How to improve being easily affected by others' anger?

Good day, question owner. I can see the confusion you are facing right now. Please accept my best regards.

You are currently experiencing some emotional difficulties. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

It is possible that your current fear of other people's anger is related to your "inner child."

We all possess an "inner child" that is not our current age.

It appears that your "inner child" is stuck in the past, when you were a child and your mother scolded you, and when the boys in the fourth grade mocked you.

It is possible that the fourth-grade boy's taunting caused a certain degree of psychological harm.

It is imperative that the issue be addressed and resolved.

What is the recommended course of action at this time?

I recommend that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor to formally address your experience of being teased by a fourth-grade boy.

Additionally, you may wish to consider addressing your "inner child."

Inform your younger self that, at the time, you were too young to protect yourself and therefore had to accept your mother's disciplinary actions.

I then inform my inner child that I am now an adult and am fully capable of protecting myself. I also state that I no longer receive disciplinary actions from my mother.

During the aforementioned exercise, you may utilize a pillow to represent your inner child from childhood. It is possible that, upon completion of the exercise and embracing your childhood self, you may experience involuntary tears. In such a case, it is advisable to accept the situation.

Once this is accepted, the healing process can begin.

Should you require further assistance, I would also recommend enrolling in the course on "Healing the Inner Child," taught by Shi Jiaqi on this platform.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

Please accept my apologies, but these are the only suggestions I can offer at this time.

I hope my above response is helpful and inspiring to you. As the respondent, I am committed to studying hard every day.

On behalf of Yixinli, I would like to extend my best wishes to you.

Hello!

I'd love to know what the OP does in his spare time to make himself feel happy!

I'd love to know what hobbies make you happy! And when you're engaged in your hobbies, what's your physical state like?

How are you feeling today?

If you take a moment to observe, you'll see that when we're truly angry, our body responds in a way that's very different from when we're feeling love. When we're in love, our body is stretched out and completely relaxed, and we feel a strong sense of connection with ourselves. But when we return to feeling angry, it's challenging for us to observe our thoughts and control our body's response.

The story of the questioner is a great example of the growth process that most of us go through. We all complete our childhood growth in a confused and stumbling state, and then we enter social life. Many emotions are suppressed, from not knowing how to perceive one's own feelings, to experiencing the experience of anger, and then finding the true source of emotions. But then, slowly but surely, we discover ourselves, and we start to explore ourselves. And then, we learn to satisfy our own needs and feelings!

How do they handle their emotions?

1. Take some time for yourself to meditate, be aware of your emotions, and focus on the present.

A person, assuming there are no accidents, will repeat his or her own life pattern. But life is often full of surprises! When his or her life pattern is disrupted, those hidden emotions will come out to play. It can be tough to understand emotions when they're complex and difficult to identify. Just as the questioner mentioned, "Obviously it is someone else's emotion, but I have difficulty controlling my negative emotions," then how do mature people cope?

They often have a great ability to understand their own emotions and can quickly recognize when they're getting in their own way. It's so important to remember that we're only responsible for our current emotions, not automatically reacting to past emotional patterns. This is a great way to test our ability to reflect on our emotions. We can work on our thinking habits and improve our ability to think counter-surveillance through meditation and mindfulness exercises, so that we're not easily affected by our environment.

2. Let's move on from the past and try to make peace with it.

A beautiful past will give a person self-confidence and a driving force to build a better future. But a sad or traumatic experience will give a person negative thinking habits and pessimistic psychological suggestions. We should not let our future always be affected by the past. We need to make a summary of the past, get out of the negative influence brought by the past, release the feeling of inner burden, reconcile with the past through our own positive efforts, and change the negative influence brought by the environment. We should live in the present, look forward to the future, and not be shackled by the past, in order to have the strength of the present.

3. Don't hold back! Let your emotions flow and grow.

It's so important to remember that since emotional suppression can have a negative impact on our physical and mental health, we need to learn to relieve stress in a timely manner. There's absolutely no shame in feeling any emotion you're feeling. Emotions are a part of everyone, and they're totally normal. Emotional relief isn't about letting out your emotions at will. It's about taking care of yourself emotionally, based on a deep understanding of who you are.

