Are people who are overly self-centered and those who have lost themselves likely to easily establish relationships?

Good day. I have received your sincere question. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. There are numerous opportunities for establishing intimate relationships. Some individuals may form intimate relationships and interact with others for no apparent reason. What are the characteristics of those who are excessively self-centered?

Both individuals exhibit self-centered tendencies and perceive the world as revolving around them. This leads to a strong desire for control, prompting them to seek external assistance. They may display leadership-like behaviors in various contexts.

He will seek to exert control over his surroundings and ensure that everything serves his interests. This kind of energy will attract certain individuals to a certain extent, leading them to gravitate towards him. Let us now consider the other kind of person, namely, the one who has lost their sense of self. Individuals who have lost their sense of self typically lack well-developed personal views.

Their perspectives are primarily shaped by the extent to which they are motivated by external rewards and punishments, as well as by their inclination to comply with authority figures. Their personal character and moral development remain largely influenced by these factors. Additionally, due to their lack of self-awareness, they are often susceptible to external influences, particularly when it comes to making decisions.

Due to their lack of self-awareness, they experience difficulty in engaging in independent thinking and instead tend to seek explanations for events based on external factors. Consequently, when these two types of individuals interact, they can potentially benefit from one another. For instance, the self-obsessed individual may request assistance from the self-lacking person in performing various tasks.

Furthermore, the selfless person's lack of objective and selfless judgment results in their unwitting service to the overly self-centered person. These two types of individuals may form a relationship of control and being controlled, which is a mutual achievement. One person desires to control the other, and the other person is also willing to be controlled.

It is therefore unnecessary to dwell on this matter further. These individuals complement each other in terms of their lack of self, as the part they lack happens to be the part that others are strong in. A strong and weak person together form a kind of life, but this kind of life may ultimately lose its balance.

Given that individuals are engaged in a process of psychological development, it is not possible to assess someone in isolation and determine that they will remain fixed in a particular state for the remainder of their lives. To illustrate, an individual who is overly self-centered may eventually become disillusioned with the practice of controlling others and experience a loss of self-identity.

The individual may feel that they should live for themselves, that they will do something for themselves, that they have their own dreams, and that they have some personal freedom. However, this may result in the emergence of problems and arguments, which is also a possibility. Therefore, these two people, whose psychological development is not particularly healthy, can complement each other to some extent.

However, the manner in which they interact is not particularly healthy. This is because the relationship is based on a model of external acquisition, yet their inner values do not align completely. Ultimately, they will still encounter difficulties, which is a phenomenon worthy of reflection.

Prior to entering into an intimate relationship, it is essential to ascertain one's readiness, ascertain whether one has a secure attachment pattern, and ascertain whether one's personality is independent. Only through these steps can one maintain independence and intimacy with one's partner, thereby fostering a stronger relationship.

Please clarify.

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

What happens when someone self-absorbed forms a relationship with someone who has lost their sense of self?

I thought about it, and these two are a good match. Their personalities complement each other, just like a man and a woman working together.

Older marriages are influenced by traditional culture. Men are more dominant and used to having their way. Women are taught to be gentle and virtuous. One person wants to control, while the other wants to be controlled. They can accept each other's personas. Life can go well.

If the two people can get along is a metaphysical question.

Some people think self-centered people or people who have lost their sense of self are unhealthy. This is an external perspective. It compares an individual with social standards. There is no talk of health or unhealth. Even if someone is self-centered, they often don't feel that there is anything wrong with them. Others are willing to cooperate. Some parents who are highly controlling may feel isolated. They don't know it. They don't feel uncomfortable. It doesn't affect other people. Or if other people are willing to spoil them, it's okay.

It doesn't matter if it's healthy.

No one knows what will happen when these two types of people get together. It's possible that one wants to control the other, and they'll both be happy.

