Is acceptance and self-care just about indulging and pampering yourself?

Good morning, I extend to you a 360-degree hug.

Indeed, there is merit to your perspective. Acceptance and self-care entail doing what you desire and indulging yourself. However, there are conditions that must be met for doing what you want and indulging yourself. Absolute freedom is an illusion; only relative freedom exists.

In order to live in a civilised society, it is essential to respect the laws that regulate social relationships and moral standards. It is therefore imperative to obey the law.

It is imperative that we adhere to the law and refrain from engaging in any actions that are generally considered unethical or immoral. The legal system does not offer leniency, and it is in our best interest to avoid becoming social pariahs.

It is important to note that there are still certain rules that must be obeyed. Fortunately, the morals of society are relatively loose nowadays.

Having discussed external constraints, we will now turn to internal constraints. In Japanese culture, there is a common belief that actions which do not affect others are acceptable, regardless of how unconventional they may seem.

It is also acceptable as long as your actions do not affect others and you are not concerned with the opinions of others. For example, streaking is not considered a significant issue, even though it is generally regarded as indecent.

Our assessment of our own conduct is consistent: if our actions do not impact others, they are internally consistent. For instance, if you smoke, refrain from smoking in public spaces. This is a standard practice, and it is expected that you will adhere to it.

As long as your actions do not affect others and you are content with them, you are free to act as you see fit in public.

Indeed, if an individual can genuinely accept all aspects of themselves, whether positive, such as a strong work ethic, or negative, such as a tendency towards laziness, provided that it does not impact others and they themselves are not adversely affected, it can be said that they have chosen this lifestyle for themselves. Similarly, in many instances, we may perceive someone's lifestyle as somewhat unconventional, yet they find fulfillment in it, and that is sufficient.

It is comparable to the homeless individuals in Shanghai who would rather reside in doorways than seek shelter. There was also a woman who lived in a phone booth. Her rationale was internally consistent. For whatever reason, she did not appear anxious during the time she lived in the phone booth, and she still appeared respectable.

It is also reported that this was not the first occasion on which she had stayed in a telephone box.

I believe that self-acceptance, self-care, self-indulgence, and self-expression are essential for personal freedom, provided that these actions do not harm or affect others.

However, if it affects other people, it is not self-care, but selfishness.

In regard to the manner in which you accept and care for yourself, whether it be lying flat or engaging in physical activity, it is your prerogative to choose. Each individual has a unique approach. The crucial element is that you must adhere to a logical consistency in your choices.

Some individuals may prioritize self-care by investing in the well-being of others, with the aim of fostering a sense of value and importance in themselves. This approach can vary significantly from one person to another.

I would like to conclude by recommending a book entitled "The Power of Self-Care."

I am often both Buddhist and pessimistic, an occasionally positive and motivated counselor, and I believe in the value of a positive outlook.

Hello, host. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It's important to distinguish between self-acceptance and self-care. Self-acceptance is not about indulging or pampering yourself. It's about accepting yourself as you are, and that's not the same as self-indulgence.

Could I perhaps ask what is meant by the term "self-acceptance"?

The American psychologist G. W. Allport proposed that self-acceptance is a characteristic of a healthy and mature personality.

Olport offers the following definition: an individual loves and accepts himself and his characteristics, recognizing the positive value of everything about himself, including his body, abilities, character, reputation, etc., and accepting his reality.

It can be seen in feelings of pride in one's material self, including one's body, clothing, and possessions; satisfaction with one's social self, including one's social status and reputation; and pleasure in one's spiritual self.

It could be said that self-acceptance is the foundation of self-confidence and self-change. It may be the case that the lack of self-worth and feelings of shame caused by a lack of self-acceptance are at the heart of many anxieties, depressions, obsessive-compulsive disorders, personality disorders and many other negative experiences.

Self-acceptance can be defined as an individual's positive attitude towards oneself and one's own characteristics. This could be described as being happy with one's real situation, not being proud of one's strengths, and not feeling inferior about one's weaknesses. In addition, self-acceptance could be considered a birthright.

It is not necessary for a person to have outstanding merits, achievements, or make changes that others want in order to be accepted.

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, a healthy person is able to accept themselves and human nature without feeling upset or complaining about it. We can live well with our shortcomings and imperfections, just as we accept the natural qualities of water and rocks.

