Feeling immoral, another immoral thought occurs. Is this really madness?

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

Let us begin by discussing emotions. Emotions are comprised of distinctive subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion may be an unmet internal demand. For example, when we are denied a promotion or a pay increase, we experience sadness; when we lose a cherished possession that we have had for many years, we feel anger.

In the realm of emotions, our attention is often drawn to those that are more readily discernible and outwardly manifested, such as anger, distress, and self-harm. However, the less conspicuous emotions, including guilt, self-blame, and shame, are frequently disregarded.

As these emotions are often deeply buried in people's hearts, they can be difficult to articulate and comprehend.

These emotions are suppressed in the subconscious, and the cells of the body retain a memory of the feeling. When a similar situation is encountered, this bodily memory is activated, resulting in increased bodily tension and respiratory rate.

This is referred to as a "complex" in psychological literature, or an emotional button. It is possible that the questioner's current negative emotions and somatic reactions may have triggered this emotional button.

As the questioner noted, I consider problems on a daily basis and believe that immorality often leads to further immoral actions.

It would be beneficial to inquire of ourselves what emotions are evoked when we consider such immoral thoughts.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to inquire as to what the underlying motivation is when contemplating infidelity and the subsequent consequences.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to inquire as to the source of the anxiety and fear that arise when contemplating these matters.

However, awareness represents the initial step in the change process. As the questioner stated, I feel unable to resume a typical lifestyle.

It is therefore advisable to attempt to achieve a state of emotional equilibrium. When such negative emotions arise, it is recommended to observe them without judgement, allowing them to come and go freely like clouds, or drift away slowly like leaves in the water. Another potential solution is the use of writing therapy, whereby the emotions in question are expressed through writing or drawing, thus providing an outlet for their release.

Additionally, an empty chair can be utilized to establish a secure setting and ambiance through role-playing and self-dialogue. This approach facilitates the connection between past experiences and one's present state of mind, allowing for the conscious integration of chaotic thoughts and the release of negative emotions.

It is also possible to learn to distract oneself, particularly from excessive thinking. When unethical thoughts arise, it is helpful to verbally stop oneself and remind oneself that these are merely thoughts and that one is currently fine. Focusing on one's breathing, opening one's senses, and filling the gaps in one's attention can then be employed as a distraction. Listening to music, stretching, and other exercises can also be effective. Meditation and mindfulness are also beneficial for regulating one's attention.

It is permissible to ruminate on occasion, to gradually accept and then bid farewell. It is essential to respect the cadence of one's own emotions.

It is advisable to seek assistance if the issue is causing you difficulty. It may be helpful to speak with a family member or friend who can provide positive support. If necessary, you can also consult with a counselor. It is important to acknowledge and accept the inner shadow before negative habits can be replaced with more constructive thinking patterns.

Additionally, it is beneficial to spend more time outdoors, immersing oneself in the natural world and taking in the sounds and scents of flora and fauna. At the same time, it is important to nourish the inner self through activities such as reading, exercise, and other forms of relaxation. This process of self-care allows for the resolution of internal conflicts, the letting go of experiences that did not align with one's expectations, and the attainment of a deeper understanding of oneself. This is a form of maturity and growth.

Please accept my blessings.

We recommend the following publication: "The Body Never Forgets."

Your inner world appears to be a complex and intricate tapestry of thoughts and emotions, which can lead to feelings of confusion and unease. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience such complex thoughts and feelings, particularly when navigating self-identity, emotional needs, and moral judgments.

This does not signify that you are "finished." On the contrary, this may be a component of the process of growth and self-discovery. Despite the challenges inherent in the process, there is always a point of resolution.

The combination of thoughts about sexual orientation, emotional security, and moral anxiety is a significant source of distress. It is important to note that sexual attraction to the same sex is not an abnormal phenomenon. Furthermore, emotional tendencies are natural and deserving of respect.

The social acceptance of homosexuality is undergoing a gradual but constant improvement. It is therefore important to develop self-acceptance and to live in a way that is comfortable for oneself. With regard to curiosity and imagination about others in different situations, this is also part of human nature. We all make all kinds of guesses and imaginations about the people around us, and this does not mean that one is "abnormal".

In regard to moral anxiety, it appears that an internalized "thought-punishment" cycle may be at play, wherein concerns arise that one's thoughts may lead to actual consequences and even a sense of moral culpability for these thoughts. However, it is important to note that thoughts themselves do not inherently cause harm; rather, it is our actions that truly matter.

The human brain produces a multitude of thoughts, including those that may be perceived as unusual or undesirable. The crucial distinction lies in differentiating between thoughts and actions. It is essential to recognize that merely having a thought does not necessitate its implementation or imply any form of punishment.

