How can I deal with my boyfriend's jealousy because of my sexual history?

Good day.

As a mindfulness coach, I believe that learning is the greatest asset we possess.

From your description, I can discern your inner concerns, anxieties, discomfort, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

I will not delve into the specifics of your difficulties with your boyfriend's jealousy regarding your sexual experiences. However, I would like to offer three pieces of advice:

Firstly, it would be beneficial to gain a deeper understanding of your own thoughts and emotions, and to provide yourself with some much-needed comfort.

This will help you to consider how you can help your boyfriend feel more at ease with you.

You have indicated that you engaged in sexual activities with your former partner but not with your current one. This has caused your current partner to become jealous. However, he is highly demanding of himself and does not allow himself to be jealous. Your current partner's state of mind negatively affects you because he hates that he is jealous of you. In fact, your current partner's state of mind is understandable because if you truly love someone, you certainly don't want them to hate you because of you. Therefore, you should try to understand and comfort yourself a little. "See" the anxious part of yourself that wants to help your current partner get over his jealousy but doesn't know how to do it for the time being. This will take your mind off other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

It is also important to note that allowing yourself to understand and accept yourself will facilitate change in the current situation. This may seem contradictory, but it is based on the premise that change is contingent upon allowing for no change.

Secondly, I recommend that you adopt a rational perspective on your own situation.

Rational thinking can assist in developing a deeper understanding of oneself and the surrounding reality.

To gain a rational perspective on the situation, it is essential to undertake the following three steps:

First, it is important to recognize that your boyfriend's feelings of jealousy and subsequent disapproval of your emotional state are both normal and understandable.

When you gain an understanding of your own state, you will likely gain insight into your boyfriend's state of mind. His jealousy is likely driven by his love for you, while his reluctance to be jealous stems from his high standards for himself, which are influenced by his narcissistic tendencies. By accepting and understanding him, you can also encourage him to accept and understand himself. This will facilitate his transformation.

Secondly, it is important to understand that the fact of your having had sexual experiences is not something that can be changed. When you come to accept this, it will also help your boyfriend's state of mind to change, because when he accepts the reality, he will likely have the strength to change.

Third, recognize that the current situation can be altered because you have the capacity to do so.

When you implement changes, your boyfriend's state can also change, as there is always a mutual influence between you.

A rational assessment of the situation may help resolve any negative emotions.

I recommend that you concentrate on your own situation and consider what you can do to improve your own circumstances.

When you conduct a rational assessment of the situation, you may also be able to identify the appropriate course of action. At this juncture, it is advisable to focus on your own needs and strive to implement the necessary changes.

For instance, in the event that your partner displays negative emotions such as hatred, it may be beneficial to communicate that it is not uncommon for individuals in romantic relationships to experience jealousy. This approach could potentially lead to an improvement in their emotional state, as it demonstrates acceptance and understanding.

Additionally, you can inform your boyfriend that your previous sexual experiences are solely a reflection of your past and that your current focus is on your relationship with him. This communication can help him resolve any negative emotions he may be experiencing, as it demonstrates your willingness to prioritize his feelings and show him that he is valued and cared for.

It is also possible to discuss the future with your boyfriend when he is in a bad mood. This will shift his attention from your past to your present and future, which is beneficial to the development of your relationship.

It would also be beneficial to demonstrate more concern for him and take action to show your love, as this is likely to reduce his feelings of jealousy. In short, you should be aware that you have the capacity to take steps to enhance the situation.

Once action is initiated, the various negative emotions will naturally be resolved gradually, as action is sometimes the enemy of negative emotions.

However, I would like to remind you that it is not necessary to take action simply because your boyfriend is in a bad mood. Doing so will result in your attention being focused on him exclusively, which will have a detrimental impact on the relationship.

It should be noted that this advice does not imply that you should ignore your partner. It is important to take care of yourself so that you have the energy to address your partner's negative emotions.