But the person who likes to control is self-centered. From a psychoanalytic point of view, this is the opposite of losing oneself. She may also like to be controlled. If she meets someone who is more controlling, she may go to the other extreme. And when she meets someone who has lost their self, she may hope that the other person will rebel a little.

There's no simple answer. People are complex, and it's hard to judge compatibility with just one label. You only know if it's a good match if you actually get along.

People change. What fits now may not fit in a few years. It may not be a good fit at first, but it will get better.

Don't limit yourself by labels. See everyone as both simple and complex. Adjust as you go, and pay attention to your feelings.

I am both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I try to be positive.

Hello, question asker! Your question is very interesting and is one that many people are confused about.

Each of us has our own unique personality and characteristics. Some people are approachable, while others are difficult to get close to. The relationship between the self-absorbed person and the self-effacing person you mentioned is a complex and worthwhile topic for discussion.

First, let's understand people with these two personality tendencies. People who are too self-centered pay more attention to their own needs and ideas and pay little attention to the feelings and needs of others.

The self-effacing person, on the other hand, may be overly accommodating and neglect their own true thoughts and feelings. These two seemingly opposite personality traits attract each other in certain situations.

The self-absorbed person will find in the self-effacing person a way to have their needs met. The self-effacing person will also find in the self-absorbed person a sense of being needed.

This kind of relationship is not healthy. They may initially feel that they complement each other, but in the long term, many problems will arise.

The overly self-centered person will become overly dependent on the loss of self-person's giving, while the loss of self-person will feel suppressed and bound, unable to truly express their needs and feelings. This pattern of getting along will inevitably lead to dissatisfaction on both sides, and even lead to conflicts.

They form relationships because they satisfy each other's psychological needs.

We all want to be understood and accepted, and these two personality tendencies satisfy each other's needs to some extent. People who are too self-centered believe that people who have lost their egos can understand and accept all their needs, while people who have lost their egos believe that people who are too self-centered can give them a sense of being valued.

It is crucial to understand that a healthy intimate relationship is based on mutual respect, understanding, and support. If both parties focus solely on their own needs and ignore the feelings and thoughts of the other person, the relationship is unlikely to last.

If you or someone close to you is facing this problem, I have some suggestions that will help. First, increase your self-awareness and understand your own needs and feelings. Also, respect and understand the needs and feelings of others.

Second, communicate your thoughts and feelings. Don't just accommodate or ignore them. Finally, seek professional psychological counseling to better handle this complex relationship.

The relationship between an overly self-centered person and a self-effacing person is a complex and interesting topic. They may be prone to forming relationships in some situations, but such relationships are not necessarily healthy or long-lasting.

It is essential to understand our own needs and feelings, as well as respect and understand the needs and feelings of others, in order to establish a healthy and stable intimate relationship.

An excellent question.

For your consideration, we offer the following reflection on the question of whether "egoists and selfless people are easy to get along with."

In everyday life, individuals who are overly self-centered typically seek attention and guidance, whereas those who are selfless are more inclined to comply with and assist others.

Consequently, in this context, they may fulfill each other's needs and establish a mutually dependent friendship, which also forms a complementary relationship with each other's strengths and needs.

Furthermore, the self-centered individual may be deficient in genuine listening and understanding due to their preoccupation with self-interest. Conversely, the self-forsaken person may offer such listening and support, thereby fostering a sense of understanding and acceptance in the self-centered person.

Conversely, the selfless individual may exhibit a lack of self-confidence and initiative, seeking guidance and decision-making input from the self-centered person. This allows for a mutually supportive dynamic within the friendship.

Although individuals who are excessively self-centered or have lost their sense of self may establish a mutually complementary and harmonious friendship, there are still inherent conflicts in their personalities and behaviors. It is not a simple process to "build a relationship," and it can only be achieved through mutual respect, understanding, and compromise.

For example, individuals who are overly self-centered typically prioritize their own needs and interests, frequently focusing on their own goals and objectives while disregarding the needs and emotions of others. In contrast, those who are selfless tend to prioritize the needs of others, often at the expense of their own interests.

