Headache, anxiety cycle, want to relax and play but anxious, what to do?

Good day. I am Gu Daoxifeng, a heart exploration coach.

After reviewing the questioner's description, I empathize with the confusion they are experiencing. I would like to extend my support and understanding to the questioner.

[Regarding anxiety/overthinking-the-possibility-of-unlikelihood-leads-to-overly-conservative-decision-making-6494.html" target="_blank">decision-making]

After reading the questioner's description, I was reminded of a passage from "The Courage to Be Disliked." People often make the decision not to change and choose a new way of life. However, they may not be aware of the challenges that the new self will encounter or how to address the issues at hand. The future is unpredictable, and life may involve anxiety. There may also be a more challenging or unfortunate life awaiting the individual.

This may explain why the original poster ultimately decided to use the method of "procrastination" to solve the problem.

[About anxiety]

When eating, we tend to ruminate on the forthcoming night; when going to bed, we ruminate on the forthcoming day; when working, we ruminate on the forthcoming tasks. When we cannot concentrate, we may ruminate on everything but get nothing done.

It is challenging to maintain concentration when engaged in a task, potentially due to a discrepancy between one's ideal self and their actual self, and a lack of self-acceptance. This can lead to heightened anxiety about decision-making and behavior. When individuals are overly critical of themselves, it can be difficult to avoid feelings of anxiety.

[Regarding financial matters]

When financial resources are constrained, even minor expenditures may evoke feelings of guilt. Identifying the underlying reasons for your self-criticism can assist in making targeted adjustments, focusing on cost-effectiveness, and potentially reducing the sense of guilt in your home.

Your health is the foundation of a revolution. Without it, the many zeros that follow will lack meaning. If you are not healthy, no matter how much money you have, you may as well be someone else's. Consider Coco Lee's situation. It is unfortunate.

It is possible to attempt to utilize the available resources to their fullest extent. Each incremental gain is a source of satisfaction. It may not be necessary to achieve a specific outcome immediately. Investments can be made in areas within one's capabilities, such as reading, responding to inquiries, listening, and so on.

While spending money may not be the sole solution, not spending money and not adopting a strategy may hinder the ability to solve the problem. When considering the two options, will the questioner find it more acceptable to spend money?

[Regarding change]

It is advisable to focus on the present and avoid dwelling on the future. The future is inherently uncertain, particularly when there is a concern about the potential for future outcomes to not align with expectations. This can lead to anxiety and internal conflict.

When you lack the energy to invest in a task, it may be more productive to take a break and then resume with a refreshed perspective. This approach can enhance efficiency by allowing you to approach the task with a renewed focus.

It is important to note that external forces can only serve as a supplement. If the questioner is not fully committed to making a change and addressing their habits, even the most skilled counselor may face challenges in achieving the desired outcome. When the questioner is serious about making changes, they can perhaps start by shifting their mindset and infusing themselves with positive energy.

It is important to focus on one goal at a time. Human energy is limited. Attempting to do too many things at once, such as sending your resume to many companies or trying to have fun and find a job at the same time, can lead to distraction and a lack of focus, which in turn can cause internal conflict.

Some experts posit that the antithesis of depression is not happiness, but vitality. When we have expectations and goals in life, it will make it easier for us to arouse our love for life. The questioner can try to cultivate some interests and hobbies for themselves to input positive energy.

It is important to be more tolerant of yourself, accepting both your shortcomings and your strengths. When we do not accept ourselves, it may be difficult to feel positive emotions. If you imagine that you had to face someone you hated every day, would you be able to smile? Allowing yourself to try and make mistakes will make it easier for you to be more tolerant of yourself.

One possible reason for hesitating to make a decision is the fear of uncertainty. When you try to prepare for the worst, it may also be a kind of certainty. The questioner may assume that the worst has already happened. What are you going to do? This may help reduce the questioner's anxiety.

Believe in yourself, give yourself credit for your abilities, and recognize your value. This may help the individual to recognize the positive aspects of themselves and become more open to trying new things.

