17-year-old girl, thinking about my ex-boyfriend, a bad relationship, depressing and difficult to bear

What happened is still very vivid in your mind. You are still not an adult, and you are still a 17-year-old girl in the prime of youth, which is a relatively beautiful age in life. You were even younger two years ago, probably a minor girl around 15 years old.

But at that time, you already had a romantic and sexual experience, and this period of time was relatively early on, so it may have a relatively strong impact on your entire life. You met him in a cram school, and there was a big background supporting you.

And you can also see the other person's various thoughts. You still secretly think that he likes you, and after learning that the two of you are in the same community, you will have more interactions! The more melodramatic part is that the other person already has a girlfriend.

It's wild that he kissed you and there was some physical contact. He's an adult, but you weren't at the time. It's a legal taboo, so it can't lead to a deep relationship.

These are also various rules set in place to protect the health and safety of minors. Your parents may also be very angry when they find out about these things, thinking that you have done so much at such a young age, and that there is no way to undo what has happened in the past. But don't worry! You can work through this together.

It's time to focus on your studies! You've got this! You can face your life head-on. Don't let what's already happened distract you. As your professional heart exploration coach, I'm here to support you. Let's get you the psychological counseling you need!

ZQ?

Hello? Questioner, I understand your guilt and confusion. Let me give you a hug.

1.

In the second year of high school, studying is harder. You said that thinking about what happened in junior high makes you distracted. It's normal to think a lot when you're stressed about school. When you can't study, your thoughts get stuck!

2.

You said you didn't like him either, and he had a girlfriend. They were just people who passed each other by. During puberty, he had a relationship with the innocent you. They acted on impulse. Young people don't know everything at the beginning.

Don't worry, it's over!

3.

Your parents were worried about you. They were also afraid of the consequences of pregnancy. You were impressed by how they handled the situation.

You can't rest easy because they're restless!

4.

In love, women are more passive and easily disadvantaged. They are influenced by traditional culture and their social status still needs to be improved. Men and women are equal, but they are not equal in terms of physiology. Women still bear the task of getting pregnant and giving birth. If an underage boy has a relationship, we may be more tolerant.

5.

The past was tough, but it was a learning experience. Life is a journey with good and bad moments. You will experience them all. Just accept it. Everyone makes mistakes.

Let's accept this mistake as a lesson. We all struggle. We grew up confused and curious.

6.

If you're not planning to have kids, use a condom. Men may not care about getting pregnant, but women do. It's their health that's at stake!

Congratulations on your success. Focus on your studies. You'll see that nothing else is as important as your studies. Accept reality and yourself!

I hope my sharing helps. Go for it, young people!

Good morning, host.

From your responses, it is evident that you frequently recall a romantic relationship that transpired two years ago. Following the discovery of this relationship by your parents, you experienced a loss of trust from them and a subsequent restriction of your freedom. This led to feelings of depression. During your second year of high school, which was marked by significant stress, your memories of this relationship consistently influenced your academic performance. I empathize with your feelings of helplessness.

In your description, you indicate that you are attempting to cope with the pain and adjust your mentality through your own efforts. This is evidenced by your observation that "Sometimes it's hard to think about, and sometimes it's not."

One might then consider what actions were taken when one did not experience such distress.

It is possible that you frequently ascribe blame and regret to yourself when you reflect on the past. This kind of self-rejection and denial may be the source of your distress. It can also be argued that the manner in which you perceive your experiences will give rise to emotional responses that correspond to that perception.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that every event and experience has two distinct aspects, which can be examined from two distinct perspectives: a positive and a negative one.

When experiences are viewed in a negative light, emotions and feelings may manifest as a belief that the experiences have caused harm and that life has been devoid of color since the occurrence of the experiences.

However, if one attempts to alter their perspective and view their experiences from a positive standpoint, their emotional and affective states may undergo a transformation. This can manifest as a shift in perspective, whereby one acknowledges the potential for growth and learning despite past challenges. This recognition can foster a sense of personal advancement and optimism, leading to a perception of a life filled with hope.

