Can one not easily accept themselves when they encounter unfavorable aspects in the imagined enemy?

Dear questioner, I'm so excited to answer your question!

The so-called "imaginary enemy" is actually a projection of one's relationship with oneself. The appearance of the other party obviously shows that they are better than oneself in some ways, which makes one feel inferior and regard the other party as an enemy, rather than looking up to them. But there's a way to turn this around! If we don't let go of the things we don't like about ourselves, this is what the original poster means by not accepting oneself. We always want to be perfect and can't accept our own shortcomings, which makes it difficult to accept ourselves. But there's a better way! The appearance of the other party will only make oneself feel annoyed, and even develop an unfriendly attitude. This is a phenomenon that most people who don't accept themselves will have. But there's a solution! If one doesn't do well enough and sees that the other party is better than oneself, one will look down on oneself, unable to accept one's own shortcomings, and become disgusted with the other party, even thinking that there is something wrong with the other party. But there's a better way! This will lead to constant problems in interpersonal relationships. But there's a solution!

Humans are social animals. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, relationships with other people are actually relationships with ourselves. This is like looking in a mirror! Li Shimin said it best: "If you use bronze as a mirror, you can straighten your clothes and your hat; if you use the past as a mirror, you can know the rise and fall of dynasties; if you use people as a mirror, you can see your gains and losses." Through the mirror of other people, we can see our own inadequacies and shortcomings. These are our own problems, not the problem of the mirror. If we can always remind ourselves to treat other people as mirrors and remind ourselves to correct our shortcomings, we will have the introspection and courage to bravely correct our mistakes.

When you use the other person as a mirror to reflect on yourself, you are actually accepting yourself! You'll no longer complain or look down on yourself. You'll then learn to correct and amend yourself. Life needs to be constantly amended, and this requires us to have the ability to reflect on ourselves and to grow, learn, and correct ourselves constantly. This also means truly accepting ourselves!

I really hope this helps the questioner!

Hello!

I'm not sure how old the original poster is, but I'm here to help!

The questioner knows that he has created an "imaginary enemy" without realizing it. He can still think clearly about the situation, but he has a hard time accepting his own and the other person's strengths and the pain that comes with them. Is this the best way to resolve emotional problems?

It's so important to understand who the "enemy" really is and to recognize the facts.

We all have those imaginary enemies in life, don't we? They can be divided into two categories: obvious and hidden competitive relationships. Usually, the obvious situation occurs when a group pursuing the same goal unconsciously sets up an "imaginary enemy" due to a sense of disparity. The less obvious situation occurs when the exact goal cannot be seen clearly, but an unconscious competitive relationship is still formed unconsciously.

For instance, some folks might engage in a bit of friendly competition when comparing academic performance between classmates. Even if the person involved doesn't care, they might still find themselves unconsciously not wanting to hear about the advantages and disadvantages of "other people's children." This can lead to a bit of a secret competition between them, which isn't necessarily a bad thing!

It's so sad when a relationship like this is unhealthy and competitive. It would be great if the original family could help by giving lots of love and support to help them build up their self-confidence.

Hidden competitive relationships are even more complicated and difficult. They usually occur between adults, who, having already become adults, have already established their understanding and knowledge of the world and its laws. Therefore, they will not overtly display their individuality to strive for their goals, but will choose to compete in a way that avoids risks and "seeks benefits and avoids harm." However, due to the wrong starting point, the imaginary enemy is taken as the starting point, which itself distorts the goal, so it is often prone to cognitive errors.

Take the complex relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a family, for example. It's so easy for this to unconsciously point the finger of blame at the problem, with both sides competing for power and self-esteem. It's all a result of a distorted perception of the role relationships.

How can you be your best self and accept yourself, sweetheart?

^Take a deep breath and look at the situation from a new perspective.

If you're facing a challenge, it's best not to have any fixed ideas about how capable you are. After all, personal growth is a long-term journey. Jumping to conclusions at the start can put a lot of pressure on you. Breaking through that pressure takes energy, which can slow you down. It's important to remember that negative thinking won't help and might even cause problems.