If this difference is not understood, it may result in the over-selfish individual being perceived as selfish and uncaring, while the selfless person may experience feelings of being ignored or passive.

For instance, individuals who are excessively self-centered may demonstrate deficiencies in their capacity to listen to and comprehend the perspectives of others, exhibiting a proclivity to prioritize their own thoughts and opinions. Conversely, those who are selfless tend to evince a greater willingness to heed the emotional and necessitous expressions of others.

In the absence of respect for these differences, the self-centered person may be unable to comprehend and support others, while the self-forsaken person may feel misunderstood or unable to obtain support.

For instance, individuals who are excessively self-centered typically possess robust decision-making capabilities and a proclivity for asserting control over circumstances and articulating their perspectives. Conversely, those who exhibit a lack of self-centeredness may be more inclined to adhere to and implement the decisions of others, exhibiting a deficiency in initiative.

If this discrepancy is not effectively managed, it may result in disagreements and conflicts in decision-making processes.

In light of the aforementioned analysis, the following patterns may be observed in the interaction between individuals who are excessively self-centered and those who have lost their sense of self:

First, the model of dependence and care will be discussed.

Those who are excessively self-centered may require support and a willingness to listen from individuals who have lost themselves, while those who have lost themselves may require guidance and decision-making from those who are self-centered.

In their interactions, they provide care for one another, respect each other's feelings and needs, and maintain their friendship.

This establishes a relationship of mutual dependence and mutual care, wherein each party's needs are met.

Secondly, the model of complementing and learning is presented.

Those who are overly self-centered may excel in decision-making and leadership roles, while individuals who are less self-centered may demonstrate proficiency in support and understanding.

The two individuals in question serve to complement one another, each contributing their own unique strengths to the relationship. Collectively, they are better equipped to navigate challenges and problem-solve.

As a result of this process, they will gain insight from one another's strengths and approaches, gradually modify their behaviors and attitudes, and achieve mutual advancement and growth.

Secondly, the pattern of control and being controlled.

The self-centered person may attempt to exert control over the actions and decisions of the self-deprived person, who, due to a lack of self-confidence, may become entirely passive and allow the self-centered person to dominate.

This extreme model may result in feelings of deprivation of autonomy and dignity in the self-deprived person, which may in turn give rise to feelings of resentment and resistance.

Ultimately, the final pattern is that of neglect and conflict.

The self-centered person may disregard the needs and feelings of the self-forgetful person, focusing solely on their own interests and desires. Conversely, the self-forgetful person may become overly dependent on the self-centered person, losing their autonomy and independence.

This extreme model may result in the erosion of the self and the experience of emotional distress and loneliness, which can ultimately lead to the deterioration of long-term friendships.

Furthermore, when there is a discrepancy of opinion between an overly self-centered individual and a self-deprived individual, the latter may lack the autonomy to communicate effectively and respond in a constructive manner.

Due to the inherent differences in personality and behavior, a lack of genuine understanding and tolerance between two individuals can result in frequent conflicts and a breakdown in the friendship.

It is my hope that this will prove to be of some assistance.

The questioner is really lovely, and I feel like I know them after reading their words!

Even though the description is short, I can tell you're really interested in learning more. I bet you've already had some thoughts about it, which is why you brought it up on the platform!

Let's dive into this topic together!

You ask, "Is it easy for an overly self-centered person to form a relationship with someone who has lost their sense of self?" My personal opinion on this is that this is generally the case, but special circumstances cannot be ruled out, which makes it an exciting question!

First of all, in the description of "an overly self-centered person who is often self-centered," I would pay more attention to the word "often," because its presence indicates that the person may be in a "self-centered" state with some frequency, and is not always "self-centered." This is an excellent opportunity to delve deeper into the nuances of this individual's personality!

