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Da Bao gives a gift to his mother, and the mother is both delighted and worried?

second-hand iPhone shoe size cost of shoes gift intention illegal activities
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Da Bao gives a gift to his mother, and the mother is both delighted and worried? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Yesterday at noon, Da Bao, who is 13 years old and currently on leave from school, told me before going out to play that a classmate wanted to buy his second-hand iPhone for 250 yuan. He needed to deliver the phone. He sent a message at around 5:30 PM to say he would be late coming home, he would be back at 7:30. He then asked about the shoe size, and I told him, and he was also very happy. He later inquired about the cost of the shoes, during which time he himself also bought some snacks. He mentioned that the price of 266 yuan exceeded his ability to pay, causing me to feel unease and doubt if he had done something wrong to get the money. I want to tell him that the intention of giving the gift is there, and it doesn't matter if it's expensive or not, just don't do anything illegal. I'm afraid he might say I don't trust him!

Philip Jasper Sloane Philip Jasper Sloane A total of 8998 people have been helped

Dear question asker,

After reading your description, I am gratified to observe that you have a perceptive and responsible child. I would be inclined to extend a gesture of affectionate encouragement to the child.

From the information provided, it can be inferred that the child in question is 13 years of age. It would be beneficial to understand why he is taking time off from school and what concerns you have regarding this situation.

From the time your child left home, he consistently provided you with updates throughout the entire process, informing you of his expected return. Based on this account, it can be inferred that you have effectively instilled in your child a sense of personal safety and that he is able to maintain open communication with you regarding his plans and itinerary. This also suggests that your relationship is characterized by a high degree of mutual trust and transparency. Is this an accurate interpretation of the situation?

Secondly, the 266 yuan spent on shoes is perceived as being beyond the child's financial capabilities, prompting the question of where the funds originated. Is this an accurate assumption?

Have you inquired directly of your child as to the motivation behind the purchase of these shoes and whether sufficient funds were available to complete the transaction?

It is reasonable to posit that, should you inquire, your child will provide the desired information.

As a mother, I would likely have similar concerns if the roles were reversed. However, I perceive that my child's values are relatively positive, and I observe that your family's educational background is commendable.

It would be more beneficial to openly communicate with the child, actively listening and refraining from criticism, rather than engaging in guesswork.

Finally, as children mature, they will gradually establish their own social networks and spending habits. Do you provide your child with a fixed allowance?

Please clarify whether the frequency is weekly or monthly.

It is this author's recommendation that a book on financial literacy for children be read: "Rich Dad, Poor Dad." It is possible that the answers to the questions posed by the reader and their child can be found within the pages of this book.

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Lila Lila A total of 6398 people have been helped

Good day, my name is Flower.

(Quote the original words of the questioner) (Discuss step by step) (Key to the problem) (New ideas/approaches) (Give examples) (The world and I love you)

Firstly, I empathise with the questioner's joy at receiving a gift from her child. As a mother, she must be delighted to see her child's affection. However, I also perceive her concern about the situation. She wishes to enquire but is unsure of how to broach the topic and is fearful of causing distress to her child. I would like to offer some suggestions to the questioner.

Then, inquire as to the cost of the shoes. Meanwhile, the child has also purchased snacks. When the child states that the price of 266 yuan is beyond his means, I experience a sense of unease, suspecting that the child may have engaged in illicit activities and acquired the funds.

It is advisable to consider your child's perspective before communicating with them. You wish to inform your child that you have purchased a gift to demonstrate your appreciation, that the cost is inconsequential, and that you do not expect them to engage in any illicit activities. However, you are concerned that your child may perceive a lack of trust. What solutions might you propose?

It would be beneficial to reinterpret your child's "price beyond ability."

The child states that the price of 266 yuan is beyond his financial capabilities. The initial response of the observer is to inquire about the source of the funds. Has an inappropriate action been taken?

It would be beneficial to consider your child's perspective. Did your child perform a remarkable act and earn this money themselves, or did they obtain it from another source? Rather than making assumptions, it would be advantageous to engage in a dialogue with your child.