I hope this information is helpful. If you would like to discuss further, please click "Find a Coach" at the bottom of the page and I will be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Dear question asker, It is evident from your words that you are experiencing ambivalence about sexual intimacy with your current partner and that you are overwhelmed by feelings of jealousy. I will present my perspective on this matter and hope that my response will be illuminating.

Firstly, it would be advisable to communicate with your boyfriend and inform him that jealousy is a normal behavioural response. It is important to note that jealousy is akin to other emotions such as anger, resentment, happiness and joy. Furthermore, it would be beneficial to express to him that you would also experience feelings of jealousy if he were to become overly attached to other women. It would be helpful to encourage him to accept his feelings of jealousy. It is important to recognise that both men and women can experience jealousy, however, they do so in different ways. Jealousy can be seen as a form of self-protection, preventing betrayal. Men are more likely to experience sexual jealousy, whereas women are more likely to feel emotionally jealous.

When individuals experience feelings of jealousy, their brains will involuntarily generate images, and these images, even if they are not supported by evidence, will involuntarily come to mind more often. This phenomenon is attributed to errors in cognitive thinking. Jealousy thinking is comprised of four components: core cognition, rule-making, judgment bias, and anxiety and rumination.

One may attempt to communicate with the individual in question more frequently, consider the relationship from a developmental perspective, and maintain the belief that the relationship will continue to improve. Secondly, it is recommended to alter the individual's core beliefs and establish rules, while avoiding allowing him to become excessively preoccupied with a biased way of thinking. Thirdly, it is advised to communicate with the individual while employing a dialectical approach to thinking, which avoids the use of absolute, binary distinctions.

It is recommended that the anxious behavior exhibited by the individual be modified and that he be prevented from entering a rumination situation, which is defined as becoming overly involved in a negative emotion.

It would be beneficial to encourage your partner to accept himself in the context of jealousy. Once this has been achieved, it would be helpful to encourage him to immerse himself in his own world, focus on the present, and attempt to come to terms with his jealousy. To facilitate this process, it may be helpful to consider the following: Why does the emotion of jealousy exist? Once this has been established, it would be constructive to describe the ways in which you two interact with each other that are related to jealousy. This will help him to feel that you are always by his side, never leaving, which will also provide him with a sense of security.

Jealousy is an indicator of the significance one ascribes to another individual and the value placed on the principles of commitment, honesty, devotion, and love. It is, therefore, imperative to afford oneself the autonomy to engage in behaviors associated with love, intimacy, romance, and loyalty. Jealousy serves to illustrate the depth of the bond and the extent to which one's partner may be susceptible to its dissolution.

I wish you the best of success.

The world and I love you.

Hello, question asker!

I have carefully read your question, understood your current confusion, and know your urgent feelings. You want to do something to strengthen your relationship. You will do it. Hugs!

I don't know how old you are or how long you've been dating your current boyfriend. You said you're in a different city, but how long have you been dating him? Distance can be romantic, but I'm not sure if the love you expressed here can stand the test of long-term togetherness.

I apologize for saying these things here, but I feel compelled to share my thoughts because I'm afraid of you. Distance creates beauty and love for each other is magnified. You said here that your boyfriend should be more understanding about your past sexual experiences. He even imagined you kissing your ex in his head, which is an example of emotional magnification. If it is difficult to reconcile, it is a particularly thorny matter.

In psychology, there's a saying: Who suffers? Who seeks help?

Who asks for help? Who changes? I'll tell you who: the person who is ready to change their own attitude. You have to find a way to change yourself.

I'm going to tell you how to change.

First of all, you need to face the situation of being apart. You need to seriously consider the extent of your love for each other. You need to see if your boyfriend's jealousy of you is because he really loves you or because he is particularly possessive and male chauvinist. Sometimes, when two people are in a relationship, they think it's love. But when they enter into family life, that's control and possessiveness. You need to observe the true character of your boyfriend.