Accepting oneself involves understanding one's position, recognizing one's needs and desires, and acknowledging one's capabilities and limitations.

Accepting oneself can be defined as the ability to calmly accept one's own imperfections, to be patient with oneself, and to believe that one can continue to improve and grow in reality.

Accepting oneself can be defined as a process of valuing and cherishing one's own qualities and attributes, while also respecting the unique characteristics of others. It involves being able to view the differences between oneself and others in an objective manner, and understanding that one's life is a special and unique journey. Even without external validation, one can develop a sense of self-acceptance and understanding.

Accepting yourself means that when you make a mistake, you recognize that just one thing or one action is wrong, without necessarily concluding that your entire being is bad. Allowing yourself to make mistakes and seeing them as part of life can also be a helpful way to grow.

Accepting oneself may be defined as accepting all the real phenomena in life. This could entail being neither subjective nor bigoted, nor arrogant nor humble.

As the renowned quote by Romain Rolland suggests, there is a kind of heroism that comes from loving life after understanding its truths.

For this reason, it is also important to love ourselves after taking the time to understand ourselves clearly.

It would be inaccurate to suggest that self-acceptance is self-indulgence.

Some people may find comfort in the idea of "letting nature take its course" as a way to explain the challenges and obstacles they face in life. However, it's important to recognize that true letting nature take its course is not about stagnation or inaction, but rather about aligning with one's true purpose and moving forward with intention.

Some people may use the concept of self-acceptance as a way to avoid facing challenges or imperfections in life. This can be a form of self-deception, particularly when we encounter difficulties or setbacks and feel unable to cope. It's important to recognize that having a strong inner self and confidence is essential for navigating life's challenges.

It's similar to someone struggling with anxiety who is unable to venture out alone and is reluctant to work. When they are advised by a psychologist to embrace themselves, their immediate response might be that since they are unable to go out or socialize, they might as well accept this version of themselves and simply not change. They may decide to venture out in the future if they are able to, and if not, that will be their decision. They have to accept this version of themselves anyway...

I would suggest that this is not quite the same as self-acceptance.

True self-acceptance is not about indulging yourself. Since self-acceptance means "adopting a positive attitude towards oneself in all things," it is important to face the reality of the situation and give yourself time to make constant breakthroughs and changes. There is no need to hurry, but it is important to take your time. Self-acceptance requires a process, as does change.

Ultimately, the goal of self-acceptance is for individuals to confront their true selves, embrace them, and then set off from that foundation to further improve themselves.

As previously mentioned, when we are unable to leave the house due to anxiety, it is important to accept this situation as a first step towards change. However, there is still hope for us. Even if we are currently unable to leave the house, there is still the possibility of going out to work and socialize in the future.

It would be beneficial at this time to acknowledge that change does not happen overnight, accept all the negative experiences that will happen after we step outside our homes, and give ourselves time to take things slowly. Believing that on the basis of accepting the current situation, we can slowly overcome such fears and move towards a new life may also be helpful.

Here are a few suggestions on how to achieve self-acceptance.

It can be challenging to accept ourselves, and this is often related to our growth experience. During our growth, we may have felt rejected or criticized, which can leave a lasting impact. When we face challenges or perceive shortcomings, it's natural for a voice in our hearts to emerge, reflecting past experiences and prompting self-rejection or criticism.

It is worth noting that self-acceptance requires practice. I myself also practiced for a long time before I gradually improved my level of self-acceptance. While it is undoubtedly challenging to completely accept oneself, I have found that the more we accept ourselves, the more confident we become and the more motivated we are to change.

It may be helpful to view self-acceptance as a skill that can be developed through daily practice, rather than as an innate trait. This approach allows us to recognize that, like any skill, self-acceptance can be acquired through consistent effort.

We are pleased to present five ways to cultivate self-acceptance, as revealed by clinical psychologists:

1. Consider setting a goal of self-acceptance.

"Self-acceptance begins with intention," suggests psychologist Jeffrey Samber. "It may be helpful to consider setting a goal for ourselves to transform a world of blame, doubt, and shame into a world of inclusion, acceptance, and trust." This idea acknowledges that self-loathing may not be the most conducive to a satisfying life.

Sambur suggests that if we set the goal that a life of self-acceptance is much better than a life of self-hatred, we may find ourselves starting a chain reaction within ourselves to adapt to a peaceful life.

