How to handle a temperament that boils over easily, with a quick temper that can't be controlled?

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach. I provide sincere and attentive support.

I empathize with your situation and understand the challenges you're facing, as I've experienced similar circumstances. To illustrate, while others may become visibly upset at the same issue, I tend to become significantly more agitated.

Individuals in my immediate circle often liken my anger to an erupting volcano. Fortunately, emotions tend to dissipate relatively rapidly.

Let's begin with a brief, friendly embrace, and then we can discuss the matter further.

1. Emotions are neither inherently positive nor negative. They are a form of energy that serves a protective function to a certain extent.

Fear, for instance, encourages us to avoid potential hazards. Similarly, anger can assist in defining boundaries with others and avoiding offense.

The term "impatience" and "bad temper" can be considered synonyms for the emotion of anger. It is possible to maintain a sense of awareness, or to "see" your anger.

Emotions serve as a means of communication, using "anger" as a way to deliver an important message to you. If you choose not to accept it, they will continue to send the message until you do.

It is important to recognise that every emotion is a signal that an unmet need is present. When experiencing anger, it is helpful to acknowledge both the emotion itself and the underlying need, which may be for understanding, acceptance or approval.

It would be beneficial to consider alternative methods of meeting this need, rather than resorting to impatience and anger.

Observation is the first step in initiating change, and it provides the foundation for making informed decisions.

2. You also indicated that your family members tend to be impatient.

Each individual brings their own inherent patterns into all kinds of relationships.

These patterns are initially observed and learned from parents and the original family. The reason for their formation is that they have historically provided protection.

It is precisely because they have provided protection in the past that it is challenging to alter these patterns without feeling a sense of indebtedness.

Anger can also be a result of fear, which is then used as a means of self-protection and to dispel fear.

Fear can be likened to a wall that impedes progress. When one feels secure, they are more likely to actively dismantle it. Conversely, when one lacks security, they are more inclined to reinforce it.

The strength that drives us to build walls and tear them down stems from a sense of security. This can be addressed through enhancing a sense of worth, which is a subjective evaluation of oneself.

A sense of worth enhances a sense of security. It is important to note that a sense of worth is a subjective evaluation of oneself and is not influenced by external factors.

Individuals with a low sense of value often lack a sense of security, which can result in the use of words or actions to control or suppress those who are perceived as weaker.

To enhance a sense of value, you can begin by consistently affirming your own worth, providing yourself with positive reinforcement, and affirming, praising, understanding, and accepting yourself.

For further details, please refer to my article, "It Turns Out That the Root Cause of Psychological Problems Is This," available on my personal website.

I hope the above is helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, please click on "Heart Exploration Coach."

You say that everyone in the family has a short temper, that people are easily irritable and impatient, that when they are in a bad mood they keep arguing with people and even shout, and that the heat makes them even more likely to lose their temper. You ask what good methods of emotional management there are, and you have deliberately tried to control yourself, but you've realized that it is still not enough to rein in your emotions. The more you try to control them, the more out of control you feel.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. Most of us believe that negative emotions will make us lose control, so we try to control them. This is a mistake. Emotions cannot be controlled. As you said, the more you try to control them, the crazier you get. Emotions need to be released. They need to flow. They need an outlet. They cannot be suppressed.

You need to manage your emotions.

Lie down or relax in whatever position you find most comfortable. Breathe deeply and name your emotions. Then relax your body and identify which parts feel uncomfortable.

Soothe the body parts that feel uncomfortable and allow emotions to flow freely.

Step 2: Explore what you want.

Step 3: The ABCs of emotion management. A is the event that occurred. B is your interpretation of the event.

Step 4: Talk to your inner parent.

Step 5: Get the other person's side of the story.

Finally, I will provide an action plan for preventing the recurrence of such events. This plan will be actionable, quantifiable, and executable.

Step 7: Summary.

If you need help, get it. Talk to a counselor. They can help you release emotions, explore your inner needs, and slowly change your internal patterns.

Hello! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

After reading your description, I could tell that everyone in your family has a short temper. You said that people are naturally very excitable, that you're impatient, and that when you're in a bad mood, you tend to argue with others, even shouting. I could also tell that the heat makes you more likely to lose your temper. I'm happy to help you learn some good emotional management methods!