I would like to suggest the following reading material: "I'm Really Great" and "A Thought Turned."

Best regards,

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

There are so many ways to change yourself, grow yourself, and make yourself happy! Lots of people have found their way through reading, attending lectures, participating in public welfare activities, and participating in platform activities. So please believe that you can change, and also believe that your life and state will get better and better. But we need to take it slowly, accumulate energy, and do things that we can do now. Keep accumulating and taking one step at a time, and things will definitely get better and better!

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

You can choose whatever way is best for you to help and support yourself.

If counseling isn't the right fit for you and you're feeling overwhelmed, there's no pressure to do it. We've got your back! There are plenty of other ways to get the help you need, like the many options on our platform.

Hello! We'd love for you to join us at the reading club. It's a great way to listen to books at a low cost, and you can listen to them as many times as you'd like! There are so many great books, like "Coping with Anxiety," "Rebuilding Your Life," "A Thoughtful Turn," and "Living the Meaning of Life." These books can really inspire you! The reading club's interpretations are very practical and can help us learn how to apply the knowledge in these books to our own lives. This can help us change for the better! You can also ask questions here, or you can ask questions continuously or find a coach to have in-depth exchanges. This can help you understand yourself better and learn a lot of effective methods. You can also participate in discussions and exchanges in chat rooms and groups. The group format can also give you a lot of resources and support. You'll feel accepted and understood by the other members, which can make you stronger! You can also learn some courses to improve your knowledge and abilities and break down the obstacles and bottlenecks on your path to growth. You can also actively participate in platform activities, which don't cost you money and can reward you with lots of material things. The important thing is that you can heal yourself in the process of participating in activities. Of course, it's also a great idea to read some books on your own!

2. Be patient with yourself when it comes to change. It takes time, but you've got this! Have faith and believe that things will get better and better.

Absolutely! As you said, right now, you need to build up your energy, so we really need to be patient with ourselves. Imagine that the bathroom is just ahead, just five steps away. You can see it, but you can't get there. At this time, what we need to do is take the first step, then take the next step. Instead of thinking about taking five steps at once, we just take one step at a time.

Take one step at a time, my friend, and you will eventually reach the bathroom. By the same token, you can successfully move towards tomorrow and next year.

We just need to take things one step at a time, one footstep at a time. Do one thing well, do one thing that you can do right now. Let this thing drive you to do another thing. This will help you replace a vicious cycle with a virtuous cycle. You need to know that most of the great transformations have come from hundreds of insignificant, even imperceptible, small steps.

The great thing is, there are so many possibilities at every step!

It's really quite similar to answering questions here. At one time, I didn't have any answers at all! But since I started answering questions every day, I've not only grown and gained lots of life experience and insights, but I've also felt a real sense of accomplishment. This wonderful feeling will transfer to all aspects of my life, making me feel more fun, enthusiastic and confident when doing many things.

So, choose a point you want to change, do one thing you can do now, give yourself more patience and trust, and believe that it will definitely get better and better. You've got this!

3. The good news is that there are some really effective ways to relieve and improve headaches and anxiety.

In the book "Rebuilding Your Life," there's a list of the psychological causes of our physical problems that lead to problems, as well as new thinking patterns that can be adjusted and improved. For example, regarding headaches, the psychological causes that lead to problems are: self-worthlessness, self-criticism, and fear (see if this is the case?). The good news is that there are new thinking patterns that can help! Try thinking: I love myself and approve of myself. I look at myself and everything I do with love.

I love you just the way you are! I approve of you, and I look at you and everything you do with love.

I am safe. Another example is anxiety. The root cause of this is a lack of belief in the process and steps of life. The new way of thinking is: I love myself and approve of myself.

I truly believe in the process of life, and I know I'm safe.

Your mind and body are connected. When you can adjust your thinking patterns and replace old ideas with new beliefs, your physical state will also improve. So, you can often give yourself positive mental suggestions, use new thinking patterns, and keep practicing, and you will feel the change in your state.

