Hopeless for ideal career planning, but unable to learn and pass the examination for a unit. How to cope with the pain?

Dear Question Asker, I empathize with your current situation. It is challenging to navigate career planning and the ambiguity of exams.

Please do not be too critical of yourself. We all experience periods of low performance, and you are currently in one.

First and foremost, I want to reassure you that you are not alone. Your feelings and struggles are genuine and significant.

Do not doubt your own value. We are all unique and possess our own distinctive talents. Your value is not contingent on your work or exam results alone; it is intrinsic to your very existence as a person.

Regarding career planning, I understand this is a significant concern for you. You have indicated a lack of interest in pursuing opportunities within the system, yet you also perceive a lack of viable alternatives.

The reality is that the world is diverse and vast, and there are numerous other possibilities beyond working within the system. You may wish to consider learning about other industries or fields to identify potential opportunities that may be more aligned with your interests and skills.

Additionally, enhancing your skills and abilities will bolster your competitiveness and pave the way for identifying your optimal career path.

I am aware that you are currently dissatisfied with the exam. However, there are instances when we must pursue our objectives through means that are not personally preferred.

If feasible, you may wish to consider adjusting your mindset to view the exam as a challenge rather than an obstacle. Additionally, you may benefit from identifying effective learning methods to enhance your efficiency and reduce your stress levels.

Furthermore, I would like to remind you that your family environment may have had an impact on your emotions and behavior. If you feel that you cannot deal with these problems on your own, you may wish to consider seeking professional psychological counseling.

They can provide more detailed, expert advice and assistance to help you better manage your current situation.

Please consider the following specific suggestions:

1. It is recommended that you identify methods to relax and regulate your emotions. These may include deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These methods can help you relieve anxiety and stress and face problems with greater calm.

2. Establish incremental objectives and pursue them in a systematic manner. For instance, you might initially set a goal of studying for a specified duration each day and then gradually extend that study time.

Setting smaller, more achievable goals will provide greater motivation to achieve them and demonstrate your own progress.

3. Extend your network and connect with individuals who share similar interests and goals. They can offer guidance and motivation, as well as provide insights into new opportunities and information.

4. Maintain a positive attitude and confidence. Despite the current difficulties, if you persevere, you will undoubtedly identify a suitable solution.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that, regardless of the difficulties and challenges you are currently facing, it is important to maintain a positive outlook and continue striving for success. Believe in your ability to overcome these obstacles and achieve your goals.

I hope you will soon be able to extricate yourself from your current situation and enjoy the happiness and success that are rightfully yours.

There's no one right path in life. Everyone has the right to choose the way of life that feels most meaningful and in line with their own unique qualities. From what you've shared, I can sense your confusion, pain, and uncertainty about the future.

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're facing big life decisions. And remember, you're not alone. Lots of people are going through similar things right now.

First, I totally get how stressful exams and exam prep can be. They're a way to assess our knowledge and skills, but they're not the only measure of our value and abilities.

If exams are really a big deal for you and you hate them, forcing yourself to prepare for them will only make things worse. Have you thought about trying to find some other ways to achieve your goals? You could try improving your abilities and skills through internships, project experience, or online learning.

This way, you can avoid the constraints of exams and plan your career development with greater flexibility.

Second, I know job hunting is tough. I'm here to tell you not to give up!

You can try to expand the scope and channels of job hunting, such as through social media, recruitment websites, or even introductions from friends to find more opportunities. At the same time, you can also improve your job hunting skills, such as optimizing your resume and preparing for interviews.

You've got this! Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared. As long as you maintain a positive attitude and take action, I believe you will be able to find a job that suits you.

I know that your family of origin has caused you a lot of stress and distress. But please believe that you have the ability to change your life and destiny.

You can gradually achieve financial independence through hard work and wealth accumulation, which will help you break free from the shackles of your family of origin. At the same time, you can also seek professional psychological counseling to help you better handle family relationships and emotional issues.

And finally, I just want to say that life isn't always smooth sailing. We'll all face setbacks and difficulties, but these are also chances for us to grow and improve!

Please don't be too hard on yourself or get too down. It's okay to accept things as they are and face them head on. You can try to find some new hobbies or get involved in some social activities to make your life more fun and bring you more happiness.

In short, your life is your own, and you have every right to choose the lifestyle you want. Don't let anyone or anything hold you back from pursuing your dreams and goals. You've got this!

I truly believe that as long as you keep a positive outlook and take action, you will absolutely find your own happiness and success.

I also think it would be really helpful for you to talk to your friends, family, or professionals about how you're feeling. They might be able to give you some great advice and support to help you cope with what you're going through.

In addition, I just wanted to say that everyone's psychological state is unique, and we can't really judge whether someone is sick based on what others think or our own feelings. If you feel like you have psychological problems or need professional help, I'm sure a professional counselor or doctor would be happy to help.

They'll take a good look at you and come up with a plan to help you out.

And finally, I just want to say that life isn't a competition. There's no need to compare yourself to others or chase so-called "success." Every life is different, and it's so important to find a rhythm and approach that suits you. Live your own wonderful life!