2. Consider recording your strengths.

It may be helpful to write down one of your strengths every day, affirm your own value, and see your own strengths. This could help you discover your strengths. Playing to your strengths might also give you more confidence than correcting your weaknesses.

In today's society, we have the opportunity to compensate for our shortcomings through cooperation, and our strengths will reflect our unique value.

3. It may be helpful to seek support from interpersonal relationships.

It may be helpful to spend time with people you feel comfortable with, who will give you unconditional acceptance, support, and love. This could help you to establish a supportive relationship that will make you feel more stable, peaceful, and joyful.

4. Consider speaking with your inner self.

Take a moment to imagine interacting with your best self. Imagine that your best self, the one deep within, has stepped out of your body and is looking at your current living environment or situation. What would it suggest you do?

This visualization of separation may help you to move beyond your current self, or the self that is suffering, and to tap into your inner wisdom, which is your best self, to facilitate healing.

This exercise offers guidance on how to become our own best parents and show compassion and love for ourselves. You may find it helpful to spend a few minutes meditating and doing this exercise when you are in crisis or need some guidance or self-comfort.

5. It may be helpful to try to act in a way that aligns with your desired way of being.

If you feel you are not a valuable person, it may help to give yourself value and hold onto this belief. Once we can accept ourselves unconditionally, we may find it easier to forgive our mistakes and give up the need for approval from others.

It is likely that we have all made mistakes in our lives, as have many others. Our identity is not necessarily defined by our mistakes.

When we lack something within, we may look for it outside ourselves. If we cannot accept ourselves, we may crave acceptance from others, but we should remember that everything outside is, to some extent, unstable. Therefore, seeking inward may be the only way to gain stable acceptance. When we achieve self-acceptance, we may find that we no longer care so much about the approval and evaluation of others, and we may gain true inner freedom.

I would like to suggest some books on self-acceptance and self-care.

You might find it helpful to read "Accepting Imperfect Self," "The Power of Self-Care," and "Rebuilding Your Life."

It is my hope that you will be able to accept yourself, learn to care for yourself, build up your inner strength, and gain inner stability and freedom. Wishing you the best.

Good evening! Your question is very good.

The question is good. I'll try to answer it using my understanding.

I believe that acceptance and pampering-yourself-12463.html" target="_blank">self-care are not the same as indulging yourself.

Next, let's look at what these words mean.

Acceptance is a self-evaluation of oneself. Accepting oneself from the bottom of one's heart is the true self.

It's neither better nor worse than happiness. It's about self-affirmation.

Self-care is a systematic topic about loving yourself. It's about self-care and learning to affirm yourself.

Self-care is a form of self-love.

Pampering yourself: Everyone may have a different understanding of it. I can share my understanding with you. Pampering yourself is negative if you harm yourself.

The Yi Xinli platform recommends "The Power of Self-Care."

The book Embrace Imperfection is very well written. I will share a few words from it with the questioner.

No one who has not struggled can be happy. Only those who have been hurt can understand those who are hurt. This understanding comes from compassion and an understanding of an imperfect life. I have come to understand that suffering and struggling are inevitable in life. We are born with imperfections, and suffering has taught us humility. This is the meaning of suffering in life, and it is also the gift of imperfection.

Accepting your flaws helps you grow and make good choices.

I'm Yingying, your counselor.

I love you, world.

Hello, question asker!

I am Xiaobai, and I'm here to help you get rid of your worries.

I have carefully read your question and I am going to offer you some of my views and suggestions here.

Indulging and pampering yourself is not the same as accepting yourself and caring for yourself. How do you strike the right balance?

I'd like some recommendations for good books on this subject.

Let me be clear: acceptance and self-care are not the same as indulging and pampering yourself. It depends on the situation. For example, everyone is lazy by nature. They want to slack off before things are done. They set a goal and then give up. They always want to make themselves comfortable and can't get out of their comfort zone.

It is indulging and pampering oneself, not acceptance and self-care.

Let me be clear: what is acceptance?

Let me be clear: acceptance does not mean acceptance or internalization.

I accept you as you are, with your unique structure.

I accept and support you.

Everything about you fits into my system of thought. You are an integral part of my being.

I am going to tell you what self-care is.

Self-care is an attitude of self-love. It is also known as self-compassion and self-kindness.

Self-care includes the three components of self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

You must be kind to yourself. Understand your mistakes, forgive yourself, and believe that you deserve love and happiness, even in the face of failure and suffering.

