How can you face the luck of others with equanimity and live your own life to the full?

Hello.

A pat on the head is all you need. The results of the college entrance exam may not have been ideal, but if you treat it with the same seriousness and give it your all, you deserve a sense of pride after the effort. Children who have been given support and encouragement since childhood for conforming to social expectations cannot establish their own inner values when they grow up.

The answer is unpredictable, but we can be sure that the tremendous pressure of the "college entrance exam" and striving to gain a sense of social identity is the reason why young and energetic children have lost the motivation to take steps towards society. This is because of the excessive pressure of growth and the low sense of self-identity brought about by restrictive beliefs. They have not been truly accepted, so they do not know how to cherish the results of their efforts and cannot enjoy their own hard work. They can only feel their self-worth from the judgment of others. Therefore, the inability to feel respected and understood is their first feeling, and the result has become the only way to evaluate their self-worth.

It is the unshirkable responsibility of educators (parents, teachers, and the entire social environment) to pay attention to the growth of children and give them the necessary encouragement, consideration, and care. Children themselves must realize that their self-worth does not depend on external evaluation standards. It depends on how much valuable realization we can create based on our inner energy. No matter how great the success, if it is not timely, it will be eliminated. We must remain vigilant, strive to enhance our self-worth, focus on the present, constantly correct unreasonable beliefs, improve our cognitive ability, and contribute to society. Ultimately, we must give back to ourselves.

It doesn't matter if it's the success of others that makes us jealous, lost, or resentful. We need to take a good look at what's going on around us, understand our own responsibilities, and not let our negative emotions fool us into thinking there's more to the problem than there is. Luck plays a part, but there's no guarantee we'll be lucky forever. If they don't stick to the truth and follow the objective laws of development, they'll have to face their own inner anxieties and fears.

Tip 1: Relax and keep your emotions stable.

The end of one exam has affected the hearts of countless people, and the college entrance exam has undoubtedly pushed this anxiety to a climax. Even after the college entrance exam is over, it is impossible to truly settle down and enjoy the relaxation after the tension. Emotions are always in an unstable state, and they are easily influenced by the outside world, especially negative news. Anything that affects inner discomfort can trigger negative emotions. If you don't put your emotions somewhere, they will collapse your spirit. If you don't obtain a correct method of emotional grooming at this time, it may trigger a greater sense of anxiety or depression.

Relax, maintain emotional stability, and take care of your emotions first. Let them vent and relax. This is the only way to keep negative distractions out, remain unaffected, restore self-confidence, and rediscover the joy of living.

Suggestion 2: Learn to express your emotions correctly and interact in a positive way.

It's perplexing how a single event can evoke such a range of negative emotions. Did the student who studied hard bring this about? Perhaps her overly privileged living conditions did trigger some excitement, but the real source of the problem is clear.

When our experiences and feelings are negative, but other external factors amplify our feelings, we instinctively reject and reject such stimulating information because recognition means "showing weakness." This is a conclusion based on subjective consciousness. The truth is that the so-called strong people are not judged by external conditions and achievements at a certain stage. They are judged by whether their personal development is benign and whether such benign development can help them grow mentally, ultimately benefiting their entire life. Therefore, when we feel negative emotions in life, we must let go of our pride and learn to express our emotions correctly. Only in this way will it be possible to transform our feelings and communicate well with the outside world.

You need to find a calling that really suits you after a short period of relaxation.

If someone thinks that the only real way out is to study, I would tell them to find their inner passion first, and then go study. Let me be clear: studying is just a way to help us understand knowledge and the world more systematically. It cannot help us expand ourselves. It is our inner passion that can expand ourselves. It can truly stimulate our potential, discover our core competitiveness, allow us to step out of our inner doubts and fears, and give us the ability to face the excellence of others without feeling inferior. Ultimately, we will realize the equal status of people, gain inner freedom, and feel the happiness of life.

Come on! Best wishes!

Hello, I'm the place of peace. I'm grateful to have met you.

First of all, I want to give you a hug and tell you that you are actually very good, but you don't see it yourself, and it seems that no one else sees it either. I'm sorry that I hurt you.

She grew up in a pretty repressive family, experienced some school violence in elementary school, was insulted by her teachers, and went to middle school alone in a different city. She managed to get into a key high school through her own efforts.