So, if I want to understand that person better, I'd love to ask you more about it! Specifically, how often do you think that person is in a state of self-centeredness?

Second, you ask, "Is it easy for someone who is overly self-centered and often self-absorbed to form a relationship with someone who has lost their sense of self?" This is a fascinating question! I'd love to understand more about how someone who sees this determines whether someone has "lost their sense of self."

I'm so excited to understand the details! After reading this question, I realized that I might be [labeling] people, which could make our perspective one-sided when looking at a person. So I can't give you an absolute response. At times like this, it's actually more appropriate to [discuss each situation separately], which is a great opportunity to learn more!

The first possible situation is an exciting one! It means that the person who is relatively self-centered will be slightly stronger than the other person's inner strength. With a strong inner strength, they may inspire the other person's self-confidence to a certain extent when they are together. This is what some partners have called "character complementarity" in their responses!

The second possible situation is just as fascinating! When the relatively self-centered party gets along with the other party, they may put a lot of pressure on them. This is because if the other party's sense of self-worth is in a state of self-worth depletion for a long time due to the collision with self-centeredness, it may cause the relationship between the two parties to grow further apart. This is because the self of one party has already caused the other party to withdraw in the relationship, which is a way of self-protection.

Therefore, I cannot give you a definite answer to the question "If they establish an intimate relationship, what will the pattern of getting along be like?" because there are so many possibilities for relationship patterns! Therefore, to find out what will happen if these two partners with habitual patterns establish an intimate relationship, I'm sure the perspective you come up with after observing and even experiencing it yourself will be more reliable.

I'm really excited for you to observe, perceive, and experience the answers you gain afterwards. This will help you gain a deeper understanding!

I really hope the above response will continue to inspire you to think about the establishment and management of relationships, and help you continue to gain healing, relaxed, comfortable, and harmonious relationships in your interpersonal relationships!

I really hope you're well! I'm looking forward to seeing you again if it's meant to be!

Hello, question asker! I'm a Heart Exploration coach.

I see the issues you've highlighted on the platform. Are you struggling in your personal relationships? Have you found a solution to the question you mentioned about building relationships with people who are too self-centered and people who have lost their sense of self?

Do you have the answers to these questions? Would you like to know if someone who is overly self-centered is likely to form a relationship with someone who has lost their sense of self?

It's interesting how two people with unhealthy psychological development can still easily establish a relationship. Have you ever wondered what kind of relationship will develop if they become intimate?

Is this happening around you? The truth is, you can build a relationship with anyone. Extremely self-centered and selfless people are two extremes that can actually complement each other, as long as the relationship is balanced and there aren't too many conflicts.

I'm here to help you analyze and sort things out.

1. Different problems require different solutions.

It's true that a very self-centered person has a hard time forming relationships. But that doesn't mean they don't have feelings. It's just that they're so focused on themselves that it's difficult for them to understand other people's emotions. They often hurt others' feelings without realizing it. They're always thinking about themselves and never consider others. So, I believe that a very self-centered person and a person with no self are two extremes. It's all about balance. If you want to connect with others emotionally, you have to try to change.

2. Mutual respect and understanding

It's tough to find a good relationship these days. In your daily life, you have to think about how your actions affect other people and try to see things from their perspective. People without an ego shouldn't try too hard to please others. Just have normal interactions. If you can understand and respect each other, you'll also become more rational and mature. When interacting with others, just find a balance. Don't be too self-centered, but also don't be without an ego. A very self-centered person and a person without an ego will definitely have a hard time in society because many people don't like this kind of person, and many people simply won't get along with such a person.

3. Be open and honest with each other.

You can be open with your friends about how you feel. Tell them what you think, what suggestions you have, or if you're uncomfortable or have other thoughts, you can share them. Let them know how much you value the friendship. Being open and honest in communication can be helpful. You can try to join in on the interactions with your friends. Take the initiative to participate in exchanges and activities. This can help you integrate better into the group and may also make your friends more aware of your goodwill.