Universal human nature means understanding the affinity between oneself and others in terms of life experience, including the connectedness and universality of experiences of misfortune and suffering.

Mindfulness is the practice of being awake and objectively accepting one's current perceptions, experiences, and feelings.

The components of self-care are interrelated, mutually reinforcing, and mutually enhancing. There is no doubt that numerous studies have shown that self-care can effectively improve an individual's mental health and enhance their mental well-being.

You need to find the right balance. Here's how:

▶️ 1. First, you must objectively view yourself. If something is not your problem, you must clearly distinguish it and say, "This is not my problem."

▶️2. Treat yourself as you would a friend, relative, or child. Put yourself in their shoes. What would you do if they were in pain? When you are in pain, you need this kind of care the most.

▶️3. There's nothing to be embarrassed about in crying when you're feeling down. After you've cried, give yourself a tissue with care.

▶️4. Learn to embrace yourself. When you cross your arms and hug your shoulders, you really feel embraced, which is very reassuring. Embrace yourself often.

▶️5. Imagine there is a strong and gentle version of yourself. Whenever you are weak and desperate, he/she will appear, be your pillar, comfort you, and always stand by your side. (It sounds a bit strange, but I really thought this way when I was young and still do, and I have overcome many difficult times with this.)

‼ But, let me be clear: acceptance and self-care are never about indulging yourself. There has to be a limit to everything.

If you weigh things up for yourself, you'll see that the process of becoming better will definitely not be easy. Step outside your comfort zone. Sometimes, you also need to push yourself and force yourself to do things.

Read this book.

Know yourself, accept yourself.

"Live the Meaning of Life."

In summary, I am going to give you some suggestions that I am confident will be of help to you.

I am confident that these suggestions will be of benefit to you.

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your question.

After reviewing your inquiry, I believe I can clarify some points for you.

1. In response to the question, "Is self-care-just-about-indulging-and-pampering-yourself-12463.html" target="_blank">acceptance and self-care just indulging and spoiling yourself?"

This part of your question is a common one. However, it seems to stem from a deeper fear and a lack of understanding and acceptance.

It is important to note that acceptance and self-care do not entail indulging or spoiling oneself. Rather, it entails accepting both the positive and negative aspects of oneself based on a comprehensive understanding of one's own characteristics. For instance, some parents have historically viewed introversion with skepticism, collectively perceiving it as a negative trait.

If one of these children happens to be introverted, they will be perceived as such, with the assumption that this is a negative trait.

Therefore, we utilize the act of choice to accept what we refer to as the "bad" part.

It is important to note that there is no inherent distinction between introverts and extroverts in terms of their inherent value. Many traits are not inherently good or bad.

In light of the above, it is recommended that, when learning about one's own characteristics, the initial step should be to accept these characteristics rather than criticising oneself and forcing change.

Once we accept our original selves, complete and true, the traits we previously found undesirable will cease to be an issue. Instead, they will become part of the resources we draw upon as we pursue growth.

This is what is meant by the assertion that acceptance is not merely about embracing one's positive attributes, but also about accepting one's negative traits.

Acceptance is the key to facilitating natural growth.

2. How can one ascertain the appropriate level of acceptance?

In regard to the scope of acceptance, it can be seen that the original questioner's initial misconception is at the root of the issue. If accepting oneself is simply a matter of doing whatever one wants and indulging one's own whims, then this is not a constructive approach.

This case study is inspired by the work of Li Xue, author of "Get Out of the Drama."

It is a common misconception among parents that they cannot indulge or spoil their children. In reality, when their children refuse to eat, parents often force them to eat, claiming that they cannot indulge or spoil their children.

When we apply psychoanalytic principles to understand our parents, we often find that this phenomenon is particularly prevalent among parents (especially grandparents) who grew up in extremely material poverty, often lacking food and clothing. Inside, they live with an unseen child who is hungry. Consequently, when they have children and grandchildren, they project the needs of this inner child onto their children and grandchildren.

As a result, they remain in their own fantasies and fail to recognize that their real children and grandchildren have indeed eaten enough. Some children even suffer from stomachaches and vomiting as a result.

To restore this part of the case, I would like the questioner to identify whether there are any elders in their life who have conveyed the belief that allowing oneself to be happy and free is indulgent.

It is important to be aware of this.