I've got a few ideas for ways you can let off steam and feel better.

Treat yourself to a nice meal every week!

After work, why not treat yourself to a nice sing-song or a lovely walk in the fresh air?

It's so important to take care of yourself! One way to do this is by writing a daily mood journal to express your feelings honestly.

It's also a great idea to learn a hobby and enjoy some time to yourself!

fifth, treat yourself to some time in nature! Climb a mountain, take a trip, or just go for a walk. There's nothing like the beauty of nature to refresh your spirit.

Life is all about movement! Taking action to get rid of those inner knots can help you feel unblocked and renewed.

Wishing you the very best of luck!

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm so happy you reached out.

I'm so happy to answer your question!

From what the questioner has shared, it seems that their mother may be someone who is emotionally detached or rejecting. This can happen when parents don't pay enough attention to their children's emotional needs, or they don't share their emotions with them. It's also common for parents who are like this to scold or lecture their children.

It might be helpful for the questioner to observe whether their mother is this type of parent.

Of course, the influence of the original family on the questioner is only one aspect, and the questioner's own personality is also an aspect. From the questioner's description, it can be seen that the questioner's personality is also introverted, and they are not good at expressing themselves. This can make it really tough for them to know how to release their emotions when they're feeling them, which can cause internal conflict and, in severe cases, even depression.

We all get angry sometimes, and it can be really tough to let it go. But there are ways you can release that anger and avoid letting it get to you. Here are some simple suggestions for you:

It's so important to understand anger.

If you're the kind of person who often gets affected by the anger of others and often holds anger in your heart, you might feel like you've suffered more than the friend who released their anger.

If these emotions aren't resolved in a timely manner, carrying anger for too long can impact your emotional, psychological, spiritual, and even physical health.

In traditional Chinese medicine, anger can really harm the liver. And in Western medicine, anger can also cause high blood pressure or other problems in the circulatory system.

It can be really helpful to try to find the source of your anger.

It's totally normal to get affected and angry when someone else tells you about something that makes you unhappy or angry. We all have different things that make us feel this way! What makes you angry? Once you've identified what you've lost or the underlying problem, you can start to face it and release it.

Let's say a friend tells you that her boyfriend has cheated on her. She's really upset, and you can't help but feel furious too after listening to her. What are you angry about?

You empathize with your friend and feel that women are not treated with the respect and love they deserve. It's a sense of injustice, right? This requires the questioner to slowly become aware of the source of their anger.

It's okay to grieve, sweetheart.

It's so common for people to use anger as a way of covering up their own pain. When we're little, if our parents don't respond to our emotions, it can really hurt us. When you're by yourself, it's okay to take off this mask and let yourself feel the pain or loss you've experienced. You're not weak for doing this.

It's so important to remember that just because many people mistakenly believe that being sad means being weak, it doesn't mean that it is. Denying your own sadness is not a sign of strength. When something upsetting happens to the poster, it is completely pointless to deny how much pain it causes.

Pain doesn't just disappear just because you don't want to think about it. If you try to ignore it, it can actually make the pain last longer.

Instead of saying, "I'm angry," try saying, "I'm sad." You'll find that your sadness will help you feel better in the long run.

Let's try replacing resentment with compassion.

The hurt caused by your mother has had a big impact on you, and it's something you've carried with you into adulthood. It's natural to feel resentment towards your mother, but it's important to remember that she may have experienced similar treatment during her own childhood. She may have only brought up these issues now because she's forming her own family.

If she hadn't been hurt in some way, the mother would not have treated the questioner in that way. It's more likely that the mother's education, which came from her own family of origin, was passed on to the questioner.

It's also true that when a friend is angry, it can rub off on you. It's like negative emotions spread like diseases! If you catch someone else's negative emotions, it's probably because they've caught them from someone else before.

It's so important to try to understand them.

