At 18, informed by parents that I am not biologically related, unsure of what to do?

Hello, question asker! I'm so happy to answer your question.

From what the questioner has told us, it's clear that they're going through a lot right now. I'm here to give the questioner a big hug and some much-needed strength.

I can only imagine how overwhelming it would be to find out you weren't born to your biological parents. There's so much information to take in! Trying to find out about your biological parents might make you realize you were abandoned by them, which would be a second injury.

It's so sad when the father's molestation or the mother's lover pounces on the question owner, making them feel extremely insecure. Even good interpersonal relationships can be lost in these situations. It's natural for the question owner to feel lonely, powerless, and overwhelmed by insecurity. It's like they're a baby in swaddling clothes, weak, lonely, and without anyone to take care of and keep them company!

The family should be a safe haven for us, but the questioner doesn't feel safe here. They're surrounded by people who try to infringe upon them and even ignore them mockingly. Growing up in such an environment, the questioner will feel a severe lack of security and trust and will be full of suspicion.

How can the questioner handle such a complex family situation? How can we move on from the influence of our original family? Since the question was asked on a platform, there are many details that we cannot go into, so I can only give the questioner some suggestions based on the question.

You can find the local women's federation or neighborhood committee in your area.

It's so hard when you're in an abusive situation at home. If your dad is hurting you again, please call the police and then get help from your local women's federation. It's so sad that you've been through this. I really think you should go to your federation or neighborhood committee for help. They can step in and see if your parents are still fit to be your guardians.

According to Article 36, Paragraph 1 of the Civil Code, if a guardian seriously harms the physical or mental health of the ward, the people's court shall revoke the guardian's qualification upon application by the relevant individual or organization, arrange necessary temporary guardianship measures, and appoint a guardian in accordance with the principle of what is best for the ward. So, as long as the questioner finds the local women's federation, they can stop being afraid, and they don't need to be afraid of being taken away to earn a bride price.

It's okay to express and share the pain inside.

If you later come to accept this experience of growing up, you can share it. You can write about it online, or you can tell your family and friends, or you can even talk to a counselor.

If you don't feel like talking to other people, you can also talk to your pets, plants, and dolls. They'll listen to you and love you no matter what!

If it's possible for you, I really think you should look for some professional psychological counseling. It would also be a great idea to find someone you can talk to about your feelings. I think you'll find that just talking about your feelings can help you to feel better. When you're talking to your parents, it's really important to say how you feel. From what you've told me, it seems like your dad holds back when you talk to him, so you should try not to hold back.

It's so important to learn to accept yourself, and to find the resources you need to support yourself.

I really feel for this young lady. It's so sad to see that she was molested by her father when she was just a little girl. And her mother's lover also had impure thoughts about her. It's so unfair that her parents didn't protect her better. It's no wonder she feels insecure and lacks confidence.

When you're feeling down, it's important to do something that makes you feel good. Treat yourself to something sweet! Sweet things make you feel happy, and they're also good for your body.

It's so important to make yourself happy without hurting others. Don't let negative emotions fill your life.

It's so important to seek help from the resources around you, such as the local women's federation, local neighborhood committee or street office. You could even ask for help from your class teacher, teachers and classmates. The more people who stand behind you and support you, the less likely your father will be to lay hands on you again.

It's really tough growing up in a family like that. It might take a lot of psychotherapy for the person asking the question to slowly come out of the shadow. It's so important for them to rebuild their family relationships and be nurtured by their own parents again.

I truly believe that tomorrow will be better, no matter what. You've got this! Find the strength to grow from within yourself. I have no doubt that the questioner will come out of it, fearlessly braving the storm and moving forward.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Dear Questioner,

After reviewing your inquiry and the details you provided, I empathize with your situation and wish to offer some insights for your consideration. I will present a few perspectives below, with the hope that they will prove beneficial.

[1] From your inquiry, it appears that you are particularly invested in determining whether you are a biological child. It is understandable that anyone who discovers they are not a biological child may initially struggle to come to terms with this information. This is a common response among individuals in such circumstances.

