Hello, question asker!
I just wanted to say, well done to you and your wife! It's so hard to know what to do when our little ones misbehave, but you handled it so well. I really admire you for not losing your cool and not resorting to criticism, scolding or beating.
The wonderful psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud divided personality development into five stages based on the satisfaction of sexual impulses in different parts of the body.
This lovely oral phase lasts from birth to around 18 months.
This is such an important time for babies! They need to eat with their mouths, which is their number one need.
Babies are just so adorable! They perceive the world with their little mouths, and they get so much pleasure and a sense of security from oral activities like sucking, swallowing, and chewing.
They love to suckle, suck their fingers, bite things, and explore everything with their little hands. They're just so curious! They don't always eat with their mouths, but they enjoy feeling the textures and sensations.
Freud thought that this desire to seek oral pleasure would continue into adulthood. For example, we all know that sucking a thumb, kissing, biting things, smoking, and drinking are all developments of oral pleasure.
If oral desires are satisfied, it can really help with the normal development of an infant's emotions and personality. If oral activities are restricted during this period, it may have a negative impact on the child's development, so it's really important to let them explore and enjoy!
For example, if your little one is suddenly weaned or weaned too early, or if you or their caregivers prevent or scold them from eating their fingers, they may still be finger-sucking at the age of three or four.
If the oral stage isn't fulfilled in infancy, it can lead to some challenges in adulthood. Some folks might engage in nail biting, smoking, drug abuse, alcoholism, and other less-than-desirable behaviors. In intimate relationships, they may be overly clingy or overly dependent on their spouse.
The anal stage is around 1-3 years old, which is a really exciting time for little ones!
It's totally normal for kids to be curious about sex during this time. They might be interested in anal or defecation as a way to explore their bodies and discover new things.
And there's another way to look at this, too. When we're talking about anal pleasure, it's not just about the physical. It's also about how it makes us feel on the inside.
As children grow and develop, they start to become aware of their own individual identity and realize that they are different from others. They used to think that they had complete control over who they were, but now they understand that they are not just one single entity, but a complex and multifaceted person. This can be a challenging and confusing time for them, as they navigate these new feelings and understandings.
The main thing we're aiming for here is to help our little ones gain some self-control through potty training.
And having control over urination and defecation helps them to establish their identity, as they realize that only things they can control themselves really belong to them. This also brings about the first period of rebellion in the development of the personality, and it is also during this period that children first learn to say "no" to their parents!
It's during the anal-retentive phase that a sense of control becomes really important. So, it's no surprise that the personality traits that are fixed during this phase show a particular concern for a sense of control.
And they also tend to generalize this sense of control to the people, things, and objects around them.
If parents are a bit too strict and have a few conflicts with their little ones, it can sometimes lead to a bit of an anal personality. This can be expressed in some less-than-ideal behaviors, like being a bit sloppy, wasteful, disorganized, unrestrained, or even violent.
The other type is the anal-retentive personality type, which includes being overly clean, overly concerned with order and details, stubborn, stingy, and patient.
Freud thought it was really important for parents to be gentle and not start potty training too early.
The lovely period from 3 to 6 years is also known as the Oedipus period.
1) It's so interesting how during this period, the genitals become the most important erogenous zone!
It's totally normal for kids in this age group to be really curious about their bodies and to be interested in and curious about their sexual organs. They also discover that touching them can feel strangely pleasurable.
It's totally normal for boys to become aware during the genital phase that touching their penises makes them hard and gives a different kind of pleasure. And it's also totally normal for girls to discover that touching the area where they pee gives a special feeling.
When parents notice these behaviors in their children, they may show shocked and angry expressions and forbid them. The children may stop doing these things, but their pleasure does not disappear with it. They will probably find another opportunity to try it again to satisfy their curiosity.
Parents can help their little ones by showing them the differences between body structures and genders. It's also important to take a healthy and positive attitude towards every body and every sensation. This is a natural part of growing up, so it's okay for kids to explore their bodies and discover new things.