And there are some great relaxation techniques you can use to help you out too! Whether it's a headache or anxiety, it's probably because you're feeling a bit tense and your sympathetic nerves are overactivated. So, you can use some methods to activate your parasympathetic nerves and bring your body and mind into a state of balance.

For example, we can try using abdominal breathing. When anxiety strikes, our breathing can get a little fast and shallow. Abdominal breathing can help us slow it down, relax our bodies, and bring calm to our minds.

Another great way to feel more relaxed is through progressive muscle relaxation training. When we're feeling anxious, our muscles can get a bit tense. Progressive muscle relaxation is a wonderful technique that can help to relax the body and make it feel lighter.

Finally, we can maintain regular aerobic exercise of sufficient intensity in our daily lives. It's so important to keep our bodies moving! Aerobic exercise can help us metabolize adrenal hormones, relieve skeletal muscle tension, and reduce anxiety. In fact, you can also combine regular body relaxation exercises with regular aerobic exercise. This can adjust body secretion, reduce anxiety levels, and help you feel more calm.

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you all the best!

After being laid off, I was anxious and unhappy. I got a headache from looking at the phone app for too long. I was looking for a job, feeling like I needed to escape, afraid, and putting things off.

You want to relax and go on a trip, but you feel anxious. When you encounter things and people outside your control, it's even more of a headache. You want to find a counselor, but you're worried that it won't be effective or that it will conflict with your trial work schedule.

You're torn between two sides. You're going through a tough time.

Let me give you a hug.

You were laid off, which has made you less confident. You're worried about the job search and being hurt at work. You're not sure what kind of job you want and you're lost. The hot weather and other things are also making you stressed.

I was also forced to leave my job. I had been recruited from school and joined a large company. After 13 years in my first job, I was forced to leave. I didn't think it would have a big impact on me, but it did.

If you work step by step, you can have a steady income. Without an income, you can only spend your savings, which makes people feel insecure. I started to frantically send my resume, but the current employment environment is bad. It is unfriendly to middle-aged people in their 30s. I chose the sales industry, hoping to take care of my family and my income.

I'm slowly getting used to it, but it's still better than staying home.

Sometimes I analyze myself. I have high expectations of myself, but I haven't achieved them yet, so I feel frustrated. This requires me to discover what I like and am good at. Changing careers requires a transition. The process is painful. You need to get out of your old comfort zone.

If it hurts, it's time for a change.

The ABC theory in psychology says that it's not the event itself (A) that determines the result of the behavior, but your perception (B).

I felt disgraced at first when I was laid off, but then I let go and realized it was just what it was. It gave me the opportunity to think clearly about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So it seemed to be an opportunity. After thinking about it this way, I realized I could talk about being laid off without embarrassment.

I have met many new people and things because I have tried different things. I have learned that the world is big. This process is wonderful.

Internal conflict means you have conflicting ideas that consume your energy and interest. You have to sort these ideas out. People can only give you input, but you have to do the sorting.

It's easy to set high expectations for ourselves and others. But in reality, life is finite, and so are our energies. We can only spend them on things that we feel are worthwhile. So try to let your mind go blank and think about what you really want. Find the things you care about and try to persevere.

This process may be long and repetitive, but as long as you keep moving, your mind will not be so anxious.

If you have savings, you can take a vacation to relax and then start looking for a job. You can also go to the hospital if you have a headache.

I'm Tianyang, a heart coach. Good luck!

First, I will offer you a hug, and then I will proceed to share my thoughts.

1. You have provided a detailed account of your current situation, which includes anxiety, headaches caused by anxiety, and a high level of negative emotions due to being wronged. You are aware that this is not an effective approach and are seeking a solution. However, you are concerned that investing financial resources may not yield the desired outcome, particularly given your current unemployment status and limited financial resources. Money is a primary source of security for individuals. The primary challenge is your lack of employment, which is causing financial anxiety. Securing employment is the most crucial step to alleviate your financial concerns and gradually restore your energy and self-confidence.

