I hope my mother will regularly seek psychological counseling. Is there any good way to do this?

Hello, question asker.

Your writing demonstrates rationality and wisdom. I concur that it is optimal to engage a professional for a professional service, ensuring minimal impact on your daily life and optimal care for your mother.

I'd like to share three of my thoughts with you now.

Let's start with your worries. I can help you achieve good results in psychological counseling. You need to be willing to take the initiative and build a trusting relationship.

However, in actual practice, I often encounter visitors who lack both. For example, I often receive visitors who have been referred by other institutions (such as social work offices, streets, government agencies, family members, friends, etc.). They are not willing to come for consultation on their own, and they are resistant after they come, let alone trust.

In fact, I can assure you that initiative and trust can be slowly built up in counseling.

Every professional counselor has their own way of establishing a relationship with their clients. This stage can be long or short, but one thing is clear: establishing a good working alliance is the key to effective counseling. You must have more trust and optimism in counseling. Professional counselors all have their own methods.

As psychological counseling progresses, the relationship between the client and the counselor will undoubtedly change. Professional counselors are adept at reading the client's state of mind and are equipped to handle any situation, including a crisis of trust or the risk of falling away (meaning the client suspending counseling).

The mother may be reluctant to seek advice because she has concerns, but she should.

The mother may be reluctant to seek advice because she has concerns.

I often see visitors think this way: counseling is useless and won't help me; I can't solve it myself, so what can an outsider do? I don't want to talk about such things with other people, it's not honorable. I don't want to spend so much money. I can't burden my children, it's not worth spending money on this. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to say anything.

You need to understand your mother's concerns, talk to her frankly, and address her concerns in a targeted manner.

Finally, I want to say a few words to you from the heart.

Your mother has had a hard life. You are her only child and have settled overseas, so she misses you. Talk to her more. She'll tell you when she needs you.

This may all be subconscious.

You must take responsibility for your own life. Do what you can.

I don't know if the above sharing will help you, but if you need it or want to have a deeper exchange, let me know. I am Wang Xuejing, a psychological counselor. I am confident that you will benefit from my services.

I extend to you a warm embrace from a distance.

From your description, it is evident that you have a profound sense of care and love for your mother. It is my hope that you will endeavor to provide her with the utmost assistance and support.

It is evident from your account that your parents' divorce has resulted in considerable physical and psychological distress. Your preoccupation with your mother's emotional state during this period represents an external manifestation of the internal emotions you have experienced as a result of your parents' divorce.

It is evident that this necessitates an effort to be mindful of it. Consequently, if one does not accept that their mother can utilize her resources and capabilities to overcome the emotional distress caused by her divorce from their father, it implies that one has not fully acknowledged the reality of their parents' separation. In addition, it is crucial to recognize the necessity for care and support in such circumstances.

Awareness of one's emotions resulting from parental divorce may facilitate redirecting energy toward self-care. Additionally, it enables a more precise understanding and assessment of one's mother's current emotional state, preventing the projection of one's own emotions onto her and recognizing her capacity to manage her emotional condition.

It is understandable that your excessive worry about your mother stems from the belief that she may have an extreme need for your company, comfort, and emotional support following the divorce of your parents. However, the fact that you are in a foreign country and unable to provide this support in a timely manner has led to feelings of guilt and self-blame. When you fail to acknowledge this sense of guilt towards your mother, it can manifest as excessive worry and a desire to provide her with more support and assistance to alleviate the guilt-related emotions and feelings you are experiencing.

It is imperative to believe that everyone has the capacity to heal themselves when confronted with adversity and setbacks in life. This belief should extend to your mother as well. The most you can do is express your genuine feelings to her in the moment, thereby demonstrating that you are always available to provide emotional support and understanding, even if it is not in person. Parents often fear that their marital difficulties will negatively impact their children. At this juncture, your ability to live your life more effectively is the greatest source of support and comfort for your mother. It is crucial to trust your mother and yourself. Whether the issue is parental divorce or concerns about your mother's physical and mental health, it is, in fact, an expression of love. It is my sincere hope that you and your mother will continue to improve.

It is recommended that you prioritize self-love and extend it to others.