How can one stop staying up late and struggle to wake up early?

The question from the original poster made me think of a different one from a different poster. They're both about breaking out of a vicious cycle and entering a virtuous one. The difference is that the original poster is having trouble sticking to a good habit. There's a force inside that's stopping them from continuing to persevere, and at the same time, they don't have enough motivation to persevere. The original poster knows that they haven't discovered and utilized their ability to overcome difficulties yet.

It's tough to change, especially when you're used to a vicious cycle and trying to make a switch to a virtuous one. The deeper and longer you've been in a bad habit, the harder it is to break. It takes three years to learn something good, but only three days to learn something bad. This shows that if you want to change for the better, you need to stick with it for years, while if you want to change for the worse, three days is enough. This is the difference between the two.

If you want to make a change for the better, you need to adjust your mindset, prepare mentally in advance, and have the mindset and actions to face and overcome difficulties. Reminding yourself isn't very helpful. In many cases, the power generated by thoughts and words isn't as effective as doing something practical.

So, you need to get your thoughts and actions in sync so you can stay motivated to persevere. For instance, running: the first few days are fine, but after a while you get tired and don't want to run anymore.

So, what should I do at this point? Should I just let myself continue to lie comfortably in the quilt, or should I push through and get up, finish washing up, and then go running? You'll only be able to do it yourself. The more you think, the more time you'll waste. The more you do, the easier it'll be to find reasons not to persevere. It's better not to think so much and just do it first.

I think it's best not to set too many big goals at the beginning. Start with something simple and achievable that doesn't take too long and is less stressful. Give yourself recognition, praise, and encouragement when you achieve it, and it will be easier to persevere.

That's a good question.

I'm Kelly Shui.

You need to change your habit of staying up late.

After reading the original poster's text, I am convinced that your current late-night sleeping habit is causing you problems.

Let's analyze it together.

[About the reasons for late-night sleeping]

We know that many habits take time to develop. Some people can stay up late and get up late if they want to. I think that's fine as long as it doesn't affect others.

Everyone's sleeping habits are different. Some people need eight hours. Some people need six hours, and some people like to stay up late because of their work. We can sort this out by:

1. What are the negative effects of late nights on your life?

For example, does it affect others?

2: We had a good plan, and we successfully carried it out a few days ago. However, we have since fallen back into our old habits of staying up late.

I want to know if this plan comes from a desire to change yourself, or from someone else.

I'm sure you remember when we were students. Our parents always wanted us to go to bed early and get up early, so it seemed like we were rebelling against them when we stayed up late. (Of course, this is subconscious.)

3: We had advantages in the past when we stayed up late.

Some people stay up at night to create or finish things they didn't have time to do during the day.

Yi Nengjing once wrote a passage about talking to herself at night. She writes down what she said throughout the day to sort out her emotions.

4: Analyze the pros and cons. If going to bed late does not cause too much harm, accept it. The way you choose at the moment may be the best.

We must think more about our inner needs, find the reasons, and allow ourselves to take things slowly.

"Slow is better than fast."

In psychology, we often talk about "suggestion." We can and should suggest to ourselves, "I want to go to bed early, and I will."

We must focus on what we have achieved, not try to "control" ourselves. Our biological clock may take more than 21 days to develop a habit.

If you want to go to bed early, you have to make it a need.

1: Leave your phone outside your room.

2: When you don't want to go to sleep, clean your home. Before going to sleep, tell yourself every day that you can either go to sleep or clean, and you can also make your home cleaner (of course, this is just an experiment, but you can try it).

3: We can choose to read, look at some reference books, or read philosophy or literature. We can also choose to go to sleep when we get tired.

4: Set a one-week goal. Celebrate when you achieve it.

5: Record your experiences and feelings from the past week, including what you did during your late nights.

6: Tell yourself that you control your time and you decide what's right for you.

7: You should also try meditation or listening to light music.

The body is wise and will adapt. It takes time to switch from using our right brain to our left, just as it takes time to switch from writing with our right hand to our left.

This is normal.

Read these books: "Plastic Me," "Self-Care," and "The 10,000-Hour Rule."

Hello, I'm Cheng Yan, a listening coach, and I'm happy to answer your question.

From what you've said, it seems like you're trying to convince yourself to go to bed early and get up early, but your subconscious mind is getting in the way. It's only natural for there to be a difference of opinion between your conscious and subconscious minds when it comes to going to bed early and getting up early.

Your conscious mind is trying to resist, but your subconscious mind is turning against it. This can leave you feeling emotionally drained, and in the end, you might find you're unable to stick to your plan and become frustrated.