3. Are there any particular books on this subject that you would recommend?

There are numerous excellent resources on this topic.

I would like to suggest the book When I Learn to Love Myself, the Whole World Will Love Me by Zhou Fan. It is written in an accessible style, making it suitable for a broad audience, including Xiaobai.

I would like to suggest the second book, "Only Beauty is Imperfect" by Hai Lan. I believe it is a valuable resource that offers a seven-step method for sorting out emotions at a low cost.

In conclusion, it is essential that we learn to manage our emotions, accept our perceived imperfections, and prioritize self-care and self-empathy.

One of the most prominent figures in humanistic psychology, Carl Rogers, once stated, "Love is deeply understanding and accepting."

When understanding and acceptance occur, it is a moment of great contentment and happiness for the present. It is important to believe that human nature is innately good.

Some individuals deviate from their optimal trajectory due to an inherent flaw in their brain's primitive coding. Without the benefit of acquired cognitive upgrades and behavioral practices, the subconscious mind has created this life, and they are not aware of it.

It is never too late to begin learning to view yourself with a more discerning eye. The optimal time to plant a tree was not only ten years ago, but also the present.

I hope the above responses are beneficial to you. Best regards,

Hello there!

I think it's really interesting to see your question about what self-care-just-about-indulging-and-pampering-yourself-12463.html" target="_blank">acceptance and self-care are. I often hear people say that it's about indulging yourself and pampering yourself, but I think there's more to it than that.

So, what exactly is acceptance?

What's the heart of acceptance?

1. Learn to attribute internal and external factors in many ways. For example, if a person is not doing well in school, acceptance is the beginning of analyzing the person's learning environment, learning attitude, and his lack of interest in this area of study. How can you motivate this person to study through hard work? And admit that this person did not do well in school before, but from now on, you can slowly work hard to become what you want to be.

This is acceptance. Instead of simply blaming and lecturing, you can say, "You didn't study hard enough to graduate, and that's okay! We all have our moments. You're not hopeless, you can keep trying!

2. We all have to recognize and accept the limitations of being human.

We all have different levels of information and time management skills in our daily lives.

Oh, yes! When high-speed rail wasn't so popular in our country, we sometimes had to spend two or three days on the train when we went out on business trips. After encountering unexpected events, please don't blame and judge yourself for being stupid and dumb. If only I had known... Instead, please admit that you really didn't know enough and weren't adequately prepared in the past. Then learn from your experience, do better next time, and avoid similar things from happening.

What's the heart of self-care?

We all have to deal with issues from time to time. When you do, do you listen to others and care about their feelings, or do you follow your own thoughts and act according to your own wishes and feelings? Self-care is all about putting your own feelings and needs first, and then balancing them with the feelings and needs of others to complete the task.

? Acceptance and self-care are a wonderful way to learn and grow in psychology.

It's so important to accept yourself and take care of yourself. It's all about understanding your emotions and needs, using a positive approach to treat yourself gently, and becoming a better person.

It's so important to understand our own emotions first. I'd highly recommend reading the book "Emotions, Please Open the Door." It's a great book that talks about how emotional responses are formed, what messages are conveyed by common emotional responses, and how to respond to and identify emotions. The last part is about how to accept your emotions. It's an easy-to-understand book, so I really think you'll enjoy it!

I'd also like to mention the wonderful comic book, Hug a Good Self. This is a psychology comic book that draws on common everyday situations and explains them from a psychological perspective. It talks about a lot of ways to accept and care for yourself.

I'd also like to suggest "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist." It's a great book about the counseling process. It uses lots of different psychological tools and methods to help you find yourself, learn to care for yourself, and live a fulfilling life. The best part is that it's not too technical, so it's easy to understand.

But there's so much more to discover! You can read more.

I really hope my answer helps you out! Sending love to you and the world! ?

The original poster's question is a great one! In reality, many people "borrow" the name of accepting and caring for themselves, or simply "lie down" or "act" selfishly without considering the feelings of those around them.

It may seem that you are comfortable, but if your interpersonal environment is damaged, you have the opportunity to make changes and become truly comfortable!

"Is acceptance and self-care just about indulging and pampering yourself?" Absolutely not! Acceptance and self-care is so much more than that.

"Acceptance and self-care" is all about embracing your current situation, even when you're not performing at your best. It's about learning to accept yourself, your abilities, and your circumstances. It's the concrete manifestation of "self-care" and it's an amazing way to live!