Honey, this is pretty amazing. You've really outpaced your peers.

I don't know how you did on the college entrance exam, but I'd guess based on conventional thinking.

You're worried about the top scorer in the college entrance exam, so surely your grades are still pretty good?

If I'm right, I've got to give you another round of praise. You took a year off school because of depression, and the meds should have had a big impact on your brain, thinking, and memory. It's pretty amazing that you were still able to get good results.

In your description, your former roommate, who isn't particularly hardworking or intelligent, got top scores on the college entrance exam.

Do you think the main reason for her success is that she's lucky to live in a happy family, where she can focus on her studies without distractions?

Is that really the case? A child who isn't particularly bright or hardworking, who just happens to choose the subjects that they're good at and who lives in a happy family, is lucky enough to become the top scorer in the college entrance exam.

Is that really the case? Are you absolutely sure?

If you're sure this is the truth, what are your feelings?

If you have any doubts or concerns, what are they? Why do you have these doubts?

What were your feelings when you thought about this uncertainty?

In your description, you said you've lived in a repressive family since childhood. It seems like the relationship between your parents and their attitude towards you has made you feel insecure.

When you were bullied and insulted at school, did you tell your parents?

If you did tell them, what was their response?

If you didn't tell them, why not? Were you afraid of them and didn't feel you could speak up?

Or did you think they wouldn't care and you wouldn't get any support, help, or comfort even if you told them?

The description says you took a year off school due to depression. Have you been diagnosed with depression by a doctor?

If so, did your parents' attitude towards you change after the diagnosis? Did they try to show they understood, cared about, supported, and protected you?

You took a year off school, but still took the college entrance exam as usual. Could this be a sign that your treatment was still very successful?

This is definitely down to your own strength, courage, and hard work. How much help did your parents give?

How would you describe your relationship with your parents now?

There's no need to rush your answer. The answer may be hidden deep within your heart, and you need to honestly face the real you, then patiently explore and discover.

I don't know what your final answer is, but I just want to give you a hug and tell you:

You are really wonderful, and you deserve to be noticed, cared for, and loved.

Love yourself because you deserve it.

I really hope things work out for you.

From what you've said, it seems like there might be room for improvement in your family dynamic.

Tell me about your experience being roommates. Did you get along well and enjoy each other's company, or did you have any other feelings?

I've struggled with depression since childhood, and I ended up taking a year off from school.

Dear Question Asker, I can appreciate your feelings of depression, sadness, and disappointment.

It is evident that the questioner is hoping for a favorable outcome and a more straightforward path forward.

1. My family has a tendency to be overbearing. I was subjected to humiliation at the hands of educators due to my involvement in school violence during my elementary school years. I experienced feelings of anxiety and loneliness when I had to attend school alone in an unfamiliar environment during my junior high school years. After exerting significant effort to gain admission to a prestigious high school, I developed depression as a result of the repression I had endured since childhood. This led me to take a year off from school. After starting medication, I noticed a notable decline in my cognitive abilities, particularly in my thinking and memory.

I believe that our family of origin is beyond our control, but we can certainly strive to become an improved version of ourselves. Just as the questioner has demonstrated, despite past challenges, you have remained resilient. You have consistently demonstrated a strong work ethic, and your ability to excel in a competitive high school setting is a testament to your potential for academic success. This determination is an admirable quality.

2. "I also consider the numerous students who are more intelligent and work harder than she does. However, due to various misfortunes, competition setbacks, or college entrance examination failures, their final results do not align with their abilities. Why is she so fortunate?"

I believe that, regardless of the outcome, it is important to accept the result with an open mind, having given one's best effort. It is also essential to understand that the examination process involves both subjective and objective factors, some of which can be controlled and some of which cannot. However, it is important to remember that life is long, and that losing the college entrance examination does not necessarily mean losing out in the future. As long as one believes in oneself, keeps moving forward, and does not lose sight of one's original intention, the future will still hold victory.

3. "She is a very nice person. I don't envy her or resent her, but her good fortune makes me feel sad, resentful, and miserable about my own misfortunes."

