I feel like I'm pretty bad myself, sad and depressed. What's going on?

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

After reading the original poster's description, I can empathize with their feelings and understand their desire to "escape from this world and be alone." It can be exhausting to endure a life like this, especially when it persists from elementary school to university. However, the original poster has shown resilience and I believe they possess a belief or strength that has supported them along the way.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to know what this resource is.

You may feel that you have no faith and can't think of anything. That's okay. Would you be willing to tell me your story? If you are open to sharing, I believe that this current platform could be a valuable space for doing so. We can also record our experiences in the past with pen and paper, or even write an autobiographical novel.

While suffering is suffering, it is sometimes the case that suffering can also be a resource. Someone once said that trash is just a resource that has been used in the wrong place.

You said that you personally feel like you're not very good at this, but can you be 100% sure? I don't think that's the case in reality. At least from your description, I can feel your emotions. You are at least a junior college graduate, with average character and grades that are above average. You are far better than countless people with a blemished track record.

Could I ask you to clarify whether you believe yourself to be inferior to others? Have you perhaps made an objective comparison and measurement?

When we are in a negative emotional state, it can be challenging to shift our attention away from perceived deficiencies and inadequacies. This can contribute to feelings of sadness and depression.

It might be helpful to consider that imagining loss and bleeding yourself can activate our brain to stimulate our body strongly. In this situation, it's possible that you may be experiencing some challenges related to depression.

It would be beneficial for us to try to do 30 minutes of aerobic exercise every day. It would be helpful for us to work up to a standard where we sweat. We can start by doing this three to four times a week, and then gradually work up to every day. This may help our brain to secrete dopamine to relieve our depressed mood. In addition, we can also adjust the part of our brain that controls emotional experience through mindfulness breathing training.

Additionally, it would be beneficial for the original poster to consider visiting a mental health center for an evaluation to gain a better understanding of the situation. If it is convenient, it might be helpful to schedule an appointment with a college mental health teacher.

I kindly ask you to believe that with the help of professionals, you can get better help, and that this help will not be compromised by your identity, your experiences, or your past.

If you are able to do so, it might be helpful to try to give yourself an objective and fair evaluation. This could involve identifying your own strengths, finding resources that can be utilized, feeling your own value, and gradually building a sense of control and achieving a sense of accomplishment.

I truly hope that the original poster will find something inspiring in the article and take action.

Hello!

A pat on the shoulder: everyone will have periods of low mood. If such periods are prolonged, it may be a depressive mood. Regardless of whether it is a period of low mood or a depressive mood, it is not conducive to our being able to objectively examine ourselves, and thus generate more negative thoughts.

1. Learn to view things objectively and evaluate yourself.

You want to escape from the world and be alone.

When I'm too tired, I feel chest tightness and difficulty breathing. I've been self-harming since primary school and I'm still doing it now in university. I don't know if I'm depressed. Anyway, I think I'm pretty lousy. I'm no match for others in anything. I'm just average looking, and I even sometimes feel like I'm greasy and disgusting. My character is average, my grades are average, I'm not from a prestigious school, and I'm not even a citizen of the country I'm living in. Maybe I'm just not the type of person who deserves to have friends. Sometimes I feel really sad, but I can't cry. I'm always depressed, but I choose to be optimistic and positive. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, but I will.

Negative experiences usually trigger negative thoughts. If you don't receive positive encouragement and support for a long time, you'll feel depressed and frustrated. It's then difficult to form a positive self-evaluation and improve your self-confidence. Instead, feelings of inferiority magnify your shortcomings, which causes inner self-doubt.

Our upbringing plays a significant role in shaping our emotions. Take, for instance, a child who is raised by a very strict parent who sets high standards and expectations. It's challenging for such a child to develop a positive self-image. Even when they excel in certain areas, they may still carry an underlying sense of inadequacy due to perceived shortcomings.

If the questioner's growth experience lacked care and support, they can start now to view themselves positively, discover their strengths, and affirm and accept themselves. Feeling will become comfortable. When encountering things that make you feel depressed and oppressed, express yourself and vent your dissatisfaction. This will balance your emotions and relieve mental stress.

You need to communicate more with others and learn to express yourself.

I fantasize about how I will die almost every day. I even feel happy when I hurt myself or see myself bleeding. I feel a sense of accomplishment.

Severe feelings of inferiority, combined with emotions such as depression, can and will lead to self-abuse and self-harm. This is because when negative emotions and mental pain cannot be vented, the focus then shifts to the body. When the feeling of inner pleasure is experienced through self-harm, it is because the pressure of mental pain is relieved by transferring it to physical pain. However, this subsequently causes feelings of self-blame and a worsening of inferiority, and they are even more reluctant to seek help from outside sources and talk to others about their painful and repressed feelings.