And there's so much richness in "self-care," both spiritual and material!

"Indulging and pampering oneself" gives the impression that no matter what the circumstances are, no matter what other people are like, one should first and foremost pay attention to one's own feelings and needs, do whatever one wants, and let other people be. It's a great way to prioritize yourself!

How do you strike the right balance? I think it's mainly about boundaries, which encompass everything that makes a person a unique individual—and it's a journey of discovery!

There are so many things to consider! Things we can see, things we can't, things that are tangible, things that are intangible, things that are spiritual, things that are material, things that are skills, and so on. It would be great to be able to take into account the boundaries and pressures of others without putting too much pressure on your own boundaries.

It's a challenge, but it's also an adventure! Everyone's inner meaning is rich and unique, and everyone's environment is different. On the path of life, we're all "feeling our way across the river."

Don't let yourself live too tired or too aggrieved! And don't be too aggrieved or harsh with others. This is a general and easy-to-grasp "degree" of it, and it's a great one!

The wonderful thing about the internet is that you can search for "good books on this subject" and then choose according to your wishes. This is also a kind of "little care" that you can give to yourself!

I really hope my reply has been helpful! Wishing you the best!

If you indulge yourself in everything, it could be perceived as a form of self-indulgence. This could result in a tendency to become overly indulgent, which may not always be beneficial. The elderly often spoil their children, and while acceptance-and-self-care-just-about-indulging-and-pampering-yourself-12463.html" target="_blank">self-care is important, it's crucial to find a balance.

For instance, those who are irresponsible, uncertain of their direction, lacking perseverance and willpower, with a short attention span, and lacking an understanding of life's meaning may not respect themselves or others. We are all independent individuals.

Is acceptance and self-care simply about indulging oneself?

How might we find the right balance between acceptance and self-care?

I wonder if there might be any good books on these two aspects.

Perhaps it would be helpful to accept the situation as it is.

And care for each other.

It is important to remember that others may face their own challenges and not everyone will necessarily agree with our choices. It is essential to understand the boundaries and to allow ourselves the space to embrace self-acceptance and care in a way that is aligned with our values and goals.

It may be helpful to accept what you cannot change or do not need to change.

It may also be helpful to care for your emotions and to experience your feelings.

It might be helpful to set some goals for self-growth.

It is possible that we may still encounter various troubling things in our lives. If this occurs, it may be helpful to consider making adjustments, allowing ourselves to record what happened, how our perceptions have changed, and how we are coping with our emotions.

Often, these things that happen are just small things, and we may also be our own worst critics. This is a subconscious habit, so it may be helpful to become more aware of our thoughts and make clear adjustments to our thinking.

It might be helpful to consider other solutions. It's important not to give up easily, and it's also important not to refuse to turn back until you hit a wall. You might find it beneficial to talk to a friend you trust or a psychological counselor, so that you have a window to talk about and be able to take in different opinions.

It may be helpful to consider what difficulties you have faced when you are feeling discouraged and to give yourself more encouragement and support. If you feel you cannot do it on your own, it is okay to ask for help from others. It is important to remember that self-acceptance and self-care can be beneficial in helping you to cope with challenges.

It is important to try to avoid falling into a negative mindset too easily, and to avoid getting stuck in a rut. This can be a helpful way to adjust your outlook. As a certified psychological author, I would gently suggest reading more books on self-acceptance and care, such as: "Knowing My Name," "I, Living Alone," "The Courage to Be Disliked," "The Courage to Be Rejected," "Self-Care: The Only Way to a Strong Life," and "Love Yourself, No Other Choice."

Could I ask you a question?

Hello!

People often hear about self-acceptance but don't know how or why to do it.

Self-acceptance is a mature trait.

Psychologists say it means loving and accepting yourself, your body, your abilities, your character, your talents, etc.

If you can't accept yourself, you might have problems like anxiety, depression, OCD, or personality disorders.

Self-acceptance is being happy with who you are. It's not being proud of your good qualities or ashamed of your bad ones. It's being kind to yourself.

Don't compare yourself to others. Know yourself.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow said that a healthy person can accept themselves and human nature. They don't complain about things like fire or sand. We can live well with our own shortcomings and flaws.

Knowing yourself means knowing your limits.

Accepting yourself means having confidence and a positive attitude even when you see your imperfections.