It's important to remember that our temperament type is probably a combination of the choleric type. There's no need to deny it or try to change it. Emotions can't be controlled by deliberate means. You've also discovered that the more you try to control your emotions, the more out of control you become because you're repressing them. Emotions aren't suppressed. As Freud said, "Repressed emotions do not disappear, but will erupt at an opportune moment."

So, if we want to truly control our emotions, the best thing we can do is accept them, be aware of them, and then let them go.

I'd love to share some tips with you that I think you'll find really helpful!

1. Take some time to understand yourself. We are all born with a choleric temperament, which is perfectly normal! There's no such thing as a good or bad temperament type, and it doesn't determine how successful you'll be in life.

Psychologists have identified four main types of human temperament: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholic. Based on your description, it seems like you might be choleric. This type of person can work for long periods without tiring, appears energetic, acts extroverted, is straightforward and enthusiastic, has high emotional excitability, but has drastic mood changes, is short-tempered, and difficult to restrain. Is this a fair assessment?

It's true that a person's temperament type is pretty much set in stone throughout their life. It's not impossible to change, but it will take time and effort. As the saying goes, "It is easy to change the landscape, but difficult to change one's nature." So, if we are choleric by nature and want to become slow, gentle, methodical, and passionless like a phlegmatic person, it is very difficult. But there's no need to do that!

It's important to remember that our temperament type doesn't give us much choice when it comes to change. What we can do is understand ourselves, focus on the positive aspects of our temperament, and work on managing the negative aspects.

It's also important to remember that there's no such thing as a "good" or "bad" temperament type. Your temperament type won't determine how successful you are in life. Lots of famous people in history are choleric, and the famous Russian writer Alexander Pushkin is also choleric.

When we choose a job that suits our temperament, it's a great feeling! We feel at ease and have a strong interest in our work. This is an important factor in determining a person's development.

2. It's so important to accept our personalities and realize that we can be easily irritated. When emotions arise, it's helpful to try to understand why we're angry.

As I mentioned before, it can be tough to change who we are deep down. Our personalities are shaped by how easily we get agitated. So when we feel those emotions, we can try to understand why we're angry, what makes us feel uncomfortable, and whether there are certain unmet needs.

When your emotions come, don't rush to react. Take a moment to observe yourself with curiosity and see the reason for your emotions. You'll find that you're actually not so easily irritated.

For instance, even though I'm a phlegmatic personality, I can still get angry. But when I do, I don't act as grumpy as you do. Instead, I'll hold it in, which makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. So, I'll try to understand why I get angry. Later, I found that one of the main reasons is that I really hope everyone will recognize me and not criticize me. I also hope they'll only say good things about me. This shows that I really need the affirmation of others.

But not everyone is going to agree with me all the time. In particular, when I meet some straightforward people, they'll often disagree with me and even attack me, which makes me feel even worse. It wasn't until later that I saw this need in myself and the unreasonable belief hidden behind my anger—that you all have to recognize me—and I slowly adjusted. I realized that I needed so much approval from others because I didn't approve of myself enough. But when I grew psychologically and became able to approve of myself enough, when I encountered others denying me or even attacking me again, I would not be as nervous, afraid, or angry. Because I already know myself well enough, I can already give myself enough affirmation. At this time, other people's denials and attacks are not as "lethal" anymore.

So, you can also take a look at what might be causing you to get so angry. What needs might be hidden behind it?

I'd love to know what irrational beliefs might be hidden behind your anger.

3. The good news is that there are ways to release and deal with emotions.

If you can take a few deep breaths when you're feeling really angry, you can quickly calm down again. Here's a lovely exercise that can help you deal with stressful situations by focusing on deep breathing. For example, you can use this method when you're in conflict with someone and you really want to lose your temper.

This lovely method is called "box breathing," and it's a great way to slow down your breathing and focus your attention. When you do box breathing, even for just five minutes, it'll give you a calm body and an alert, focused mind.

Now, let's get started! Here are the steps: 1. Exhale all the air from your chest and hold your breath (count to 5). 2. Then, inhale through your nose (count to 5).

Take a moment to hold your breath (count to 5). Then, exhale through your nose (count to 5).

This is the cycle. It's called "box breathing" because it has four parts, like the four sides of a box.