It's so important to understand why your mother treated you this way, why you are angry, and why others treated you this way. This doesn't mean that you have to condone, respect, or forgive the inappropriate behavior that made you angry.

So, when we say "understanding," we simply mean making a conscious choice to let go of the desire for vengeance and hatred towards those who have hurt you. It's important to note that understanding and forgiveness are not one and the same.

When you understand why mothers do the things they do, you can see that they're trying to purify their anger and resentment. They may even be more pitiful than you are! When you understand their behavior and the motives behind it, you can achieve a higher level of spiritual and mental health, reduce stress and anxiety, lower blood pressure, and bring you fewer symptoms of depression.

Try to find the bright side, my friend.

We all have to face a lot of challenges in life, but it's so important to look for the good in every situation. Even if something is making you angry, there are often some positive aspects or unexpected benefits to be found.

Find this side and hold onto it, my friend. It will help you cope with anger.

It can be really helpful to think about whether the pain you've experienced has helped you grow in any way. If not, it can be good to consider whether it has led you down a new path that you might not have experienced before. It's always worth thinking about the positive side of things!

If you're having trouble finding the bright side to a situation that's made you feel down, try looking at the good things in your life or things you're grateful for.

It would be really helpful for you to keep a diary.

It's a great idea to write your own personal emotional diary. This can be really helpful for you in recognising yourself and letting off steam.

It's time to write down all those emotions you felt as a child and all those you're feeling now. Hide your diary in a place only you know about. Keeping a diary is a great way to help you recognize your needs, let go of your emotions, and avoid any serious emotional problems.

It's so important to understand what's making you angry. Is there anyone else who'd like you to express your anger?

How are you feeling now, my dear? How is your body reacting?

How did the questioner handle these feelings? How long did it take for them to calm down?

Write these questions in your own diary too, and don't show them to anyone. You can read them out loud in a closed environment. When the subject is ready to let go of these emotions and is no longer so angry, they can take out the diary and destroy it.

It's okay to yell!

We all get angry sometimes. It's only natural. But when you're feeling that urge to scream, try burying your face in a pillow instead.

Yelling is a great way to let out all that pent-up anger! It's a natural way to release physical and psychological stress.

If you're shouting inside your pillow, try to avoid disturbing your neighbors.

Hey there! We know you're going through a rough patch, and we're here to help. Find a "tree hole" and let it all out!

There are lots of other "tree hole" websites on the Internet that let folks vent their emotions and grievances. You can even find a real tree hole to pour out your negative emotions, like unhappiness or anger, into!

This approach is designed to help you release your emotions so that they don't stay pent up inside, which could cause a relapse of depression.

Exercise is a great way to let out all that pent-up energy!

Just like shouting, exercise is a great way to let out your anger physically. If you don't feel like exercising, no problem! You can start small, like going for more walks.

If there's a particular type of exercise you love, it can be a great way to let go of negative emotions.

In any case, remember to love yourself and take care of yourself. If the friends around you always bring you down, you can distance yourself from them appropriately. As the saying goes, "Those who associate with reds will become red, and those who associate with blacks will become black." Spending time with positive people and being exposed to the optimism and positivity they display will help you bring a positive attitude back into your life.

With time, you can even start developing some lovely, positive thoughts to replace that anger. Just remember!

You can decide what kind of life you want, and I'm here to help you do just that!

I really hope my answer helps the person who asked the question.

Dear Questioner, I appreciate your inquiry.

In light of your query, I am able to perceive the distress you are experiencing. It is my hope that this gesture will provide you with a degree of fortitude.

1. With regard to the question of whether one is susceptible to being influenced by the anger of others,

The question is, "How can I improve my tendency to become angry easily?"

When an individual discloses a distressing experience to me, I often experience a stronger emotional response than they do. However, I am uncertain about the most appropriate way to express my frustration. I am unable to advise them to cease the disclosure, so I must suppress my anger and engage with them in a venting session. In reality, I am experiencing a buildup of distress, accompanied by a sense of overwhelming pain and suffering. However, I have become accustomed to maintaining a outwardly calm demeanor.