Accepting yourself means accepting your life as it is.

If you can accept everything that happens to you, your heart will become peaceful. You will no longer fight against it.

2. Self-care

Caring for yourself is hard. In real life, you may care for and comfort others, but when you need to be cared for and comforted yourself, we often don't know what to do.

How do we care for ourselves?

Treat yourself the way you would treat someone else.

Hug yourself.

Next, pay attention to what you say to yourself.

People who are hard on themselves often don't realize they are being hard on themselves. Be aware of the voice in your head that blames and attacks yourself. Write down what you were thinking or what you were about to say.

For example, someone who doesn't care for themselves might say, "How could you be so stupid?" At this time, you need to ask yourself, "Would I say that to someone else?" Sometimes, we only realize how harsh we are on ourselves when we think about it.

Learn to be alone when you are lonely and lost, and comfort yourself with physical movements.

Kind physical gestures can have an immediate effect on our body and brain, soothing our nervous system and relieving stress. For example, you can place your hands over your heart when you're sad or put your arms around yourself when you're aggrieved.

Self-care and self-acceptance are not self-indulgence. Slacking off and eating junk food is an act of self-indulgence.

Self-care and self-acceptance are two different things. Self-care is about being healthy in the long term. Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself, even if you don't change.

I hope this is inspiring.

Hello, question asker. I'm happy to answer your question.

From what I know about you, it seems like you have some doubts about self-acceptance and care. I'd like to take a moment to explain what it means to accept oneself.

It's more about accepting your own thoughts. You should accept yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, unconditionally. It's like a mother accepting her child. A child is your own, regardless of their strengths and weaknesses, you should accept them unconditionally. This way, the child will feel secure and satisfied at home.

Of course, self-acceptance doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. It means you can take a break when you're tired and relax after a hard day's work. It means you value yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses, and you value everything you have.

I accept myself. I start by acknowledging my self-perception, then work on improving negative perceptions, and finally, I value all of myself. Self-acceptance also means allowing yourself to make mistakes. We all make mistakes, and it's important to learn to forgive yourself. Don't be too harsh on yourself, and remember that mistakes aren't always your fault.

I'll also give the questioner a quick suggestion here, since they asked the question on the platform.

Know yourself.

We all need to learn to recognize ourselves, and the questioner should also recognize their own strengths and qualities. Different personalities have different strengths and weaknesses. Understanding your strengths and the qualities you value can help you strike a balance when trying to accept your own shortcomings. If you can't identify your strengths clearly, try writing them down, for example:

I really enjoy learning new things.

I have a strong sense of justice.

I'm going to take some time to explore myself.

I'm pretty good at drawing.

I'm creative and good at problem-solving.

Keep on discovering your strengths. There's no need to write them all at once. If you can't think of them all at once, don't worry. Just write them down as you remember them. This is a great way to get to know yourself.

Make a list of your achievements.

We can identify and recognize our strengths by listing our achievements from childhood to the present. These can be things like helping others, personal achievements, or overcoming difficulties. They don't have to be recognized or praised by the public to be considered achievements.

Taking the time to reflect on your own strengths can help you recognize your own abilities and understand yourself better. For example:

I learned to ride a bike when I was 10 years old without any formal training.

I once set myself the goal of increasing my wealth by half a year, and I was able to achieve it.

When you were unemployed, you had to adjust to the situation and support yourself, but now that you've overcome this difficult time, you've recognized your strengths and you're in a good place.

List your achievements that are worth noting. This will help the questioner understand their strengths better.

Take a moment to recognize how you think about yourself.

It's important to recognize how you see yourself. We all have some less-than-flattering traits, but it's not helpful to be too harsh on yourself. These characteristics may have developed from your family of origin, or they may be innate in your personality.

Being too hard on yourself can make you see things in a negative way and even lead to you making accusations that aren't true. Apart from making you feel bad about yourself, it doesn't help in other ways.

Feeling ashamed or disappointed doesn't help you accept yourself. The questioner can try listing negative thoughts about themselves, such as

I'm a failure at this.

I tend to indulge myself.

I'm overweight.

I'm afraid of making decisions and taking responsibility.

Think about that inner voice that criticizes you.

If you catch yourself having negative thoughts or self-denying thoughts, try questioning them and calming your mind. Use positive words or thoughts to refute them, or you can also use your previously identified strengths to resist negative thoughts.