It is evident that the questioner is a sensible individual, and you concur with and commend your classmates. However, how should the questioner's emotional response be adjusted?

I believe the following approach may be beneficial:

1. Accept the college entrance examination results and select a major that aligns with your interests and skills.

It is recommended that you exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes per day, whether that be running, jumping rope, or another form of exercise.

3. Engage in music therapy to relieve physical and mental stress.

4. During the holiday season, it is beneficial to prioritize spending time with friends and maintaining an open and accepting attitude towards them.

Hello, I'd like to offer you a hug from the heart.

Indeed, some people are so incredibly fortunate that it seems as if nothing can go wrong for them, especially when it comes to the family they are born into. When we were children, we had no choice over our parents or our family, and could only accept them passively.

It is important to note that while we cannot choose our parents and family, we do have the ability to re-evaluate our relationships with them and choose to interact with them in a different way as we grow up. This gives us the opportunity to take the initiative and make our own choices. This is a separate issue from luck, so let's continue discussing it.

In your narrative, your former roommate was indeed very fortunate, like the illegitimate son of Lady Luck. In contrast, you are like the one who has not yet found favor with Lady Luck.

I would like to put myself in your shoes for a moment. If I were in your position, I might also feel a sense of envy and jealousy. I want to say that these emotions are not necessarily negative. It is normal for people to feel a sense of envy when they see someone similar to themselves suddenly gain something they want but cannot obtain. The key is how to face and deal with these emotions in a constructive way.

It is understandable to feel envious of her and to experience feelings of sadness, resentment, and bitterness about oneself in comparison. However, it is important to find ways to manage these emotions in a constructive manner.

Perhaps the first step is to accept your fate.

Yes, it's just accepting one's fate. As we often say, all roads lead to Rome, but some people are born in Rome. Sometimes it can feel unfair, as if there is no other way but to accept one's fate.

I would like to take a moment to share some thoughts on why we often feel a sense of envy towards those born in Rome. However, when it's someone close to us, someone like us, and they suddenly experience a streak of good fortune, it can be challenging to accept.

This is because those born in Rome are so far away from us, and we know that even if we exert ourselves to the full, it may be challenging to catch up, unless we are reborn. This is just a lighthearted observation, and it also implies that these things are not optional and can only be accepted.

In middle age, I have come to understand that it is important to accept your fate. This does not mean giving up, but rather not dwelling on the past and questioning why and why you deserve it.

For example, it would be interesting to consider why she is so fortunate, why she has a happy family, and why I am so unfortunate. Focusing on the past, external factors, and people and things that you cannot change yourself may not be the most productive use of our time.

For instance, in recent years, there has been a great deal of criticism of the original family, as if their failure to succeed was the fault of the original family. As adults, we always have the option of choosing how we respond to misfortune. We can choose to dwell on our difficulties and feel that we are owed something by others.

We might also consider standing up and seeing what we can do within the existing conditions.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider the problem from a different perspective.

I find this analogy helpful. When we experience negative events in the past, it can be helpful to view them as a bad hand in a game. If we think of these events as a game, we can see that, at worst, we can win back a bad hand in the next game, or that losing is not the end of the world.

For a life that is unique to each of us, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of carefree ease.

It is important to remember that the past can only represent the past and not the future. While past experiences have indeed shaped us, how we narrate the past can lead to different results.

For instance, being on the receiving end of some unkind words from a teacher in one's formative years might foster a greater capacity for empathy and understanding towards others. Similarly, having to navigate the challenges of attending school in an unfamiliar environment during one's junior high years might instill a sense of independence and resilience.

You did your best to get into a key high school, and your ability to do so despite facing challenges shows that you have more perseverance and endurance than the average person.

Perhaps, if you consider it from a different angle, your life might not seem quite as unfortunate as you think.

Of course, you may have a different perspective and feel that this is all too vague and false, and that it is more like consolation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider looking at things from a positive perspective.

I would like to share a quote with you that I find inspiring: "In everything there is a crack, and that is where the light comes in." Perhaps if you look at your life from a different perspective, you may be able to see the crack where the light comes in.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to turn a bad hand into a winning hand.

Perhaps it would be helpful to accept your fate, find a positive perspective, and then take action to make a change.

