Why do I always feel my mental state is unstable, as I am easily distracted?

Hello, landlord. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I can see you're feeling distressed. I know this feeling is very uncomfortable. In fact, when you always have a set of conflicting voices fighting inside, maybe it is due to being too nervous and paying too much attention, which leads to some conflicting thoughts in us. Don't be afraid, things are not as bad as you think, because thoughts are just thoughts, and they can be changed.

We can totally clear negative thinking patterns and establish positive thinking patterns through our own efforts. You'll definitely get out of this rut and start feeling better.

It's important to understand that all these thoughts you're having right now are just thoughts. Thoughts aren't facts; they're not real. They can be changed and adjusted. Make positive adjustments to your thoughts, and you'll feel differently.

☁️Don't reinforce your thoughts, just accept that they're there.

It's actually totally normal for some strange, terrible, negative thoughts to pop up. These are our distracting thoughts, and like emotions, they go through their own processes from start to finish. If you accept that they're there, know that they're meaningless "distracting thoughts," and ignore them, then they won't affect you and will disappear on their own.

If you pay attention to it, argue with it, etc., you'll be bound by it.

So, it's best to just go with the flow and do what you should be doing.

It's natural to have distracting thoughts, and it's important to let them be. While you're going with the flow, focus on what you should be doing: if you should be working, work; if you should be studying, study; if you should be chatting, chat. Do what you should do.

Maybe at first your distracting thoughts will still bother you, but as long as you believe they'll go away eventually and as long as you try your best to do the things you should be doing in real life, those distracting thoughts and emotions will disappear without you noticing as you get on with your work.

On top of that, you feel like you have a tendency towards perfectionism. It would be a good idea for you to practise self-acceptance as much as you can.

Self-acceptance is the foundation of self-confidence and self-transformation. A lack of self-acceptance can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, which can in turn cause a number of negative experiences, including anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and personality disorders.

Self-acceptance is about having a positive attitude towards yourself and your own characteristics. It means being able to accept your own situation for what it is, without being proud of your strengths or feeling inferior because of your weaknesses. It's a right that everyone is born with.

You don't have to be outstandingly good at your job, have a long list of achievements, or make changes that others hope for in order to be accepted.

Psychologist Maslow said that a healthy person should be able to accept themselves and human nature without getting upset or complaining about it. It's like someone not complaining about why water is wet or why rocks are hard. We can live well with our shortcomings and flaws.

Knowing your position, what you need, what you want, and what you can and can't do is part of accepting yourself.

Accepting yourself means that after seeing your own imperfections, you can stay calm and patient with yourself, believing that you can keep improving and growing in reality.

Accepting yourself means appreciating what you have, respecting yourself and others, being able to look at things objectively, understanding that everyone's life is different, and being able to accept yourself even without external validation.

When you make a mistake, you accept that it's just a mistake. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. You allow yourself to make mistakes and see that mistakes are part of life. Mistakes are a way to learn and grow.

Accepting yourself means accepting all the real things that happen in life. It means not being too subjective or closed-minded, and not being too arrogant or humble.

As the famous quote by Romain Rolland goes, there's only one kind of heroism: loving life after you've understood its truth.

So, it's also important to love yourself after taking a good look at yourself.

How can we achieve self-acceptance?

Our upbringing plays a big part in why it's tough for us to accept ourselves. We often felt rejected and criticized because no one accepted us unconditionally. This formed a pattern that affects us even now. When something "problematic" or a shortcoming arises, a voice inside us will pop up, rejecting and criticizing ourselves.

So, self-acceptance takes practice. It took me a while to get to where I am now, and it's still a work in progress. But, from my experience, the more you accept yourself, the more confident you'll become, the more motivated you'll be to change, and your state of mind will continue to improve.

So think of self-acceptance as a skill you practice every day, not something you're born with.

Here are five ways to cultivate self-acceptance, as revealed by a clinical psychologist:

1. Set the goal of self-acceptance within

"Self-acceptance begins with intention," says psychologist Geoffrey Sumber. "It's important that we set a goal for ourselves, that we transform a world of blame, doubt, and shame into a world of inclusion, acceptance, and trust." This idea acknowledges that self-loathing doesn't lead to a satisfying life.

Sambur says, "If I set the goal that a life of self-acceptance is better than a life of self-hatred, then I'll start to adapt to a more peaceful way of living."

2. Record your strengths.

Every day, write down one of your strengths, affirm your value, and see your strengths. You'll be amazed at how quickly you'll discover your strengths. And playing to your strengths will give you more confidence than correcting your weaknesses.

In today's world, our weaknesses can be made up for through teamwork, and our strengths show what makes us special.

3. Look for support from relationships.

Spend time with people you feel comfortable with, who accept you unconditionally, support you, and love you. Build a supportive relationship with them so you feel more stable, peaceful, and joyful.

4. Talk to your best self.

Imagine interacting with your best self. See your best self, which is deep within you, looking at your current situation. What would it suggest you do?

This visualization of separation helps you to detach from your current self and use your inner wisdom to facilitate healing.

This exercise helps us learn how to be the best parents we can be and show ourselves some love. You can spend a few minutes meditating and doing this exercise when you're in a tough spot or need some guidance or self-care.

5. Model the behavior you want to see in yourself until it becomes a habit.

If you don't think you're a valuable person, start by giving yourself value and holding onto this belief. We can only forgive our mistakes and give up the need for others' approval when we can unconditionally accept ourselves.

We all make mistakes, and so do other people. Our identity isn't defined by our mistakes.

If we lack something inside, we'll look for it outside. If we can't accept ourselves, we'll especially long for the acceptance of others. But everything outside is unstable. So, we can only gain stable acceptance by turning in. When we achieve self-acceptance, we won't care so much about the approval and evaluation of others. Then, we'll gain true inner freedom.

Wishing you the best!