I stay up late a lot, and I suspect that I have a tendency to avoid problems. What should I do?

Dear question asker, I extend my gratitude to you for contacting me.

It is important to note that the process of changing habits can be time-consuming. Additionally, extended periods of wakefulness may contribute to feelings of loneliness and a sense of being adrift. These experiences are indicative of the body and mind's recognition that staying up late is not a sustainable solution.

When an individual is experiencing physical discomfort, their body is communicating that a change is necessary. It is essential to heed this message and prioritize self-care, including nurturing the body and mind through rest and nourishment.

One might inquire as to the current state of one's mental processes and the impact of external events on one's psychological well-being.

If circumstances evolve over time, is this due to actions taken by the individual in question, or is it a consequence of the inherent nature of the situation requiring a period of gestation?

It is important to allow sufficient time for adjustment and to be patient with oneself. There is a high probability of positive personal growth.

It is recommended that one put their phone away at night and allow themselves the opportunity to take a deep breath. One may wish to consider listening to some gentle music, reading a good book, or simply sitting quietly and feeling their breath.

Such simple acts can also assist the mind in attaining a state of tranquility.

Should one experience feelings of loneliness or encounter more profound issues that require resolution, it is advisable to seek assistance. In some instances, engaging in discourse with friends or family, or seeking the guidance of a professional, can impart unexpected fortitude and solace.

It is important to remember that one is not alone in facing challenges and difficulties. Everyone has their own unique set of challenges and problems, and everyone also possesses the capacity for change and growth. It is essential to provide oneself with sufficient time and space, and to treat oneself with kindness and understanding.

It is my sincere hope that this will be of some assistance. I extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. Hugs!

Why stay up late?

We often have deeper needs that need to be met.

You might have to work during the day and take care of your children after work. You can only do things you want to do when your children are resting. You might want to make up for lost time.

If you feel unwell after staying up late, remember to follow the normal human biological clock: "work at sunrise and rest at sunset."

Scrolling through your phone is not a good way to relax. The more you do it, the more excited you will become.

There are other ways to relax your body, like exercising, doing yoga, or meditating.

If you want to stop staying up late, you may need to schedule morning tasks.

For example, send your kids to school, make breakfast, go to the market.

You have to get up early, so you can go to bed early the night before. This can help you slowly break the habit of staying up late.

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

Now I only think of the above.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

!

Staying up late has a number of negative effects on the body. Prolonged periods of staying up late may lead to a decline in immunity, emotional instability, memory loss, and other problems. You mentioned that staying up late to check your phone seems to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings, which may be because you are avoiding certain problems or stress in this way. We have a number of suggestions that may be helpful:

Identify the root cause of the problem. In order to gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and behaviors, it is recommended that you keep a diary, communicate with friends or family, or even seek professional psychological counseling.

It is recommended that you establish a regular routine. Gradually adjust your schedule to include consistent bedtimes and wake-up times. Set an alarm to remind you that it is time to rest. Over time, reduce the amount of time you spend awake at night.

It is recommended that you reduce your mobile phone usage. Avoid using electronic devices for at least an hour before going to bed. You may wish to try reading a paper book, listening to some light music or doing some relaxing activities to help you fall asleep.

It is important to establish healthy habits, including regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate fluid intake, as these can all help to improve your physical condition and mood.

If you require assistance in making changes to your routine, we recommend seeking guidance from friends, family, or professionals. They can provide emotional support and practical advice to help you gradually change your habit of staying up late.

It is important to set realistic goals and to allow time for gradual adjustment. Rather than attempting to change all habits overnight, it is more beneficial to set small goals, such as going to bed 15 minutes earlier each night.

Changing habits requires time and patience. It is important to persevere and avoid self-criticism. If desired, I can provide a relaxing image to help you unwind before bed.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

Staying up late to check your phone is a clear sign that you are controlled by it. Your heart may even say, "Look at the phone, what have you made me do!" If you had a traumatic childhood and were abused, then there is no doubt that this behavior is driven by a psychological motive: to recreate the frustrating situation and then try again to adapt and gain control.