It is perfectly fine if you choose not to change. Not changing is also a form of change. However, the next time you envy others, it might be helpful to consider that crack.

Perhaps the best way to bring about change is to take action. It might be helpful to consider going to college as a way of starting a new chapter in your life.

You may have heard the old saying, "Build another stage and sing another opera." It seems that you have reached a new platform.

It's worth noting that nobody knows who you are, and everyone is essentially starting from scratch. Perhaps you could put in the same effort you did to get into a top high school.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that life is long. When you look back from the perspective of old age, you may find that you view life as more of a marathon than a sprint.

I hope you have a happy and fulfilling university experience.

I am a psychological counselor who experiences a range of emotions, including periods of depression and moments of optimism. I have a deep appreciation for the world and all its complexities.

Hello, question asker. From your description, I can tell you're feeling pretty sad, frustrated, and confused.

The college entrance exam results are in, and your roommate has unexpectedly become the city's top scorer.

You think she's got it made because she comes from a good family.

When you see people around you who are smarter and work harder than you do, but don't get good results because of various misfortunes or losses, it can make you feel sad, frustrated, and resentful.

Accepting the past and the future gives you more options.

My family was pretty repressive. I was bullied at school because I was new to the area and didn't know anyone. I was anxious and lonely when I went to school alone in a foreign place in junior high. After working hard to get into a key high school, I suffered from depression due to the repression I had experienced since childhood. I took a year off from school and my thinking and memory abilities declined significantly after taking medication.

It's evident that you have some grievances and dissatisfaction with your past, and you feel that you've reached this point today because of these reasons.

If you can't accept everything from your past, and you're stuck dwelling on the sadness, pain, and grievances, you'll be trapped there, repeating the pain over and over, unable to move on.

At the same time, you lose sight of the present and can't even consider ways to improve things.

When you try to accept that you've had some tough times in the past and try to be supportive and understanding towards that part of yourself.

The past is in the past, and it can't be changed. If you want to move on from it and see a better future and yourself, you've got to live in the present.

The "you think" misconception

As you can see, you know a lot about your roommate. You don't think she's particularly smart or extremely hardworking, just studious and steady.

At the same time, you feel that she benefited from a happy family, was well protected, and never experienced pain, so she was able to concentrate and study without distractions, and ultimately achieved first place with a bit of supernormal ability.

You think no one would have thought she'd be the top scorer before the exam, which seems to be telling us that your judgment is correct and she's lucky to get such a result.

Success isn't always accidental. There are reasons and justifications behind it.

But is it really as you think? If you've had a similar background to her, could you also achieve the same results?

Maybe there are some things you haven't seen or understood yet, and things aren't always as simple as we think.

↗️ Invest your energy back into yourself.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, wondering about other people, and complaining about what's already happened, it's better to focus more on yourself.

Try to face up to the current situation and see what you can do to feel better.

If you put more energy into yourself and try to solve problems, you'll find you have more confidence and a stronger sense of self.

Wishing you the best!

Dear questioner, Please know that you are in my thoughts and I am sending you a virtual hug.

I am truly grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with you at Yixinli.

I would like to thank the original poster for her self-awareness, which has led to an interesting topic: "How can I face the luck of others with an open mind and live my life to the fullest?"

After carefully reading the question the OP is seeking to discuss, I feel that while the OP is envious of others, there is also a sense of sadness from the comparison. I also sense the OP's desire to live a good life.