In the past, when you often felt angry, you elected to suppress it.

It is evident that you aspire to enhance your circumstances when confronted with the anger of others. Consequently, might it be posited that you are in fact exceedingly intolerant and incapable of tolerating your own anger?

In the subsequent inquiry, the respondent provided a self-answer, as they had been diagnosed with major depression. In fact, they can authentically express their feelings and thoughts when they are unable to tolerate the other person's persistent monologue, and this will not harm the relationship.

The act of suppressing one's genuine emotions and sentiments can have a detrimental impact on the quality of a relationship. Over time, the suppression of these emotions can lead to their sudden and inexplicable emergence.

As a result, these emotions are not subject to conscious control, as they are expressed subconsciously and unconsciously.

2. Regarding my mother's scolding.

One of the reasons is rooted in my childhood experiences. During my formative years, if I did not comply with my mother's requests, she would reprimand me. She instructed me to wear a specific article of clothing, but I declined. She became impatient and ordered me to wear it regardless. I persisted in my refusal, and she admonished me further. I also manifested my anger, but she responded with an even more vehement scolding. I became distressed, but she disregarded my distress and continued to admonish me. Over time, regardless of the circumstances or my emotional state, I became conditioned to never confide in anyone.

It is evident that the younger version of yourself desired a closer relationship with your mother but was unsuccessful in achieving this. It is reasonable to conclude that this resulted in feelings of sadness, disappointment, frustration, agitation, resentment, and even anger.

It is possible that other negative feelings may require self-awareness for healing.

It is important to note, however, that the responsibility for this treatment does not lie with the individual in question. Indeed, it is less their fault now than it was then.

It is not necessary for individuals, regardless of their age, to internalize their parents' negative emotions.

Indeed, anger can be inherited. When a mother is perpetually angry with her child, the child is, in effect, experiencing the emotion of anger on a constant basis.

As a young child, one is typically unable to effectively cope with anger. Over time, individuals may learn to suppress this emotion. This suppression can result in the accumulation of unresolved anger, which may eventually manifest as depression.

In this context, it seems pertinent to share with the original poster a psychological tool for releasing emotions, namely an emotion diary.

The next time an instance of anger arises, the individual may record their experience in an emotion diary, regardless of the specific type of anger experienced. Even if the individual chooses to simply write out their anger, this act can still be viewed as an expression of the subconscious.

Professional counselors maintain that expressing anger is a relatively straightforward and simple method for self-healing. Consequently, when experiencing anger directed at another's emotions, it is advisable to remind oneself that the underlying issue is a mental illness and to permit the anger to be felt.

Indeed, upon recovery from depression, one may find that anger is a potent force that can assist in safeguarding one's psychological boundaries. In the future, rather than dismissing anger, it may be beneficial to allow it to emerge in one's journal, engage with it thoughtfully, and explore its underlying issues.

3. Regarding Severe Depression

In reference to the original poster, it was indicated that a diagnosis of major depression has been made. It is presumed that the individual in question must have experienced significant distress prior to the onset of this condition.

It is important to note, however, that depression can be cured. Furthermore, the symptoms of depression themselves are survival signals developed by the subconscious.

A significant number of individuals who have experienced depression have not only managed to overcome it through a combination of psychiatric medication and professional counseling, but have also developed a remarkable resilience that sets them apart from the general population.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned responses prove beneficial to you. I extend my deepest sympathies and affection to you and all of humanity.

Hello, questioner! I was fortunate to have the opportunity to read your text description, and I was intrigued to see that you identified the initial cause of your emotions.

Take a moment to give yourself a warm hug and congratulate yourself on your ability to be self-aware.

It is important to remember that emotions can be contagious. When someone shares something frustrating that has happened to them, I find that I tend to feel a similar level of frustration in response.

It is important to recognize the role that emotions play in our lives. They are a form of energy that needs to flow freely in order for us to thrive.

