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When you realize the issue of depression, how do you deal with the destruction of the sense of security in sleep?

depression self-harm subconscious security anger
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When you realize the issue of depression, how do you deal with the destruction of the sense of security in sleep? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

In the past, I slept well. But after something happened in the last two years, I became depressed. Then, I started to shut myself in and developed a habit of self-harm, feeling every day that I didn't deserve to live and should just die. It wasn't just an emotional release; I took it to heart. Eventually, it became a subconscious part of me. Now, I'm mostly over it, but the sense of security in sleep has been destroyed. There's an angry, violent little person inside me, trying every way to prevent me from sleeping and comfort. So whenever I feel myself about to fall asleep or feel the onset of comfort and happiness, this little person wakes up instantly to destroy my sense of security and comfort, which is too painful. My subconscious is now filled with anger, resentment, agitation, and destructiveness, and I've tried to communicate with myself, but to no avail. I've become compulsively self-harming. I feel that if I don't harm myself, sooner or later, someone else will. I harm myself first so that others won't point fingers at me. I use self-harm as a form of self-protection, thinking that if I appear to be in pain and anger, they will feel sorry for me rather than blaming me. It's bizarre. But I'm truly scared. I have to wrap myself up tightly, as if looking for trouble or seeking attention.

Harper Harper A total of 1401 people have been helped

Not getting enough sleep can also make you feel anxious. This can be about the future, the world around you, or all the "what if" scenarios that run through your mind.

For instance, as you mentioned in your question, you're afraid of being criticized by others in the future. So, you've already been self-critical, accused others, and pointed out your own flaws to prepare for "all kinds of things that may happen." This kind of preparation, which is almost like "self-abuse," and the act of protecting yourself is excessive.

We all need a certain level of comfort to survive, as well as a certain level of challenge.

Comfort can be dangerous, so it's important to keep growing and changing.

Similarly, if the sardine doesn't team up with the catfish, it'll probably face extinction due to a lack of crises. This could be comparable to the angry, violent "little person" in your subconscious mind that keeps you from sleeping comfortably and peacefully.

It just overreacts a bit.

If you can see this, you can start to calm your body and mind and stop being so hard on yourself. You won't need to worry so much about the future and you'll feel less stressed and tired.

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Poppy Allen Poppy Allen A total of 7491 people have been helped

Dear Questioner,

My name is Sunshine, and I am grateful for this opportunity to connect.

The grateful questioner has clear self-awareness, which brings up the topic: "What if I overcome depression and my sense of security in sleep is destroyed?"

It is possible that "insomnia" is merely a symptom, and that the underlying causes require input from a number of individuals to be identified. Given that the questioner has expressed a desire to seek assistance and self-awareness, there are a number of potential avenues for change.

I would like to take this opportunity to share some of my thoughts and ideas on this topic, for the host's reference only.

Please allow me to take a moment to clarify the specific situation described by the questioner.

Let us first clarify the specific situation described by the questioner and then proceed to interpret and analyze it.

Prior to this, I was able to sleep well.

Following an incident that occurred two years ago, I experienced a depressive episode. This led to a tendency to isolate myself and engage in self-harm, accompanied by the belief that I was undeserving of life and deserved to die.

Furthermore, it was not merely an emotional catharsis; I treated it with the gravity it deserved. Ultimately, it became an integral aspect of my subconscious.

I have now reached a point of acceptance, but the sense of security that comes with sleep has been lost.

— Was there an incident that occurred approximately two years ago that may have contributed to the questioner's current state of depression? Could these events have been the initial triggers that led to the depression?

Following these developments, I experienced a period of depression marked by a reluctance to leave the house, self-abuse, self-devaluation, and a sense of unworthiness. These symptoms align with the criteria for "negative feelings and low-motivation behaviors," which may be indicative of the questioner's internalized depression.

From the questioner's narrative, it can be seen that those "self-deprecating/negative feelings/unable to express emotions" have been internalized and embedded in the questioner's "subconscious mind." The "repressed parts" that still exist in the "subconscious mind" will occasionally cause trouble and thus become the "culprit" that disturbs the questioner's sleep.

It is possible that there are still some issues that have not yet been identified and addressed. These issues may still be affecting your sleep. It would be helpful to understand whether they are still hidden deep in the subconscious.