I have also reflected on this topic and would like to share my thoughts and reflections with the questioner for their consideration.

~~~

From the questioner's description, we can gain insight into their inner needs. It seems that they desire to recognize their shortcomings and to be able to target their efforts in a way that is truly fulfilling for them.

When the college entrance exam results were announced, my former roommate had the top score in the city. She wasn't the type to be extremely clever or work extremely hard, but she studied steadily and methodically. Before the exam, few would have guessed that she would be the top scorer.

I admire her greatly. I admire her for being able to choose subjects she is passionate about and excel in, for having a supportive family, for being able to focus on her studies without distractions, and for achieving a commendable score with her exceptional abilities.

My family was quite strict, and I experienced some challenges at school, particularly in elementary school, where I was bullied by other students. In junior high school, I also faced some difficulties when I had to travel alone to a new place to attend school. After working hard to gain admission to a prestigious high school, I began to experience depression due to the repression I had endured since childhood. I took a year off from school, and after taking medication, I noticed a decline in my thinking and memory abilities. I also think of many other classmates who were more intelligent and worked harder than her, but due to various challenges or college entrance examination failures, the final results did not match their abilities.

I wonder if I might ask why she is so lucky. She is a very nice person, and I don't envy her or resent her. However, her good fortune makes me feel sad, resentful, and miserable about what has happened to me.

If I may ask, how might I ease such emotions when faced with the luck of others and live my own life to the fullest?

[1] Perhaps the questioner could benefit from recognizing their own inner desires through the "luck" of others, or this just right awareness, as a way to begin to change.

[2] Perhaps, with time, the sadness you felt when you were humiliated by your teacher in primary school, the anxiety and loneliness you experienced in junior high school, and the depression that led you to take a break from school, could eventually become the driving force that propels you forward?

Question 3: The poster also realizes that our efforts may not always yield the desired results. There are many reasons for this. When we feel sad, painful, or unwilling, it may be helpful to accept these feelings and use them as a starting point for moving towards luck and happiness.

If I might make a suggestion, perhaps you could try to deal with the situation in this way to alleviate your negative emotions and live a good life in the future.

In response to the actual situation described by the questioner, you might consider trying this approach to help alleviate your negative emotions and live a good life in the future.

[1] It might be helpful to accept all that we have experienced, understand the ins and outs of it, and realize that every trace of pain has a meaning, which could remind us that in order to avoid pain, we might choose to change.

Perhaps it could be said that we tend to compare ourselves to others unconsciously as we grow up. When we discover a gap with others, we often find ourselves taking a different path than we have before, driven by our inner desire to pursue a different way of life. This could be seen as a positive response to change.

[2] It may be the case that when we feel inferior to others, it is because we lack a reasonable understanding of our own reality and are preoccupied with matters that are not directly related to ourselves, such as family background, interpersonal relationships, and other such things.

In reality, we cannot choose our family or our origins, and we cannot change the way we look. Some are fortunate to be born into famous families. There is no way for us to compare, and what would it change if we did? It is not always possible to change things. If you can't, dwelling on it may not be helpful. We can try to relax and accept these situations as they are. This is not to fall into the trap of unreasonable comparisons by making unnecessary comparisons, but to work hard in the direction we can choose and change.

[3] It is important to remember that when we elevate others, we are also belittling ourselves. It is therefore essential that we learn to identify our own strengths and affirm ourselves.

I believe that the questioner also has many strengths and merits. Just as the questioner has overcome his own depression, there must be something about him that is worth affirming. I think that realizing one's own value means taking back what one wants and can have by bringing one's strengths into play and avoiding one's weaknesses.

At the same time, it's important to recognize that everyone has shortcomings, and that nobody is perfect. For example, the questioner seems to think that others are very "lucky."

Perhaps we often assume that others are perfect, overlooking our own positive qualities. It's natural to feel that others are fortunate, but it's important to recognize that everyone has shortcomings and secrets.

If the questioner can see the strengths and luck of others, as well as their weaknesses and inadequacies, it may help to avoid feelings of envy and admiration, and to feel more balanced in our relationships with others.

[4] When we feel sad, painful, or other negative emotions, it might be helpful to consider what we are longing for or needing behind such emotions. Could this be the life we truly want, rather than comparing ourselves to others?

It might be the case that behind every successful or lucky person, there are many unknown "codes/stories." Could it be that we only see the glamorous moments of that person, but not the "hardships/difficulties" behind it?

