Always enduring, in the end, psychological issues arise. How should one transform one's character?

Hello, host!

From what you've said, it seems like you tend to avoid interpersonal issues as they arise, without dealing with your emotions. You often use a strategy of forbearance, but long-term forbearance can make you start to deny yourself, feeling a sense of self-blame for why you didn't act well at the time, as well as a sense of self-guilt for why you were so cowardly. When you add up all these feelings, it can make you feel conflicted and helpless.

Forbearance might be driven by a fear of conflict, so I'd like to share some tips on how to handle it.

When you're faced with conflict or bullying, you usually have two main options:

Dealing with it head-on.

Avoid.

The former is often seen as strong, powerful, and courageous, while the latter is often seen as weak and cowardly. But is it good to deal with conflict?

Is avoiding conflict always a bad thing?

Not necessarily.

First, let's talk about why some people are afraid of conflict. It's because they're the ones who lose and suffer in a conflict. And the people who often win in a conflict are not afraid of conflict.

If you're bullied, you'll lose resources and self-esteem. The bigger the losses, the more you'll mind being bullied.

So, can dealing with conflict help you avoid losing, or even benefit you in some way?

There are three possible outcomes:

You have a conflict, the other person gives in, and you reach a compromise. You get more benefits, which is the best result.

This makes you strong and courageous, wise and clever.

If you choose to conflict but the other person doesn't change, you still haven't gained anything and haven't lost anything either. In this way, although you haven't won, you have tried, you have done your best, you have defended yourself, and you have been very brave.

If you choose to conflict, the other party will be more motivated, which will do you more harm and you will lose more as a result. It's like the conflict between an egg and a stone. I don't know whether to praise you for being so brave or to laugh at you.

The best way is to study the other person, figure out the strength gap between you two, and then decide whether to conflict, insist, or compromise. But this research and judgment requires a certain level of professional competence.

And choosing conflict isn't free. As soon as you choose to go to conflict, you have to invest time, energy, and opportunity costs, and you'll be consumed by it.

Picking a fight is a matter of investing and getting back what you put in.

If you invest the time and energy, you'll probably get a compromise from the other party, and you'll be better off. But if they still don't change, you've spent a lot of energy on something that has no result, and you've actually lost out.

If the other person hurts you more as a result, you'll have suffered a bigger loss.

In reality, when you choose to engage in conflict, only the first result is likely to be beneficial. But what is the probability of that first result?

People who are afraid of conflict automatically think there's a low chance of the first thing happening, so they choose the safer option of avoiding conflict.

What should you do when you're facing bullying in your professional life? Should you admit defeat or stand up for yourself?

Only those who know themselves and their opponent are worthy of hard steel. But this is very draining.

We all have limited energy, so we have to make choices about how we use it.

It's not always going to be a positive outcome.

Keeping up with the times is an ongoing process.

There's another way of living: being unyielding.

They're both good. Being a coward or a hero just means you're someone with a different "financial management style," and that style is the best for you.

If you're afraid of conflict, you can choose to step away from the situation. This is your "stop loss" approach, and it's a way of protecting yourself. It shows that you're a prudent financial player.

Life isn't just about conflict. It's also about flourishing. It's a way of life to spend a lot of time and energy on conflict and bravery.

Avoid conflicts you're not good at and focus on the bigger picture. Even if you lose a little in a conflict, you'll gain a lot in the wider world. You can't win every battle, but if you win some, you'll come out on top.

Like bravery, cowardice is also a kind of wisdom, an advantage, and an optimal customization that suits you.

I hope these thoughts will inspire you! Have a great day!

My name is Gu Yi. I am a modest and humble individual with a consistent work ethic.

It is important to maintain a stable state of mind in order to perform well.

It is beneficial for everyone to experience this: when you are engaged in a task, you feel that you are performing adequately. However, after it is complete, you find yourself reflecting on the experience and wishing you could do it again, with the aim of perfecting your approach to the task at hand.

