Feeling isolated and like a failure for not watching pornographic videos?

Hello! I'm so happy I can answer your question. I really hope my suggestions will be helpful to you.

For your current situation, we just need to figure out what we can do to help ourselves. Which direction do you think we need to focus on?

It's so important to be able to express our feelings.

I find it so interesting that you don't watch porn!

First of all, it's really important to understand that there are two possible outcomes to a confession: success or failure.

If we succeed, we'll be really happy and we'll have a great romantic relationship!

If we're not successful, we can always ask the other person if they'd like to give us a chance to show them who we are and express our love.

And if, despite our best efforts, we're unable to win someone's love, we must respect their feelings. We can think of it the other way around, too: if someone we don't like keeps pestering us, we'll also feel uncomfortable.

It's so important to remember that our emotions are a two-way street and that we can't force anyone to feel a certain way.

I'd also like to talk about watching porn.

First of all, I just want to say that this behavior itself is illegal, so we won't be doing that. It's not wrong, and it's not unhealthy or abnormal.

Secondly, when we return to real life, it's perfectly normal for adults or those with sexual needs to look at pictures or videos. It's just a choice. It's the same as some people chasing stars or others watching anime. Not chasing stars is totally fine, and not being a second yuan is also perfectly normal.

Finally, I really think you should seek the help of a psychological counselor to help you adjust your current emotional state. I know confession failure can sometimes feel like a broken heart, but you've got this! We need to escape from the current emotions, better sort out our current situation, and find a way to socialize that suits our development direction.

I really hope that you can find a way to adjust to your own needs and restore your physical and mental health, either through self-reflection or with the help of a professional.

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. I'm here to help.

Thank you for trusting me and asking me questions.

A failed confession doesn't define you.

Sometimes, relationships don't work out because the timing is wrong.

Read more books on psychology to enrich yourself.

When you become a better person, you will attract people who are similar to you.

If you bloom, the butterflies will come.

You might have a value bias in your thinking because you don't watch porn.

There's a "going with the flow" effect in psychology.

Everyone does that.

But is it right? I don't think so.

Watching porn is wrong. Just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it right.

Sometimes, it's about the person you're confessing to.

It's not that you're not good enough. He might already have someone else in his heart.

If you want to die, call the suicide hotline.

Seek help from a professional counselor if you need to.

A counselor can help you sort out your thoughts.

I hope you can resolve your problem soon.

I'm out of ideas.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you. Take care!

!

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From your description, I sense a certain degree of self-doubt. It seems you may feel somewhat unattractive. It appears you have not yet had the opportunity to express your love, and you are facing some challenges in accepting yourself.

It's possible that you may feel like a failure because you think this is because you are isolated for not watching porn. Have you considered whether there might be a causal relationship between not watching porn and being isolated? And does being isolated mean you are a failure? Have you thought about whether there might be a causal relationship between the two? And is it inevitable? It's worth noting that there is definitely no inevitable link between whether a person fails and whether they watch porn. What do you think?

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be this:

It's okay to accept that you might not be able to achieve intimacy with someone right away. It's not unusual to feel like you're struggling to connect with someone, and it's important to remember that this doesn't mean you're a failure or that you're not good enough.

In this world, the probability of success immediately after expressing your feelings is not that high. Therefore, we should not deny ourselves or feel unattractive or even a failure because of our temporary failure to express our feelings. I still remember that before my husband met me, he had also expressed his feelings, but without success. So, when he expressed his feelings to me, he was very nervous, and he was afraid that he would fail again. But fortunately, I loved him and I agreed. He was also very happy, and we both cherished our relationship very much. Up to now, our relationship is very good and we are very happy. He said, "Love will only come after a few twists and turns!"

Nothing is everything to us. Intimacy is inherently a two-person thing. If we don't meet the right person, if we don't meet someone who matches us, we may feel a bit frustrated. But it's also possible that this is simply a matter of waiting for the arrival of the right person. It's important not to magnify the failure of confession to the point where we fail as a whole. It might be helpful to look at your abilities in life, see how well you do at work, and look at your strengths more. Appreciating your own value is also important. If you become someone who appreciates and likes themselves, you'll be able to attract a partner who is also confident and loving.