4. Stay open-minded.

It's always best to keep an open mind. What other people do is their business, and you should just do what you need to do. It may be hard, but you need to try to stay calm and not worry too much about these things. Friendship is based on mutual respect and understanding. If you try to control your friends' behavior, it may make them feel stressed and uncomfortable. Being comfortable with each other is the most important thing. No matter which way you choose, you should always remember that friendship requires the joint efforts of both parties. If you feel that your friends don't respect you, or that the relationship is no longer healthy, you may need to seriously consider whether to continue the relationship.

I hope this helps. If you need to talk more, you can find me on my personal website. Just click on the Heart Exploration service and send me a message. Thanks, and have a great day!

For instance, one might consider the relationship between an individual who is overly self-centered (A) and a person who is self-neglecting (B). It is possible that A may have experienced a lack of parental attention and support during childhood, which could have contributed to the development of certain personality traits, including selfish, authoritarian, and controlling tendencies.

It is possible that Person B may have experienced a lack of affirmation and support during their childhood, which could have resulted in certain personality traits, such as a strong sense of dependency and a lack of self-confidence and independence.

When A and B meet and form an intimate relationship, they may find themselves attracted to and complementing each other. A may display controlling and self-centered behavior, which could be interpreted as a way of trying to dominate the relationship and satisfy their own needs.

B may also exhibit submissive and dependent behavior, seeking approval from others in an attempt to fill an inner sense of emptiness through reliance on others.

In such a relationship, A may feel dependent on and submissive to B, thereby satisfying their desire for control and their need for attention. At the same time, B may feel that they have found support and security in A and have received a certain degree of love and recognition.

It is possible that both partners may feel that they are satisfying each other's needs and have established a pattern of codependent relationships.

However, this relationship pattern is often unstable and unhealthy. It may be the case that A and B lack a genuine emotional connection and equal interaction, and that their relationship is based on each other's psychological problems and flaws.

It is possible that A may not fully acknowledge B's genuine needs and may prioritize their own interests and needs. Similarly, B may find themselves in a cycle of dependency, which may hinder their ability to fully develop their individuality. This kind of relationship may lack true equality, respect, and emotional empathy, which could potentially exacerbate the psychological problems of both parties and lead to further conflict and dissatisfaction.

It is possible that an intimate relationship based on unhealthy psychological development may originate from mutual attraction and complementarity between the two parties. People who are too self-centered may sometimes lack attention and respect for the outside world. They may sometimes show characteristics of selfishness, arbitrariness, and lack of empathy.

On the other hand, the individual who is lacking in self-confidence and self-identity may depend on others to fill an inner sense of emptiness. This complementary relationship may provide a sense of balance for both individuals, with the self-centered person receiving attention and compliance, while the self-depleted person finds a sense of dependence and support in the relationship.

In psychology, the match between personality traits and psychological needs is also an important factor affecting interpersonal relationships. People who are overly self-centered may have a strong desire for control and a tendency to be self-centered. This could result in a tendency to dominate the relationship and satisfy their own needs.

On the other hand, people who are self-denying may be more open to accommodating others in exchange for love and acceptance. This dynamic of mutually fulfilling each other's needs may form the basis of the relationship between the two, although this complementarity may be built on an unhealthy and unequal basis.

Psychological research also indicates that people often seek traits in their partners that are similar to those of their parents or primary caregivers. It is possible that overly self-centered individuals may have been overindulged or lacked attention in their parental or family environment, which could have resulted in the development of selfish and self-centered personality traits.

It is also possible that people who lack self-confidence may have lacked the experience of being affirmed and supported in their childhood, which could make them more likely to seek external recognition and dependence. Therefore, it is understandable that the two may find familiarity and a familiar pattern in each other, and thus establish a mutually attractive relationship pattern.