In this way, each of us strives to enhance our abilities. However, we often face challenges in effectively communicating and adapting to evolving circumstances. Consequently, we may experience regret, and in attempting to address it, we may engage in self-reflection and visualization. This is a common experience that stems from our past experiences. Having this reaction indicates that we are actively thinking through the situation.

Therefore, the more you dwell on the situation, the more you feel constrained and the more you want to create an opportunity to experience it again, as if the previous experience was merely a rehearsal and the real performance has yet to commence. However, our lives are not a rehearsal or a do-over; they are a continuous performance. Therefore, the only option is to maintain a stable performance throughout the remainder of your life.

How to mitigate feelings of regret.

The reason for the occurrence of some of the psychological illusions described above is due to a lack of satisfaction and the presence of regrets. Therefore, it is essential to identify ways to reduce this feeling of regret. One effective approach is to enhance resilience in our daily lives, enabling us to consistently perform at our optimal level in any given situation. This will significantly diminish the occurrence of regrets.

❀ Resource coordination is a critical skill. When we have regrets, we reflect on them and integrate the insights into our actions, providing direction for improvement. For instance, we can consider why we didn't perform as expected, whether it was due to nerves or the other person's influence, and identify the underlying reason for our limitations. When we uncover these insights, we can make the necessary adjustments to achieve our goals.

It is beneficial to experience regret, as it serves as a catalyst for reflection and growth. When we allow ourselves to dwell on past experiences, we can identify areas for improvement and develop strategies to overcome them. By integrating these insights into our actions and adapting our approach, we can enhance our current performance and achieve better results.

Best regards,

Hello!

I understand what you're feeling. I can see your anger, resentment, self-blame, helplessness, and the desire to personality-changes-dramatically-after-surgery-8268.html" target="_blank">change. Let's look at it together.

I understand how you feel. I can see your anger, resentment, self-blame, helplessness, and desire for change. Let's look at it together.

"I think about the same thing over and over. I even imagine the situation and start a conversation."

In our daily lives, we will always encounter such situations. We were angry, but we didn't lash out. After thinking about it, we feel resentful and suffocated. We will constantly rehearse the scene in our minds.

We all encounter this in our daily lives. We were angry, but didn't say anything. Now we feel resentful and suffocated. We imagine the scene over and over.

This is normal because we live in groups and think about others when we act and talk. People have different personalities and work styles, so they react differently to the same thing. The question owner doesn't need to worry too much or blame themselves.

This is normal. We live in groups and consider others when we act and talk. People have different personalities and work styles, so they react differently to the same thing. The question owner doesn't need to worry or blame themselves.

"Why am I such a loser? I'm too nice to offend people, and I always run into jerks. What should I do to protect myself?"

The questioner is sensitive and thinks about things a lot. They feel they can't move on without a heart. They're also too nice and afraid of offending people. Sometimes they don't express their opinions clearly.

Here's what you can do:

Here's what you can do:

Accept yourself.

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your past. Accepting that you are not perfect and that you have areas where you need help.

You must accept your imperfections. Admit you are not perfect, but believe you can change and become stronger.

Don't punish yourself for others' mistakes.

If the other person isn't angry, there's no need to be.

There's a limerick online called "Don't Get Mad." It's about how getting angry is actually punishing yourself for someone else's faults, but if the other person isn't angry, there's no need.

When you next encounter a similar incident, calm down and think about why it happened. Consider the situation from different points of view. If the other person will be happier, it's not worth being sad alone.

If the horse is lost, it might be found.

The questioner mentioned his own personality, feeling too soft and afraid to offend people, and wanting to change his personality. Every personality has its own advantages and disadvantages.

The questioner mentioned his own personality, feeling too soft and afraid to offend people, and wanting to change his personality. Every personality has advantages and disadvantages.

This kind of personality can help you to be careful, empathize with others, and gain friends. People will see you as reliable. However, when bad things happen, you ignore this and focus on the negative. Sometimes, good and bad can be mixed up.