This motivation is subconsciously put into action, resulting in tragic behavior on the conscious level.

You know what you're avoiding and you can reflect on yourself. The videos on the phone have different expressions and commercial motives, and your attachment patterns generate more conflicts in passive needs. Childhood experiences of not being taken care of, not being valued, not being supported and encouraged are the opposite expressions of their dissatisfaction. Internal needs have always been denied in growth. You can't recognize your own needs in the present feelings. You can't see the motives behind your own behavior patterns. The passive attachment mode is linked to guilt about being independent and autonomous. The guilt comes from low self-worth, fear of being retaliated against after success, and lack of support in growth. You use avoidance and escape to deal with your needs. Shame in fear is actually a lack of support and encouragement in growth. You rely on this passive attachment mode to deal with imagined pain. Independence and autonomy cannot produce functions, cannot be relieved, and cannot be separated. Accepting both the perfect and imperfect parts of your existence is normal. You believe you can accept them, identify what you need, and choose the right life for you.

It's okay, everyone is imperfect. Accept it and explore what you need. You will discover that problems are just problems, not necessarily the only source of suffering. They also have a positive meaning: to grow and gain new insights. The past experiences and insights are the best gifts of your life.

Hello, question asker! My name is Yu, and I'd love to chat with you about this topic.

Let's start by chatting about staying up late.

We all know that staying up late has a hundred harms and no benefits, but we still stay up late. There are probably two reasons for our late nights:

1. We're often so busy with work and socializing during the day that we feel like we have to do everything on our to-do list, rather than doing things we enjoy. But at night, we have free time and can enjoy some precious alone time, so we don't want to go to sleep.

2. Our brain has a reward system that induces and reinforces specific survival behaviors such as exercise, food, music, and socializing by producing pleasant emotions. These behaviors cause the body to secrete dopamine and maintain a relatively stable normal value. However, when we experience a lot of stress during the day and don't do these things that are in line with our values, we will make up for it at night through some bad habits, such as browsing social media and watching short videos to find content that will generate positive feedback in us. We work tirelessly to get a little dopamine from the internet, even ignoring the big world around us.

As the questioner wrote, staying up late to check your phone seems to help you feel better.

Let's ask ourselves some questions! What are the specific symptoms of the physical discomfort I've been feeling lately? What emotions and feelings does it bring up in me?

We can also ask ourselves, "Does staying up late help us alleviate discomfort? What emotions and feelings does it bring to me?"

First, let's take a moment to re-evaluate the value of sleep, with physical health as the prerequisite. In fact, the questioner has already sensed that we need to break away from instant gratification and maintain long-term self-discipline.

Second, it's super important to create a cozy, relaxing environment for catching some Zs. Before bed, it's best to turn off our electronic devices like phones and tablets and unwind with some relaxing mindfulness and meditation.

Let's talk about avoidance. Many of us are great at talking but not so good at taking action. It's true that we have lots of ideas and ambitions, but we rarely put them into action. We often fall into self-blame, and sometimes we even give up.

We may be avoiding something because we are afraid of failure. It's okay to be afraid! We often worry that if we don't do something well enough, our shortcomings and flaws will be exposed. This can lead to criticism and accusations, or even damage to our self-esteem.

Because if we don't do it, we don't have to face the frustration of "not being able to achieve it" or look at ourselves as "not good enough." It's okay to choose to escape, even if it's just for a little while.

Sometimes, it can be a way of expressing resistance and aggression. Maybe our childhood was marked by strict discipline or excessive control from our parents, and we're prone to resistance as adults.

Because when we were kids, we couldn't do anything without our parents knowing about it, we lost our own space and freedom. We were so young, and we didn't know any better. Now, deep down, we are angry, and our vitality and emotions cannot be released. So perhaps this is a disguised release of energy, a disguised form of rebellion and aggression.

