I have no trace of a young boy at 18, blending chaos and loneliness, what am I really?

Dear friend, I understand your feelings. The loneliness, confusion, and self-doubt you are experiencing are all very difficult parts of the growth process. Everyone encounters various challenges and confusion during their growth process, and what you are experiencing is a common feeling shared by many people on their growth path.

You are courageous and capable of self-reflection, which is essential for moving on from this challenging situation. Your feelings are valid, and your experiences have shaped you into who you are today, providing a rich foundation for your future growth.

Growth isn't always easy. It's full of unknowns and variables, and it requires us to constantly explore and surpass ourselves.

We will undoubtedly encounter various psychological obstacles along the way, such as fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. These obstacles may stem from early life experiences or current life pressures.

We must learn to face these obstacles head-on and bravely, rather than running away.

The state you mentioned is a kind of psychological defense mechanism. It's your brain's way of protecting you from deeper pain. It refers to a deep-seated confusion and anxiety experienced by individuals when exploring themselves, the meaning of life, and purpose.

This state is not uncommon and many people experience it at some point in their lives. This mechanism sometimes makes it difficult for us to express our emotions, but we can overcome it.

Your current situation is the result of a number of factors, including your early experiences, personality traits, environmental factors, and how you respond to challenges in life. Early psychological obstacles have affected your self-perception and social skills, while competition and internal conflict have exacerbated your anxiety and self-doubt.

Let me be clear: a counselor is not a god. We are just professional listeners and guides. We help you sort out your inner confusion, find the obstacles that prevent you from moving forward, and work together to find ways to overcome them.

When facing inner confusion, you must accept your imperfections and understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Accepting yourself is the first step to self-growth. It allows you to view yourself more tolerantly, reducing inner conflict and anxiety.

Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself. Achieve these goals to boost your self-confidence and feel the joy of growth.

Participating in social activities is the best way to improve our social skills and enhance communication and exchanges with others. We can build a wider social network and improve our social adaptability by doing so.

Everyone's life is unique. It's crucial to find your own meaning in life. Try different activities and interests to discover your passions and find your motivation and direction.

Interest is the best teacher. It stimulates our creativity and enthusiasm.

Be brave and explore, experience and grow. Setbacks and failures are inevitable, but they are what shape our character and resilience.

Everyone's path to adulthood is unique. Your 18 years were not without the appearance of a teenager, but they were your unique teenage years. Your feelings and experiences are valuable assets to your growth.

The meaning of life lies not only in the destination, but also in the journey itself. Every step is a footprint of growth, and every attempt is a transcendence of the self.

Your life journey is unique, and your value and meaning are far beyond what you can imagine. Be brave, explore, experience, and grow. You will discover that the meaning of life is in every step of your journey.

First and foremost, it is evident that you are currently experiencing a state of distress and confusion. Your description suggests that you may be grappling with a profound psychological predicament, encompassing social barriers, emotional repression, a decline in cognitive abilities, a reduction in self-esteem, and a lack of clarity regarding the purpose and meaning of life.

Status analysis:

From a psychological perspective, the current state of mind may be the result of a combination of long-term psychological stress, depressive moods, anxiety, and a crisis of self-identity. The "chaotic loneliness," "blocked emotional expression," and "starting things but not finishing them" mentioned by the subject are all common manifestations of mental health problems.

Factor analysis:

1. Psychological Disorders Affecting: Psychological disorders that began at the age of nine may have had a profound impact on personality development, social skills, and emotional regulation.

2. Social Isolation: The absence of intimate relationships may result in challenges pertaining to emotional support, social adaptation, and self-esteem and confidence.

3. Prolonged Suppression and Avoidance: When confronted with adversity, individuals may resort to the avoidance of such circumstances rather than actively confronting them. This avoidance, over time, may lead to the formation of a negative lifestyle pattern.

4. Self-perception bias: An unhealthy self-evaluation system has been created by an excessive focus on one's weaknesses, coupled with an underestimation or disregard for one's strengths.

The following solution is proposed:

1. Professional Psychological Counseling: It is recommended that you seek professional psychological counseling to assist you in exploring your inner world, identifying and modifying negative thinking patterns, and learning effective emotional management skills through talk therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy.

2. It is recommended that the individual establish a social network. This may be achieved by joining interest groups or community activities, seeking out individuals with whom one shares common interests, and gradually improving one's interpersonal skills. This approach can also serve to reduce feelings of loneliness.

3. Identify your personal strengths and virtues, even those that may be perceived as insignificant. Over time, enhance your self-esteem and alter your negative self-perception.

4. Seek support systems. It is beneficial to communicate with family members, friends, or trusted individuals about one's distress. Inquire about their understanding and willingness to provide support in addressing the problem collectively.

5. Lifestyle Adjustment: The maintenance of a regular routine, engagement in moderate exercise, and the attainment of sufficient sleep can facilitate an improvement in psychological state and an enhancement of quality of life.

6. In the event that the situation is sufficiently severe to impact daily life, it may be advisable to consider the use of antidepressant or anti-anxiety medications under the guidance of a qualified medical professional.

It is important to recognize that each individual's life trajectory is distinct, and that all will inevitably confront difficulties and adversity. Seeking assistance is not an indication of vulnerability; rather, it is an act of courage that paves the way for confronting challenges with resilience. It is my hope that you will find the fortitude to seek support and emerge from your current situation.