However, this is not a "good solution" that treats the symptoms but not the root cause. To deal with feelings of depression and other emotions, you must find the root cause of the emotions. For example, if the cause of feelings of inferiority is the family atmosphere, parents must re-examine themselves, learn to accept and encourage their children, and help them rebuild their self-confidence. At the same time, parents must learn to establish a way of communication with others to relieve emotional confusion, learn to broaden their horizons, look at things objectively, not be overly demanding and suppress themselves, learn to encourage and accept themselves, and their self-confidence will be enhanced.

You've got this! Keep up the good work!

Hello question owner.

Seeing yourself share, you feel helpless and confused. But you also feel willing to understand, break through, and change. Today's state of mind may be related to your environment, experience, and personality. But tomorrow you can still grow.

Manage your emotions. When you feel bad, exercise instead of self-harming. Research shows that exercise has a positive effect on mood and stress levels. When you run or climb, you will feel accomplished. Sing or write your emotions down.

Accept yourself. If you feel bad about yourself, do something to change it. As long as you take action, you will get something in return. The feedback will help you to change.

Every day, imagine ways to have a better day, interact well with others, and love yourself.

I hope this helps. I love you.

If you feel bad, there are ways to change: be happy, read, practice, and build self-confidence.

1. Be happy.

To change your pessimistic outlook, make yourself happy. Watch more comedies or funny videos.

Read books.

Read books that improve your mood and self-confidence.

3. Practice in real life.

Test the methods in your life. Every day, review and summarize your problems. Make improvements the next day.

4. Build self-confidence.

After a while, you'll have more self-confidence. You'll realize you're not as bad as you thought and have many strengths.

Ways to be more confident:

1. Don't be afraid of failure. It's a valuable experience. The more failures you have, the better you'll be at choosing challenges.

2. Don't set too high a goal for yourself. If you want to become more confident, don't set a goal that's too high. It's best to divide the goal into smaller ones. If the goal is too high, you will be disappointed and this will damage your confidence.

3. Self-suggestion. If you want to become more confident, after doing something in this situation and if it is not too bad, tell yourself you are awesome. With such positive self-talk, you can slowly increase your self-confidence.

Good day, my name is June.

In your description, you indicated that you have been engaging in depression/what-should-i-do-if-a-22-year-old-girl-tries-to-attract-her-mothers-attention-by-self-harming-24862.html" target="_blank">self-harm since elementary school and frequently experience chest tightness and difficulty breathing. You are uncertain as to whether you are experiencing depression.

I. Self-examination for depression

In accordance with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, an individual is deemed to be suffering from depression if they have exhibited at least five of the following symptoms for a minimum of two weeks, with at least one of these symptoms being either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure.

(1) Depressed mood

(2) Loss of interest or pleasure

(3) Significant weight loss or weight gain

(4) Insomnia or hypersomnia

(5) Psychomotor agitation or retardation

(6) Fatigue or lack of energy

(7) Inappropriate, excessive, and excessive guilt

(8) Impaired cognitive function

(9) Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts

The individual in question should conduct an examination of themselves based on the aforementioned content. Should the symptoms align with the criteria, it is advised that they seek medical assistance.

2. Revise your self-perception.

"I am not an exceptional individual. I lack proficiency in various areas, I am average in appearance, and I occasionally feel unworthy. My character is average, my grades are average, I am not a first-year student at a top university, and I may not be deserving of friendship."

From this description, it is evident that the questioner holds a markedly low opinion of his own value.

What was the rationale behind the questioner's conclusions? What are your thoughts on the implications of these comments?

Despite having obtained a Bachelor's degree, you still perceive your academic performance to be average. Could this be influenced by your parents' feedback?

Did your parents, eager to see you succeed, refrain from offering praise and instead provide constructive criticism, which subsequently led to a loss of confidence?

It would be beneficial for the questioner to ascertain the source of these "internalized" voices and adjust their self-perception through mindfulness training. It may be advantageous for the questioner to seek psychological counseling for a more comprehensive analysis and discussion.

I am confident that everything will be fine. I hope you will soon regain your confidence.

My dear, after reading your description, I can sense the challenges you're facing. As an older sister, I empathize with you. Please know that I'm here for you, offering a virtual hug from afar.

Although I feel sad, I can still try to maintain an optimistic and positive outlook. It's admirable that you've recognized the conflict within yourself and are seeking ways to improve.

I admire your ability to get into a school despite long-term depression. Would you be willing to share how you did it?

It might be helpful to consider whether self-harming since elementary school could be a sign of depression or anxiety. I wonder if your parents, teachers, or friends have noticed this about you.

