Always tend to evade problems, wanting to do things to the extreme?

Dear questioner, I'm excited to answer your question!

In our daily lives, if we encounter difficulties, we have the power to solve them! It's up to us to make the problem better, not worse. From the text, it seems that the questioner also has a sense of possessiveness towards his girlfriend. But everyone is independent, and we can't imprison other people and their actions. Thoughts, etc. If the sense of possessiveness is too strong, it will also lead to the breakdown of the relationship. But we can avoid this by understanding that it is impossible to do the above. The questioner is pushing his girlfriend away and taking extreme measures because he doesn't know any better. But we can help him! We can show him that the more we like to avoid problems and are unwilling to solve them, the more we will make the problem worse.

There are so many reasons why we might prefer to avoid problems!

Let's dive into the fascinating topic of personality! There's no such thing as good or bad when it comes to personality. Introverts have the advantage of being introverted. If you're not willing to communicate and interact, you might find that the initiative for the problem falls on someone else's hands. This could lead to others perceiving you as incompetent or weak. Not wanting to solve even this little problem might make people actively avoid you, which could result in you losing friends or resources. If you have inferiority complexes, you might feel that you cannot solve problems if you encounter them. The most common inner voices of people with inferiority complexes are "I can't" and "Can this be done?" This could lead to a mentality of avoidance, which might result in the situation described by the original poster, who would rather avoid than deal with it. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome these challenges and embrace your personality.

Let's dive into the second point: the importance of independence from an early age. In family education, when children are young, parents often want to take care of everything for their little ones. While it's natural to want to protect our kids, we can still give them the chance to learn and grow by letting them face challenges on their own. When we let kids tackle problems independently, they develop the amazing ability to problem-solve. They become more confident and capable of handling difficulties on their own. So, let's encourage our kids to face challenges head-on!

3. [Evasion is a psychological defense mechanism] Human nature is to seek benefits and avoid harm. Evading from an event may also be a psychological defense mechanism to protect oneself. We are afraid of facing various negative emotions associated with problems, such as fear, anxiety, etc. When negative emotions arise, we will not take the initiative to solve the problem, but choose to evade, delay, or ignore it. No matter what the problem is, evasion will only make the problem stagnate and not solve it, and it may even damage various relationships and hurt loved ones, partners, friends, etc. But there is a way to avoid these problems and keep your relationships strong!

Ready to solve it? Here's my advice:

Let's dive right in and conquer our challenges head-on! When we come across a problem or difficulty, we can assess how tough it is. Is it a biggie?

Communication is about achieving results and solving problems. If you feel that you are having difficulty solving a problem, then what result do you want to achieve? What actions do you need to take to reduce the difficulty? At the same time, face the problem head-on. No matter how you solve the problem, you must take the initiative to communicate and exchange ideas. Otherwise, the problem will remain unsolved. If you keep avoiding it, how can you continue with your life and become better? You always hide your head in the sand like an ostrich, so when will you ever truly enjoy the sunshine? So face difficulties bravely, don't avoid them, and the way you work hard to solve them is beautiful.

Let's build confidence and believe in ourselves! When we avoid, we're really saying, "I don't believe it, I can't do it." The less confidence you have, the less initiative you'll have to solve problems. This means you'll only be afraid to face it, afraid to know the result, and afraid of the future path of life. But here's the thing: no matter how afraid you are, the result is what you think it will be. So it's really important to build confidence! If you want to change, you've got to broaden your horizons and enrich your cultural heritage. If you're well-informed, you'll be ready to take on a little difficulty. With confidence, you can move forward more courageously, and you'll conquer all your problems!

③: [Always give yourself positive suggestions] Absolutely! Positive suggestions will lead to positive psychological improvement!

Absolutely! Psychologists believe that subliminal messages come from a sense of self-awareness of a certain ability to be "independent and autonomous." Once a positive mood is established, it will form a special iron force that motivates us to change reality.

We can use short phrases to give ourselves positive and powerful suggestions. We can also use motivational pictures, books, mottos, celebrities, etc. as tools for positive self-suggestion. We can often watch inspirational films or books to regulate our emotions and persevere. You will find it useful to motivate yourself from time to time, telling yourself, "I'm great, I can do it, I believe in myself!"

Now for the fun part! Learn to communicate and cultivate your personality by effectively expressing what you want.

Cultivate your character and make it more complete! For example, if you want your girlfriend to keep you company, you can say, "XX, can you keep me company for a while? I'm feeling very down right now."

Or: I have some problems to deal with, and I'd love your help with them!

We'd love to hear your thoughts!

Euphemistically express what you want to say. We also have the amazing opportunity to improve our character and our personality, maintain our mental and personal independence, not rely on anyone, and learn how to solve problems when they arise. We can learn some psychological knowledge, read books on the Yi Xinli platform, help ourselves improve ourselves, and become a more complete person.

I really hope these comments are helpful to the questioner!