Cannot appreciate the correct method of Guzheng playing; is this avoidance and an excuse?

You've been learning this instrument for a long time, and it's a pretty unique one. A favorite instrument can purify the soul and benefit all living beings. You've already invested so much, and quitting may make you pay a sunk cost.

You suddenly don't appreciate the correct way of playing the guzheng. Maybe this is really what you think. In fact, many correct ways of playing have been firmly recorded by predecessors, and they aren't necessarily the best way of playing. However, we do need to learn the standard way of playing in the early stages.

Once you've become really proficient, you can start adding your own personal touches to your playing. This will help your guzheng reflect your inner thoughts and values. This might not seem like rebellion or avoidance, but it's simply a different attitude that each person has when facing authority.

The world is full of all kinds of authorities, and it seems that we can only follow the path that is considered the most correct. No matter what the situation is, it's best not to give up halfway through learning a skill or ability. Even if in the future you still don't like it or appreciate it for whatever reason,

If you're still not happy, it might be worth thinking about switching to another instrument or trying out a different approach like fusion playing. If you're feeling stuck, it could be helpful to chat with a coach or listener to help you work through your feelings.

ZQ?

Hello question asker!

Is your mother's disagreement the reason for your discomfort, or is it because you don't like the sound of the guzheng?

How did you feel before you started playing the guzheng? How far have you progressed?

Do you like the guzheng? This is important. Do you like it, or are you tired of talking about it?

It's important to remember that when we learn new skills, we might feel tired and have doubts. But after a while, we'll improve.

Secondly, the questioner describes how after communicating with her mother, her mother's lack of understanding made you feel bad, which is normal. When we are confused, the approval of others can make us feel a little better.

Is this what the original poster wants? To gain her mother's approval and understanding?

Your mother's lack of understanding makes you irritable.

I think you and your mother are both right.

You are the real operator, and you may experience periods of fatigue, confusion, etc. It's the same as if we keep writing a character, and the more we write, the less it looks like the character.

Your mother is there for you as a companion, an observer, and a person who is waiting expectantly. She wants to lay a good foundation for you so that you can become a master and create your own rhythm. She hasn't considered your feelings or your inner expectations.

If a miracle happens and you are no longer suffering, what did you do to make it happen?

What do you want? Will you feel different when you get it?

What do you think, OP?

I have some suggestions for the questioner that I hope will help.

Readjust your mindset.

A positive attitude makes life better. When you're confused, take a break and do something else. Try deep breathing, exercise, or travel.

② Self-psychological suggestion

Strengthen yourself mentally in a positive way. Don't give up when you encounter difficulties.

Tell yourself you can do it, you're great, you can do better. Repeat confident words to yourself to improve your self-confidence.

Psychological research backs this up.

③ Believe in the power of accumulation.

No matter how big the stone is, it cannot stop the seed from sprouting. Once the seed starts to sprout, it will never stop growing. Everyone knows that a drop of water can wear through a stone, but no one believes it. Those at the starting point are like a cell or a drop of water, but most people believe or hope that they are strong and sharp from the start.

Learn patience and wait for the benefits and strength that come with long-term accumulation.

④ Respect your feelings and accept others' opinions.

Your feelings are yours. They are not wrong just because other people don't agree with them. It's also important to accept other people's opinions. We can't fully understand each other, so we can't expect others to fully understand our feelings. It's rare to feel the same way because we all have our own experiences and wounds.

There is no absolute right or wrong. Your feelings are not wrong. You just haven't found a breakthrough yet.

Trust your feelings, listen to your mother, gain experience, and prepare for the future.

Believe in yourself.

Dear,

If I may enquire, at this stage, do you have a favorite instrument? I would be very interested to hear your thoughts and opinions on music.

It might be helpful to consider both of these aspects as part of a process of self-awareness and discussion with your mother.

While each instrument has its own distinctive qualities, after eight years of learning, the guzheng has provided a solid foundation in musical theory and knowledge. Regardless of the instrument you choose to play in the future, your dedication and hard work will be worthwhile and will not be in vain.

As children, we were still learning about our own preferences and abilities. Over time, we gained experience and achieved certain results. We persisted for many years, and now, when we find something particularly interesting or passionate, we can make corresponding adjustments. The foundation we have built and the experience we have gained will serve us well.

On the other hand, have you been under a lot of pressure recently? It's understandable that you might have a resistance and rebellious mentality towards the sound of the guzheng as a result.

I also observed how much my mother had always cared about me and my studies, and how much she had always been there for me, accompanying me as I diligently practiced, never slacking off in my studies or in my life.

