Did missing the motivational scholarship because of "goodness" make my life seem bleak?

Hello, I'm Hua Er.

From what the questioner said, I can tell that he feels bad for being "kind," that he's helpless, and that he regrets not getting the "inspirational scholarship." He's also worried that not getting a scholarship will make him less competitive. First, I give the questioner a big hug from afar!

"Or tell me how to get the highest compensation for suicide?"

First, let's get one thing straight: life is way more valuable than money. Apart from making money, the meaning of life is also about experiencing the world, with its emotions, technology, nature...

"Dear colleagues, can you help me out?"

I hope the following words can help you feel a bit better:

Graduate school and employment look at ability, and poverty isn't a competitive advantage.

A postgraduate's chances of getting a job depend on their performance in the written test, their knowledge base, and whether they have the potential to do scientific research. It's also important to note that postgraduate study is not the only path to employment.

Whether or not you get the job depends on whether your skills match what the company needs and whether you're a good fit for them. Poverty isn't a competitive advantage, but if you're driven by a passion to succeed despite your circumstances, that can be a real asset.

So, the questioner can try to change their mindset and boost their personal competitiveness, rather than comparing themselves with students from less well-off backgrounds.

Just because you don't have a scholarship doesn't mean you can't make an effort in college. You need to learn how to use what you've learned to create value.

The questioner ranked 5th out of 300 people in the comprehensive assessment, which is really very good. However, there are only so many school scholarships, and unfortunately, the questioner didn't get one.

This ranking is proof of your hard work over the past three years at university. I believe that all the knowledge and skills you have gained and the methods you have learned will be valuable assets in the future. We can also use what we have learned to create economic value and contribute to society.

Maybe the money you earn with your own hands and wisdom is more fulfilling and more powerful than the money from an inspirational scholarship.

There are lots of ways to repay your parents, and you'll definitely earn more money in the future.

There are lots of ways to repay our parents, not just university scholarships. In fact, many times, parents don't really need us to earn a lot of money to come home. They just need an occasional phone call or a sign of care.

And there are times when parents don't actually spend their children's money. I can see from your writing that you feel really sorry for your parents. As students, making money isn't our main priority. In the future, when you come back after finishing your studies, you'll be able to give your parents something back with the knowledge you've gained, and they'll be really happy.

Ultimately, parents just want us to be happy.

Take a look at the people who receive national inspirational scholarships.

I'll tell you a story about when I was in college. In 2019, I had a classmate whose monthly spending was less than 400 yuan. That's less than $60! I saw that she ate a 1-yuan pack of biscuits every morning and for dinner as well. She rarely bought fruit or clothes.

She paid her tuition fees with her scholarship and basically also her living expenses, and she also gave her younger brother and sister a little pocket money from time to time. It's these financial difficulties that make her so careful with every penny.

Fortunately, she has an inspirational scholarship, otherwise she might really struggle to make ends meet.

It's worth noting that not all scholarship recipients are from low-income backgrounds. Perhaps it would be kinder to prioritize students who truly need financial assistance so they can focus on their studies without worrying about finances.

I hope these answers help. There's still a lot to be hopeful about. Go for it, young people!

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, and I offer free, warm company and sincere listening to those who seek it.

You feel a profound sense of remorse and self-reproach for not applying for financial aid as a first-year student. You recognize that you have missed out on 40,000 yuan (equivalent to half a year's income for your parents) over the past four years of university, and you feel a sense of personal accountability for having let your parents down.

You are self-critical and perceive your future as bleak because you believe you have lost at the outset.

"He who knows others is wise, he who knows himself is clear." Have you conducted a thorough assessment of the value and impact that scholarships have brought you?

The brain has a need to rationalize and maintain a sense of rationality.

Rationalization is a psychological defense mechanism. In essence, it entails offering a reasonable justification to mask frustration or painful feelings of helplessness.

Psychological research indicates that individuals are driven to prove their own correctness. Once a goal or rationale has been established, even in the face of significant changes in circumstances, it may become untenable. To maintain their sense of correctness, individuals will often seek reasons to justify their position and provide themselves with psychological comfort, which can impede their ability to recognize the actual truth.

