How to escape from ghostly friends? How to run when being targeted?

Hello, my dear friend. I can feel from your words that you are frustrated, dissatisfied, and saddened by your relationship problems. First of all, I want to give you a big hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

It's totally normal to feel triggered by repetitive negative interactions. Your body is reacting to a situation that feels unsafe or unfair. It's like your mind is sending you a warning signal. When you feel attacked or treated unfairly, your instinctive reaction may be to withdraw or fight back. But, neither of these responses is helpful for a healthy relationship.

It's totally normal to feel a bit helpless in these situations. We all expect an exchange based on equality and respect, but sometimes we get ignored or even belittled.

I can see you're struggling with some tough memories. It's totally normal to remember negative experiences more vividly because our brains are wired to pay attention to negative emotions. This is a natural self-protection mechanism. But, if you find yourself constantly replaying these unpleasant memories, it can start to affect your mental health.

I know it can be tough, but try to find positive ways to deal with these memories. Things like keeping a diary, drawing pictures, or talking to a trusted friend about your feelings can really help. It can be a great way to release emotions and gradually reduce the impact of these memories on your current life.

We can definitely discuss how to deal with inappropriate behavior from others. I really hope this helps!

It's so important to set boundaries and stick to them. When someone crosses your boundaries, it's okay to express that you don't accept that kind of treatment. You don't have to respond in the same way, but it's good to say firmly that you don't like it.

For example, when your sister-in-law speaks to you in an unkind tone of voice again, you can calmly say, "I'm sorry, I don't like this way of talking. Let's talk calmly again, okay?"

It would be really helpful for you to learn some communication skills, such as Nonviolent Communication (NVC). This can help you express your needs in conflict while also respecting the other person.

For example, instead of getting upset or avoiding the issue, you could say something like, "I feel sad when I hear what you say, and I hope we can communicate in a more respectful way."

It's okay to feel angry or hurt. We all do. When you feel that way, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. This will help you think and respond more clearly, rather than reacting impulsively.

It's so important to be kind to yourself! Your self-worth doesn't depend on what others think, and your self-esteem shouldn't be affected by what others say or do.

You can give yourself a little boost by repeating some positive, self-affirming words to yourself, like, "I know I deserve respect, and I don't need to put up with unfair treatment."

It's okay to feel angry, but try not to fight back. Although fighting back may give you temporary satisfaction, it often makes the situation worse. Try to remain dignified and calm, and don't lower yourself to the other person's level.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to ask for help! You can always turn to friends or professionals for support. Sometimes, a fresh perspective from someone else can help you see things more clearly and come up with new solutions.

?Focus on yourself and all the wonderful things you can do! Develop your interests and improve your skills. This will help you feel stronger when faced with challenges in your relationships.

It's okay to let go sometimes. If someone is still having a negative impact on you, it might be time to rethink the relationship. Sometimes, staying away from negative people is the best choice for you.

We can't control how other people act, but we can control how we react. It's so important to keep calm and not let negative feelings get the better of us. Our mental health depends on it!

Also, remember that everyone has their own shortcomings, including your senior sister. It's possible that her behavior is a result of her own stress and problems, not directed entirely at you.

If you're still struggling with this, it might be helpful to chat with a counselor. They can offer more professional guidance and support. And remember, it's also important to take care of your emotional and mental health. Sending lots of love your way!

I really hope my answer is helpful for you! I love you all so much, and I hope you know that! ???

Dear colleague, I appreciate your sharing your experience. It's clear that you're grappling with a challenging situation. In the scenario you outlined, you were placed in a difficult and uncomfortable position, and I empathize with your feelings on the matter.

The behavior of your senior colleague that you mentioned clearly made you feel uncomfortable and even a little used. You felt disadvantaged in the communication, which led to feelings of frustration and anger.

Individuals may exhibit different behaviors when confronted with stress and challenges. It is possible that your supervisor has become emotionally unstable due to the pressure of graduation and job hunting, which may have influenced her behavior and attitude towards you.

However, this does not imply that you are obliged to tolerate the situation or that you are at fault. Psychology has a concept called "boundaries," which refers to the limits that individuals establish in relationships to safeguard themselves from the adverse effects of others.

In your description, you may need to set clearer boundaries, for example, by learning to express your feelings and position firmly when faced with rude tones and accusations.