For the best results, we recommend repeating this cycle for at least five minutes. If you have the time, you can also do a 10- to 20-minute session once a day.

This method works because when your body is under stress, your pulse and breathing rates rise, your blood vessels narrow, and your blood pressure rises. But don't worry! Breathing and meditation can influence your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to slow your heartbeat and breathing and improve blood flow and digestion.

And there's more! Breathing and meditation also affect the brain, helping to improve your mood, your concentration, and your ability to perform everyday tasks.

It's important to make sure you're comfortable when you practice, whether you're sitting or lying down. And if you feel any tension in your body, just let it go! As you breathe, relax your head, neck, and shoulders.

You've got this! When you're faced with a stressful situation, try focusing your attention on something positive. It could be a happy memory, a soothing image, or just a simple, positive thought. Let it be your anchor in those challenging moments. You've got this!

So, when you find yourself in a disagreement with someone and you notice your emotions rising, you can kindly tell the other person that you need a moment to yourself. Then, you can go and find a safer environment, such as the bathroom or another room where no one is, and you can start doing this exercise.

We all have some methods that we love and that help us to feel better. Try doing them regularly and you'll see how they can help you to feel more in control of your emotions. Some examples are: doing your favorite sports, writing in an emotional diary, talking to a trusted friend, or going for a walk in nature.

I really hope this helps! Wishing you all the best!

Good day.

It might also be said that people who often feel negative emotions tend to pay more attention to negative information, which in turn can trigger more negative feelings within. Therefore, to reduce inner stress, it may be helpful to learn how to reduce negative distractions.

In general, it may be helpful to consider that the problem can be divided into two types of negative interference.

1. Internal characteristics: personality and temperament.

2. External factors that may interfere with our ability to focus on the task at hand include environmental elements such as people and things in our surroundings.

These factors are the existence of an object, but we should not forget that we can also exert influence through subjective feelings. Sometimes the influence it brings is very positive and constructive, and sometimes its role can also generate a divided and opposing existence. We can use our own abilities to neutralize negative influences by connecting well with our inner being.

If a person is unable to connect with their body and mind, it can make it more challenging for them to perceive their true needs. They may experience a range of emotions, have difficulty organizing their thoughts, and find it difficult to sort out their thoughts and escape the prison of their mind. It's possible that excessive internal consumption could lead to a depletion of internal resources, and a lack of mental energy might make it more difficult to resist the influence of negative emotions.

It may be helpful to consider using the emotional buffer method as a way of resolving emotional impulses.

It's akin to the "people kicking cats" phenomenon. When emotions become unruly, if there is no awareness, the automatic emotional mode will be triggered, which may manifest as venting emotions until emotions return to a state of calm. When emotions become unruly, it may be helpful to find a way to cut off the automatic mode. One approach could be to temporarily step away from the emotional environment and return after calming down. Alternatively, one could count secretly to buffer their emotions for a few seconds before engaging with the situation. Both of these techniques provide a separate space for emotions to cool down, rather than circulating.

2. It would be beneficial to practice ways to deal with negative emotions on a regular basis.

There are a variety of ways to address negative emotions online, and you may also find it helpful to read books that provide a deeper understanding of emotions. It's understandable if you're not sure where to start. Sometimes, it's not that it's difficult to do, but that your mind is not clear about it, so you're unsure of how to proceed. Regular learning can not only help relieve inner anxiety, but also deepen your understanding of emotions and help you defuse emotional impulses.

3. Consider sharing your feelings and releasing your emotions.

Life has its ups and downs. It can be challenging to resolve inner emotions in a timely manner, and it's not uncommon to feel emotions without a clear reason. However, with thoughtful consideration and open communication, you can share your inner feelings and receive support and comfort, allowing emotions to be resolved, rather than accumulating inside until you're in a position to address them.

There is no need to be afraid of emotions. You might consider thinking of it as a little trumpet. It could be seen as an umbrella for self-protection. When we don't know how to protect ourselves or buffer conflicts, it will play a first protective role. It might be helpful to understand it and learn about it, so you can absorb and use it.

Please take your time.

If you're up for it, let's do this!

Hello! I just wanted to give you a big, warm hug for being so angry and frustrated.

Your question is very simple, but I think there's a lot going on behind it. Let me share my thoughts with you.