You don't have to change your personality. It's the result of experience. Just follow your heart and do what's right. Don't worry about what others think.

You don't need to change your personality. It's formed over time. Just follow your heart and do what you should do. Don't care about what others think.

Strike when the iron is hot.

If there are many similar situations, then the questioner may as well say the inner script in advance. Sometimes it is true that others have gone too far, and there is no need to tolerate it again and again. Some people eat hard and not soft. It is also necessary to make your attitude clear at the necessary moment, but pay attention to the occasion and never become like the other person!

If there are many similar situations, the questioner may as well say the inner script in advance. Sometimes others have gone too far, and there is no need to tolerate it. Some people are hard to please. It is also necessary to make your attitude clear at the necessary moment, but pay attention to the occasion and never become like the other person!

If there are many similar situations, the questioner may as well say the inner script in advance. Sometimes others have gone too far, and there is no need to tolerate it. Some people are difficult. It is also necessary to make your attitude clear at the necessary moment, but you must pay attention to the occasion.

If someone makes unreasonable demands, reject them politely. If it's a colleague, be tactful. After a few times, they'll stop.

If it's unreasonable or you don't want to do it, say no. But if it's a colleague, be polite. After a few times, they'll stop asking.

I hope my answer helps.

I hope this helps the original poster. Best regards!

Insightful, so sharing is a habit! I am speaking to myself.

I'll get straight to the point.

So I don't get angry.

The core requirement is

My character is not soft.

The word "soft" is abstract here.

Easy to understand.

I don't know what it means.

I want to give this word a different meaning.

It's about boundaries.

What is boundary awareness?

Boundaries are like walls.

Everyone is an independent person with their own thoughts.

Each of our hearts

Everyone has their own space.

They control the distance between us and others.

Even in a loving relationship.

You can't barge in without boundaries.

Don't let them take over your space.

Don't let the other person take over your space.

Don't let him in without your permission.

Violate your space and dignity.

Don't do this to others.

Everyone has a private space in their hearts.

Once control is violated, there are no more rules.

A soft character is afraid of offending people.

It's just a surface-level view.

This is why people call you "soft."

Think about the ambiguity of your own boundaries.

If something makes you unhappy or angry,

Endure.

Over time.

Even if you are angry and upset.

It's harder to vent emotions in these situations.

In this situation, others see you differently.

Maybe people think you don't care.

You don't mind.

You know best.

The final word:

Psychologically, it's important to set boundaries.

It's about being yourself.

You don't control anyone.

and that no one can control you.

Set boundaries so you and others can get to know you.

It's an effective way to resolve the situation.

I hope you can respect each other in a big crowd.

Respect each other.

Appreciate each other's differences.

These differences make the other person look radiant.

These differences make the other person look radiant.

Dear question asker,

My name is Xiaobai, and I am here to offer you my assistance in alleviating your concerns.

Firstly, I will offer you a substantial embrace from a distance.

It is my intention to proffer some views and suggestions in the hope that they may prove helpful.

Let us first undertake a detailed examination of the particular issue that the questioner has raised, with a view to offering an interpretation and analysis.

The questioner's initial statement is unclear and lacks sufficient detail to permit a definitive response.

I find myself continually preoccupied with a particular incident, even imagining the circumstances and initiating a dialogue. The event evokes feelings of discomfort and unhappiness, which I did not express at the time. Consequently, I have been unable to fully process the experience. There are numerous instances where I have endured situations with a sense of anger and resentment. In reflection, I question my actions and decisions at the time. I tend to internalize my negative emotions, which I perceive as a weakness. I recognize that I possess a gentle personality and am reluctant to offend others. However, I frequently encounter individuals who exhibit disagreeable behaviors. How can I safeguard myself from future offenses?

If one persistently tolerates such circumstances, it can ultimately lead to the development of psychological issues. In such cases, it is essential to consider modifying one's personality traits to enhance resilience and emotional well-being.