Have you considered seeking the guidance of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist?

If you feel bad, could it be because you have been evaluated in this way by others for a long time, which might make you think of yourself as a bad person?

My dear child, I want you to know that you still have friends who care about you. Everyone is worthy of having friends. If you would like, I can also be your friend and stay with you.

When you're feeling sad, perhaps you could find a quiet space where you can sit down, hug yourself and let out a cry. After you've cried, you may find that your emotions are released and you feel a little lighter. You might like to try this approach and see how you feel.

I would be grateful if you could share your thoughts and feedback after trying it. This is my first time answering a question on this platform, and I really hope I can be of some help to you.

I want you to know that even if you don't love yourself, I and the world at large love you.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell you're going through a lot. You're standing up for yourself and sharing your struggles. This is a chance to recognize your strength and push for change. Do you agree?

You don't know what's going on, and it makes you feel uncomfortable. You feel lost, angry, overwhelmed, and disappointed. Is that right?

You have been self-harming since elementary school and continued until college. You feel that you are not easy, but also that you have a lot of strength inside. I want to know what kind of strength supported you and allowed you to go to college.

You say you don't deserve friends and that you're unhappy. You're wrong. You have strength inside you. You're sad, but you haven't given up. You've been searching for a way that suits you. You will find it.

I don't know your specific situation, but I'm going to give you some advice that I know will help you adjust your mindset and lead a relaxed and carefree life.

First, seek help from a professional counselor.

Life is hard, and I can see that you have been trying hard. I can see the conflict within you. Sometimes we are trapped by our emotions and unable to make changes on our own. If you really want to change, you need to seek professional psychological counseling. Let them help us find the root cause of the problem through their professional skills, and give us a safe, peaceful, and inclusive environment, so that we can perceive, clarify, and gain the strength to grow in this environment.

You need to learn to release negative emotions.

Nobody's perfect. We all have our own issues. When you feel uncomfortable, you have to face it. Only then can you help your body and mind.

Talk to someone about it. Or, let off steam through exercise. During exercise, the brain secretes dopamine, which produces a sense of pleasure. Exercise is the best way to relieve anxiety and depression.

Then, accept yourself.

From your description, it's clear you're troubled by emotions and don't like the past. This is a major reason for anxiety and depression. If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't have the strength to do it.

I want to ask you this: give yourself to his situation. That's all you can do. Relax, have the strength, and feel comfortable.

Accepting yourself doesn't mean giving in to your emotions or giving up on yourself. It means accepting that you have these emotions and allowing them to exist.

Finally, a large part of life involves bad experiences and moments of impulsiveness. But you can deal with it calmly or find a hobby to give yourself a sense of value and accomplishment when you are calm.

You need to do more self-awareness and clarification. Why do you feel this way? What is the connection to your family of origin? What do you want?

I need to know how to do it.

Change is often difficult, but it is always possible. If we persevere and take things one step at a time, we will find a way through.

Hello, landlord! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I want to give you a hug! I hope you can feel some warmth and support. I truly believe that if a person can feel enough warmth and love in the world, can see the meaning and value of their own existence, and can enjoy their own lives, they will not want to escape from the world and be alone. So, I know that you are really very uncomfortable, but you have to force yourself to be optimistic! It's not easy, I know, but you can do it! I am really worried about your current state, but I know you can get through this. Giving yourself too much attack and depression will make you fall into a bad cycle, so you have to fight it!

Your existence is valuable! It's time to understand and accept yourself, then recognize and affirm yourself. Life is about achieving and finding pleasure in reasonable ways. You can regain your strength, embrace the world, and live the good life you deserve!

I have some great advice for you!

Embrace your existence! It's valuable and worthy of love.

You say you feel like you're not the best, that you're no match for others, that you have an ordinary appearance, and that you sometimes even feel greasy and disgusting. You think you probably don't deserve to have friends. When you think about all this, how can you not feel sad? And when we feel sad, we can't cry. Our repressed emotions are actually always in our subconscious. At the same time, you have to force yourself to be optimistic, which is really not easy. But you can do it!

It's time to stop attacking and denying yourself! You should never use these standards to judge yourself. And you should know that these standards for judging you are the ones we heard from our family when we were young. When we are compared and only see our shortcomings, it's no wonder we feel "good." But are their evaluations of us objective?

If all they can say about us is bad things, it just means they don't know the real us! We all have both good and bad sides, but we're also hardworking, kind, good at dancing, good at drawing... We will always have our own shining points, even if they don't seem like good points to others. So, we don't have to agree with what they say about us, but we should try to understand why we think this way about ourselves. At the same time, we should also see that we can change these opinions, and we can even give ourselves more positive comments. This way, we will become better and better!