First, let me tell you that your family has its own way of expressing emotions.

You really identify strongly with tradition, and you identify in the way that I am also a hot-tempered person.

At this time, if you encounter anything, your first reaction will be, "Oh, our family tradition is to be grumpy, and I have to conform to our family tradition, so I have to be grumpy too..."

We often say, "People with the same temperaments are family." For you, being grumpy may be a sign of your identification with your family, which is totally understandable!

At this time, it's really important that you don't get short-tempered. If you can handle this calmly, you might feel like you've let your family down. Or they might say that you're not handling things the right way.

So in this situation, if you really control your temper, you might feel like you've let your family down.

So, you're facing a bit of a dilemma, aren't you? You want to identify with your family, but you've realised that this way isn't right for you. It can be hard to know how to express your approval to them, especially when you're trying to find your own way in the world.

I'm not sure what stage of life you're in right now, how old you are, whether you're living far from your family, whether you're still with them, or whether you're about to leave home. All of this might be affecting you, and you might have reached a stage of separation.

It's totally normal to feel a little torn about whether to separate. It's natural to feel like if you separate, you're abandoning them.

Of course, all of this is just theoretical, and it's not your actual situation.

It's okay to love your family very much. It's also okay to want to love them in a different way. It's natural to feel unsure about how to do that, and to worry that they won't be able to accept it. You might even worry that you won't be able to accept it yourself.

Then all you can do is just keep saying, "I'm not changing, I'll continue to identify with them in the same way as before. Then I'll convince myself that this is me, and this is how I love them."

And you tell yourself, "I need to love them in a different way. If I change my ways and stop identifying with their hot-temperedness, it doesn't mean I don't love them anymore. It also doesn't mean I'm not part of this family.

I said there are two little people in my head, and they're both trying to get my attention!

Perhaps it would be helpful to think about how we show love to our family.

I'm a bit of a mixed bag, I guess. I'm often both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I also try to be a positive and motivated counselor. And I love the world and I love you!

There are so many reasons for our different temperaments! When you catch yourself losing your cool, do you think it might be due to genetic inheritance, vicarious transmission from the family environment, or your own personal experiences, closely related to your physical condition and the way you handle emotions?

We all have to deal with all kinds of things in our lives, and there will always be a lot of discomfort. Some things are indeed very hard to understand, such as when your efforts are ignored, your rights are disregarded, and you are encroached upon.

It can feel like all your efforts are in vain, and that others are still trying to squeeze more out of you and make you give more. When you lose your temper easily, it may be because some things are really hard to understand. You can record them and see what they are.

You also have some hot-tempered reactions, and there may be some physical reasons for your passion, which is that it is very difficult to calm down patiently. This may require exercise when you were a child. Of course, temperament may also be a stable choleric temperament within the four humors, which determines what your true nature is like.

It's so common for our genes to influence the choices we make. If you feel like you always lash out, it might be because you have a lot of thoughts going on inside, and your mind is full of stress and worries.

It might also help to think about what situations make it easier for you to calm down and let things cool off. It seems like our relationship with emotions is still something that needs to be treated on a case-by-case basis. We can't just forcefully control them, right? I'd really recommend reading "Screw you, little emotions," "The Inner Orangutan: A Serious Emotion Evolution Theory," "If Only I Had Held Back Back Then: A Seven-Step Method of Emotion Management," and "Why Didn't You Just Say So?" You could also think about speaking to a psychological counselor. I hope you find what works for you!

ZQ?

Hello,

Kudos! You've recognized that you're also prone to excitement and are trying to control it.

This shows you're starting to understand yourself better.

But it's still not enough to keep a tight rein on my emotions.

This shows that even though you know it, you still have a weak inner will and you can't fully control your instincts.

As a matter of fact, most of us have a hard time controlling our temper.

Some people have already realized that getting angry won't solve any problems and have learned to control their temper.

The host is also trying to control his temper, but it still doesn't fully submit, and it often gets out of hand.

Is there no way to calm down except to keep repeating the cycle of losing my temper and feeling remorse?

There is a way to do this, but it depends on whether you are willing to do it.

Get to know your temperament.

The host has noticed that he tends to get excited easily and that he sometimes gets impatient.

Then there are two options:

Let your anger out.