There is an underlying issue that is preventing me from achieving a state of rest and comfort. This internal conflict manifests as an angry and violent persona that disrupts my ability to relax and feel secure. When I am on the verge of falling asleep or experiencing a sense of ease and happiness, this persona suddenly rears its head, undermining my efforts to achieve a peaceful state of mind.

There is an angry and violent individual within, who may be considered the embodiment of our repressed inner self. When emotions within the mind are not released or discharged in a timely manner, they can manifest as physical discomfort, such as insomnia, illness, or pain.

This is due to the organic unity of body and mind. When mental restlessness persists without resolution, it can negatively impact physical well-being, leading to conditions such as insomnia, physical discomfort, and pain.

My subconscious is currently experiencing a high level of negative emotions, including anger, resentment, mania, destruction, and indulgence. I have attempted to communicate with myself, but the results have been inconclusive.

The questioner is acutely aware of this, which suggests the presence of an underlying "flame of anger." The questioner's description aligns with the characteristics of anger, mania, destruction, and indulgence. What forms of repression or inability to express have led to such intense anger?

The questioner attempted to communicate with themselves, but this was unsuccessful. It is possible that this method was ineffective in terms of "expressing anger." Have you tried any other methods?

I have already resorted to compulsive self-abuse.

I believe that if I do not engage in self-abuse, it is likely that I will eventually be abused by others. By resorting to self-abuse, I can avoid being the target of their criticism.

The questioner is aware of the distinction between "compulsive" and "self-abuse." This may occur when we are unable to "express anger" outwardly and instead engage in "self-attack" inwardly, which is a form of "self-abuse." It can also be viewed as a "negative expression" of repressed emotions that cannot be released and are directed at oneself. Ultimately, this can cause harm to oneself.

— When I experience discomfort within myself, when I have already initiated self-harm/self-injury, I believe I can "silence others" to prevent further accusations.

Is it accurate to conclude that a "disguised reaction" intensifies the repression of emotions?

I empathize with the questioner. What form did the pointing and criticism from others take during the questioner's growth process? To what extent did the questioner not feel able to express themselves, leading to self-abuse as a means of coping? Could the root cause of the current situation lie with others, and could the questioner be considered a victim?

I utilize self-abuse as a form of self-protection. I believe that if I display pain and grief, others will not accuse me but rather sympathize with me.

This situation is highly concerning. I am genuinely afraid.

I feel the need to present myself in a certain way to avoid unwanted attention. It seems as though I'm actively seeking out challenges and seeking attention.

The questioner is acutely aware of this phenomenon and views self-abuse as a form of self-protection. By presenting a facade of resilience and composure, the questioner believes that others will be more inclined to sympathize with them and refrain from holding them accountable for their actions. This is an example of an inner self-rationalization mechanism that serves a survival function and is influenced by the powerful subconscious mind.

The questioner considers this to be "abnormal." However, it is not.

Rather, it is a self-defense mechanism to "survive the fittest/avoid their accusations..." and is also a natural instinct.

In the face of the challenging circumstances that have arisen, the questioner has expressed feelings of fear and distress. In response, they have adopted a defensive stance, akin to an ostrich burying its head in the sand. This is not a proactive approach but rather a form of helpless resistance when faced with adversity. Could this be a pattern that has developed over time, perhaps over the past few years?

When the questioner's emotional expression is not seen and there is no opportunity to express the anger that has been suppressed for a long time, they will end up feeling depressed, staying at home, self-abusing/self-harming, suppressing anger inside, feeling anxious and restless, having insomnia, and so on. Can there also be changes in appetite, and is normal life affected? These are all manifestations of "depressive mood." At present, it has evolved from a purely psychological reaction to physical manifestations, which shows that both the body and mind are exhausted. It is time to recognize and face this physical and mental expression of oneself!

Based on the aforementioned analysis of the questioner's actual situation, the following approaches may be taken in addressing the matter:

[1] It is recommended that you follow your inner self-awareness, including the current physical and psychological symptoms. You may wish to record all this self-awareness and then seek out a trusted family member/friend/psychologist as soon as possible to talk to/consult with, in order to discover the deeper issues.

[2] It may be beneficial for the questioner to seek the assistance of additional professional resources to address past experiences and facilitate growth, including understanding the role of external factors in triggering depression. Identifying the nature of the evolutionary process within oneself can also be valuable. These insights can assist the questioner in exploring their inner depths.