The question thus arises as to whether one should continue to tolerate such circumstances when one has reached one's limit.

The decision of whether to tolerate an unbearable situation when one's limits have been reached is dependent on the circumstances.

Should circumstances reach a point at which one is unable to tolerate the situation any longer and continuing to do so would be contrary to the principles of benevolence and righteousness, then it is at this juncture that recourse to legitimate means of resistance becomes permissible. Patience is a quality that may be cultivated through upbringing, but it is not a virtue that should be expected of one who is being bullied.

In dealing with unreasonable individuals, a moderate degree of patience may be perceived as a form of "education." However, excessive patience may be interpreted as acquiescence and may potentially lead to adverse outcomes.

If one is unable to tolerate a situation any longer, it is not necessary to continue doing so.

It is frequently asserted that forbearance is a virtue. Indeed, forbearance is a necessary quality in order to achieve a harmonious existence.

However, it is also important to recognize the limitations of forbearance. When one reaches the point of no longer being able to tolerate a situation, it is necessary to take action.

Consequently, when others persistently transgress your established limits, it is time to cease tolerating their actions and to take a stand. At this juncture, a strategic counterattack is the most effective course of action to achieve a favorable outcome.

If one persists in tolerating the actions of a bully, it will only serve to embolden the bully and further exacerbate the situation.

It is important to recognize that there is no guarantee that one will encounter only benevolent individuals throughout their lifetime. When confronted with those who exhibit malevolent behavior, it is crucial not to succumb to fear. Only through the courage to resist can one safeguard their rights and interests.

At this juncture, it is imperative to cease being patient. When the opportune moment arises, one must act with decisive action. Similarly, when it is time to disengage, one must do so without hesitation. It is crucial not to be deterred by the prospect of causing offense.

It is important to recognize the limitations of forbearance. It is not necessary to tolerate individuals who are excessively assertive and arrogant, and it is similarly unproductive to tolerate those who exhibit even more egregious behaviors.

Individuals who are subjected to bullying exhibit kindness in response, while horses display docility when they are ridden. When faced with unbearable circumstances, it is advisable to take a stand.

One should extend forbearance to those who are kind and tolerance to those who are sincere.

One must still speak up courageously when faced with a situation, despite the potential for fear.

In conclusion, the aforementioned views and suggestions are presented with the hope that they may prove beneficial to the reader.

I wish you the best of success!

Dear questioner, Thank you for taking the time to ask your question.

? I can empathize with you based on your question.

1. About consistently accepting circumstances.

I believe that the part about "always holding back" eventually led to the development of psychological problems.

Could I suggest that the part you are trying to suppress is actually the part that refers to repressed emotions?

It is worth noting that when it comes to emotions and feelings, suppressing them can often lead to psychological issues. However, if we can foster growth in our character, enhance our awareness, and develop a range of expression methods, such as venting, emotional expression, suppression, and the sublimation of aggression, we can move beyond a state of suppression.

It is only natural that as we begin to express our emotions and feelings in a healthy way, we will start to feel the vitality of life flowing through us.

The second part is about reflecting on past experiences.

In regard to the statement, "I always think about the same thing over and over again, and I even start imagining the scene and having a conversation," it is understandable that the incident at the time made you feel uncomfortable and unhappy. It is not uncommon to feel this way and to have difficulty expressing these emotions. It is important to recognize that enduring these feelings is not the solution. It is essential to acknowledge that there are many things that make you angry and to find ways to address these feelings constructively. When we think back on the incident, it is natural to feel angry and resentful. However, it is important to recognize that we cannot blame ourselves for what happened at the time.

This could be described as a kind of psychological rumination. That is to say, when we encounter problems or negative emotions, we may find ourselves caught in a "whirlpool of thoughts," repeatedly thinking about a certain thing. And sometimes, the more we think, the worse our emotions become, and the more painful we become.