The above is a response that combines the questioner's question. It is my hope that it will stimulate further discussion and lead to more thinking. I also hope to inspire and help the questioner, and welcome more in-depth exchanges. It is my sincere prayer that the questioner will come to know themselves again, discover themselves, and lead an easy and happy life in the future!

I wonder if I might suggest that perhaps we could all benefit from a little more self-compassion.

I am here to bring you sunshine and love, and I am sending you all my love! ?

Hello, I'm Flower.

The questioner boldly asks, "How can I face the luck of others with equanimity and live my own life to the fullest?"

Family pressure, school violence, being alone... We have really experienced so many setbacks. When we see others' smooth lives, we don't envy them. We do, however, feel that the world is so unfair. And among them, I also see the questioner's upward strength.

Despite the difficulties, the questioner persists in fighting against fate. He is already walking on his own path in life, as the line goes, "My fate is in my hands, not in the hands of heaven."

People experience different things in life, and that's that.

The college entrance exam results are out, and my former roommate actually got first in the city. She's not the type to be extremely smart or work extremely hard. She just studies steadily and methodically, and it paid off. No one would have guessed that she would be the top scorer before the exam.

I envy her. She gets to choose subjects she likes and is good at, and she has a happy family that protected her from pain, allowing her to concentrate and study without distractions. She also got the top score, and she did it her way.

"

It's only natural to envy those who have what we lack. We may dream of having a happy family, avoiding school violence, and studying without distractions. But the truth is, external conditions greatly affect learning energy and results. If we want to become the city champion, we have to put in the work.

But if you think about it from another perspective, it's clear that there are more than just roommates who have these conditions. Not everyone with such conditions can study well and become the top student. The underlying logic of college entrance exam results still stems from whether or not one's foundation is solid. Being methodical and down-to-earth is a sign of being solid.

We envy our roommates' peace and happiness because we have experienced pain that they have not. Everyone has their own sorrows and joys. No one's sorrow is not sorrow, and no one's difficulties are easier. Sorrows are different from one another and difficult to compare.

We admire other people's talents and good grades, and they admire our ability to get things done. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

We must learn to face the good fortune of others with equanimity and live our own lives to the full. We must stop comparing our own suffering with the good fortune of others and stop comparing our own disadvantages with the advantages of others.

We begin to see our own strengths.

Pain becomes the mark of overcoming obstacles.

My family was repressive. I was humiliated by teachers in elementary school due to campus violence. I was anxious and lonely when I went to school alone in junior high school. After working hard to get into a key high school, I suffered from depression due to the repression I had experienced since childhood. I took a year off from school. After taking medication, my thinking and memory abilities declined significantly.

Give yourself a hug. It's not easy to grow up with all those experiences, to have endured so much suffering and emotion. Those moments of loneliness and helplessness were undoubtedly very depressing.

After experiencing all this pain, it becomes our armor and courage to face difficulties alone. Many people are resistant to depression.

Depression is a signal. It's a kind of defense that makes us aware of our emotions. Depression is taking care of our soul.

I know how hard it is to endure those countless days of suffering. I know how frustrating it is to try your best and not get the results you want.

Growing up is painful, but it's also necessary. The pains we experience pave the way for us to break out of our cocoons and become butterflies.

We must face the luck of others with an open mind and live our own lives to the fullest. We must no longer resent the pain of the past or dwell on the self that has experienced so much suffering.

Instead, we look forward and use the pain of the past as armor and strength for today.

Everyone has their own unique rhythm.

"I also think of the many other students who are smarter and work harder than she is. They are simply unlucky, or they have failed to succeed in competitions or the college entrance exam. But why is she so lucky?

She is a very nice person, and I don't envy or resent her. However, her good fortune makes me feel sad, resentful, and miserable about my own situation. I need to learn how to deal with the emotions I feel when faced with other people's good fortune and live my own life to the fullest.

"

Everyone's efforts are different.

Some people are single-minded in their pursuit of competition and work hard to develop on the path to competition. Inevitably, some succeed while others fail. The results of the college entrance examination may not be satisfactory, but this does not negate their natural abilities or their hard work. They have probably already anticipated the possible outcome from the moment they chose the path of competition.

Some people work extremely hard, from morning to night. But everyone has different learning talents. Some excel at literature, some at management, some can recite a poem in an hour, while others only need two minutes.

The factors that lead to a corresponding result are not only the degree of effort, but also the direction of effort, actual efficiency, and so on. There's no doubt that her good fortune is the result of her taking each step steadily.