Second, your experience is the whole you. You haven't done anything wrong. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will accept you for who you are. If he doesn't, and he's suffering from exaggerated jealousy, that's a problem with his character. We know that it's hard to change a bad temper, and it's really not easy to change. He's made up his mind to change, but it's not necessarily easy, and you can help him even less. So, you need to calm down and take a step back. It's more beneficial to look at your situation from the position of an outsider, which may be more conducive to your decision-making.

Let me be clear: he is not being demanding of himself. He is jealous of you because he loves you. The more jealous he is, the more he loves you. This may move you, and you may feel that you love him even more. But this is not the case. Jealousy may be real, but if he really loves you, he will accept you for who you are. Extreme jealousy is not the answer. Be prepared for it and look at it correctly. He hates himself extremely, and his extreme hatred of himself is really not entirely for you.

You will handle this problem if you can correctly understand it and keep a clear mind. Sort out your thoughts and lead a happier life in the future.

The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your account, I can see how confused you are. What's done is done, but on the one hand you don't want to lose your boyfriend, so you're at your wits' end and can only seek help on a platform, right?

If someone cares a lot about your past sexual experiences, it's probably because they're either very young and haven't had sex themselves, so they want you to be as "pure" as they are, or they're just a bit narrow-minded.

A mature person won't obsessively pursue your past. Someone who loves you for who you are, not just your body, will accept your past. He'll respect your past because he understands that everyone has one. He'll love you for your mind and soul, not just your body. (The questioner's situation is a bit different from mine because I have no sexual experience.)

In fact, sexual experience is a person's private matter. Most people choose to be honest because they love each other, not because they feel they have to disclose every detail of their past.

It can be tough for anyone to open up about their past. Those who choose to do so must also hope that their past will be accepted and not used as a bargaining chip to belittle and dislike them.

It's important to remember that boundaries and acceptance levels can vary from couple to couple.

Not all couples are ready to share all their secrets. For most people, it's better to leave some space for each other. This is probably true for most couples, but it might be different for those who are just getting to know each other, like the questioner.

Finally, for those who already know each other's past but feel unable to accept it,

What's done is done. It won't affect the present or the future. Everyone has their own past, and the only thing that will affect this relationship is your unbalanced jealousy. Since you really love her, then try to focus on the present. That means letting go of others and also yourself at the same time.

So, why is the boyfriend jealous?

At the end of the day, love is about "possession." We all want to be the only one in the other person's life.

So, when we fall in love, it's only natural to want to know about our partner's past romantic experiences.

When you start to think about your partner's past, it can lead to negative feelings like anger, annoyance, and disgust. These feelings can intensify and become more unpredictable.

The boyfriend's mentality is actually caught in "retroactive jealousy." Even though he knows his lover has nothing to do with the past, he's still mentally jealous.

So, what should you do?

Take a moment to think about whether the relationship is really important to you.

If it's a sure thing, then focus on managing your emotions in the moment.

Focus on your current girlfriend. Think about what you want from each other in the relationship and how you can be happier and more comfortable.

2. Make sure you're communicating with your partner regularly.

You can be open about your feelings and try to gain the other person's understanding. Based on what you both need from the relationship, you can look at ways of working together and making changes, which can help you feel more secure with each other.

It's not so much about what happened in the past, but how you handle the present.

Instead of dwelling on the past, try to focus on loving each other and cherishing the present.

If your partner is still struggling to move on, try not to worry or get upset. Be patient and understanding.

You might also suggest some relevant books for him to read, and he could even consider psychological counseling. These options might be helpful!

Wishing you the best!

Your comments indicate that you and your current partner have faced challenges regarding sexual experience. Motivated by love and commitment to your relationship, you posted on the platform with the intention of providing support to your boyfriend on this matter, aiming to maintain the stability of your relationship.

This starting point is a kind of benign accumulation in love. It helps you find a way to anchor each other with peace of mind when facing the storms of love.

The following sharing is for you. It will broaden your thinking and provide you with support.

First, understand that men are influenced by social culture and are therefore likely to be concerned about their girlfriends' sexual experiences.

The boyfriend imagines kissing scenes and hates himself because he is jealous. This reflects the process of wrestling between personal characteristics, self-reflection, and the subtle social and cultural environment.