2. When you feel yourself getting impatient, remind yourself that you need to change your mood.

If the landlord keeps making that choice, they'll end up as someone who gets angry all the time.

If the host chooses option 2, he'll be able to control his temper in the future.

2. Let your emotions run their course and accept whatever comes up emotionally.

When you can't hold back and lose your temper, the first thing you need to do is allow these emotions to happen and accept them.

It's not helpful to blame yourself when you're frustrated. Instead, take a moment to reflect on what happened. This can help you understand why you lost your cool and what you can do to avoid it in the future.

3. Take a step back and observe your own words and deeds from the perspective of someone else.

Once you've calmed down, take a step back and reflect on what you did and said.

How does it feel to look at it from an outsider's perspective? If you can feel the unbearable sight of yourself losing your temper,

Do you often find yourself doing this?

4. Don't let internal conflict get in the way and stay focused on what's important.

After losing your cool, don't beat yourself up about it. This kind of internal conflict is really damaging.

Make sure you focus on the important things in front of you and try to get rid of any internal conflicts.

Remind yourself that losing your temper is a sign of incompetence. It's better to be angry than to be incompetent.

It's not just the original poster who's in this situation. It's the confusion of most people.

Some people have already figured out that getting angry doesn't help, and they've learned to control their temper.

I'm just focusing on the important things.

And finally, I wish you all the best!

I'm sending warm regards to you all in June, and I hope you have a great summer!

Good day, my name is Evan.

From the description provided, it appears that all family members exhibit similar behavior. It would be beneficial for the questioner to determine if this is a pattern within the family or if it is isolated to the questioner's relatives. Some neurological conditions have genetic factors that can be challenging to manage independently. It may be advisable for the questioner to consider seeking a medical evaluation at a hospital specializing in neurology.

Does the questioner display emotional outbursts, irritability, and temper tantrums? A bad temper, lack of patience, and inability to properly vent anger affect the quality of the questioner's work performance and interpersonal relationships.

If the questioner can learn to control his temper and minimize the possibility of anger outbursts, this will not only improve the quality of life for the questioner, but it will also improve the quality of life for those with whom the questioner interacts professionally.

As the question was posed on this platform, I can only offer the questioner some straightforward advice on how to manage their anger.

It is important to understand anger.

Anger is caused by a combination of physical and mental factors. When we lose our temper, a chemical reaction occurs in the body that stimulates the nerves to trigger the fight-or-flight response (a physiological reaction when the body is threatened).

Many individuals who display negative emotional states will make the "war" choice due to chemical and hormonal reactions in the brain.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience physical reactions when they become angry. These reactions can manifest in various ways. If you notice any of the following, it may be an indication that you are on the verge of a full-blown rage attack:

Tight muscles and clenched teeth.

Please be aware that headaches or stomach aches may occur.

The heart rate increases.

Sudden sweating or trembling.

A sensation of lightheadedness.

It is important to pay attention to any changes in your emotional state.

When we are angry, our bodies exhibit certain symptoms and we experience a number of emotional changes. Our anger is not simply a feeling of irritation; it is also a manifestation of sadness or pain, which we may not know how to express and can only release through anger.

Monitoring these emotional changes allows us to gain insight into our temperament. The following emotional shifts are commonly observed:

Irritation

Depression and sadness.

Another emotion that may be experienced is guilt.

Anger

Anxiety is another factor that can contribute to a loss of temper.

Defensive psychology.

It is important to understand the root causes of your anger.

When you experience a loss of temper and become enraged, take a moment to reflect on the underlying causes of your anger. Observe the situation in which you lose your temper and identify the factors that contribute to your emotional state.

There are certain factors that can cause individuals to lose their temper involuntarily. These triggers often relate to previous emotions or memories, which may not be immediately apparent. In such cases, it is essential for the individual to engage in self-reflection to identify the underlying causes of their anger. The primary factors that contribute to anger in general can be summarized as follows:

A sense of dissatisfaction with one's circumstances and a lack of confidence in one's abilities are common triggers of anger.

A sense of being controlled by others.

A further factor is the intolerance of one's own mistakes.

It is advisable to avoid situations that may provoke anger.

If you are aware of the factors that contribute to your anger, it is advisable to avoid them. If there are multiple triggers, such as lack of sleep or increased work and life pressures, it is essential to take measures to avoid them.