It seems that this way of thinking has led to an endless cycle of self-attack for the original poster.

I wonder if I might ask your advice. In fact, Ms. Satir, a family therapy psychologist, told us: "The problem is never the problem; it is how you perceive the problem that matters."

3. Regarding the issue of encountering individuals who may be perceived as problematic or challenging:

For instance, in the section where the original poster states that they consistently encounter individuals who exhibit undesirable traits,

Perhaps we could consider that the questioner views the unfortunate events and individuals who affect their emotions as less than ideal.

In what I am about to say, I do not intend to suggest that the questioner should forgive them or others. Rather, I hope to illustrate that our cognitive model can often affect how we perceive people and deal with them.

Perhaps the people you encountered made you feel angry and hurt. It's possible you've come to view them as unkind individuals.

Many psychologists have also experienced this psychological process, which can lead to a belief that everything is the fault of the world, the fault of others, and a feeling that others are hell. However, with cognitive improvement, psychologists can learn to integrate cognition and practice into their lives, which can help them realize that those who have hurt them do not actually need to be forgiven.

But they also recognize that these experiences have the potential to facilitate personal growth and transformation. By learning to view these challenges as opportunities for growth and change, they can begin to turn the pain into nourishment.

In other words, the pain you have suffered is not in vain. It is meaningful and has the potential to be transformed and elevated.

I believe that the whole you is definitely not cowardly, but rather strong and full of courage. Otherwise, it would be difficult to face all of this head-on and seek help.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. I wish you well.

Hello!

Good morning! I just wanted to say hello.

I can see that this question has been on your mind for a while. It's totally understandable! It can be really frustrating when we're dealing with something that's affecting our wellbeing. I'm here to support you in finding solutions.

1. Logical analysis

"Simulate the scene at the time and start the conversation" – it may seem like a form of self-awareness, carefully considering how to respond to the other person, how to pay attention to your expression, and then becoming an expert at communicating more and more smoothly.

You can choose to see your own efforts, my friend.

People who are "too soft-natured and afraid of offending others" and "who always run into trash people" are often mutually attractive. It's because trash people will look for soft targets.

But we must remember that these people are actually also insecure and inferior.

A truly open-minded person is reasonable, has a sense of public duty, and doesn't seek to benefit themselves at the expense of others.

It's totally normal to feel disgusted by trash people. In fact, they're probably feeling the same way about you! They're afraid of your kindness and righteousness.

2. Self-improvement

First of all, remember that your value does not depend on the approval of others, especially not those who don't treat you well.

I'm so excited to tell you all about the self-improvement I'm going to be sharing with you! It's all about gaining spiritual nourishment through learning and reading, while also being willing to experience the lives of others (lives in books).

You can find people who share similar thoughts as you, but everyone's experiences may be slightly different. And that's okay! We all have different resources available to us.

And remember, when it comes to overcoming difficulties, solving problems, and turning situations around, it all depends on the way you think!

There's no quick fix for improving your way of thinking. It takes time, effort, and a good understanding of the situation. Be kind to yourself and don't blame external factors.

And the great news is that your disposition will also become more and more optimistic!

The part of yourself that makes you feel disgusted is not the whole you. It's just a part of you! And if you accept it with love, this part of yourself will be willing to change and accept your company. It'll merge into a self that no longer fights with itself.

Wishing you the very best!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to ask a question. Kind regards,

The formation of a pleasing personality

It is not uncommon for individuals to be overly accommodating and fearful of causing offense. This mindset is frequently driven by concerns about conflict, negative feedback, and even the potential for harm to the relationship.

Ultimately, it originates from deep-seated insecurities.

This mentality may be related to the environment in which we grew up as children. I am curious to know how your relationship with your family was like. In general, a lack of secure care as a child can lead to a personality that is inclined to be pleasing.

During our formative years, if we were required to read people's expressions and act in a manner that was perceived as pleasing in order to gain the attention of our caregivers, this would have an impact on our character development.