Most men are given the social script when they are born, which states that their girlfriend must have no sexual experience. When everything is harmonious between you, but the sexual experience does not meet the expectations of this script, such confrontations and conflicts will seem extremely intense and powerless.

The intensity lies in the fact that there is an imperfection in the otherwise harmonious relationship between you. The powerlessness lies in the fact that it all happened before he came, and his anger and fists can only hit an empty past.

Second, communicate with your boyfriend and relieve his distress.

From the start, you need to communicate with your boyfriend and relieve his distress.

He has high expectations of himself and hates himself because he is jealous.

He knows his jealousy is unreasonable, but he can't stop feeling it. This leaves him at a loss.

Your sexual experiences are also a trigger for his emotions, which involve you in this suffering.

You can communicate and express your care for him, showing him that he has no control over the past, the present, or the future you can build together.

When a person is caught up in jealousy, it's easy to develop a narrow sense of awareness.

Narrow-mindedness is a term used to describe a narrowing of the scope of cognitive activity, inhibition of rational analysis, and weakening of self-control. This ultimately leads to a loss of control over one's actions, which can result in reckless behavior. (Etymology explained from Baidu Baike)

You need someone who can help you see the big picture and not just the immediate, emotional reaction to jealousy.

Love comes in many forms. Don't get into the nitty-gritty of your past sexual experiences with your ex. It will only add to the endless troubles and take away the sweetness of your love. When your boyfriend realizes that he has a lot of initiative in your relationship now, and that you can also work together to build the future you want, that feeling of losing control over the past will also be alleviated.

Troubles in love are the norm. What matters is how you deal with them.

In your message, you showed your boyfriend what it looks like to take the initiative and address his concerns head-on. This is the start of a strong and healthy relationship.

Similarly, the incident of a sexual experience with the ex is not a problem in itself. The key is how the boyfriend views the matter and how you work together to deal with the upheaval it brings to your relationship.

When both parties work together to deal with problems, they become the glue that strengthens the relationship.

You've got this. I'm rooting for you.

Hello! I can relate to your current state of mind and that of your boyfriend. It's not uncommon for jealousy to arise from sex in relationships, and it can be a complex emotion, leading to feelings of unease, bitterness, impulsiveness, remorse, and more.

First of all, I admire your courage in confessing to your boyfriend about your sexual experience with your ex. It shows that you love and trust your current boyfriend, which is admirable. It is also understandable that your current boyfriend feels jealous. As long as the jealousy is within a suitable range, for example, it does not cause too much inconvenience and trouble in the lives of both parties, then it is normal.

If you feel that your boyfriend's jealousy has reached a point that is difficult to tolerate, it might be helpful to consider whether he displays any symptoms of excessive control or paranoia.

From your description, it seems that your boyfriend is experiencing a normal range of jealousy. It's understandable that he would feel self-blame because of this, as it's natural to distrust one's partner when feelings of jealousy arise. It's also important to consider that this can cause distress for both parties involved. It's crucial to remember that a person who is willing to consider their partner's thoughts and feelings, and a person with a normal sense of morality, would not exhibit signs of being a control freak, paranoid, or sociopathic.

This is only my initial assessment based on the limited information you have provided. It would be beneficial to observe the situation more closely to gain a better understanding.

It is important to consider the potential risks associated with a new romantic interest, particularly for one's personal safety. When we are in love, we can sometimes be easily deceived. It would be ideal if all girls in the world could first fall in love in a safe environment, and then address other considerations.

It seems that your current boyfriend's jealousy stems not only from his feelings of rivalry with your ex-boyfriend and his possessiveness, but also from his insecurities. You mentioned that you are now in different places, and I am not fully aware of the foundation of your relationship. If you haven't known each other for long, and you are in different places, and you are jealous of your ex, it is understandable that you might be preoccupied with these thoughts. Coupled with a sense of injustice (you had a relationship with your ex, but not with your current boyfriend),

Given your current circumstances, I hope I can offer some advice and suggestions that might be helpful.