This behavior, which occurs unconsciously, is known as "rationalization."

There are three main methods of rationalization: sour grapes, sweet lemon, and shifting the blame.

You are attributing all of these issues (losing 40,000 yuan, feeling guilty towards your parents for raising you for decades, the future postgraduate entrance examination may be affected, and life is lost at the starting point) to not getting a scholarship and not applying for financial aid as a freshman. This is an example of seeking out reasons and excuses to justify your own frustration.

How might we implement a change? One potential solution is to alter the term "rationalization" to "rationality."

Rationalization is the process of finding reasons to justify a particular viewpoint. In contrast, reasoning is the act of examining all the facts and making an informed decision.

What is the underlying issue? Low self-esteem leads to a lack of confidence.

You are kind and believe that there are individuals in the class who are less fortunate and who require the scholarship more.

Your perspective is somewhat simplistic. School is a microcosm of society, where competition is inevitable. However, absolute fairness is unattainable, but justice is achievable.

You have excellent academic credentials, a strong moral compass, and a clear understanding of how to care for and respect your parents.

You possess numerous commendable qualities, yet you exhibit a notable deficiency in confidence. It is not uncommon for individuals to succumb to self-doubt and self-deprecation.

When we focus on what we lack, we tend to adopt a negative outlook on people and situations.

It is important to recognize that human energy is limited. When we complain more, we are less likely to be grateful. It is therefore crucial to consider whether it would be more beneficial to help those who demonstrate gratitude or those who complain frequently.

This is only a four-year university program, a relatively short period in your life. This scholarship is only one factor in your parents' broader plan for your success. How does it fit into your life goals and ambitions?

It would be beneficial to improve your perception and stand in the future to reflect on this matter. What is it? Additionally, it would be helpful to address your feelings of self-pity and how they relate to the concept of filial piety and repaying your parents.

Your value, upbringing, and studies have led to your current achievements and future success. How can these be measured by a scholarship or 40,000 yuan?

Self-confidence is closely tied to an individual's perception of self-worth. Self-worth is an internal assessment of one's own value, independent of external influences.

During our formative years, we internalized our parents' criticism, accusations, and denials, gradually forming our own self-perception. This can result in a lack of self-worth, leading to sensitivity, suspicion, vulnerability, and even an inferiority complex.

Individuals who receive frequent affirmation, praise, and recognition from their parents tend to possess a high sense of worth, exhibit high levels of confidence, and lead lives characterized by strength and resilience.

There are two levels of confidence that we often discuss. One is external and material, and it stems from the affirmation of others. This kind of confidence requires a certain foundation to support and guarantee it. Once this support and guarantee is removed, confidence is likely to be undermined.

Another level is derived from a high sense of self-worth. This individual exudes confidence in themselves and in their future prospects.

Do not deny or doubt your abilities based on outcomes, whether positive or negative.

To enhance self-confidence, it is essential to elevate one's sense of worth. The most straightforward approach is to consistently provide oneself with positive reinforcement. Affirm, praise, and approve of oneself, and accept oneself unconditionally.

The following slogans can also be beneficial: "I am a life. I deserve to be loved," "I need love/have faith, meet challenges," "I want to live my life to the fullest/face the sun, be confident and happy," and "Believe in yourself and you can do it." (Please refer to my personal homepage for an article I wrote on this subject.)

You are, after all, an outstanding student who has received a higher education. However, you are also experiencing low self-esteem. Rather than dwelling on the small amount of money in front of you and blaming yourself for not initially applying for financial aid, you should take responsibility for your own share.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name] [Your title] [Company name] [Company address] [Company city, state, and country] [Company phone number] [Company email] [Company website

Should you wish to continue our dialogue, please click on the "Find a Coach" link, which you will find in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be in touch to discuss your requirements in more detail.

Hello!

I can feel your regret, your unwillingness, your regret, and your kindness.

