If you don't exercise self-discipline, you will overspend every time. It's annoying. How do you spend money wisely?

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question. I hope my suggestions help.

For daily expenses, we need to understand that our current consumption is high. It is normal for our consumption to be within a certain range, whether it is 1,500 or 2,000.

Our hobbies are different.

We like milk tea and might have one every day, but our classmates might not like it as much and only have it once every two days. This makes our spending on this item higher than that of other students, but it is not extreme or excessive. It is just satisfying our own hobbies.

We must first sort out our spending habits. We can keep a record of our spending and sort it into categories. We can spend money on clothing, food, housing, and transportation. If it is within a controllable range, we can then make adjustments.

We can also be careful with our spending. We can ask others for help with this.

Ask your parents to send you money once a week to help you budget.

Ask a classmate to help you manage your money.

When I was studying, I was in charge of money. My roommates gave me their weekly living expenses when they arrived at school. They asked me for money when they needed it.

If it's reasonable, I'll give it to them.

If it's unreasonable, I'll remind them.

If we agree not to drink milk tea, and we can't resist, we should just say no. If he asks for money, I will refuse.

If we are anxious or irritable, we can ask the school's mental health teacher for help.

I hope you can find a way to adjust to your needs. We can accept our habits within a reasonable range of consumption.

Love you!

Hello.

I'm here to give you a pat on the shoulder.

If you don't exercise self-discipline, you'll overspend every time. It's as simple as that. So, how do you spend money reasonably?

It's frustrating to be undisciplined and spend money recklessly. You need to figure out how to be self-disciplined or change the problem of spending money recklessly.

The questioner's contradictory state of mind is evident. They want to be self-disciplined but cannot resist external temptations. They are disturbed because they are panicking and feeling uneasy about losing control.

The real solution to losing self-control is to identify the core problem.

Let's be real. We often fixate on the issue of "money," convinced that if we just control our spending, everything will be fine. But we all know that's not always the case. We suppress our desires for years, only to suddenly overeat and binge shop uncontrollably. Why does this happen? Clearly, just superficially convincing ourselves isn't the core of the problem. So, what is?

The questioner must examine their beliefs about spending money satisfying inner desires. They should identify any irrational situations.

For example, when the economy is not doing well, I have to buy the most expensive items every time to satisfy my vanity and prove my self-worth. This kind of thinking is obviously immature because objects cannot define self-worth. Endless comparisons will only strengthen one's unreasonable desires, rather than balancing excessive desires.

I have no control over my urge to shop, and I succumb to temptation easily. This question is similar to the last, but the core issue is that external temptations are overwhelming. Take today's unprecedented shopping mall discounts, for instance. They're too great a temptation to resist, and I just bought something, which means my self-control has decreased.

In such cases, we must exercise our self-control and regain our self-focus to resist unnecessary temptations.

For example, you can learn to meditate, maintain your focus, and exercise your self-awareness. You can also improve your ability to choose for yourself. When you encounter a powerful temptation again, your sense of self will take precedence over your desire. You will then be able to choose what is more beneficial for you.

We said that the wealthier people are, the less they actually need material things from the outside world. This is also because they have affirmed their self-worth and enhanced their self-control. Their behavior is an expression of their hearts.

The solution is simple: prioritize spending. Distinguish between essential and secondary expenses. Essential expenses are unavoidable. Secondary expenses are those that you can choose between. They are either necessary or not. As you gain life experience, you will become more aware of the meaning of your choices. You will know what you want and what you don't want. You will be able to make choices without being controlled by your desires. You will become the master of your own self. You will be able to express your feelings and views on money more freely.

For example, you may be wearing $10 clothes, but you are content within, not belittling yourself, and you know that material things don't determine personality. You feel free in the moment, and the disparity in social status, as well as the lack of self-confidence and sense of worth, will not interfere with your most important judgment at the moment.

The result is that you can live more intensely while still developing yourself. Your inner creativity will be enhanced.

Read Kelly McGonigal's "Self-Control" [US].

As you can see above,

Best wishes!

Hello! I'm Coach Yu, and I'd love to have a chat with you.

In today's consumer society, it's so easy to get carried away with all the wonderful things we can buy! It's no wonder that sensible spending is such an important topic.

The questioner mentioned that they lack self-discipline when spending money and always overspend. It seems to me that I saw my younger self, who also had addictive spending habits. Looking back at that time, there may have been several factors:

It's possible that we're lacking a sense of security. In Maslow's theory, "security" is defined as having a sense of confidence, safety, and freedom from fear and anxiety. It's especially about feeling satisfied with your needs in the present and the future.

When we think back on our childhood experiences, it's natural to wonder if we faced a lot of insecurity, like dislike, hatred, accusations, and neglect. These experiences and the relationships we had can stick with us as we grow up, making us feel worried and like our surroundings are full of insecurity and hostility.

Let's say, for instance, that we feel like there are some things about ourselves that we just don't like. It's only natural to worry that other people don't like us, too. We get nervous and worried about being seen by others. It's only human to feel that the relationships around us aren't safe. When we suppress these emotions and don't allow ourselves to feel and express them, we feel really uneasy. And when we spend money, we can experience a sense of control, which helps us to eliminate that inner anxiety or uneasiness.