It might be unwise to initiate sexual relations in order to compensate for your boyfriend's feelings of injustice, jealousy and insecurity. Perhaps it would be better to view sex as a symbol of love rather than a resource for exchange.

It might be helpful to consider that if you use sex as a means of exchanging trust, it may not be a resource that is valued by the other person, or even your love.

It might be best to avoid disclosing more details about your ex-boyfriend to your current boyfriend. While you are brave and honest, it is also important to consider your current boyfriend's ability to handle it and avoid adding unnecessary suspicion and trouble.

It might be a good idea to meet regularly to increase interaction and a sense of security. You could also occasionally meet up unexpectedly to surprise each other. If conditions are ripe, you could discuss how to go to one place to work and live together and end the long-distance relationship.

It would be advisable to ensure that the conditions are relatively mature, including factors such as the work and life of both parties, and that they are considered relatively thoroughly. Otherwise, if the long-distance relationship ends hastily, there is a possibility that feelings of regret may arise in the later period, which could potentially affect the relationship, leading to conflict and even a breakup.

It is worth noting that being apart from each other already tests the foundation and depth of a relationship. If you add external uncertainties and distractions, it may result in emotional swings, which is perfectly normal, but it could also lead to challenges for those involved. It is my hope that you will gradually build trust, and that the lovers will eventually become family!

Hello. It's clear you're both troubled.

Your boyfriend's jealousy and uncontrolled imagination are causing you problems.

He himself feels pain at the thought of this.

Have you discussed with him why this is the case?

I haven't studied much psychology, but I know the most effective way to solve psychological problems is to find the root of everything. You need to know why he is like this, and then you can make him better. When you do, you will naturally feel much better.

I need to know what his upbringing is like and what his past emotional experiences are.

Tell me what you like about each other. Tell me what you find attractive about each other.

I tell people that time can dilute everything. It works.

You can't just wait in this case.

If you don't control this emotion, it will create distance in your relationship. And if you have sex in the future, it will lead to unpleasant scenes. He might not be in the mood or even be unable to complete the task.

My advice is simple: if you are sure that you are a good match for each other in every way except for this problem and want to go the distance, wait until you have the opportunity to meet and go to counseling together.

There is not enough information to make an informed decision. Comfort and reasoning are not the answer here.

I wish you the best.

In intimate relationships, it is often the case that one partner is a virgin and the other is not. If your boyfriend is still a virgin and expects his lover to be a virgin in an intimate relationship, he will likely resist your past sexual experiences.

He has high expectations of himself and of you, so it's no surprise that many people have an almost obsessive obsession with their "first sexual experience." After all, the first time is usually the best sexual experience in the world because it is unique and usually occurs when you are young.

That experience will be very refreshing. And sexual experiences are not just one-off events. You can still experience passion in your subsequent life together, but sex is not the only part of your relationship.

People who are jealous are also stubborn. They are obsessed with reaching a certain level and are obsessed with and concerned about their partner's past experiences. If his jealousy has affected his life, he needs to take the initiative to make adjustments.

This jealousy towards the past is meaningless. It's futile to try to change what's in the past. You can't change history, but you can change the present and the future.

His current state is unsatisfactory. He should seek psychological counseling because this jealousy is beyond his ability to resolve. This jealousy is rooted in his character. He wants to be perfect and in control, but he needs to accept the past and accept his present. Best wishes.

ZQ?

Greetings,

The host's perspective is as follows:

A careful reading of the post reveals a certain confusion on the part of the author. However, it is also evident that the author has the courage to express this confusion and to seek assistance on the platform, a decision that will undoubtedly lead to a deeper understanding and greater reassurance for his partner.

In this section, I will present my observations and thoughts on the aforementioned post, which I believe may assist the original poster in developing a more nuanced perspective.