2) At this stage, children are learning so much! They're becoming more aware of gender, learning to distinguish between boys and girls, and understanding the differences between the two. They're also learning how to protect themselves.
It's so important for parents to gently and kindly tell their little boys around the age of three that they will grow up to be men just like their dads. And they should tell their sweet girls that they will grow up to be women just like their mommies. It's also really helpful to make sure that you don't dress your boys like girls and your girls like boys, because it can sometimes confuse their gender identity.
It's totally normal for kids to feel a bit jealous and competitive towards their same-sex parent during this time.
As they grow up, they start to feel more comfortable being close to their opposite-sex parent, while still having some mixed feelings about their same-sex parent.
Children who are stuck in this phase often develop what we call the "Oedipus complex" or the "Electra complex." This is where they compete with their same-sex parent for their opposite-sex parent and develop a desire to attack.
This stage is really quite complex from a psychological point of view. Freud thought that the answer was to encourage children to identify with their same-sex parents. This helps them to understand that they can't attack their parents, and it also helps them to form a positive mental image of themselves. They start to think, "I can become like my same-sex parent, and when I grow up, I will find a same-sex partner who is like my opposite-sex parent."
It's so important to encourage healthy competition in children. This is when they start to develop their competitiveness at home.
It's so important to encourage and control this competitive nature so that the wild vitality in the child's id can become humanized without losing it.
So, it's important for parents to remember that it's okay for their kids to win sometimes. It's all about finding a balance. Kids need to learn how to compete in a healthy way, and that often means turning the competition into a fun game.
The latency period lasts from age seven to puberty.
As children enter the latency period, their sexual desires may seem to slow down and change a bit.
As we grow up, our minds develop all kinds of interesting things like a sense of morality, a sense of beauty, a sense of shame, and even a fear of being disliked by others. All of these things can make it a bit tricky for our sexual desires to come to the surface. They tend to stay hidden away in our subconscious until we reach puberty.
Between the ages of 12 and 20, i.e., during puberty, a person's psychological and physical maturity increases, and they are finally ready to reproduce. It's an exciting time!
It's totally normal for sexual energy to surge during adolescence. It's also totally normal for adolescents to start turning their sexual needs towards the opposite sex of a similar age and to start thinking about a sexual life and marriage and family. It's important for them to learn to express these urges in a socially acceptable way.
If this stage of development is healthy, then marriage and child-rearing in the future will be able to satisfy these mature sexual instincts, which is great news!
It's so important to understand and value the sexual and psychological development of children at different stages, and to provide proper sex education during childhood. It really makes a big difference for children and their future lives!
It's so important to understand the five stages of children's and adolescents' sexual psychological development. And it's also helpful to look at children's behaviors in daily life, such as hand-eating, holding back urine, and touching genitals.
Good sex education is all about communication, understanding, and providing guidance in a kind and correct way. It's important not to misinterpret a child's behavior or stop and criticize them rudely, as this can affect their healthy growth.
Comments
This is a sensitive issue, and it's important to approach it with care and understanding. It sounds like your son may be exploring his body, which can be a normal part of development, but the recording aspect and frequency raise concerns. You might consider speaking with a pediatrician or a child psychologist who specializes in child development and behavior to get professional advice on how to address this situation appropriately.
It's crucial to maintain open communication with your child without making him feel ashamed or guilty. Discussing these behaviors openly and setting appropriate boundaries while reassuring him that he is loved and supported can be beneficial. Professionals can provide guidance on how to have these conversations effectively and establish healthy habits.
Considering the complexity of the situation, consulting a child psychiatrist or a behavioral therapist could offer insights into why your son might be engaging in these activities and how best to respond. They can also advise on monitoring device usage and creating a safer environment at home. Professional organizations such as the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry or local equivalents can offer guidelines and resources for parents dealing with similar issues.