Before communicating, it is essential to adopt the perspective of the child in question.

As this is a communication exercise, it is important to put ourselves in the child's position without making any judgments or assumptions. For instance, why did the child choose the shoes as a gift rather than other items?

For example, what was the rationale behind the child's decision to purchase the 266 shoe instead of the 99 shoe? What efforts did the child make in the process of saving up the money?

The initial step in the communication process is to express your enthusiasm to your child.

The initial response to receiving a gift is typically one of surprise and relief. It is important to convey these positive emotions to your child, as it will reinforce their own efforts and instill confidence in their abilities.

Communication Step 2: Affirm your child's intentions and actions.

One effective communication strategy is to ensure the other person feels appreciated and needed. This can be achieved by first affirming and praising the child's actions and acknowledging their intentions. Expressing gratitude for the positive impact they have made is also a valuable step.

Additionally, you can ascertain the efforts the child has made in making these choices (e.g., saving money or selling second-hand goods), offer affirmation, gain insight into the child's thoughts, and provide praise.

Communication step 3: Expressing trust and sharing ideas

It is important to convey to your child that you trust them, that you are grateful, that you have received their thoughtfulness and gift, that thoughtfulness is more valuable than a gift, that you don't require such an expensive gift, that you can purchase it when your child earns money in the future, and that it is sufficient that your child has thought of you. Additionally, you can attempt to motivate your child by sharing stories about the part that worries about doing bad things.

The Fox Story: The Zhuangzhuang family, comprising Papa Zhuangzhuang, Mama Lili, their son Qiangqiang, and their daughter Honghong, is a family with ambitious aspirations.

One day, Fox Mother Lili expressed interest in dressing like a human in a beautiful dress to showcase her fur to her peers. She requested that Fox Father purchase the dress. Fox Father agreed.

However, the question remained: where would he find so many fritillaries? A skirt cost at least 10 fritillaries! Suddenly, he had a brainwave: he could trade food for fritillaries! He fished a few fish out of the pond, but no one wanted to trade with him. There was no other way, so he went to the human bank to steal fritillaries.

He arose at 6 o'clock, utilized his diminutive physique to navigate the security grate, and methodically ascended through a narrow aperture, exercising caution to avoid any missteps. Upon reaching the bank, he procured a length of wire and employed it to dislodge the door. Ultimately, he procured 21 fritillaries and became a wealthy individual.

Father Fox used the stolen fritillaries to purchase a beautiful dress for Mother Fox. He used the remaining 11 fritillaries to purchase a necklace of sapphires for his daughter Honghong, new trousers for his son Qiangqiang, and a fox costume for himself.

Although the family was pleased with the outcome, Father Fox was uneasy. He promised himself that he would never engage in such activities again and that he would earn his keep through honest work to support his family.

And so they lived happily ever after.

I hope this information is useful to the questioner and that they have a positive outcome.

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Yvonne Jade Anderson Yvonne Jade Anderson A total of 8207 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and self-effacing.

A child's gift can make a mother shine.

Understand your child.

❀Lambs are grateful for their mother's milk, and crows are grateful for their parents' care. After we give our children something, they give us back. As a mother, I can feel your joy. At the same time, we should accept the love expressed by our children because it is an expression of love. You may be worried about the way your child chooses to express his love, but don't worry, let's discuss it later.

Why did your child give you a gift? Is it because it's a special day, or just because they want to?

Children's world is simple. Ask the child why they want to give their mother a present today. Did their mother forget something or is there another reason?

First, help the child explain why they want to give their mother a present. Then, we'll decide if it's a good idea.

If a child buys a gift that's too expensive, we can help them understand where the money came from. This way, we can help them if there are any problems.

Accept your child's gifts.

Children give their mothers gifts for many reasons. We can respond to these reasons in the right way. We are happy, but we need to guide children when they give gifts that are too expensive. We can tell the child that their mother is happy and worried about them.