1. Jealousy is a consequence of exclusivity and possessiveness in a relationship.

In the aforementioned post, the host indicated that her boyfriend is jealous due to the fact that you have engaged in sexual activities with another individual. Furthermore, he frequently envisions scenarios in which you are kissing your former romantic partner without any apparent rationale. When confronted with such circumstances, the host finds herself in a state of helplessness and powerlessness.

I can comprehend your situation with a high degree of accuracy. I hypothesize that if we alter our perspective, I would exhibit similar behaviors.

Indeed, the jealousy exhibited by a partner such as this is a consequence of exclusivity and possessiveness within the relationship. It is therefore necessary to alter this dynamic by improving one's own perception or upgrading one's own system.

Therefore, the host may have to allow him some time and space to improve himself. It is important to provide him with the necessary resources and support to facilitate change in his thinking and perception.

2. It is essential to distinguish between past and present circumstances.

The existence of an uncontrollable biological basis for our emotions is a well-established phenomenon. However, there is also a discernible psychological factor that can be subject to conscious control.

One must adjust one's unreasonable perceptions, improve one's own dimensions, and then, as a natural consequence, one's perspective on the problem will be different. When dealing with jealousy, it is crucial to emphasise the manner in which one dealt with the emotion of jealousy during one's formative years. As we mature, we tend to continue utilising the same coping methods that we employed during our younger years.

It is therefore necessary to learn to distinguish between past and present. The issue should be viewed from the perspective of an adult, as a detached observer, and the methods used to deal with jealousy in childhood should be avoided.

At this juncture, we are frequently not swept away by feelings of jealousy and do not become consumed by the image of the host and his former romantic partner kissing.

3. It is essential to cultivate awareness and learn to apply the brakes when necessary.

In our daily lives, it is important to be mindful of our emotions and to recognize them without forcing ourselves to do so. When we become aware of such emotions, it is essential to take a step back and pause for a moment. By disengaging from the emotions of jealousy and returning to the present moment, we can also engage in other constructive behaviors. These could include engaging in activities that he typically enjoys or utilizing techniques to regulate his emotions.

It is important to recognize that indulging in one's emotions can significantly hinder the ability to disengage from them. Interrupting one's thoughts and temporarily distancing oneself from the emotional state can be an effective method for achieving this.

4. The objective is not to eliminate emotions, but to avoid being unduly influenced by them.

As a male, I must acknowledge that maintaining complete indifference or emotional detachment remains a significant challenge. What, then, is the recommended course of action? I believe that learning to accept the presence of jealousy and avoiding excessive self-pressure are essential.

If one is concerned about the situation and attempts to suppress these feelings, the individual in question may experience heightened distress. Therefore, it may be more beneficial to allow these emotions to exist without being influenced by them.

In the event of experiencing feelings of jealousy, it is recommended to maintain one's usual activities and avoid allowing these emotions to overwhelm one's thoughts and actions. Alternatively, it may be beneficial to set aside a specific period of time to focus on these feelings, allowing oneself to experience them fully for a designated duration, such as five minutes. It is important to note that this period of introspection should be conducted independently, without involving the other individual.

It is possible that he may require such a private space.

5. It is essential to communicate one's feelings and thoughts.

It is essential to present your thoughts and feelings to him in a clear and concise manner, allowing him to gain insight into your perspective and opinions regarding your ex-partner. It is also crucial to understand his perspective and thoughts on the matter.

One might inquire as to the potential longevity of this situation. It may be beneficial to engage in discourse regarding this matter. It is essential to recognize that we are all ordinary individuals, and there are certain circumstances that we are unable to accept. At this juncture, it is imperative to determine the most appropriate course of action to address this situation.

Dear questioner, Thank you for your question.

From what you've shared, I can see that you're feeling a bit of self-blame, helplessness in dealing with your boyfriend's problem, and confusion about how to solve it quickly. Let's discuss this together and see if we can find a way forward.

1. With regard to your boyfriend's feelings of jealousy regarding your sexual experiences,

Could I ask whether your boyfriend's jealousy about your sexual experience is a result of you confirming it to him?