I believe it's important to remember that everyone needs a break sometimes, even adults at work. It's natural to feel tired and worn out after a long day, and children are no exception. They may crave a little more freedom and relaxation, and it's understandable to want to escape the pressures of learning.

It may be helpful to consider that learning also requires relaxation, and that persistence is important, as is moderate relaxation and allowance.

In this situation, it seems that you may be trying to convey a few things. Firstly, you seem to want your mother to recognize that her primary concern is not just about your learning the guzheng, but also about your emotional well-being as a person. Secondly, you may want her to prioritize your needs over things related to your studies.

If you're open to it, you can talk to your parents about your thoughts, needs, and feelings.

Parents may play a more significant role in our development and self-growth, encouraging us to work harder, be more diligent, and pursue a broader range of knowledge, skills, and interests. This can help us build a skill set for the future and establish a foundation for success. However, from the perspective of children, it can be challenging to balance the pursuit of diverse skills and interests with the need for focus and dedication. When the skills and interests we learn do not align with our personal aspirations, it can lead to feelings of frustration and a lack of motivation.

I believe there is also more hope for learning about interpersonal relationships and various other aspects of life. I hope that parents can pay more attention to their own feelings and not focus all their energy on things that have nothing to do with me or those outside of me. Perhaps we can promptly express our thoughts and needs, express our feelings, and tell our parents what we expect from them and how we want them to do it.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how they feel, what emotions they bring up in us, and what our own thoughts on the matter might be.

Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss all of this with your parents.

I believe that every parent aspires to gain a deeper understanding of their child, to play a more active role in their growth, and to contribute to their happiness and well-being.

It is natural for us to rebel against our parents' decisions and to develop our own ideas. We have grown up, gained independence, and developed our own independent thinking and opinions. This is an important process. As we grow, it is beneficial for parents to gradually let go. This involves a transition from parents making most decisions to a point where we make our own choices, with parents participating and then fully letting go.

Our rebellion also has a meaning. It is part of our gradual integration of the self, and it is also preparing us to slowly and independently take responsibility for our own lives and livelihoods.

I believe it is also a very rewarding experience for parents to witness their children growing up and gradually becoming more independent.

I am grateful for your confidence and invitation.

The issue appears to be a conflict between one's own interests and one's mother's views. In the case of the poster, this has resulted in internal conflict. This is a prevalent challenge among individuals and mother-daughter dyads, manifesting in varying degrees and stages, and influenced by the age of the individual in question.

The age of the host is an important factor to consider. Adolescence, which can span from the early stage (ages 10-18) to the late stage (ages 19-20), is a period of significant psychological development. During this time, adolescents may engage in a battle of interests and concepts, often mixed with the construction of values, and a power struggle over who gets to decide "my life." Adolescence is an important developmental task of "identity," and as such, it is a struggle, even an ordeal, to further fight for one's rights, take a step back to negotiate, compromise, or not compromise, advance and retreat, and in the process stabilize one's values and outlook on life, separate from one's parents' concepts and become independent, while still maintaining an intimate relationship. This process requires many times of facing the ordeal of communication.

It is of the utmost importance to establish the concept of separation while maintaining an intimate and stable relationship. This is also an important factor for parents to consider in order to achieve peace of mind. If there are difficulties in clarifying one's wishes or if there are differences in opinion with the mother that lead to obstacles and blockages, and there is no communication or even if the situation does not ease up after a period of time, it may mean that outside intervention is needed. This is something that parents need to be aware of as well.

Should an adult daughter (not exclusively daughters) encounter such circumstances, it may signify that the adolescent phase has not been completed independently and that the individual has become estranged. In such cases, difficulties may arise in selecting a marital partner in subsequent stages of life. In the event that the situation remains unresolved and the internal distress is challenging to assuage, it is still advised to seek the assistance of psychological counseling to navigate this phase.

Good morning, My name is Pei Lu.

Firstly, I would like to extend my sympathies to you.

After eight years of learning, the subject is experiencing resistance to further study of the guzheng.

I had a difference of opinion with my mother.

Data interpretation

The individual in question has been engaged in guzheng studies for approximately eight years. However, he has recently undergone a shift in his appreciation for the instrument. He now believes that he cannot fully appreciate the original, loud and harsh sound of the guzheng. Instead, he prefers to play it softly, creating his own style. This approach, however, is in conflict with his mother's opinion that he should master the basic skills.

From your statements, it is evident that you have recently developed a slight resistance to the guzheng. Additionally, you appear to feel aggrieved and confused when your mother requests that you reflect on yourself.