2. You might consider learning more about intimate relationships by reading related books or taking relevant courses, which could help you grow and become stronger.

Indeed, if we truly care for someone, we can put in the effort to make them care for us in return. It is important to remember that watching porn is not the only factor that determines whether someone likes us back.

It is possible to make the person we like like us too by correctly assessing our strengths and weaknesses.

There is a practical management tool called SWOT analysis. The four initials stand for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.

This tool can help us gain a better understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. By showcasing our positive qualities and addressing potential concerns, we can create a more positive impression and potentially foster a deeper connection with the person we love.

I would like to cite an example from Mr. Chen Lijie's book:

I have a male friend who, when recalling the time when he was wooing his wife, felt that the chances were somewhat slim. The gap between the two of them was still very large: the woman was beautiful and tall, and many boys wanted to woo her; she was good at her studies and had a good rapport with others; the man, on the other hand, was only average-looking, came from a poor family, and could have dressed better. He also could have worked on his sense of humor and wit.

He also has a number of strengths, including a good personality, affability, hard work, dedication, attentiveness, motivation, resilience, and flexibility. He is not one to give up easily.

After a few encounters, he discovered that the goddess did not dislike him and was willing to share things about her family with him. Through patient listening, he learned that because she had been placed in foster care by her parents when she was young and had lacked their companionship and support, she may have lacked self-confidence and felt insecure. She was easily nervous and when she got nervous, she would get stomachaches.

One possible approach to understanding the four aspects of both men and women is through a SWOT analysis.

In considering the strengths of the male, it would be fair to say that he has a number of positive attributes.

His strengths include affinity, a willingness to give, motivation, hard work, resilience, flexibility, and a talent for caring for others and communicating effectively.

Some areas for improvement could be his family background, appearance, fashion sense, and perhaps a more nuanced approach to communication.

Opportunities:

There may be some challenges to navigate, such as the presence of other competitors, a potential loss of trust, or the possibility of the other person leaving because they don't feel safe.

With regard to the woman,

He has many strengths, including being beautiful, intelligent, generous, rational, and having good interpersonal relationships.

Weaknesses: Insecurity, lack of confidence, and a weak constitution.

It would be beneficial to respond positively to the other person, motivate them, and share your innermost secrets.

There is a potential for the other person to feel overwhelmed. It is possible that when the other person is successful in their career, they may not treat her as well as they have been.

It might be helpful to consider using a SWOT analysis to highlight our strengths and avoid our weaknesses when pursuing someone we like. This could help us turn a potential crisis into an opportunity. It might be beneficial to try to show our strengths as much as possible and make them irreplaceable.

My friend was also very attentive and caring. He made sure to prepare warm water to soothe his partner's stomach every day, ordered easy-to-digest food when he was eating out, and stayed by his partner's side if she had a bad stomachache. It seems that this level of care and dedication was a significant factor in the goddess's growing fondness for him.

It is worth noting, however, that for there to be chemistry, it is important that your strengths are aligned with those of the other person. If there is a discrepancy between your strengths and the other person's interests, it may be helpful to evaluate whether this is the right relationship for you.

This is what it means to complement each other's strengths.

In general, as long as there is an opportunity to demonstrate one's core strengths and the other person is receptive or at least not opposed, there is hope. For instance, if a friend enjoys communicating and the other person is willing to respond, the advantage of strong communication skills can be an asset.

In terms of potential challenges, it's important to first identify our own shortcomings and understand the possible negative effects. While it's essential to address these issues, it's also crucial to recognize that they don't have to be insurmountable obstacles. With the right approach, they can actually become opportunities for growth and learning.

My friend is an excellent example of someone who has overcome significant challenges to achieve success. Despite coming from a modest background and not having the conventional appearance, he has worked hard and shown admirable resilience. He exudes confidence and generosity, which have earned him the admiration and respect of others. However, if he is hesitant to pursue a romantic relationship with someone because of his family's circumstances, it might inadvertently create a negative impression.