It might be a way to express resistance and aggression. Our childhood may have been marked by strict parenting. We were unable to resist our parents' excessive control and could only obey, so we lost our own space and freedom. Deep down, there is anger, and our vitality and emotions cannot be released.

So, some behaviors after growing up might be a way of releasing this energy, or even a way of rebelling and lashing out.

It's so great that the questioner has this awareness in his life. Psychology talks about how "seeing is healing."

We can try to adjust our mindset by first letting go of labels like "spending money without self-discipline" and "extravagant." It's okay to accept that we're not perfect and that we're doing our best.

It can be really helpful to take a look at what we spent last month. We can make a list of all the purchases and then check them against the actual items. This can help us see if the things we bought are actually useful to us. And it's always a good idea to check in with ourselves about whether the food we've eaten recently is to our liking!

Then, why not try writing down next month's shopping plan? This will help us to feel like we can spend and that we can control our spending, which will boost our confidence and help us to feel more accomplished. At the same time, when we review our spending record again, we can give ourselves a reward, treat ourselves to a meal or buy a small gift, so that we can associate spending with happy feelings. This will help us to form a virtuous cycle and positive reinforcement.

We can also seek help because this thing has been bothering you and causing anxiety in your life, so it is not easy to overcome it immediately. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor because emotions must have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And of course, we must also try to enrich our inner selves and discover our unique value. When your core is strong, your thinking patterns will change accordingly, and you can confidently face life!

I'd like to suggest a book I think you'll really enjoy: "I'm Really Great."

Greetings, question asker.

Each time I exceed my budget, I am reminded that my family is not affluent.

Given the financial constraints of my family, I am seeking advice on how to manage my spending.

Please indicate the amount spent on each occasion of overspending.

One must inquire as to whether the individual in question set this limit themselves or if it was set by their parents. Alternatively, one must determine whether the limit was set by comparing oneself to others.

It is imperative that you distinguish between the aforementioned questions on your own.

My family is of an ordinary socioeconomic status and lacks the financial capacity to accommodate my spending habits, which could be perceived as extravagant.

One might inquire as to the provenance of this conviction. Was it frequently articulated by one's parents?

Alternatively, could it be a subjective perception?

In the event that the influence is that of one's parents, it is necessary to ascertain the standards by which they assess the suitability of expenditure.

What are the criteria you use to determine how you will spend your money? Could it be that the differences in your standards are causing the problem?

If this is indeed how you feel, it would be beneficial to ascertain the standard you have set for yourself. It is recommended that you answer the aforementioned questions and record your responses.

A precise definition of the term "extravagant" is essential.

Once a clear standard and understanding of one's own spending habits have been established, the following question can be addressed:

What is the emotional response that follows the expenditure of money? Based on the description provided, it can be inferred that the individual in question experiences a sense of self-discipline deficiency.

This assertion is not entirely accurate.

One's spending habits are often driven by emotional factors, rather than a conscious decision-making process. Following the expenditure of funds, an individual may experience feelings of guilt, leading to the internalization of the belief that such spending is inappropriate.

From a psychological perspective, it can be argued that a profound sense of deprivation exists within the subject.

The following are examples of common scarcity beliefs:

1. There is a perception that financial resources will be depleted rapidly.

2. I lack the financial resources to engage in discretionary spending.

3. It is unwise to expend funds on superfluous items.

Fourthly, there are still numerous financial obligations to be fulfilled.

5. Money is the genesis of all evil and has the potential to misdirect individuals.

6. Attaining a higher level of wealth is accompanied by an increase in the associated responsibilities.

7. The most effective method for maintaining one's assets is through savings.

8. My current capabilities are insufficient to procure additional financial resources.

9. It is challenging to earn money; therefore, one must exert additional effort to obtain it.

10. The conventional means of accumulating wealth are inadequate; only illicit methods can facilitate the attainment of substantial riches.

These are all misguided and outdated notions. It is plausible that these are the prevailing attitudes within your family with regard to financial matters, as familial beliefs tend to become deeply ingrained unless actively challenged and replaced.

The objective is to enhance one's current sentiments regarding financial expenditure. To achieve this, it is essential to gain profound insight into one's intrinsic perception of deprivation.

1. Out of necessity, not possession

The consumption of a cup of milk tea at a cost of 10 yuan is motivated by the desire to drink it and experience happiness.

Or is it because the majority of students consume this particular beverage, and therefore it is perceived as the norm?

2. Inferiority complex regarding the desire to possess items that others have

Should I spend less than my classmates, I am susceptible to ridicule.

The question remains: How much money is sufficient, regardless of the amount spent?

It is imperative to be mindful when spending money.

One may purchase a cup of milk tea for 20 yuan, 30 yuan, or 40 yuan. The act of purchasing milk tea is a source of happiness and enjoyment.

The expenditure is justifiable, and the individual is deserving of it. Subsequent feelings of remorse may ensue, therefore it is advised that this sum of money is not spent.

It is important to be aware of one's financial expenditure. This is a skill that can be developed through practice.

One should commence with the purchase of a cup of milk tea and subsequently a loaf of bread.

Prior to making a purchase, it is advisable to take a moment to collect oneself and to ensure that the expenditure is made with a sense of enjoyment.