2. Currently, we are seeking employment but also seeking relaxation. This is an untenable position. We must choose between work and relaxation. Attempting to do both is ineffective. In life, we must prioritize and focus our energy. If your current state is not conducive to work, first relax and adjust. This will improve your performance. If you lack the financial resources to find a job, devote yourself to finding one. Choose one priority, and the other will naturally follow.

3. While watching videos on mobile phones provides a temporary sense of pleasure, this is often followed by an even greater inner emptiness. Excessive mobile phone use can indeed give people headaches. At home, we feel that nothing suits us, we worry about getting hurt, we want to do this and that, and at the same time we fear failure. Our attention is scattered, and we are easily self-doubting, caught in a deep internal conflict. Being laid off really hits our self-confidence, and at the same time finding a job is a very long process. During this process, we have to constantly comfort and encourage ourselves, because every interview we have is equivalent to us mustering the courage again, and every failure is equivalent to someone else knocking our confidence. There are indeed people in the world who become more courageous the more they are defeated, but they are the minority. Most people, after experiencing many setbacks, if they cannot adjust, will easily be unable to get back on their feet. At this time, they need the encouragement and support of the people around them.

4. People have an inherent drive to live and an equal drive to die. When we are not afraid of death, what are we afraid of? Change is challenging, and growing up is also difficult. The period before the dawn is often the most difficult. As long as we persevere, we will see the dawn of victory.

Best wishes for success!

1. Hello, questioner! I'm Rose, and I'm here to listen and walk with you through this!

From your writing, I can tell that you are currently feeling extremely helpless due to your confusion and sense of being at a loss. You also seem to be trapped in a painful situation by your own negative thinking. But don't worry! You can get out of it. You just need to start moving in the right direction.

This makes you think more negatively about yourself.

1. You say that life is only bitter.

I think this must be because you have experienced a lot of unhappy things, and that is why you see it this way. But you can change that!

It's all down to those countless experiences from the past that have shaped your outlook on life. You've seen the negative side of things and now you believe that's all there is to it.

Your brain is amazing! It works hard to keep you safe and sound, but sometimes it needs a break. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's easy to forget that your brain needs rest too. Not getting enough sleep can make you feel tired, low-spirited, and even more powerless. So, give your brain a break and get some good sleep!

But here's the thing: instead, it will make your negative thoughts even more negative! And that cycle will just keep on going.

Guess what? Anyone who spends a long time on their phone will easily get a headache!

2. Anxiety about work Let's conquer that anxiety about work together!

You've been putting off going to work, and in doing so, you're protecting yourself. You have a fear inside, and by not going out to work, you can avoid this fear. But you can also choose to face your fears head-on!

And this is how you choose to protect yourself!

The anxiety you feel from not working is the result of an inappropriate evaluation of yourself for not working. But there's a solution!

These two things are at odds in your mind, leaving you with a big decision to make! It's okay to feel anxious, but you can take control and make a choice that will lead you to a better place. You might be afraid of the things you fear, but you can conquer those fears and become stronger than you ever thought possible!

All problems will not disappear on their own, but they will disappear if you are willing to take action and face them head-on! Once you do, they will automatically be overcome.

And the best part is, anxiety is also broken after you take action, and the original pattern will also be changed!

You also said in your text that you know you should act, but just can't bring yourself to do it. So, why not stop acting for now? Accept yourself for not wanting to act, and don't judge yourself.

Just enjoy the choice you make to do what you want, live your life to the fullest, observe the little beauties in life, and go out and see the real people and things in your environment. All of this will inspire and touch your soul—and it's going to be amazing!

3. If you want to see a counselor, go for it!

The great thing is, whether it's a psychological counselor or the self-healing we choose in our daily lives, they're all tools for self-growth that simply assist us in living a normal life and developing ourselves. And how one's life runs is all up to you!