At that time, my friend was open to taking on more part-time jobs. When he went out with the woman, he was always happy to pay the bill and often bought her small gifts, which he hoped would show his sincerity and attentiveness. The woman, in turn, was considerate and took the initiative to choose suitable places to spend money, and also gave him some gifts in return.

I believe that not only does the relationship not become constrained by material conditions, but it actually grows stronger through mutual understanding.

It is also important to understand the other person's weaknesses. This should not be done in a way that is confrontational or self-serving, but rather with the intention of showing acceptance and meeting the other person's needs. This can potentially create an opportunity for us to win their love.

For instance, if my friend discovers that the other person is lacking in self-assurance, he will frequently offer words of encouragement and praise, which helps to reassure the other person that they are valued and appreciated.

If I might make a suggestion, I believe that to truly turn a crisis into an opportunity, it would be beneficial to consider ways to turn the threat into an opportunity for the two of you to experience the test together or to show your charm, with the aim of becoming a unique existence in the eyes of the other person.

For instance, when my friend had numerous suitors, she was particularly drawn to my friend's thoughtful care and attentive companionship. These qualities ultimately led to her decision to marry him, though it's worth noting that his final career choice also played a significant role.

He hails from a rural area, and his family is hopeful that he can become a civil servant and bring honor to the family, given his writing abilities. He had initially planned to pursue this path, but then he learned that his girlfriend had already become a civil servant. If he were to choose the same path, it would present significant challenges for the two of them in Shanghai. He therefore opted to work in sales initially and start a business later, with the aim of creating more favorable economic conditions for both parties.

Ultimately, he was able to establish his own business, which provided his family with a stable financial foundation.

By seizing this opportunity, he demonstrated his sincerity and resolve, fostering a sense of ease and reliability in the other person, and instilling a sense of trust that would last a lifetime.

It may be said that what really impresses people is a person's sincerity and true heart, as well as their ability to devote time and experience to learning and managing intimacy.

You may find it helpful to study books and courses on intimacy, such as "Intimacy – A Bridge to the Soul," "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love," and "Intimacy Management."

Please feel free to refer to the above as you see fit. Wishing you well!

I just want to make one thing clear: whether or not you watch pornographic videos is up to you. Everyone has their own values and preferences, and these don't determine whether you're valuable or normal. Society often has certain universal patterns of behavior, but you don't have to follow them if you don't want to.

It's totally normal to feel isolated or like you've failed sometimes. We all do! These feelings can come from lots of different places, like comparing yourself to others, questioning your self-worth, or having trouble understanding your sexuality. When we feel this way, it's important to recognize that we need to take care of ourselves.

1. Social comparison: We all do it! We compare ourselves to others, but this comparison can sometimes have a negative impact. Try to find your own uniqueness and value, rather than trying to fit in with others.

2. Self-worth: You are worthy just as you are! Your value is not determined by the actions of others or the prevalence of watching porn. You have your own merits and qualities, and these are what define you.

3. Understanding of sexuality: Sexuality is a complex subject, and different cultures and individuals have different views on it. If you have any questions or are confused about sexuality, it's totally okay! You can find a trusted source or professional to get the right information and advice.

4. **Confession failure**: Don't fret! Failure is just a part of life. Every hiccup is an opportunity to learn and grow, and to help you better understand yourself and others.

5. Mental health: If you're feeling hopeless, it could be a sign of a mental health problem like depression. If you're thinking about suicide, please seek professional help right away.

If you're in China and you need help, you can reach out to some great resources. There's the Beijing Psychological Crisis Research and Intervention Center Hotline (Tel: 010-82951332) and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (Tel: 400-161-9995).

And finally, if you ever feel like you're different or don't fit certain social norms, remember that everyone is unique. Find people who support you, whether they're friends, family, or professionals. They can help you build your confidence and provide the necessary support.

You matter, and you deserve help and understanding.