It's totally normal to have different strengths and weaknesses. There's no need to compare yourself to others. Just learn from the methods that can help you grow. This is the attitude to learning. At the same time, keep developing yourself. Know that your strengths will also attract the envy of others. Treat each other's differences with kindness and understanding.

Be grateful for yourself, and accept yourself just as you are.

If you haven't faced any big challenges, it's tough to inspire a sense of gratitude. Otherwise, you probably wouldn't complain about your current situation. But here's the thing: there are always people in life who are better than you and people who are weaker than you. And that's okay! It's not because you're better than them, but because of the environment you're in, the information you have access to, and the resources you have at your disposal.

It's important to remember that the resources you enjoy now have also been obtained through the hard work of others. Be grateful for what you have and encourage yourself. If you're dedicated enough, you'll be able to live up to yourself and meet life's expectations. With this healthy mindset, your development will also improve day by day.

Take a moment to reflect and find a better perspective. It's okay to feel a range of emotions, but try to balance them out.

In a series of short videos edited with positive energy, we often see different outstanding people. They're really inspiring! They shine with light, yet remain humble. They make others envious. Some people secretly resolve to set goals and improve themselves after seeing them. Others, after seeing them, feel the gap with themselves and feel even more inferior, and their emotions are stirred.

It can be tricky to see things clearly sometimes, but if you take a step back and look at the big picture, things tend to make more sense. Those who are good at it always adopt a wide-angle thinking, look at themselves, improve themselves, balance their emotions in time, and develop themselves.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

After reading your description, I believe that learning and practicing self-acceptance could be beneficial for you. Regarding the imaginary enemy, I think it might be helpful to approach comparisons in a constructive way.

Perhaps we could begin by discussing self-acceptance.

It could be said that self-acceptance is the foundation of self-confidence and self-transformation. Many negative experiences, such as anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and personality disorders, may be caused by a lack of self-acceptance, as well as a sense of shame.

Self-acceptance can be defined as an individual's positive attitude towards oneself and one's own characteristics. It involves being able to readily accept one's own real situation, without being proud of one's own strengths or feeling inferior because of one's own weaknesses. Additionally, self-acceptance is a right that people are born with.

A person does not necessarily have to have outstanding merits, achievements, or make changes that others hope for in order to be accepted.

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, a healthy person should be able to accept themselves and human nature without being upset or complaining about it. We can live well with our shortcomings and flaws.

To accept oneself is to understand one's position, one's needs, one's wants, and one's abilities.

Accepting oneself entails maintaining composure and patience in the face of imperfections, while nurturing the belief that one can continue to grow and improve in reality.

Accepting oneself means appreciating one's own qualities, respecting oneself and others, recognizing the differences between oneself and others, and recognizing that one's life is a unique journey. Even without external validation, one can have a sense of self-acceptance.

When we accept ourselves, we recognize that mistakes are an inevitable part of life and that they do not define us as individuals. We allow ourselves the freedom to make mistakes, understanding that they can serve as stepping stones for personal growth.

To accept oneself is to accept all the real phenomena in life, to be neither subjective nor bigoted, and to neither be arrogant nor humble.

As the renowned quote by Romain Rolland suggests, there is a kind of heroism that arises from loving life after one has gained a deeper understanding of its truths.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for us to love ourselves after seeing ourselves clearly.

It could be said that self-acceptance is based on self-understanding.

People may find that they can achieve self-acceptance when they understand their own strengths and weaknesses and are still satisfied with this real, holistic self.

When self-acceptance is based on a true understanding of oneself, it often brings confidence and self-esteem. Conversely, it can lead to feelings of arrogance and conceit, and in the face of failure, it can result in a sense of extreme inferiority and a loss of confidence in life.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what the self actually is.

Psychology offers a definition of the self as an individual's perception of their state, including their cognitive evaluation of their physical and psychological states, interpersonal relationships, and social roles.

It would be beneficial to first gain a deeper understanding of oneself before attempting to accept oneself fully. This would involve identifying one's needs, values, aspirations, and strengths and weaknesses.

It may be helpful to consider that only when you see an objective, true, comprehensive, and complete self can you reasonably position yourself and make positive changes based on accepting yourself.