So, please don't worry any more about meeting other people's expectations or pursuing what might not be the best path for you. Believe in yourself and the future, and you will definitely find your own happiness and satisfaction.

I really hope these suggestions will help you in some way. Just remember, no matter what difficulties and challenges you face, never give up on yourself.

Your life is your own, and you have every right to choose the lifestyle you want. Go for it, believe in yourself, and I know you'll be able to live your life to the fullest!

Hello there!

You're dealing with depression and are taking medication. Now, you've hit a bit of a snag: you need to find a job after graduating from university. Finding a job is a toughie that takes a lot of your energy.

You're really eager to find a job to escape your family, and you also want to find a more ideal job. I can tell you're really tired, sweetie.

She hugs you from a distance, hoping you can feel a little warmth.

Your mom is really concerned about your health, and she's encouraging you to study for exams. It's totally understandable that you're feeling so tired and run down that you don't have the energy to study and prepare for exams.

Your mother's urging can only make you do it reluctantly, which is totally understandable! This kind of preparation, which is so energy-consuming, is really painful for you and brings you only endless stress and a deep sense of powerlessness.

Depression has a way of tying you in place, doesn't it?

Let's talk about your relationship with your mom.

The mother-child relationship is really important, so your mom's advice is super helpful! She wants to guide you with the solutions she used in the past, but you and she are different individuals. What worked for her may not work for you, and that's okay!

Your mom is just trying to help, and it's up to you whether you listen or not. She might be really passionate about guiding you, and she might try different ways to influence you. It's totally up to you to decide what's best for you.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help. Try to block it out as much as possible, take a moment to discern your own inner feelings, and remember to do the things you want to do and avoid the things you don't want to do. You've got this!

It might be tough, but you can try to ignore your mother's advice and put yourself first. That way, you can make your own independent judgments and choices.

It can be tough to tell the difference between what's your mom's choice and what's yours. But you can do it! Take responsibility for your own choices and be ready to face the consequences.

What if the job you find isn't exactly what you're looking for?

We all know there's always a gap between our ideals and reality. Ideals are beautiful, but reality is reality.

We all deserve to find a job that makes us happy! And we don't have to stick with the same job forever. Just be sure to choose a job that you can tolerate for a while.

After you've been working for a little while, if you find a new job that's a little more ideal, you can quit your current job and take the new one. You might find that the more jobs you change, the more you'll be able to align yourself with your ideals.

Nobody can guarantee that you'll find a job you can do forever. We can't, and neither can a job.

Depression.

It's like a big, beautiful mind map. You're used to taking one of the paths, and at the end of the trail, there's a sign saying "depression."

When thoughts start to restrict you, weigh you down, and sap your energy, you can try to become aware of this. When you become aware of thoughts that are taking you down the depressive path, you can call a halt, and you'll be back on the right track in no time!

Then, you'll see that there are so many different ways of thinking! For example, you can find a counselor and follow them as they slowly open up a new way of thinking. Once you find this new way of thinking, perhaps the old ideas will flow more smoothly, and you'll be less likely to go down that depressive, winding path.

You know what? Change happens!

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Hello. I can see that you have faced many challenges over the past few years. It is admirable that you have been working hard to overcome these difficulties and strive for the life you want.

Your ability to take medication to stabilize your depression and complete your postgraduate studies is the result of your own personal struggle and preparation for your future development.

The current pain may be partly due to the frustration and anxiety caused by unsuccessful job hunting, but it is also likely to be the result of a feeling of being "forced" to do things and being passive. You hope to be able to choose your own path in life and career direction. When your family members don't understand and demand that you study and take the civil service exam, you feel that your autonomy is being denied. It seems that not doing what they want is abnormal, and that you cannot have your own independent will and your own choices.

You feel unable to accept this internally, but also find it challenging to escape, which can lead to a deep sense of powerlessness.

The employment environment over the past two years has indeed been challenging, and it is a problem that affects the whole society. Both graduates and experienced workers are facing difficulties finding jobs and slow career advancement. It is normal to feel pressure, but we can remind ourselves not to attribute temporary setbacks to ourselves and think that there is something wrong with our abilities. We just need to find ways to adapt to the external environment, in which some factors are beyond our control.

At the same time, you may wish to consider adjusting your strategy in terms of career planning. For example, you could make choices with the mindset of "short-term trade-offs and long-term integration," setting your ideal career as a long-term goal and then looking at what options are available in the short and medium term. These choices may not be able to achieve your ideal in one step, but they may provide you with the opportunity to increase your resources and help you get closer to your ideal step by step. For example, social experience, work practice, income, connections... After accumulating more resources, we may feel more empowered to face and solve the problems in life.

If you're not interested in taking the civil service exam, you might want to consider looking for a transitional job, such as a local position or a part-time job, to gain some work experience and earn some income. Who could you ask for help in finding a job? Perhaps friends, family, teachers, classmates, or other connections could be a good place to start.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider learning some new skills based on your future direction before finding a more satisfying job.

Regarding the family's incomprehension and pressure, you might consider communicating with them to let them know that you have your own goals and are willing to continue working hard for them, but you need your own space to make choices. If they are unable to understand, it may be due to their personal growth environment and their respective limitations.