It is worth noting, however, that while two people with unhealthy psychological development may establish a mutually satisfying relationship, such a relationship is often unstable and unhealthy. It may lack genuine emotional empathy and be based on unequal interaction, which could result in unhealthy interaction patterns such as control, dependence, and emotional blackmail.

It is possible that this type of relationship may have an adverse effect on the psychological well-being of both parties, potentially leading to a vicious cycle.

It is possible that when two people with unhealthy psychological development enter into an intimate relationship, psychological principles and phenomena such as attachment theory and psychological reaction patterns may be involved.

Attachment theory suggests that early experiences of intimacy may have a significant impact on an individual's attachment style. It is possible that people who are overly self-centered may have lacked emotional support and attention during childhood, which could potentially lead them to develop an insecure or avoidant attachment style.

This attachment pattern may lead to a tendency to prioritize one's own needs and a reluctance to accept support and dependence from others. Conversely, individuals who have experienced a lack of autonomy and independence during childhood may develop an anxious or dependent attachment pattern.

This attachment pattern may make them more inclined to seek the company of others in order to fill an inner sense of emptiness.

In this relationship, the two people may establish intimacy by meeting each other's attachment needs. The overly self-centered person may seek to gain the dependence and compliance of the self-forgetting person, which could satisfy their desire for control and their need to be noticed.

The self-defeating person may find themselves relying on the overly self-centered person to fill their inner sense of emptiness and gain a sense of love and recognition. This pattern of interdependent and satisfying relationships may provide both people with a sense of security and satisfaction to a certain extent.

It is worth noting, however, that this pattern of relationship is often unhealthy and unstable. It appears that the attachment needs of both parties are not truly met, but rather based on the other person's flaws and psychological problems.

Those who are overly self-centered may find it challenging to truly care for and respect the needs of others. Similarly, individuals who are self-forsaken may remain stuck in a cycle of dependency, which can impede their ability to fully develop their individuality. When there is a lack of equality, respect, and genuine emotional connection in a relationship, it can exacerbate the psychological problems of both parties, leading to further conflict and dissatisfaction.

It would be beneficial for both parties to be aware of their psychological issues and to seek the guidance of a professional counselor. Through individual introspection and psychotherapy, they can gain a deeper understanding of their needs and motives, and learn healthier, more equal, and mature interaction patterns.

This may include developing self-awareness and a sense of self-worth, learning to form genuine emotional connections with others, and developing independence and autonomy. It is thought that only through inner growth and change can a healthy, stable, and satisfying intimate relationship be truly established.

The questioner may be overly self-centered and often self-centered, but they could still form a special bond with someone who has lost their sense of self. This relationship could be the result of a certain degree of psychological complementarity between them, allowing them to meet each other's needs in some ways.

While the overly self-centered person often expects everyone around them to do what they want, the self-effacing person may be more willing to compromise and accommodate others. This helps to maintain the relationship to a certain extent.

However, this relationship isn't based on healthy psychological development. It's based on each other's flaws and needs.

If they start dating, the dynamic of their relationship might become imbalanced and dependent. The overly self-centered person may start focusing more on their own needs, while the self-forsaken person may start ignoring their own feelings to meet the other person's needs.

This pattern of interaction could lead to further problems for both parties. For example, the overly self-centered person may become even more selfish and domineering, while the person who has lost their sense of self may feel even more depressed and powerless.

To improve this unhealthy pattern of coexistence, both parties need to grow psychologically and make adjustments. The overly self-centered person needs to learn to pay attention to the feelings and needs of others, cultivate empathy, and work on being more cooperative. The person who has lost their sense of self needs to regain their sense of value and dignity, and learn to express their opinions and needs.

Through mutual effort and communication, they can establish a healthier and more balanced relationship.

In a nutshell, while relationships can form between people who are overly self-centered and those who are self-neglecting, they aren't based on healthy psychological development. To improve their patterns of getting along with each other, both parties need to undergo psychological growth and adjustment to establish a healthier and more balanced relationship.