It's important to remember that jealousy is a complex emotion, and your boyfriend may be experiencing a range of feelings beyond just jealousy. It's not always easy to control how our partners feel, and we can't always be responsible for their emotions.

It's important to remember that every adult is responsible for their own emotions, and that no one else can take responsibility for them. It's also helpful to work through our own emotions, such as self-blame, doubt, and unease.

Perhaps it would be helpful to return the subject of the other person to the other person and take back our emotional subject to work on it. When we can see and understand our emotions, it is when we face a more sober self.

2. Regarding sexual experience:

It is important to remember that we have the right to use and love our bodies, and that this right is absolute. When your current boyfriend feels this emotion, it may be difficult for him to accept that your first time did not happen with him.

It is important to remember that the truth is always there for us to see. When we are faced with the truth, the first step is to accept it for what it is.

It is true that we had a sexual relationship with our former partner and did love him. However, this does not necessarily mean that we should view this aspect of our past relationship in a negative light.

It's understandable that when everyone fell in love with each other at that time, they couldn't have imagined breaking up with each other in the future. After all, the future is always a bit unpredictable.

3. What might we do about it?

Perhaps we can respect the current partner's choice while also respecting our own choices in the past. Before considering others, it might be helpful to consider ourselves first: can I accept this part of the other person's rejection of me?

This is essentially a matter of distinguishing between what is mine, what is his, and what is ours. We might call this something we all have, but don't always recognize: self-boundaries.

It is understandable that your current partner may always think about the various things that happened between you and your ex. However, it is important to remember that this is his business and there is nothing you can do to stop him from thinking about it.

Perhaps the best course of action would be to be true to yourself and decide how much you feel comfortable sharing with your current partner about your past relationship. In my opinion, relationships do require honesty, but there is a limit to what is acceptable.

It would be wise to avoid excessive displays of emotion.

For instance, the questioner might consider telling their current partner that they love the person they are with, and that they would not be with them otherwise. At the same time, it could be helpful to explain that it was the end of the road with their ex-partner that led to their current relationship.

I believe that may be the case. With regard to the specifics, I would advise against disclosing them, even if the other person presses you on the matter.

At the end of the day, you can give the other person half of the choice back. If the other person wants to continue moving forward with you happily, it might be best to put this behind you. And if the other person really can't accept that you had sex with your ex, you can also respect their choice.

It could be said that choosing to separate before the relationship goes deeper is a sign of respect for each other.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. I wish you all the best.

Hi, I'm Jiusi, a psychological counselor, and I hope I can help you.

I get it. You might be feeling a little regret about what happened in the past and some worry about your current boyfriend, wondering if his inability to think about this will affect our relationship.

From what the original poster said, it seems like her boyfriend's jealousy is the main issue here. But it's not something we can control, so we just have to focus on him. It seems like there's no way to solve it.

We can adjust our mentality and separate the issues.

American writer Byron Katie wrote in "A Change of Heart," "Of the whole universe, I have found only three things: my own affairs, other people's affairs, and God's affairs."

In my opinion, the best thing I can do is do my best, take this relationship seriously, be honest, and be as caring as I can be towards my boyfriend.

It's his issue, so he needs to work through it on his own.

Of course, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Relationships are a two-way street. The fact that he's jealous means he's possessive and cares about you. If he doesn't care, then he might not have feelings for you.

But being too jealous isn't good. I saw him imagining you kissing your ex, which was a bit over the top.

If this situation doesn't improve, you'll probably have conflicts over this in the future, and it's not impossible that your relationship will break up.

So I think it would be best for the questioner and her boyfriend to avoid mentioning their exes when they're together. After all, that was the past.

When we're in a relationship, we look ahead and imagine what the future might hold. It's best not to test human nature and avoid talking about past emotional experiences.

So the questioner should not be too obsessed now. There is still one more thing that is up to God. We should just do our part, and as for what will happen in the future, that is up to God. What do you think?

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. I really hope that the questioner can find a solution to his problems soon.

Thank you for your time. I'm Jiusi from Yixinli. Thanks for reading, and have a great day!