It may be helpful to remember that it's not realistic to expect them to change. It might be more beneficial to focus on your own goals and to view the current distractions as external factors. At this stage, it may be necessary to accept them, but with time, you will be able to create your own space.

Hello, question asker, I am Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu, your Heart Exploration coach.

I sense the questioner's feelings of helplessness and resistance through the screen, which is truly heartbreaking. I would like to offer the questioner a comforting embrace.

From what I've read, people who get depressed tend to care too much about other people's expectations and can sometimes be seen as obedient children. I'm not sure if the plan of the questioner to take the master's exam and the civil service exam is something he has chosen to do for himself or something he feels he needs to do to meet the expectations of those around him.

If it's the former, there's a good chance that the probability of depression is actually quite low, as there is a clear goal in the plan and it is relatively easy to gain a sense of accomplishment. If it's the latter, it's not uncommon for the questioner to feel bored and to resist.

I would like to quote a popular meme that has been liked 93,000 times:

After seeing so many doctors and taking so many medicines, it may be worth considering that quitting your job could be an effective way to improve your health.

It may be helpful to consider that it's beneficial to leave an environment that doesn't align with your needs, whether you're a student or a worker.

Perhaps there are other ways to achieve the same result. It would be helpful to know whether the questioner prefers to take on responsibilities independently or if they would feel more comfortable discussing their thoughts with their family. Given the choice between remaining in the system and having a healthy child, it seems likely that the questioner's parents would prefer the latter. It might be helpful to talk to your parents about your feelings to gain a different perspective.

It is understandable that the current economic situation is challenging, and finding employment can be difficult. Perhaps it would be helpful for the questioner to reflect on their own job search experiences. Did they use a single resume for all applications, or did they tailor their resume to each position? Did they experience any difficulties in finding a position that met their expectations?

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider analysing the problem in order to adjust their direction.

It is worth noting that only a minority of people are affected by this system, and the vast majority of people continue to work step by step. This may help the questioner to feel that there is still hope in life and that they have achieved something. By turning your thoughts outward, you can help the questioner to focus on solutions and avoid internal conflict.

It might be helpful to consider that surviving and then developing could give the questioner a sense of empowerment. I came out of school with no money, took any job I could find, borrowed a few hundred from a good friend, paid rent on credit, and got through the most difficult time. It might be a way for the questioner to quickly physically separate from their family of origin.

It might be helpful to try to separate the issues. Times are changing, as are mindsets. Parents' views on career choices at that time are very different from ours now, and it is not surprising that there is a generation gap. This is not anyone's fault, but a change in circumstances. It's possible that this will help the questioner feel less resentful towards her mother.

It might be helpful to try to understand the age range for physical fitness examinations. If the questioner really doesn't feel comfortable working outside, it might be worth considering whether it would be possible to come back and prepare for the examination within the system. It could be beneficial to try to think from a different perspective, as this might help to identify a way out of the predicament.

Perhaps the most powerful force is love. It may be helpful to try to love yourself well and follow your heart's choices, as this can help us feel freer. It might be beneficial for the questioner to try to care less about the parental issues, as they are the demands of the parents, not the questioner. The questioner is responsible for their own life issues, and it may be helpful for the questioner to take responsibility for their own choices and have a say.

You might find it helpful to try keeping an emotional diary and a gratitude diary. The former may help you recognize emotional states, while the latter may help you cultivate positive thinking, reduce catastrophic and all-or-nothing thinking, and avoid negative thinking.

P.S. We may experience a particularly challenging time, a sense of powerlessness and confinement in which we feel unable to step outside of ourselves and let the sunshine in. It might be helpful to try changing your mindset and asking yourself, "If I do this, what is the worst that could happen? Could I accept that result?"

If the answer is yes, then you may wish to consider unburdening yourself and taking the first step.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: "The Third Alternative," "The Courage to Be Disliked," and "Living a Life You Don't Control."

I wish you the best!

I want you to know that you are not alone. Many people experience difficulties and challenges in life, including finding a job and coping with depression. But you can do it!

These difficulties don't mean you're sick or mentally ill. They're just part of life! And everyone needs to face and solve their own problems.

Finding a job is an exciting adventure! Take a deep breath and look at your situation and strengths with fresh eyes. You can try new things and find a position and company that suits you perfectly.

And there's more! You can also increase your competitiveness by improving your skills and experience. Plus, maintaining a positive attitude and taking action is key. Don't let anxiety or self-blame get in your way!

With depression, you can absolutely conquer it! You just need to continue to adhere to treatment and manage your emotions. Antidepressants can help control symptoms and improve emotional states, but they also need to be combined with psychotherapy and lifestyle adjustments.

If you feel that you cannot handle this problem alone, you may wish to seek support and assistance from family, friends, or professionals—and I'm here to help you do just that!

And finally, I want to remind you to never give up on your dreams! You are unique and valuable, and with hard work and persistence, you will find your path to success.

No matter what difficulties and challenges you encounter, you must maintain confidence and courage. Believe in yourself and know that you can overcome and triumph!