"My roommate got 5,000 yuan in a national incentive award"—if your roommate's grades are better than yours and his family is worse off, I think you must be happy for him. It's great that he got the award!

To be honest, after reading your copy of the question, I also feel a deep sense of regret. My roommate received a generous prize from the applause and cheers of others, while I was forgotten in the corner. But you know what? That's okay! There's always next time.

Maybe in the eyes of many people, I am a model student who studies hard. And I'm excited to show them that I am!

I'm still in the running for that national award! I just need to apply for financial aid.

Embrace the opportunity and think about it. Is there any possibility that you can apply again for financial aid as a senior? —Because our school applies once per academic year, I don't know the situation on the questioner's side, but I'm sure it will be worth it!

If you meet the requirements, you will be able to receive the corresponding reward! If you don't meet the requirements or are no longer eligible to apply,

(Because you might go for an internship) Then consider this as your own experience. I feel that the questioner is an excellent person and may earn 40,000 yuan a month in the future. Everyone's opportunities are different. Maybe we have missed a lot now, but in the future, we will find that missing these 40,000 yuan is just a small amount of money.

Not to worry! It won't affect our normal lives or development.

I know you want to help your parents out as much as you can. You are a great kid and so motivated!

This is a lifetime of wealth that no one can take away!

So, what are we really upset about?

It's a shame that some people who have good family conditions but don't work hard end up wasting their grants and inspirational scholarships. It's not fair, but we can learn from it!

We could have fought for some resources, but we didn't think far enough ahead and comprehensively, so we didn't try to apply for them. (To be honest, there were 15 places for poor students in my class at university, and some people were really poor, while others really weren't, and there were really poor people in the class who were unwilling to apply for various reasons.) But we shouldn't blame ourselves. Time cannot be turned back, so let's focus on the positives! We might as well thank our parents, because I think the questioner's living conditions are not bad.

We may not be rich, but our parents have made it so that you don't have to apply for a student loan!

In my first year of college, I had friends who were at risk of dropping out, even though they had applied for a national loan to pay their tuition. But their parents would not give them any money for living expenses.

But that doesn't stop them! They go to factories during the holidays to earn a living.

And they are still in college, not studying hard. But they will be soon! We must first thank our parents for giving us life and providing us with so many resources, and cherish our current happiness.

I'm sure it won't be long before you earn back those tens of thousands of dollars!

Don't look at how other people live and believe that you will get your own happiness step by step!

I believe in you!

You made a mistake by not applying for the poor student inspirational scholarship. This has caused you a lot of pain. You feel your life is bleak and that negative emotions are spreading among you, even giving rise to some negative feelings and extreme thoughts.

In this situation, you need to do the necessary crisis intervention. Call the crisis intervention hotline to calm yourself down. Don't give up your life because of money. The school is evaluating national awards and national incentives, and others can get them. You are upset because you did not apply for financial aid as a freshman.

It's important to understand that even if you get good grades, you still won't get any kind of scholarship. It's natural to feel a bit unfair about it. Those students who are less academically successful may end up being even richer than you, but they can get scholarships. It seems that you can't get one, and this comparison will make you feel uncomfortable.

If you have applied for financial aid, this scholarship can be your family's income for half a year. It will be very helpful, especially when we see the hardworking backs of our parents. It is easier to make ourselves feel a lot of sadness when we don't have the financial support we need.

You were never very wealthy to begin with, and some people who don't deserve it have gotten more, which makes you feel unfair, painful, and regretful. However, none of us have a time machine, and it is difficult to undo what has already happened. Many things are interrelated.

Everything is interlinked. You feel so much pain because you didn't get these scholarships. This is the state of your life. In fact, we shouldn't belittle ourselves just because we didn't get some scholarships. Other people may be just like the child who cries when he doesn't get what he wants. They ask for a lot and always demand from the outside world before they get what they want. It's okay if you don't get it. There will be many opportunities in the future to get it through your own abilities and hard work. I suggest you seek psychological counseling and talk about it.

ZQ?