I'd recommend trying out these two approaches:

1. Get rid of the obstacles. Try recording how you feel and think when you stay up late, what benefits you get, and why you're still obsessed with staying up late even though you know it's unreasonable.

Figure out what's holding you back from waking up early and tackle it one step at a time. You could try talking to your subconscious mind like this: "I know you don't want to go to bed now. You usually don't go to bed until after midnight, but today you can try going to bed at 11 o'clock."

Tomorrow won't make you get up early, and you can still sleep as long as you want. Your subconscious mind will think, "Well, I'm not being asked to get up early, so if I go to bed early, I can get an extra hour of sleep, which is a great deal!"

Take it slow and steady to get your subconscious mind on board. Before you know it, your conscious and subconscious minds will be in sync.

2. Give your subconscious mind enough benefits. If you can't get up early, try rewarding it with a point for getting up on time. When you have enough points, you can buy something you like. You can also take a picture of the sky when you wake up early to record how beautiful it is to be the first to see it every day. These are all things you won't get if you stay in bed late.

It's also a good idea to keep a record of how you feel when you get up early. Add to it little by little to create a positive feedback loop for yourself. You'll also be feeding yourself with positive energy.

Once you've built up enough energy, you'll have the strength to break out of your old routine!

Give yourself some time to adjust. A month, three months, or a year is a good start. Be flexible with your routine and don't be too hard on yourself when you have a setback. How many days a month are you getting up early? Most of the year I'm getting up early, and I'm slowly improving.

I'm getting closer and closer to naturally going to bed early and waking up early without having to use willpower!

That's my answer. I hope your dream of waking up early comes true soon!

I love you, the world, and I support you!

The inquirer expressed gratitude for the opportunity to engage in this discourse.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing confusion regarding the habit of staying up late. I extend my support and encouragement to you, and I am available to engage in a collaborative discussion on this matter.

1. It is necessary to accept that the desired outcome cannot be achieved at this time.

It is commonly accepted that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit. Despite initial success in adhering to the new routine for several days, the subject eventually reverted to their previous pattern of staying up late.

It is therefore to be expected that a return to previous habits will occur after a few days of implementation, and that the desired results will not be achieved. This is because changing a habit is a challenging process.

It is therefore necessary to accept that this is not a viable option for the time being. This will assist in restoring the energy that has been expended and in achieving the desired outcome.

2. Identify the advantages of remaining awake at night.

If one wishes to alter a habit, it is first necessary to identify the benefits that the habit has brought about and to ascertain whether these benefits can be achieved through alternative means. This process may assist in the breaking of the habit.

For example, I frequently engage in self-reflection after my children have fallen asleep. I review my unfinished tasks for the day and formulate a preliminary plan for the following day.

Subsequently, I also set aside a brief period for self-care, during which I intermittently accessed my mobile device. I am able to regulate this process independently, and I do not become fatigued or experience negative self-perceptions due to the temporal displacement that occurs when checking my phone.

This process fulfills the need for relaxation and autonomy, or the desire to spend time alone.

Subsequently, one can ascertain which needs are being fulfilled by staying up late and what benefits are being derived. Once this has been determined, it will be possible to consider whether it is necessary to achieve these benefits by staying up late.

One might inquire whether it is possible to replace the aforementioned behavior with an alternative.

3. Cultivate a new habit to facilitate the desired outcome.

To overcome a habit such as staying up late, it is essential to ascertain whether the habit is one that is desired or if it is the result of external pressure. If the habit is the result of external pressure, it may be resisted subconsciously, making it more challenging to break the habit of staying up late.

This is an area that can be further investigated and analyzed.

It would be beneficial to attempt to develop a new habit of going to bed early and waking up early. One might consider offering oneself a small reward on the days that this is successfully achieved. This could help to enhance feelings of comfort and stimulate the brain's reward system.

It is recommended that individuals engage in more relaxing activities prior to bedtime to facilitate earlier onset of sleep.

It is acceptable to engage in alternative activities if one does not feel comfortable sleeping in bed initially. These activities could include listening to calming music or meditating.

Even engaging in some domestic tasks or recording the agenda for the following day is an acceptable use of time.

Should one still go to bed late at night, it would be advisable to rise early the following morning at the same time one sets out to do so, in order to establish a new routine.

Regardless of the circumstances, it is advisable to prioritize personal comfort and avoid internal conflict. Self-blame can impede the ability to break this habit.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance to you. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.