The reason for this is as follows:

The questioner has demonstrated remarkable perseverance in pursuing piano proficiency over an eight-year period. This achievement reflects a significant investment of time and effort. While I have not engaged in piano training to the same extent, I did undertake a brief ocarina course for recreational purposes.

In my view, appreciation of music is comparable to appreciation of other works of art, and is ultimately subjective. As Shakespeare famously observed, "There are a thousand Hamlets in the eyes of a thousand readers."

It is therefore understandable that you have developed your own unique perspective after a long period of immersion.

Mastering a musical instrument requires overcoming numerous challenges. The majority of musical instruments necessitate the acquisition of fundamental skills and the development of diverse techniques.

It is challenging to maintain interest in repetitive and tedious practice. The loss of interest and novelty can lead to feelings of fatigue and boredom. You may also experience a "bottleneck period" during the process, which can be difficult to overcome. I am curious if these difficulties have also indirectly affected your views on the guzheng.

I would like to offer you some personal advice.

Identify your original objective.

Consider your initial motivation and objective for learning the guzheng. Are you pursuing a professional career, or is it simply a hobby?

I believe that regardless of your chosen path, fundamental skills are essential. It is important to recognise that the perspective of appreciation and the level of technical mastery are not equivalent, and to differentiate between them.

Please share your ideas.

Your perspective may be limited, but there are now many forums and platforms, both online and offline, where you can exchange ideas and feelings with fellow zither players. Additionally, you can seek guidance and assistance from your teacher.

I believe your mother's advice is well-intentioned, but she may not fully understand your perspective due to her lack of first-hand experience.

Please continue to practice.

As the adage goes, "Ten years of hard work behind the scenes for one minute on stage." I am of the opinion that practicing a musical instrument is also a means of cultivating one's character and personal growth.

Life will present many challenges, just as the process of practicing a musical instrument may encounter bottlenecks and setbacks. Only by having a strong belief in your abilities and persevering through the difficult times can you become stronger and eventually achieve success.

Take ownership of your own development.

Every renowned expert has their own distinctive expertise, but none of them can be separated from effective techniques and dedicated effort. Each step of their pursuit on the professional journey illuminates the way for those who follow in their footsteps.

I hope you will remain grounded and take one step at a time towards your own "master's path."

?

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I really understand your dilemma. Let me give you a warm hug first.

The issue you're facing is:

After learning the guzheng for eight years, I have my own ideas. I play the instrument very loudly, which is technically correct, but I find it harsh and I reject it.

2. I don't think I can appreciate the guzheng, and my mother says that's just an excuse.

Let's take a look at the problem.

1. The questioner may have been studying for a long time and doing the same thing all the time, so it's understandable that they're feeling bored and lacking energy. It might be emotional, and they haven't found a common ground with the act of learning to play the guzheng itself. That is, they haven't found the charm of the guzheng.

2. The guzheng itself is fine. The questioner isn't rejecting the guzheng, but the difficulties that different aesthetics can cause. The charm of music sometimes lies in the fact that different people have different feelings when listening to it. While accepting your own aesthetics, you must also acknowledge your mother's aesthetics and the aesthetics of others. Don't reject it, allow it to exist, and just let it be. On the other hand, perhaps the aesthetic of loud sounds is only for large occasions, such as the feelings of the audience in a concert hall. The questioner should view it rationally.

Then again, maybe the appeal of loud sounds is only for big events in large venues like concert halls. In that case, we should look at it from a logical perspective.

3. Mom says it's an excuse, but it's just a misunderstanding caused by the differences in perception between the two sides. Mom's motives are out of love, just wanting you to do better, but she didn't take your thoughts into account and made an unobjective judgment without thinking it through.

Here's what we've got:

(1) Breathe, love your mother unconditionally, accept her views and let her views be.

(2) You might as well record the music you play the way you want it and the music your mother thinks you should play, and then make an objective, rational assessment of it.

(3) You can make a plan on your own, communicate with your mother proactively, and come to an agreement. For example, you could practice in your own way for a period of time, use both styles, find a third-party teacher to evaluate, and understand the respective advantages and disadvantages.

(4) If you change your mindset, you can take part in other activities to take your mind off things, like singing or running.

(5) Avoid overthinking and practice to improve yourself.

(6) Use non-violent communication to describe your situation during practice in an objective way, express your feelings honestly while considering your mother's feelings, and make your requests specific.

I hope this helps. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, question asker!

After reading your words, I can see how you're feeling. From what you've said, it seems like you're experiencing some internal conflict.

I'd like to invite you to consider the following:

What does the right way to play the guzheng look like to you?