It is important to note that schizophrenia typically manifests in more pronounced and severe forms, such as hallucinations and delusions, rather than merely contemplating moral or sexual matters. The current distress may be more closely associated with emotional and anxiety-related concerns, potentially linked to previous experiences of depression and obsessive thinking.

It is recommended that you seek the counsel of a professional counselor, who can facilitate in-depth communication in a secure setting.

As a complete and complex individual, one's thoughts and feelings constitute an integral part of one's unique existence. It is essential to allow oneself the necessary time and space to navigate the confusion and unease that may arise. With the passage of time, the provision of suitable support, and a commitment to effort, it is possible to identify a path that aligns with one's needs and to learn how to live in harmony with these thoughts, while remaining true to one's healthy self.

It is important to remember that no individual is perfect; we are all constantly learning and growing, including you and me. With perseverance and determination, you can achieve this.

Hi there!

A friendly pat on the shoulder

Is it really crazy to have another immoral thought because you feel immoral?

When we keep switching between negative thoughts, and there's no way to ease the inner conflict and anxiety, we start to doubt our thoughts and state of mind. We wonder, is this normal? If I were normal, would I be able to control my thoughts?

Our emotions are constantly repressed and not allowed to be expressed.

The only way we can affirm and accept our emotions is to deny them. Even when we focus on the object of our emotions, we feel a strong sense of inhibition or guilt. We're blocking the normal flow of feelings, but we still long to rely on the object to which we can pour our emotions.

So, even though feelings can be confusing and overwhelming, it's not a sign of insanity. It's more a matter of not knowing how to handle them.

So, why can't I express these feelings normally?

The answer to this question is complex and depends on the individual's personal growth journey. Generally, it can be attributed to two main factors: first, the inability to meet social expectations, particularly in relation to the "heterosexual community," and the special relationship between men and men, which is often overlooked or not accepted by society. This can lead to significant pressure; second, family support and acceptance. When social expectations cannot be met, it is natural for children to desire more psychological support from their family, but there may be conflicts in role expectations between parents and children. The rejection of the emotional connection or the lack of self-acceptance is another key factor. Emotions are spontaneous, but maintaining them requires rationality and love to overcome. However, love is not always strong enough to withstand the test, and when our own strength is relatively weak, we will feel a lack of resources.

So, when you're constantly under pressure and anxious, it's only natural that you'll have negative feelings and thoughts. And if you lack confidence in your ability to handle emotions, you'll be more likely to worry about getting worse before you get better.

How can I handle these negative feelings and emotions?

The solution to the problem is to learn how to deal with negative feelings and thoughts properly. This means paying attention to your own negative feelings, giving yourself room to understand and accept them, learning how to maintain stable emotions, and reducing emotional fluctuations.

First, record and reflect. It's like keeping an emotional diary, where I note down my feelings as they are in my mind, even if they're a bit chaotic and illogical. As long as they're my genuine feelings, I can record them and see where they really come from.

If you identify your true inner needs, you'll be better able to accept your emotions.

For instance, when I see other people being intimate, I'll constantly wonder if these actions are moral, if they'll happen to me, and if this is a punishment.

When you write them down, feelings have an objective expression, and you'll feel a bit better after getting them out of your system. Then you'll see how true and reliable such thoughts are, and you can see the problem more rationally, knowing which thoughts are superfluous and which thoughts are due to your own needs in the relationship.

However, other people's lives – even if we just observe them with our eyes – may still be based on partial information and unable to truly reflect the whole of their lives. So, we can't really judge that thoughts are based on facts. But through such observations, we can better see the needs we desire in a relationship. For example, if he is very handsome, is this because I want my future partner to have the characteristic of being "handsome"?

For instance, if I want to get along with someone gently, is that also because I want a gentle relationship?

Feelings come from our own needs, so it's important to pay attention to them.

Second, set some reasonable goals for yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

Just like career development, life also requires a certain amount of planning. This is to maintain a certain degree of stability and order in life, so that we can better handle the pressures from all aspects. In other words, it's about protecting our emotions. So when a person is always living in a state of chaotic feelings, but without a positive energy input, they'll find it difficult to cope with stress. Our subconscious mind will feel negative stress faster than we do. This means that negative feelings and emotions will be continuously perpetuated one after another.

If you're feeling stressed during an interaction, drinking a cup of tea or eating a piece of dessert can help you relax and feel happier. It'll help you manage your emotions better, give you more freedom to act, and help you deal with negative feelings more confidently.

So, it's not that the question owner has a problem, but rather that behind the emotions there is a need for "love." What is more needed is self-acceptance after emotional confirmation. Only then will you be able to be free of criticism and unnecessary cognitive concepts of moral coercion, and return to a state of free and normal living.

It's important to understand that love knows no boundaries.

I hope this helps!

Wishing you the best!