So, my child, understand and accept yourself! You are imperfect, but you are also perfect in every other way. Those who can live actively and truly optimistically are people who can especially accept and understand themselves, people who know how to love themselves. Just like Dong Yuhui, he doesn't look good, and when he was studying, he wasn't a particularly good student. But he didn't focus on his disadvantages; he focused on his strengths! After accepting and understanding himself, through constant hard work and accumulation, he has finally become the person everyone likes now.

But first and foremost, he had to love himself before he could radiate a carefree attitude and positive state of mind, right?

We are the same! First, we need to understand and accept ourselves. We can't change our appearance or height, but we can learn to love them! We shouldn't dwell on these things because dwelling on them won't change them. Instead, we need to learn to accept and even appreciate these aspects of ourselves. Then, we need to see what aspects of ourselves can be changed or improved. We can then bring our strengths into play to realize our value!

2. Find your own bright spots, give full play to your strengths, create your own value, gain a sense of achievement and pleasure, and enhance your inner strength!

Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses, and that's totally normal! When you're struggling to identify your strengths, I have two awesome tips for you. First, talk to your family and friends and ask them to name three of your strengths. They know you better than you know yourself, and they're always happy to share their insights with you. Second, write down one of your strengths in a notebook every day, and don't stop until you've filled the page! You'll be amazed at how many strengths you discover. These are the things you're already great at, but you might not have realized it. Celebrate them and use them to your advantage!

When you use the above two methods, you will discover your three most outstanding strengths. At this time, you can combine these strengths to do the things you are good at and create your own value. In the process, you will gain a lot of happiness and a sense of accomplishment. Gradually, you will naturally feel that you are a valuable person, that your existence is meaningful, and that life is worth experiencing—and you will love every minute of it!

For example, I used to focus on the things I wasn't good at, such as cooking, stir-frying, and doing housework. I found that I was really terrible at them and had a very low sense of self-worth. But then I discovered my strengths! I'm particularly suited to psychological work. I could read and study with enthusiasm every day, and pass on useful psychological knowledge to friends in need through writing and courses, to help them solve some doubts and problems. I feel completely different now. Every day, I feel that I am still pretty good, that I am also valuable, and that I also feel responsible. Gradually, I have come to recognize and like myself more and more.

I truly believe that you are the same. You have so many amazing strengths and values! It's time to find them and use them in a reasonable way in your life. Create value, set your own small goals, and gradually become confident, gradually feel satisfied, and like yourself through your own efforts. You can do it!

This process may not always go smoothly, and it may be accompanied by a lot of self-doubt and self-doubt. But you must always tell yourself: I support myself, I am valuable, my existence is meaningful, I am responsible, I am safe, I believe I can do it... and you can do it!

3. Emotions in the heart cannot be suppressed. They can only become unblocked through reasonable ways of releasing them. At that time, your positive optimism will naturally be expressed, rather than being forced to be expressed.

You said that you started self-harming in elementary school. At that time, did you actually have a lot of pent-up emotions? It's so important to find ways to release your emotions! You might have felt that self-harming was a way to help you do so.

The good news is that you can start to feel better right away! It's time to let go of all those pent-up emotions that have been weighing you down. When you let go, you'll feel the weight lift off your chest and your breathing will become easier. You'll even find yourself crying! It's time to embrace your feelings and let them flow through you. If you're not ready to cry, that's okay. There are other ways to express yourself. Write it out, say it out, or use other methods to release and relieve. You'll be amazed at how quickly you start to feel better. And as you gradually reduce self-injurious behavior, you'll find yourself feeling more positive and healthier.

If self-harm is used to escape pain, you can express your innermost feelings and thoughts in writing! Don't worry about the neatness of your handwriting or the logic of your content—just express yourself as much as you like! You can also find the right person to talk to, express your inner worries and stress, and at the same time feel the love and support of your friends!

If you're using self-harm as a form of self-punishment, it's time to start loving yourself! Give yourself positive and positive evaluations, practice self-affirmation, and read books like "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses," "Accept Your Imperfections," and "Rebuilding Your Life." You've got this!

● If self-harm is used to attract attention, you can find the person you want to connect with, have an honest exchange, and express the need for their care. It's a great way to get what you need! When we express our needs, our hearts are free to soar.

If you're looking to release anger through self-harm, you've got plenty of options! Try boxing, running, kicking, or any other strenuous exercise. You can also squeeze stress balls, pound pillows or sandbags, or tear up paper. And don't forget about the empty chair technique! Place an empty chair in a room and assume the person you want to talk to is sitting in it. Then, unleash your emotions on the chair. You can express any thoughts or feelings, including anger and abuse. Go on, let it all out!

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you the best!