It's okay to admit that sometimes we just need a break. Our bodies and minds are tired and fed up sometimes, and that's okay. We might not want to admit it, but our actions tell a different story.

We all get caught in a cycle sometimes. It's so easy to want to try something new but then not take that first step. And it can leave us feeling physically and mentally tired and irritable.

If you find yourself feeling emotional before bed, it can be really hard to fall asleep. Psychologists call this "rumination." Try saying to yourself, "These are just my thoughts, I'm fine now," and then gently draw your attention back to your breathing, open your senses, and fill the gaps in your attention.

It's okay to let go of the expectation of perfection. Our childhood experiences don't define our entire lives. Life is a long-distance race, and we should accept our shortcomings and imperfections.

We can always look for ways to find more resources. We may be used to looking at life with a problematic perspective, but it is actually much more difficult to find resources than problems. When something happens, just ask yourself, "Who else can I turn to for help?"

What other options do I have? What other things can I use?

We can also seek help because this thing has been bothering you and has caused you internal anxiety, so it is not easy to overcome it immediately. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor because emotions must have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And finally, we just need to give ourselves a break! We need to accept ourselves, give ourselves a reasonable position based on acceptance, do the things of the moment, maintain the unity of mind and body, and love ourselves in a better way.

I'd highly recommend reading "Mindfulness, the present is a flower" if you get a chance!

Good morning,

If I may offer you a gentle encouragement, I would suggest that you consider the possibility that you may need a little encouragement yourself.

I often find myself staying up late, and I wonder if I might have a tendency to avoid problems. What would you suggest I do?

It is clear that staying up late is not good for my health. However, I find that scrolling on my phone late at night provides some relief from my discomfort. Could staying up late be a way of relieving stress from the day?

On the one hand, I recognize that staying up late is not a healthy habit. I feel a sense of guilt and self-blame when I do this, but after the initial feeling of punishment, I find myself continuing this behavior the next day. This leads me to question whether staying up late is truly something I want to do, or if it's something I feel obligated to do.

You might find it helpful to write a list of reasons for staying up late and another list of reasons for going to bed earlier. You can write the reasons in any order you like, and you can record them in whatever way feels most comfortable for you. It might be helpful to write down the thoughts that support each reason, and then to come up with some counterarguments to the reasons you've listed. You could record these lists for a week or so and then look back to see if there have been any changes.

If staying up late has become a regular habit, it's possible that most of the thoughts that support it are also fixed, some even unconscious. There are also objective and rational thoughts, but it's understandable that most of the time, your behavior instinctively gives in to irrational beliefs and thoughts, which can make it challenging to change.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider some alternative options. Should you simply sit back and do nothing?

Perhaps if we consider this from a different perspective, we might gain a deeper understanding. This is simply an objective demonstration of how the brain works, which allows us to recognize that the reason for the lack of change in behavior may not be a lack of desire for health, but rather the occasional dominance of other desires, which can contribute to maintaining the status quo.

In the evening, when people have the only space to rest and their desires are released to an unprecedented degree, it can be challenging to resist the temptation to indulge in "grabbing" and "consuming." Over time, this can lead to a loss of willpower and self-control. Even if they experience feelings of remorse the next day, returning to their old lifestyle can still be tempting.

If you wish to change, it may be helpful to understand yourself more deeply. The emotional records on the blank page represent a process of establishing a dialogue with yourself, allowing your emotions to exist and assert themselves. I don't deny them; I just listen and try to understand. Over time, the real you may provide answers, such as what your real needs are, what you want to do, and what efforts you are willing to make to achieve these aspirations.

At this time, your energy will be smooth and unobstructed, rather than forced and changing, suppressed, with a better ability to perceive and make decisions. This is a process of self-understanding, a good process of growth, and an important process of understanding emotions.

I hope these answers are helpful to you.

I wish you the best!