When the external world does not meet our expectations and needs, negative emotions may arise. If this negative emotion does not flow smoothly and becomes blocked in the body, it may result in feelings of unhappiness, anger, or depression. Over time, it can also potentially contribute to some psychological or physical diseases. For example, as we often say, anger can have a negative impact on the liver, which is a typical example of how emotions can affect the body.

❤️Next, it would be helpful to regulate emotions. It's worth noting that emotions are neither good nor bad; they can reflect whether our needs are being met. There are a few methods of regulation that could be helpful:

1. It may be helpful to learn to care for yourself. When you notice you have emotions, you might try stopping, taking a deep breath, and labeling the emotion.

The emotion will then subside. As the saying goes, naming an emotion can help us to understand and manage it better.

It would be beneficial to locate emotions. All emotions have a physical location, such as the chest or stomach. By locating emotions in a certain part of the body, we can gain insight into what is really going on.

It might be helpful to think about ways of softening, comforting, and allowing. You could try softening and comforting through physical contact, soft-spoken reassurance, and so on, to help your body relax and quiet down. Then, with a caring heart, you could allow yourself to feel the pain and discomfort, learn to accompany yourself, and accept your emotions.

2. It might be helpful to explore your real needs. Perhaps you could ask yourself what you really want?

Could you please clarify what the unmet need was that caused such strong emotions? It would also be helpful to understand the needs of the other person.

3. The ABCs of emotions: A is the event that triggers the emotion, B is the individual's interpretation of the event, and C is the emotional and behavioral outcome of the individual in a specific situation.

In other words, it would be helpful to understand what caused the result. The interpretation of the event is likely to be an important factor.

Then, it might be helpful to find a solution. There are probably some methods that could be used, for example, when you are emotional, you could try telling yourself: "Take three minutes to calm down, think about the root cause of the matter, and what it has to do with you."

It might be helpful to first address your emotions, and then address the situation at hand.

It would be beneficial to learn to improve yourself. You mentioned that there are two scenarios that affect you: one is something that happened between you and your mother when you were a child, and the other is something that happened when you were in the fourth grade. This projection allows you to have self-awareness.

If you were given another chance to go back to that scene in time, what would you say to them? You have the power now, so perhaps you could speak up.

I believe in you! I know you can do it!

Hello!

You mentioned that someone confided in you about their anger, and then you became furious yourself. At the same time, you recalled what happened when you were a child with your mother and a fourth-grade boy. This shows that you are aware of your own anger, and you're doing great!

When you were younger, your mother would scold you and you learned to suppress your anger and not express it.

"Over time, I never told anyone about anything that happened to me or any emotions I had." It's not easy. It seems that everyone had a hard time growing up.

When we were young, our parents were a big part of our lives, and we couldn't survive without them. So our parents had a big influence on us, and that's how we learned to deal with emotions.

If you don't express your anger, you'll just reinforce the pattern of repressing it.

So, you're well acquainted with this feeling of anger and the sensation of it being suppressed inside your body and unable to be released. When someone shares their anger with you, you're more likely to empathize and be particularly sensitive.

Anger is basically a kind of blocked energy that needs to be released externally to repair the blocked connection. There are four main characteristics of anger: it's high-energy, it seeks release, it points to the outside world, and it's very mobile.

Suppressing anger is like keeping it bottled up. If you keep it in, it'll build up until it reaches a tipping point and suddenly bursts out, causing serious problems.

The pressure in this gas tank is too high and the consequences are pretty serious. What we need to do is let the pressure release gradually so that this blocked energy can flow and then its destructive power will be greatly reduced.

The tricky part for you is probably expressing anger. Initially, this anger is directed at your mother, and you're reluctant to express anger towards her. But you can remind yourself that today, time has changed, you are no longer the child you were, and you express your anger, appropriately letting the pressure in the gas tank decrease, which is good for both parties.

Once you understand this, whenever something makes you angry, take three deep breaths, tell yourself, "I've grown up, I can handle this," and "it's not scary to express anger the right way, and it can even help the relationship."

I hope this helps.