As the saying goes, "reciprocity is the way of the world." This is true for any relationship at any time. While accepting our child's gift, we can give them something essential for life. When giving the gift, we can tell our child that the most important thing about a gift is the thought behind it.

Acknowledge your child's gift. Praise their taste in shoes. Let them know you appreciate it. This will make them happy and help them grow.

When we talk to our kids and explain everything, we'll feel better.

Best wishes!

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Clayton Clayton A total of 7204 people have been helped

Now that your child is thirteen years old, they may also possess the capacity to discern between right and wrong, to comprehend the principles of fairness, and to regulate their conduct through the use of punishment and reward, as well as an understanding of the social contract laws they have acquired.

The content at this age is of a moral nature. The subject stated that the phone was sold for more than 200 yuan. He is then required to deliver the phone and will be back late at night, which causes concern. Concurrently, he inquires about the size of the shoes worn by the subject and provides gifts.

Dabao presented his mother with a gift, eliciting a complex emotional response.

Dabao requested a leave of absence from his academic institution to remain at home the previous afternoon, citing a desire to engage in leisure activities.

It would be prudent to ascertain whether Classmate A is indeed interested in purchasing the aforementioned iPhone.

It is reasonable to be concerned about this situation.

It is advisable to place trust in this matter.

It is encouraging to observe that your child has reached this developmental stage, and it is evident that they have begun to demonstrate some proficiency in financial management. It is plausible that the funds were acquired through the sale of a used mobile phone.

It would be prudent to inquire with the other individual about the provenance of the funds in question.

It is within the rights of parents to inquire as to the source of their children's finances.

It is possible to ascertain one's current state of mind with clarity.

While you are gratified that your child has bestowed a gift upon you, the other party may also be concerned about this financial transaction, potentially due to negative or illegal implications. However, there is currently no evidence to substantiate these concerns.

It is therefore unnecessary to dwell on these negative aspects for the time being. Parents can continue to provide support to their children by adopting a more tolerant and stable positive attitude. You have already conveyed your positive emotions to him.

It is possible that the other person will also be gratified by your positive emotional state. You inquired about the cost of the shoes, and you are aware that your child has paid money or invested effort in these items. Two hundred or so is a relatively high price, given that your child is still in adolescence.

Furthermore, it may be beneficial to inquire about the source of the other individual's financial resources, which could provide additional insight and assurance. This approach may contribute to a sense of reassurance and clarity, facilitating the release of pressure and the guidance of your child's understanding of ethical financial conduct.

In the event of doubt, it is advisable to place trust in the child rather than entertain suspicion. This is an instinctive parental response, and it has the additional benefit of fostering positive character development. Nevertheless, it is prudent to ascertain whether the proceeds from the sale of the used phone are sufficient and to explore alternative sources of revenue.

Please clarify the meaning of ZQ.

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Comments

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Ryan Thomas Life is a dream that we are living through.

I understand your concerns about Da Bao. It's important to talk to him and make sure he knows that we're only worried because we care about him and his wellbeing. We should remind him that there are proper ways to earn money and that it's okay if he can't afford the gift right now.

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Linda Miller To succeed, you must first be willing to fail and then use that experience to your advantage.

It seems like Da Bao is trying to do something nice, but it's crucial for us to ensure he understands the boundaries. Maybe we can offer help or guidance on how he could save up for the gift over time instead of feeling pressured to come up with the money quickly. We should reassure him that our trust in him hasn't changed.

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Frances Thomas Learning is a dialogue that never ends.

Da Bao must have felt very eager to get the shoes for his friend. However, it's a good opportunity to teach him about financial responsibility and the importance of not rushing into decisions. We can discuss with him the value of planning ahead and saving money properly, as well as making sure any transactions he makes are safe and legal.

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Violet Walker Life is a dialogue between your higher self and your ego.

I feel like Da Bao might be misunderstanding the concern here. He probably thinks we doubt his actions, but really, we just want to protect him from potentially risky situations. We should have an open conversation where we express our feelings honestly and listen to his side too, so we can both feel better about what happened and move forward positively.

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