The question of whether we truly care about being adopted is complex. It is often accompanied by a sense of shame and self-denial, which can manifest as feelings of inferiority, sadness, and worthlessness. This is often coupled with the sarcasm and rejection experienced from our parents. From a traditional perspective, not being biological is often associated with disgust. This includes the rejection of biological parents, the preference for male children, and the passing on of the bloodline. People with these systems of disgust often believe they are inferior. This can extend to a lack of self-worth and a perception of being undeserving of love and a good life. These beliefs are shaped by self-concepts and are not necessarily influenced by the views of others. Self-concepts can lead to actions and, subsequently, to a range of outcomes.

It is therefore necessary to challenge traditional concepts. For example, the individual may believe that they are a girl, that they deserve to be loved, that the opinions of others are not useful, that they have the right to decide everything themselves, that their parents do not love them, and that they must therefore love themselves, learn to please themselves, put their feelings first, say no to any behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable, fight back, and, if they are hit, learn to fight back. They may also believe that other people's opinions and behaviours have nothing to do with them, that they are only responsible for themselves, that they should cultivate their independence, their spiritual independence, their personality independence, and, later, their economic independence. They may also believe that reading is the right thing to do and that working hard to complete one's studies is the really important thing right now.

The fact that you are not their biological child seems to be causing you a significant amount of distress, which is why you are skipping classes and dropping out of school, under the assumption that your parents do not love you. However, even if you are not their biological child, they still love you. For example, when you are sick, they provide you with medicine or other forms of care. You may not be aware of this, but it is there. It is important to learn to recognize and find the love. It is possible that the love your parents give you is not as abundant as the love they give your younger brother, but it is essential to understand that we can also give ourselves love, love ourselves, and be responsible for ourselves. From the moment we become independent, we become responsible for our own lives, rather than relying on our parents to be responsible for us. The questioner is already 18 years old, so they can consider whether they want to pursue further studies or continue to be apathetic. What has happened in the past is already in the past, and it is meaningless to be attached to it.

[3] Regardless of the actions of adoptive parents, children have already reached adulthood. The question of biological versus adoptive parents is ultimately a personal one. It is this author's opinion that parents, regardless of biological connection, raise children, and that despite the possibility of negative experiences, children continue to develop. It is necessary to accept reality and move forward independently.

It is evident that a considerable number of children, including those who are biologically related to their parents, have endured unfavorable experiences. However, these experiences have often gone unnoticed.

[4] It is imperative to enhance one's self-confidence, attend to one's own feelings, cultivate self-love, and learn to utilize legal resources to safeguard one's well-being. In response to the father's frequent acts of touching and feeling towards the child, it is crucial to express a clear and unwavering refusal. In the event that the other party attempts to force their will upon us, it is vital to preserve evidence and consider calling the police. It is not within our purview to interfere with our mother's infidelity. Our sole responsibility is to maintain control over our own affairs. It is unwise to dwell on the past. We can seek assistance from the field of Yi Psychology, utilize the listening room, or acquire knowledge in psychology and engage in various forms of therapy, including writing therapy, meditation therapy, and more, on the platform to gain insight into our multifaceted emotions, identify their underlying causes, record them in a systematic manner, address them in a timely manner, and ultimately become a more self-actualized individual.

I hope this does not cause any distress to the original poster. It is my sincere hope that it will be of some assistance.

As an adult, you have already accumulated a significant amount of information, which can be overwhelming. Additionally, your family relationships appear to be complex. You are not a biological child, having been abandoned by a particular set of parents. This sense of abandonment may significantly impact your confidence.

Given the generally poor quality of the family relationship and the apparent absence of the kind of blood connection that might otherwise provide a basis for ongoing communication, the situation is particularly painful. Despite the occurrence of multiple breakdowns, your younger brother's demeanor seems to offer little comfort, with sarcasm being the predominant response.

Your current father has not treated you with respect, and there have been instances of disrespectful behavior. This may have an adverse effect on your mental well-being, and your mother's partner also appears to have a history of questionable actions, potentially exposing you to traumatic experiences.

You have experienced a range of challenging situations, including humiliation, insults, physical abuse, neglect, lack of love and affection, poor interpersonal relationships, anxiety, and nervousness. Additionally, you have resorted to feigning illness to skip classes. These experiences have led you to perceive your character as fragile and selfish.

It is recommended that you communicate with the platform's psychological counselors to release your sadness and pain in a suitable way. As an adult, you have the autonomy to plan for your future and consider your personal goals. You are not your brother's bride price. Seeking guidance from a psychological counselor is an option you have at your disposal. Best wishes.

Please advise.