How might one achieve self-acceptance?

It can be challenging to accept ourselves for a number of reasons, including our experiences of being rejected and criticized during our growth and development. Over time, these experiences can shape our beliefs and behaviors, leading to a pattern of self-rejection and self-criticism. When we encounter challenges or perceive shortcomings in ourselves, it's natural for a voice in our hearts to emerge, offering criticism and rejection.

It is worth noting that self-acceptance is a skill that requires practice. I have personally found that it took me a long time to gradually improve my level of self-acceptance, and I still find it challenging to fully accept myself. However, from my own experience, I have observed that the more we accept ourselves, the more confident we become, the more motivated we are to change, and our state of mind continues to improve.

It may be helpful to view self-acceptance as a skill that can be developed through daily practice.

We would like to suggest five ways to cultivate self-acceptance, as revealed by clinical psychologists.

1. Consider setting the goal of self-acceptance within

"Self-acceptance begins with intention," says psychologist Jeffrey Zimbardo. "It's important that we set a goal for ourselves to transform a world of blame, doubt, and shame into one of inclusion, acceptance, and trust." This idea acknowledges that self-loathing may not be the most fulfilling way to live.

Sambur suggests that if we set the goal of a self-accepting life, we may find ourselves adapting to a more peaceful existence.

2. Consider recording your strengths.

It may be helpful to write down one of your strengths every day, affirm your value, and see your strengths. This could help you to discover your strengths. Playing to your strengths may also give you more confidence than correcting your weaknesses.

In today's world, our weaknesses can often be compensated for through cooperation, and our strengths reflect our unique value.

3. It may be helpful to seek support from relationships.

It may be helpful to spend time with people who make you feel comfortable, who give you unconditional acceptance, support, and love, and who can help you to establish a supportive relationship that will make you feel more stable, peaceful, and joyful.

4. Consider engaging in a dialogue with your best self.

Perhaps it would be helpful to imagine interacting with your best self. You could imagine that best self of yours stepping out of your body and watching your current situation or circumstance. What would it suggest you do?

This visual separation may help you to detach from your current self and facilitate healing by allowing you to connect with your inner wisdom and best self.

This exercise offers guidance on how to be the best parents we can be and show compassion and love for ourselves. You may find it helpful to take a few minutes to meditate and do this exercise when you are in crisis or need guidance or self-comfort.

5. Consider acting out what you want to be like until you actually become it.

If you have doubts about your own value, it may be helpful to start by giving yourself value and holding onto that belief. Once we can unconditionally approve of ourselves, it becomes easier to forgive our mistakes and let go of the need for approval from others.

We all make mistakes, and we all have our own unique identities. It's important to remember that our identities are not defined by our mistakes.

When we lack something within, we may look for it outside. If we cannot accept ourselves, we may especially long for acceptance from others. However, everything in the outside world is subject to change. Therefore, seeking inwardly may be a way to gain more stable acceptance. When we have achieved self-acceptance, we may find that we care less about the approval and evaluation of others, and we can gain true inner freedom.

I wonder if I might draw your attention to the part about "imaginary enemies."

I believe the reason it bothers you is because we are comparing ourselves to others.

It is perhaps inevitable that as we get closer to someone, whether a good friend or otherwise, we will find ourselves comparing ourselves to them. This can sometimes result in feelings of jealousy or even a sense of looking down on others.

It may be said that without comparison, there is no harm.

Once we start comparing, we may realize that we are not as good as others in many ways, which could potentially lead to a sense of inferiority. Additionally, when people look at others, they often tend to pay more attention to their strengths and may sometimes overlook their weaknesses, which could contribute to feelings of inadequacy.

Sometimes, they even find themselves constantly comparing the advantages of others with their own disadvantages. This kind of comparison may inadvertently contribute to feelings of inferiority and anxiety.

Have you ever considered that many children are often quite happy? It could be that this is because they don't compare themselves with others.

They tend to feel that they have their own good points and that others also have their own praiseworthy qualities. They don't see a contradiction between their own good points and those of others. They can enjoy the praise others give them and at the same time applaud the good qualities of others.