[3] I suggest reading "Embrace Your Depressive Mood." Reading may also help you understand yourself better. However, some issues require the attention of a professional. Accepting your current situation and finding an appropriate method of self-care may be beneficial in your recovery process.

[4] It is unclear how long the questioner has been in this situation. If it has been more than two weeks, it is recommended that the questioner seek professional treatment at a local hospital's psychiatric department if self-redemption is not sufficient. Given the presence of insomnia and the questioner's "self-abusive" behavior, it is imperative to ascertain the underlying cause as soon as possible. This is the most effective method for addressing the fundamental problem, and the questioner is advised to follow the doctor's advice carefully.

If you require medication or counseling to assist in treatment, it will help the questioner find out the truth as soon as possible. Please do not waste any time.

The above is a response to the original question, which is solely my personal opinion. It is my hope that it will encourage further reflection and provide some inspiration and assistance to the original poster. I welcome more in-depth discussions. I pray that the original poster will soon overcome this challenge and embrace a free and carefree life.

Best regards, [Name]

I extend my warmest regards to you all. I am here to spread joy and positivity, and I am committed to making the world a better place. I love you all!

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Quintessa Green Quintessa Green A total of 2229 people have been helped

The rain has stopped, but it hasn't completely stopped yet. This is a great sign! It means that the depression you once had is starting to lift. You may still have some lingering effects, but you're on the road to recovery! The depression you once had included some symptoms of insomnia or lethargy, which made you feel that your sense of security was slowly dissipating. This is a normal part of the healing process. It's also a sign that you're becoming aware of the discomfort in your inner state. This is a positive sign that you're on the right track!

The current situation is indeed very upsetting, but it's also an opportunity for growth and change! Although I have figured out the depression, I'm still learning to navigate the natural sleep cycle. It's a process, but I'm confident that I'll get back to the good old days. You might also find it helpful to start making adjustments to some of your habits.

This includes what you said about staying inside, habitual self-abuse, self-loathing, and a world-weariness complex. These physical and mental attitudes all require long-term change, and I'm here to help! You feel that you don't deserve to live, and this is actually something that requires attention and psychological counseling. Let's work together to overcome this challenge!

If you talk about something too much, you may start to believe it yourself and feel that you really are not worth it. But don't worry! Many of your violent elements may interfere with your beautiful life and keep acting recklessly, because those irrational thoughts and various destructive emotions have not been pacified successfully.

You know, even constantly hurting yourself is like hurting first and then showing respect. It's a bit of a confusing logic, isn't it? But it's important to understand that self-abuse is fundamentally harming rather than protecting. So, it's time to establish this logic! I highly recommend that you seek the necessary psychological counseling to guide you in long-distance communication as soon as possible. You should absolutely not sink into destructive emotions, but rather learn to let go and protect yourself. Love yourself and cheer up!

ZQ?

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Comments

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Lorraine Anderson The fortress of honesty is impregnable against the arrows of false accusations.

I can relate to feeling like there's a part of me that sabotages my peace. It's terrifying when it feels like your own mind is against you, especially when trying to rest. Sleep used to be a sanctuary, and now it's been tainted with anxiety and fear. I wish I could find a way to silence that angry voice inside.

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Scarlett Sage True learning is a journey of exploration and discovery of our own potential.

It's heartbreaking to admit that I've turned to hurting myself as a shield. In a twisted way, it's become a method to preemptively protect myself from the judgment or potential harm from others. It's a cycle I know isn't healthy but feels necessary for survival in this moment. The thought of unwrapping myself and being vulnerable again is overwhelming.

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Jacques Davis The treasure of honesty is buried deep within a person's soul.

The struggle with sleep has been a constant battle. Just when I'm about to drift off, it's like an internal alarm goes off, waking me up because comfort feels foreign and undeserved. I long for the days when sleep came naturally, without the internal conflict and turmoil. It's exhausting to fight this war within myself every night.

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Brunhilde Daisy There is no such thing as a great talent without great will - power.

I'm scared of what I might become if I continue down this path. Wrapping myself in pain seems like the only way to cope, but deep down, I know it's not a solution. I want to believe that there's a way out of this darkness, where I don't have to rely on selfharm for protection or attention. I'm searching for that light, hoping it will guide me to a place of healing.

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