The amazing thing about counseling and healing is that they can work wonders for us if we're willing to change and make ourselves better able to live!

For the counseling you did, some counseling is said to be short-term and long-term, and you feel that it is not effective. But from a different perspective, you were able to step out of your past patterns and come to the counselor, talking sincerely about your things with others, instead of being in self-anxiety. This in itself is a new experience and growth!

The amazing effect of counseling is long-term, if you want to make a big change. This is because it requires you to constantly discover your inappropriate perceptions and learn to practice the correct perceptions, which are all time-consuming processes.

People change slowly, but they change!

4. Your anxiety about life and money

In fact, a person's unpleasant life experiences can cause various psychological discomfort, and there is really no single cause of discomfort, but rather many factors. This is because the human being is a complex entity—and that's a good thing!

You have the power to break free from the limitations you have placed on yourself! It's time to experience life with your heart and spend money normally. You can choose how to live your life. Evaluate yourself from both a negative and a positive perspective.

Once you judge yourself, you're doing the greatest harm in the world!

First of all, no matter what you do, accept yourself as you are! You can choose how to live your life. We can evaluate ourselves, but we must do so from both a negative and a positive perspective.

Our shortcomings are the driving force for improvement, and our strengths are the way to boost our confidence!

Second, cultivate your own hobbies! If you don't want to spend money, then choose one that doesn't cost money. As long as you take action to experience happiness and get out of your old, fixed negative patterns, you will make new discoveries and have a positive opinion of yourself!

And again, remember all those amazing things you've done in the past! They'll boost your self-confidence. And look after yourself and nourish your energy, and you'll be bursting with motivation to get things done!

The world and I love you! I wish you all the best!

Hello! I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down. Life is full of challenges and disappointments, but it's also full of amazing opportunities and chances to grow. We all feel overwhelmed sometimes, but that's just our bodies telling us to take a break and recharge. And you know what? That's totally normal!

But, honey, you have to believe that you are definitely not alone in this battle!

I totally get it! Those headaches and anxiety are no joke. It's true that long-term mental stress and negative emotions can have a significant impact on the body.

I'm sure you'll find some relaxation methods, such as deep breathing, meditation, or listening to some soothing music, really help you! And don't forget to maintain a regular routine and eat a healthy diet!

Regarding job hunting, I know it can be hard, especially when you feel lost and anxious. But I promise you, if you believe in your abilities and value, you will definitely find a job that suits you!

Before the interview, you can prepare well by learning about the company's background, the requirements of the position, and your own strengths. This will help you present yourself more confidently during the interview!

It's totally normal to feel a little anxious about finding a job. But remember, every attempt you make is helping you gain experience, and every setback is bringing you closer to the perfect job for you!

Don't worry too much about your confidence and energy being depleted! People are adaptable and resilient, and you are no exception.

It's so important to make time for yourself between job searches. Even if it costs a little money, it's an investment in your future! You'll be better equipped to face subsequent challenges when you're feeling relaxed and entertained.

I highly recommend psychological counseling! It can be challenging to find a counselor who's the perfect fit, but don't let that stop you. Just take that first step and you'll surely find the right help for you!

And guess what? Psychological counseling doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and patience, but if you persevere, you'll reap unexpected results!

And don't worry too much about money! Sometimes we may need to make short-term sacrifices for long-term happiness and growth, but it'll all be worth it in the end!

Believe in yourself! Work hard and you can create a bright future.

It's time to adjust your way of thinking! Don't get stuck in black-and-white dilemmas. For example, when looking for a job, there are many possible situations and stages in between the two extremes of immediately finding the perfect job or never being able to find one.

Finally, I want to tell you that no matter what difficulties and challenges you encounter, please don't give up on yourself. You have unlimited potential and possibilities! As long as you face and overcome them bravely, you will definitely usher in a better tomorrow!

You've got this! Stay strong! (。♥‿♥)