If the source of the anger is opposition from others, it may be advisable to remove yourself from the situation or take some time to collect yourself. It may also be helpful to request that the other person clarify the specific issue at hand and avoid taking it personally.

Identify and address the underlying factors that contribute to your anger.

If the cause of the anger is linked to a specific memory or emotion, attempt to enhance that memory to mitigate its impact on your emotions.

For example, the reason why the questioner is easily angered by others' objections may be because they suffered significant rejection as a child. It is important to distinguish between rejection and constructive suggestions for improvement.

It is important to distinguish between rejection and suggestions for things to do. Being opposed by others is not the same as not being affirmed as a child. Affirmation is a different need than opposition. Affirmation is rare at home, while opposition is rare at work.

It is important to maintain control in challenging situations.

Should you notice an increase in your anger or agitation, it would be advisable to leave the situation to avoid losing control of your emotions. If possible, take some time to yourself to adjust and reduce your anger, which will help to avoid any extreme reactions.

If feasible, the questioner should attempt to regulate their breathing, take a deep breath, and relax their muscles to achieve a state of relaxation. Additionally, there are various breathing exercises that can be performed to learn how to relax. The specific exercises are as follows:

The next step is to focus on the muscles of the face and head. Tense these muscles for 20 seconds, then relax.

Contract and then release the muscles in your shoulders, arms, back, hands, abdomen, legs, feet, and toes, working from top to bottom.

Breathe deeply and allow relaxation to flow from your toes to the top of your head.

Identify the humor in the situation.

It is important to recognize that many things can be upsetting. However, rather than focusing on the negative aspect, it is beneficial to try to find humor in the situation.

It is advisable to maintain your sense of humor in adverse situations or make yourself laugh about other things in order to avoid hysteria and adjust the biochemical reactions in your body.

For instance, if a child were to spill a bag of flour in the kitchen, one might initially feel anger. However, if one were to view the situation with objectivity, as though observing it from a distance, it might be perceived as humorous.

After a brief interlude of levity, enlist your children's assistance in cleaning up the kitchen. This will transform a disagreeable task into a pleasant memory.

It would be beneficial to adjust your perception.

Cognitive restructuring can assist in eliminating negative emotions and replacing them with more constructive and meaningful positive thoughts. Anger has the potential to disrupt one's thought process. Learning how to think rationally can help individuals think clearly and avoid losing control of their emotions.

To illustrate, if an individual is late for work, they may experience negative emotions such as frustration and perceive the entire day as unfavorable. If the individual displays a strong emotional response, the entire day may be perceived as unpleasant.

In this case, the questioner can attempt to adjust their thoughts and view their previous thoughts in a more rational manner. It is important to recognize that a trivial matter is not sufficient to ruin your day, that your workplace will understand your situation, and that this kind of thing does not "always" happen to you. However, if you find yourself consistently late for work, it may be indicative of a larger problem with your time management.

If the questioner can recognize that anger is not a productive emotion, it can also help to avoid losing control of emotions. Given the difficulty of finding solutions (such as getting up early), it is important to avoid making the problem more complex.

It is advisable to seek psychological intervention.

The most effective method for addressing emotional issues is to seek timely intervention from a mental health professional. This will facilitate the healing of the underlying cause of anger. It is recommended to consult with a psychiatrist, who can provide guidance on techniques for relaxation in the presence of anger.

Furthermore, your doctor can assist you in enhancing your emotional control and fortifying your communication abilities. Additionally, a psychologist proficient in alleviating patients' past traumas, such as childhood violence, can also facilitate the separation between past experiences and current anger management challenges.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

Hello!

A short temper is caused by something deeper.

If you get angry when you can't solve a problem, leave the situation before you get upset. Find a quiet space to calm down.

If you often feel impatient and lose your temper over small things, it depends on the situation. If your family is the same, you should think about living independently if you can.

Your personality can't change overnight, especially not for family members. It'll be harder to change if you're in that environment for a long time.

If you already live independently, this may also happen with colleagues and others. Then, after calming down, try to understand why you reacted so emotionally through meditation or writing.

What need has not been met?

Read and study the book "Nonviolent Communication." It will help with your current problems.

I'm Big Brain Hole. Thanks for reading!