I was scolded by a psychological counselor, saying that I am jealous of others and have a twisted heart. What should I do?

Dear Sir/Madam, From your description, it appears that the counselor's response may not be optimal.

If you are experiencing feelings of jealousy, it is important to acknowledge and accept these emotions. Jealousy is a natural response and does not indicate any underlying issues with your mental state.

When the counselor makes a statement like this, it is evident that they are applying a subjective judgment to the emotion of jealousy. The use of the word "unrepentant" is also accusatory and offensive, which I can understand may have caused you to feel angry.

You indicated that you challenged the counselor's assessment. While I am unaware of the specifics of your response, you may wish to consider articulating your frustration. For instance, you could have said, "I'm not jealous. It seems there's been a misunderstanding. Isn't jealousy a normal emotion? You're evaluating me. I don't believe jealousy is a negative psychological state. I don't think you've ever been jealous of someone else. If I'm to be treated the same way, how would you feel?" Alternatively, you could have said, "If you continue to speak to me in this manner, I will no longer be able to trust you. I even question your professional qualifications because the unconditional trust I have in you has only brought me pain." You could also add your own thoughts.

The counselor's approach was inappropriate, but this process allows you to identify your own internal patterns and understand your initial response to being judged and blamed by others. You can also apply this to your interactions with family members.

In other words, the accusations and rejections of your parents are the repressed trauma within you, correct?

I am unaware of the duration of your counseling sessions, the counselor's previous state, and whether this is a first occurrence or a recurring phenomenon during the counseling process.

Has the counselor demonstrated objectivity and neutrality, empathy, understanding, acceptance, and permission?

The most important prerequisite for counseling is the establishment of a counseling relationship. If the visitor can be fully accepted by the counselor without any subjective judgment when revealing internal trauma, the visitor will not react with any traumatic anger or shame.

A positive counseling relationship will facilitate a virtuous cycle of interaction, allowing the client to fully disclose their most personal and sensitive information with the assurance of trust and comfort.

It is important to note that each counselor has a unique set of experiences, personalities, qualities, perceptions, and levels of healing from internal trauma. As a result, unexpected situations may arise. Should you develop resistance or dissatisfaction with your counselor or lose trust in them, it indicates a resistance to the counseling relationship, which may make it challenging to continue. For a counseling relationship to be effective, it is essential that both parties are able to express their emotions and the counselor is able to recognize and address their own issues through self-reflection.

Speaking up in counseling can be a way to overcome barriers to expressing yourself in other areas of your life. If you have not previously shared your emotions and feelings in other contexts, you may find it beneficial to try this approach.

I hope this information is useful to you.