1271
98
33
By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello. Your procrastination is causing conflict in your relationship with your husband. You feel pressure from your husband, and the more pressure there is, the worse your procrastination seems to get.
From a psychological standpoint, procrastination is typically an avoidance behavior. It's a way of avoiding things that make us uncomfortable. This discomfort can manifest in various forms, such as:
You said you felt forced to become a housewife after marriage. I don't know the specifics of the decision-making process, but it's clear that the identity of "housewife" doesn't align with your personal will. This means you'll resist some of the family responsibilities that are "bound" to the identity of housewife. Housework is a reminder that this is what housewives are supposed to do. This is why you want to avoid it and put it off as much as possible.
Furthermore, there is often a struggle for power in a marriage, including a sense of dominance in family matters, relationship interactions, personal space, etc. Your husband's high standards and strict requirements have, to some extent, denied you control over your own pace of life, which has undoubtedly triggered a sense of inequality in your relationship. Procrastination is also an external manifestation of inner rebellion/resistance.
To improve your situation with procrastination, you must first find your own internal motivation. Don't do things out of obligation to satisfy others. Think about what you want to do for yourself that will bring you satisfaction.
You need to identify the resources that will help you and the obstacles you need to overcome. You also need to be honest with your husband about your feelings, including how you feel about being forced to be a housewife. You need to tell him what kind of understanding and support you need from him.
Sleep and procrastination are mere symptoms of a deeper problem: your feelings about each other in the relationship.
When you take control of your inner needs and fight for understanding and support, you will feel more confident. You will find that procrastination is no longer needed to fight against dissatisfaction and discomfort. You will also be more willing to explore new paths to achieve your goals.
Helpful to me 26
disapprove0
Comments
I can totally relate to feeling stuck in a cycle of procrastination, especially when it's under the pressure of someone else's high standards. It sounds like you're really struggling with the transition from student life to being a housewife, and the stress is making things worse. Maybe it's time to have an open conversation with your husband about how you're feeling. Sharing your feelings might help him understand where you're coming from and could lead to finding a more balanced approach to your daily routines.
It feels like there's a big disconnect between you and your husband's expectations, and that's putting a lot of strain on both of you. Procrastination can sometimes be a response to feeling overwhelmed or not having control over your own life. Perhaps setting small, manageable goals for yourself each day could help you regain some of that control. Also, talking to a therapist might provide insight into why you're struggling with procrastination and offer strategies to improve your situation.
The pressure to meet such strict deadlines and the fear of failure might be contributing to your procrastination. It's important to recognize that perfection isn't attainable and that it's okay to make mistakes. You could try discussing with your husband the possibility of creating a more flexible schedule that allows for some leeway. Additionally, seeking support from friends or a counselor could give you the encouragement you need to tackle these challenges and work towards a healthier relationship dynamic.