So, it would be interesting to understand why, as we grow up, many of us seem to lose this ability. When we see others succeed, we don't always cheer for them, and sometimes we even feel jealous or inferior.

This phenomenon is actually quite complex and cannot be explained simply, as people themselves are complex beings. Coupled with differences in living environments and experiences during growth, many of our behaviors and thoughts will change.

1. Human nature has the capacity to embrace kindness and appreciation for others, regardless of differences.

It could be said that children are willing to applaud others because there is a kind part of human nature. When we praise and applaud others, our bodies secrete dopamine, which makes us feel happy.

It may therefore be surmised that genes encourage us to appreciate and help each other, which is beneficial to our evolution. As everyone has their own flaws, it is surely beneficial to cooperate with others in order to overcome difficulties and defeat the beast.

2. Human nature also has a less noble aspect, namely a competitive one.

Darwin's theory of evolution suggests that the fittest may survive. It seems that if we don't compete and compare, we may find it challenging to thrive.

As we mature, we often find ourselves in a world where competition and comparison are prevalent. It's not uncommon to feel a sense of inadequacy or even threat when we observe others excelling.

This is a normal part of human nature, but it's important to remember that we can make different choices.

I hope we can all try to let go of comparisons and focus on being the best version of ourselves.

It is understandable that adults may feel anxious about the issue of comparison. It is not uncommon for us to feel a sense of inferiority when we observe the strengths of others, which can make it challenging for us to offer praise.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to view comparisons as a child might, and to recognize that another's strengths do not diminish our own. He may excel in this area, but I also have my own talents and abilities.

I believe that my good things are not gone just because of his good things.

I believe that we are all unique individuals with our own strengths and qualities. She has her own shining points, and I have mine.

I believe that each of us comes into this world with our own unique mission. It is important to find our place and enjoy the journey of life in our own position, while also shining our own light and cheering for the bright lives of others.

It might be said that we can also gain insight into ourselves through the feelings of jealousy that can result from comparison.

It may be the case that, having grown up in a family where comparisons were made between children, we are fearful of others excelling and of not being approved by our parents.

It could be said that jealousy reflects one's inner desires. It may be possible to gain insight into one's aspirations by considering what one envies in others.

When you feel jealous of someone, it might be helpful to consider what it is about them that you admire. This could be a sign of what you would like to develop in yourself.

It may also be helpful to consider whether your feelings of jealousy extend to more than one person. When you reflect on the characteristics you admire in these individuals, you may find that they share certain similarities. This could indicate that the trait you value the most is the one you want to cultivate in yourself.

It may be helpful to consider that your feelings of jealousy may not be about other people, but rather about some inner deficiencies that you may have, which may be manifested in other people.

It is important to remember not to be afraid and to allow yourself the space to feel it.

It would be beneficial to then go and discover the part of yourself that is missing, the part that you long for within yourself.

It would be beneficial to take action to make up for these deficiencies and work towards the direction you want to go.

When you take action, when you no longer feel that lack inside, and when you get closer and closer to the person you want to be, it is possible that jealousy will naturally disappear.

It will undoubtedly take time, but if you believe in yourself and persevere, you will undoubtedly succeed. Best of luck to you!

Best of luck to you! I'm rooting for you.

The iron gate has a lot of rust on it, and you can see that it has been worn down by time. We may also experience various internal conflicts as time goes on, such as an imaginary enemy within. The appearance of this enemy will make you feel uncomfortable.

It's natural to feel disappointed in life, especially when you can't accept some of the things that happen to you. It's like losing two out of five games today and feeling pretty uncomfortable.

You feel like doing something new, breaking out of your comfort zone, not allowing yourself to fail too much, just wanting to build a path to success, just wanting the experience of success and perfection. But if you keep walking by the river, how can you not get your shoes wet?

There will always be things that make you feel unsatisfied with yourself. This can make you feel very conflicted, wondering why you can't calm down and enjoy your life more.

Maybe you've hit a few roadblocks along the way as you've been trying to become a better version of yourself. It's normal to feel some discomfort and have a few worries. If you need some guidance, it might be helpful to seek out some psychological counseling or just allow yourself to have some honest conversations with yourself about your journey.

ZQ?