When one learns to accept oneself and utilize positive language when speaking to oneself, one discovers that the past ceases to impede progress and instead becomes a foundation for future growth.

In conclusion, the following advice is offered for the reduction of study pressure and the adjustment of one's mindset:

1.

One may attempt to enhance one's awareness of one's physical and mental state by focusing on one's breathing and capturing one's thoughts. By initiating a state of relaxation and identifying and sorting through one's daily emotions, one may gain control over these thoughts and alter them, thereby facilitating the transformation of negative emotions into more constructive ones.

2.

It is recommended that individuals engage in open communication with trusted family members and friends about their thoughts and feelings. Alternatively, they may seek professional psychological counseling to discuss their thoughts about the future or the difficulties they are currently facing in life. It is also advised that they make full use of the resources available to them.

3.

If one is disinclined to engage in communication with others, one may utilize a gratitude journal as a means of self-reflection. This practice allows for a shift in focus towards positive experiences and a potential transformation in one's cognitive processes.

Best wishes.

Hello, relationship-depressing-and-difficult-to-bear-4510.html" target="_blank">17-year-old girl. I've read your story many times. You're young and beautiful.

Your life has many possibilities. One person's mistakes don't define you.

You met him when you were under a lot of pressure and depressed. He was in your life for a short time. He gave you a memory.

This memory is still troubling you, isn't it?

------

You were fifteen and didn't know better. If you keep torturing yourself, you'll only regret it. He was 26 and knew better.

Did he take responsibility for you after the relationship? Did he explain anything to you or your family?

I don't understand some parts of the question, so I won't ask too many questions.

I hope the questioner can overcome the hurdle. If anything is unclear, you can work through it.

I'm guessing you don't talk much and you don't mind ending the relationship. Your family knows and makes you feel scared and confused. I went to the police to prove I was serious. Why do you need to prove this?

Have you felt pressure talking calmly with your parents about this?

The original poster is probably in their second year of high school now, and it's even more intense. Because of this, it may be a shadow in your heart.

You don't know how to communicate with your family. I feel sad for you because you caused this problem.

Life seen in close-up is sad, but life seen in long shot is funny. You've only lived about 1/5 of your life, so don't dwell on it.

This problem may seem serious to you right now.

I want to tell you that

First of all, it's not your fault. You were just a kid at 15. Growing up is a process of constant change.

This is just a small part of your past. Forget about it.

In the movie "Erosion," Kane said, "I'm wrong. I'm stuck in the past while everyone else is moving forward."

Look forward to yourself, the past, and the future.

Salt C, the world, and I love you.

Hello. I want you to know that you are not at fault for what happened. Look at yourself with kindness and respect your own thoughts and feelings more.

You must have felt very alone and in pain. Everyone needs to be understood and supported when they're facing challenges. From what your parents did, it's clear they didn't care about your inner feelings, communicate with you, or understand you.

However, most parents at that age are like that, thinking that their children must do what they think is right. Don't feel bad about them not understanding you and criticizing you. You only need to gain the understanding of one person, and that is yourself.

You must accept what has happened and learn from it. Don't blame yourself. What matters is that sex should only happen when you consent and want to. Your lack of rejection does not mean consent.

You must respect your true thoughts. Refuse to do something you don't want to do without worrying about losing someone's affection. If someone's affection for you is conditional and requires you to do something you don't want to do, then that relationship is unnecessary.

Let me be clear: the lack of sex education in our country is also one of the reasons why this kind of thing happens. If you are going to have sex without the intention of having children, you must always use contraception. This is not negotiable. Abortion is very harmful to a woman's body and may even prevent her from being able to have children in the future.

You must also be careful about who you choose as a sexual partner to prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

Finally, love yourself! You are not unclean just because you had sex. Your true value is not reflected in that membrane; it is just a moment in your long life that seems important now.

You are worthy of a far higher value than that of those who judge and belittle you, or even what you yourself think. Some people love you but can also hurt you.

You are the one person who will stay with you for the rest of your life. You are also the one person who can take responsibility for your life.

Fly to your mountain like a bird. In God's eyes, all things are possible.

You are a person of infinite possibilities and countless value.