1. Regarding your confusion

You've been learning the guzheng for about eight years, right? In that time, have you ever thought that you couldn't appreciate the correct way of playing it? If not, what's made you start thinking that recently?

From what you've said, it seems like you're blaming yourself and asking if you're just rebellious.

2. Regarding your feelings

"The sound of the guzheng is played very loudly, which is the correct way to play it," and you feel it's harsh and unpleasant.

"I don't like playing the sound very loudly. I think that's not the right way to play," and your feeling is: it's not harsh, it's not unpleasant.

3. About your mother's reaction

Your mother says you need to learn the basics first if you want to practice like this. She adds that if you're a master, you can change it yourself.

And when you shared your thoughts, your mother didn't fully understand your perspective but thought you were just making excuses and arguing, and told you to think it over.

It seems like you're a bit confused about the situation. You said, "But that's really how it is, I don't know."

But you feel like it's really challenging.

4. About your reaction

It seems like you're saying you're looking forward to playing the guzheng your way, and that this "correct way of playing" makes you feel uncomfortable.

I think what makes you uncomfortable is that you can't play the guzheng the way you want. Or is it just that "the sound of the guzheng is harsh"?

Over the past eight years, the sound of the guzheng has never been harsh. It's still the same guzheng, and the playing style is still the same. The only difference might be that you've grown up.

"You've recently started to have a lot of your own ideas," I'm genuinely happy and proud for you.

From what you've said, it seems like you're trying to do what your mother thinks is right when you play the guzheng.

When you have your own ideas, even if they're "incorrect," who cares?

Maybe you're hoping to do things your own way, have your thoughts heard, and feel like you're allowed to do that. It could be that your goal with the guzheng is to play it the way your mom thinks you should.

However, we can gradually express our own thoughts and opinions in other areas of our lives. Within the limits set by our mothers, we can still feel like we have our own thoughts.

As we grow, we'll face a range of worries and confusion. These are normal parts of healthy physical and mental development. There's no need to worry too much. You can talk more with classmates and friends about similar issues. I hope this helps!

I hope you have a great time studying and living!

Hello, question asker. :)

I would like to commend you for your perseverance in learning the guzheng for eight years. It is not an easy task, and I admire your dedication.

I have also had experience learning musical instruments, and I can understand the situation where the questioner has some thoughts about the guzheng performance. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as it shows that in the process of learning the guzheng, you have actually generated a lot of active thinking about this instrument that has accompanied you for many years.

I have experience learning musical instruments myself, and I can understand the situation where the questioner has some thoughts about playing the guzheng. In fact, this is not a bad thing at all. It shows that in the process of learning the guzheng, you have actually generated a lot of active thinking, and have many new ideas about this instrument that has accompanied you for many years. It's not necessarily rebellious, but rather a natural part of the learning process.

The questioner mentioned that they prefer a softer tone when playing the instrument, which seems to indicate that at this stage of learning the guzheng, a softer tone may be more suitable.

The questioner mentioned that they don't particularly enjoy playing the instrument at a high volume, as it tends to sound somewhat harsh. This could be an indication that, at this stage of learning the guzheng, a softer tone might be preferable.

It seems that the questioner's current dilemma may be related to a conflict with her mother over the appreciation of the guzheng. Her mother is right to say that learning a musical instrument requires a mastery of the basics. However, from an artistic perspective, it's understandable that there might be some subjectivity in everyone's appreciation of beauty.

In the current situation, it seems that the questioner may be seeking to gain a deeper understanding of his own thoughts and feelings, while also attempting to find a way to bridge the gap between his own perspective and that of his mother.

It might take some time to verify your ideas. We often come up with many different ideas during the long learning process, and the subjectivity of music appreciation means that there are many different ways of doing things that could be considered correct.

You might consider trying out some of your ideas while you're practicing the piano. For instance, you could experiment with playing the sound softer. Then, you could record the practice process with your mobile phone and listen to it again after a while. This might help generate more thoughts.

Regarding the conflict with your mother, it's possible that she and you have differing aesthetic preferences when it comes to the guzheng. It's understandable that you have your own thoughts on the guzheng, and it might be helpful to consider that your mother also has her own opinions about it.

Perhaps it would be helpful for the questioner to set aside a fixed period of time every day to complete those basic exercises that you don't really like. As people who study music, we can appreciate that although basic exercises are a bit boring and tedious, they still have some effect on improving skills. Once you have completed the limited tasks, you might like to spend the rest of the time putting your ideas into practice.

If you feel you cannot accept this situation mentally, it may be helpful to take a short break from the basic exercises.

I hope my answer is helpful. Best regards!

I hope my answer is helpful. Best regards!