A temporary result is not the final result. There will be ups and downs in a person's life, and there may be lower lows and higher highs. The present is not about the college entrance exam.

But think about it. Five years, ten years, twenty years from now, there are still infinite possibilities in life. Everyone's path and development process is different. The speed of these processes is not entirely due to hard work. It's also due to the way of thinking brought about by the growth environment, family education, self-growth exploration, social resources, and so on.

We can face the luck of others with equanimity and live our own lives to the full. We understand the attitude of "working hard for results and being content with what comes." Effort produces results.

We have come to realize that everyone has their own rhythm. We are no longer influenced by the rhythm of others, and we no longer compare ourselves to others. We play our own lives.

Everyone is unique, and you can bloom like a brilliant firework!

I highly recommend two books: "Allow Yourself to Meet the Complete You" by Cong Fei Cong and "Reconcile with Your True Self" by Tim Desmond.

OK, thanks for your question. I read up on this a lot.

I think what you're going through is something most of us have been through at one point or another. I wanted to empathize with you first, so I'll share a quote with you: we can't have everything, and we can't have nothing either. We can't have everything we want. Maybe it's just that we have something that others don't have. The world is equal, so it doesn't matter if others have something we don't have. If we think about what we have, can't we feel happy too?

First of all, getting into a key city high school is already a great achievement. I believe you can get into a key city high school and go on to attend a good university. I was thinking that being the top student in the city is something that students strive for and is very impactful. I think you have also considered how great it would be if you were the top student in the city. However, these are all just moments in life. Think about it: what do you have that others don't have? Think again: whether it's success or failure, it will all pass. Even if we reach the pinnacle, it is just a point in human history, perhaps a shining point. There will still be more people surpassing you in the future. So no matter how glorious it was, and no matter how unbearable the past was, it is all in the past. We have the present, and we also have the future.

Are we now comparing our flaws with other people's strengths? It can really be very frustrating. Back then, when I saw that someone else was taller than me and I could not do as well as you, I would become jealous and think, "Why not me?" And then I would think about where I had scored less and where I was not as good as him, and that he was just lucky.

After all this time, I've realized there are hundreds or thousands of moments in life that can make us shine. So, if we miss this one, let it become history. I've also met many people who have experienced failure or setbacks, and then worked hard to make up for it, achieving success for themselves a few years later.

Are we comparing ourselves to others? We can compare ourselves to ourselves. Maybe we're not the strongest, and we can't be the best at everything. We have our own characteristics. We just need to feel that we've improved a lot compared to five years ago. Sometimes you'll find that even if you try your best and are very motivated, you'll still lag behind. Just as you said, your roommate is the top student, but others who are more promising aren't, right? This kind of thing can also happen to us.

Think about it: where were you a few years ago, and where are you now? Have you made progress? From what you've described, I can tell you've done your best.

There's a saying: even if we try our hardest, are the most hopeful, and are the most urgent, the result may still be unsatisfactory. That's just how life is. It's also because of the infinite possibilities that we're full of fighting spirit, because we're also in the midst of infinite possibilities, right?

Family has a big impact on us, and we all want a happy family. I think you especially want one. So, we're about to go to university, where we can use our studies to escape the influence of our original family and start our own lives. Even though we're still students, can't we think about becoming financially and mentally independent and slowly breaking away from our original families to live our own lives? When people grow up, they all need to leave their original homes and establish new families. That way, we can improve ourselves. We know the problems of our original families, so we're looking for a model for a happy family. In the past, when we were young, our families had an influence on us. Now, through learning and communication, we can have an influence on our original families. And, life has infinite possibilities. Isn't it also very challenging and meaningful?

I just want to say that you worked hard, you beat depression, and you even finished high school. I think you're stronger than all your classmates. Your life has been really tough. You've had to overcome your own difficulties, study, and communicate with your classmates and teachers. You've probably overcome a lot of obstacles. I think that through our learning and understanding of the illness, we can recover to a very good state, and even the possibility of recovery. As long as we learn and adjust, I think you've worked harder and more difficultly than you say you have. Because of your own situation, your efforts will definitely pay off. Believe in this. Maybe five years from now, maybe ten years from now, or maybe even longer, you have to remember that your hard work has made you better and better every day. You'll achieve your own success. As long as you keep working hard, I believe you're also looking forward to the day when you see your own achievements.

Remember to love yourself. I know the world and I love you. I hope to see news of your achievements one day. In fact, being able to live a good life is the greatest achievement.