In regard to self-expression, you indicated that you find it challenging to respond to accusations. This may be due to a need to identify the most effective method for articulating your feelings and stance. Psychologist Carl Rogers proposed the concept of "unconditional positive attention," which encourages sincerity and openness in communication while respecting the other person.

When you are calm, you can practice expressing your feelings in a calm tone of voice. For example, you might say, "I feel sad when you speak to me like that. I don't feel respected."

In terms of managing negative emotions, psychologist Daniel Kahneman notes in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow that individuals often require time to process negative emotions when they arise. You may wish to consider employing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or walking, to help calm yourself before addressing the situation.

It is crucial to adopt a positive coping strategy when faced with interpersonal conflict and discomfort. It is essential to recognize that our feelings are valid and that everyone has the right to feel comfortable and respected in interpersonal relationships.

By affirming yourself, you can enhance your self-confidence and more effectively convey your needs and feelings.

Effective communication is the key to solving problems. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming the other person. This will reduce the other person's defensiveness and facilitate communication between the two of you.

For example, you might say, "I feel somewhat uncomfortable when you speak to me in that manner." By clearly communicating your feelings and expectations, you set clear boundaries.

This will not only help to protect your interests, but also assist the other party in understanding your position, thereby avoiding future disagreements.

Do not hesitate to seek assistance from friends, family, or professionals when facing difficulties. They can provide a different perspective and guidance to help you navigate the situation more effectively.

Should the other party's conduct persist in causing you discomfort, it may be necessary to take action. This could entail reducing contact with the other party or, if appropriate, clearly stating your intention to terminate the relationship.

It is your right to protect yourself from harm and to choose how to deal with these situations in a way that is best for you.

Those sudden negative memories can really make you feel bad. But you know what? They keep coming back because deep down you haven't completely let go.

Give yourself some time to feel sad if you need to, but remind yourself that what happened in the past is in the past and that you're stronger now.

It's not your fault if you're a bit tactless sometimes. We all have our own way of expressing ourselves. Next time you encounter this situation, try preparing some simple and direct responses in advance, such as: "I understand that you may be feeling bad, but I feel uncomfortable with this tone of voice."

Practice self-affirmation. It might feel a little awkward at first, but with a little practice, you'll find you can stand up for yourself more confidently.

Some people change when they're under pressure, but that doesn't mean you have to accept all negative behavior. You did a great job of standing up for yourself, for example, by offering a different perspective when she complained about her thesis.

As for her reaction, that's something she needs to work through, not something you need to worry about. Keep your distance from her petty actions, and don't pay too much attention to her comments or hints, because you know your own value and don't need to define it through other people's actions.

When you're dealing with these kinds of interpersonal relationship issues, it's important to set boundaries. Make it clear with her which behaviors you won't accept, and then reduce the non-essential contact you have with her. There's no need to maintain superficial harmony.

If someone in your circle of friends gets the relationship wrong, just set the record straight. Don't over-explain it, because those who know you will understand.

Treat yourself with kindness. Give yourself the love and nourishment you need, both physically and mentally.

Do the things you enjoy and spend time with people who make you feel good. There are many great things in life, so don't let these unpleasant experiences get you down.

You deserve respect and the ability to create a healthier and happier environment for yourself. Go for it!

I get it. I know it's tough to move on from something that hurt you. When you're facing accusations and attacks, it can feel like you're at a loss.

But remember, it's not your fault, and you have every right to protect yourself and defend your interests.

First of all, I'd suggest you try to keep some distance from your senior colleague. Her emotional outbursts and behaviour seem a bit unhealthy and could have a negative impact on you.

You can respond to her accusations politely, but don't worry too much about her attitude. Remember, your value isn't defined by her opinion.

Secondly, if you feel like you can't argue or defend your interests, take a moment to calm down and clear your head. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings can help you express yourself more clearly.

You can also get help from others, like talking to a trusted friend or family member, or getting professional psychological counseling.

I'd say it's important to be aware of how to avoid being targeted by such people. Don't be too quick to believe other people's promises or good intentions, and learn to discern the truth.

At the same time, remember to stay independent and autonomous and don't let anyone tell you what to do. If you feel uncomfortable or threatened, you can take action, like refusing to take part in certain activities or maintaining a certain distance.

Finally, I want to remind you that everyone has the right to protect themselves and defend their own interests. Don't let anyone else's attitudes or words make you feel like your own value is less than it is.

Remember, you're one of a kind, and your life is worth respect and appreciation. I hope these tips are helpful. Best of luck!