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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
The questioner expressed gratitude for the present moment and appreciation for having the opportunity to meet.
From what you have shared, it seems there are some emotions you are experiencing in relation to the words and actions of your parents in your original family and their parenting style. It also seems that you feel these emotions are not entirely appropriate, and that they might be seen as unfilial towards your parents.
I wonder if I might ask whether you have experienced any internal conflicts or contradictions?
I can relate to your confusion, and that is why I have been studying psychology. I appreciate that you have raised this issue, and I would like to share some insights that I have gained from my studies.
I believe it's important to recognize that there is no inherent right or wrong in your emotions. You have feelings about some of your parents' words and actions, as well as their parenting style. Behind these emotions is something that may require further understanding.
It is also possible that parents, as elders, may be mistaken. If they do not learn or are unaware, their parenting model may have been inherited from their parents' model when they were young. As a result, there may be some incorrect words, actions, or concepts.
It's important to remember that parents often raise their children with ideas and teachings that may not align with the latest psychological or family education research. Sometimes, parents may unintentionally overlook their children's feelings or ideas, or they may not fully understand them.
It is possible that the generation gap and discrepancies between you may result in some emotional changes. Your emotions may indicate that your inner psychological needs have not been fully acknowledged or met.
It is important to note that being filial does not necessarily entail unquestioningly accepting one's parents' views.
In addition, it is important to note that there are various forms of filial piety, including filial piety of the heart, filial piety of the body, and filial piety of the mind. It seems that the confusion you mentioned may be related to filial piety of the heart.
Filial piety is about creating a comfortable and respectful environment for your parents, rather than allowing them to exert control over your actions. It's important to find a balance between respecting your parents' wishes and maintaining your individuality and autonomy.
If you always listen to your parents, you may miss out on developing your own identity. It's important to recognize that you are an individual with your own thoughts, beliefs, and values. Times are constantly changing, and so must our ideas and concepts. It's natural for you, who grew up in a different era and background than your parents, to have differing views on certain topics.
It is likely that this conflict will result in contradictions, arguments, and emotions. This conflict can assist your parents in recognizing their inherent patterns and encouraging them to be mindful of their words and actions.
It is possible that this conflict may initially make your parents feel somewhat uncomfortable, but it is important to remember that this is not your responsibility.
It is also possible to find a way to reconcile conflict and filial piety. You can express your views and ideas in a calm and respectful manner.
Ultimately, it is up to your parents to decide whether or not to accept your views and thoughts, and whether or not they become emotional as a result. This has nothing to do with filial piety.
It is also possible to express conflicts and contradictions to each other in a calm and respectful manner. This can be considered an act of filial piety.
Furthermore, it is important to understand that parents in this era may also feel some discomfort and resistance to change. It is essential to be patient and understanding as they adapt to the progress of this era.
I hope things work out for you!
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Comments
I can relate to the teacher's perspective on how anger from unfair treatment can fester. It's a complex emotion that intertwines with our sense of justice and selfworth. When we feel wronged, especially by those close to us, it's hard to find an outlet for that pain. We might suppress it, hoping it will go away, but it only grows stronger. In a family setting, where filial piety is valued, this can be particularly challenging. How do we reconcile our duty to our parents with the need to address past hurts? Is being a good person simply about suppressing our feelings?
The idea that someone who mistreats their parents can't treat others well is a heavy burden. It feels like there's no escape from the judgment. But I think true change starts with acknowledging the pain and working through it, not just burying it. Maybe talking to a trusted friend or seeking professional help could provide some clarity. We all have the potential to grow and become better, even if we've been hurt.
It's heartbreaking to think about how unresolved anger can affect someone's life. The pressure to conform to societal expectations, especially in cultures that emphasize respect for elders, can lead to a lot of internal conflict. If someone has been treated unfairly by their family, it doesn't automatically make them a bad person. Everyone deserves a chance to heal and learn from their experiences. Perhaps finding a way to express those feelings in a healthy manner, like through art or writing, could help release some of that pentup emotion.
The teacher's words resonate deeply with me. Anger and resentment can indeed become so deeply buried that they shape our behavior in ways we don't even realize. In a family context, where filial piety is so important, it's easy to feel trapped between loyalty and personal wellbeing. But being a good person isn't just about following traditions; it's also about being honest with yourself. Maybe the first step is to acknowledge the hurt and work towards healing, rather than letting it define who you are. It's okay to seek help and support along the way.
When we talk about filial piety, it often seems like there's an expectation to always be perfect, to never show weakness. But what if the real strength lies in facing our pain headon? The anger from being treated unfairly can be a powerful motivator for change. Instead of suppressing it, maybe we can use it as a catalyst to improve ourselves and our relationships. It's not about being a "good" or "bad" person; it's about growth. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is take care of our own emotional health, even if it means confronting difficult truths.