It is important to re-examine the current environment.

If we wish to effect change, it is essential to adopt a new perspective and recognise that our current environment differs from that of our childhood. We have the capacity for independent action and can manage our own affairs. The individuals with whom we interact are not our caregivers, but our partners.

As partners, it is crucial to recognize each other's needs and communicate expectations clearly.

As previously stated, the fear of rejection often stems from the potential for conflict, negative comments, or even the dissolution of the relationship. These are our own concerns, and the reality is that these outcomes are not inevitable.

What are the potential consequences of refusing to assist the other party? Could this action result in the dissolution of the relationship?

If the other party's actions have caused you to lose your temper, and you choose to remain silent, this sends a clear message to the other party that such behaviour is acceptable. Conversely, if you choose to express your feelings, even if you are angry, this sends a clear message to the other party that such behaviour is unacceptable and that it has caused you to lose your temper.

In the event of a similar situation occurring in the future, it would be beneficial to consider the potential consequences of either expressing your attitude or refusing. What is the worst that could happen?

Does this pose a genuine threat to our continued existence? If the situation we fear were to arise, what steps could we take to improve the outcome?

Practice declining requests.

Many of us are reluctant to assert ourselves because we fear rejection and conflict. However, when we recognize that there is no inherent downside to saying "no" occasionally and that expressing ourselves courageously can enhance our confidence, we become less apprehensive about rejection and more willing to express ourselves.

Begin with minor tasks, such as declining sales pitches and stating, "I don't require that." Alter your response from "That's acceptable" to "I would like..." or "I believe..." and seek additional chances to train your responses. As you gain experience, you will become more confident in expressing your preferences.

Naturally, the process will present challenges, but taking the first step will greatly facilitate subsequent steps. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us on the Yi Xinli platform. We are here to support you.

My name is Big Brain Hole, and I am grateful for your attention. Thank you for reading!

If something has already happened, it's best to just let it go. There's no point in constantly rehashing it over and over. It's just annoying yourself. Since it's already history, it's best to let it go rather than continue to let past unhappiness affect your current experience.

You might still feel pretty uncomfortable about something that happened in the past. You feel a lot of frustration in the present, and it seems like the discomfort from the past is carrying over. Maybe you tolerated too much in the past, which made you suppress your emotions.

◆If you always put up with things, you'll end up with psychological problems.

The way you change your personality is by thinking about it over and over.

You'll also be able to run through the dialogue again in the moment. At the time, you didn't feel comfortable.

Endurance

Keep going.

These repressed emotions can still turn into a flood of painful emotions. You'll understand why your way of dealing with it was wrong at the time and why you blamed yourself.

Learning from history can help you understand why dynasties rise and fall and how you can make yourself better at your job.

The choices you made were based on what you thought was best at the time.

You've developed your own opinions.

This is true of many things. If you put up with too much, you'll keep regressing and find yourself with no way out. We still need to be a bit more assertive. For example, the boss always shifts the blame and makes us, the employees, feel guilty, and then gives us some petty favors.

Let's just do what we're told and keep working like a horse for them. These are also pretty intolerable. We still need to pay close attention to our own rights and interests and fight for them instead of constantly backing down. You can see those thoughts you never got to vent out.

What are you thinking about saying? You're angry and regretful, and you're also worried and uncomfortable. You're blaming yourself for not making some changes, but at the time you didn't think about it that much.

You feel pretty weak and don't know what to do. You also feel like you always meet people without any qualities. What if they jump out of the frying pan in a desperate situation, which won't be good for you? You also need to think about this level, or you should stay away from such people.

Don't be too submissive or too arrogant. If the other person is wrong, admit it. Just because you can't argue with them at the time doesn't mean they're right. You still need to find the right allies to fight for your legitimate rights and interests. At the same time, I also recommend that you talk to a coach about what has happened recently, and take a psychological test to understand your personality. Good luck.

ZQ?