If you catch yourself thinking, "I'm so stupid," try rephrasing it: "I may not know much about this area, but I'm very good at other things, so it doesn't matter."

It's important to remind yourself of your strengths. Everyone has different talents and expertise, and you should be proud of yours. Don't let the inner critic's negative thoughts get to you.

"Okay, inner critic, I know you always say I'm not smart, but I don't feel that way. Right now I've identified my strengths, and I'm sure I'm good at other important areas.

Treat your inner critic well. Remind yourself, teach yourself, and learn to correct your negative self-perception.

Be okay with who you are.

Do more of the things you enjoy and find your life's goals and meaning in what you like. Accept your current state, whether good or bad.

When you're feeling down, you can do something to make yourself feel better. Treat yourself to something sweet. It'll make you feel good!

It's important to make yourself happy without harming others. Self-acceptance takes time, so be patient. You're reshaping your own perception of yourself.

We all make mistakes, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Even saints have their strong and weak points. So be patient, accept yourself, and have mercy on yourself so that you can live more comfortably.

I'd highly recommend "God's Memo" as one of the most inspirational books.

I hope my answer helps the person who asked the question.

Hello, I'm a heart coach. Let go, be accompanied with warmth, and listen to your emotional story with sincerity.

I'm happy to talk with you about self-acceptance and self-care. I can tell you have a good sense of awareness and thinking.

We're so caught up in work and daily life that we rarely take the time to really understand ourselves. With this in mind, I'll be working with you to help you accept and care for yourself.

1. Self-acceptance means accepting that you can't do everything, and then trying your best to work towards being able to do it, without lying to yourself.

It's about accepting the status quo, accepting the reality of "this me," and then having the courage to change the things that can be changed.

It doesn't matter how unworthy, inadequate, bad, or embarrassing this "me" of ours is. If you're aware of this "me" right now, then this is the perfect time to start.

1) Everyone is unique.

No two leaves are the same, and the same is true of people. We're all unique, and we're all the best version of ourselves.

We are all God's children, and we are all great beings!

2) Everything happens for a reason.

Everyone has their own areas of strength. If you're not successful in an area, it doesn't mean you're not good enough. It just means that the area isn't right for you. If you persevere, you'll find an area that suits you and where you have the most advantages and abilities.

3) Believe in yourself.

No matter what the circumstances, don't give up on yourself. Even if everyone else has given up on you, you've still got to believe in yourself and work together.

Come on, you can do it!

2. Self-care is about giving yourself unconditional support and comfort, while embracing all the experiences that people have.

Self-care also helps us stay positive and optimistic, and it keeps us from getting caught up in the never-ending "good" vs. "bad" mindset.

There are three key elements to self-care.

1) It means treating ourselves with kindness.

That is, we should try to understand ourselves in a loving way, rather than harshly criticizing and blaming.

2) It means recognizing that we're all in this together.

Connect with others through their life experiences, rather than feeling isolated by your own pain.

3) It requires being mindful of the present moment.

That is, to keep a balanced view of our experiences without ignoring or exaggerating our suffering.

Treating yourself well is the core of self-care. I'd also recommend the book "The Power of Self-Care" and "Psychological Nutrition."

You can also try some meditation exercises to help you meditate and love yourself, and give yourself a hug every day (a butterfly hug with your arms crossed).

I hope these tips are helpful for you, and I want to let you know that I care about you and I'm here for you.

If you want to keep in touch, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd be happy to keep in touch and work with you one-on-one.

Hello, dear colleague.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "letting yourself go and indulging yourself." Are you talking about acting on your own whims without thinking about whether the action is appropriate in every way?

I think there's a difference between self-acceptance and self-care. I've experienced and felt that there's more to it than just doing whatever you want and indulging yourself. Self-acceptance and self-care are directed inward.

Before you can accept and care for yourself, you might feel a lot of anger inside. But self-acceptance and care doesn't mean giving in to that anger and yelling at the other person.

It's not about suppressing your anger, not expressing yourself, not defending your rights and interests, and being a nice person just because that's what's expected of you or because you think you should be.

Instead, when you sense your anger, turn your attention inward, care for yourself, and ask yourself, like a good friend, why you are angry. Allow your anger to have an inner space to express itself completely.

Be okay with yourself for feeling angry right now. Then, listen to your anger, listen to how you've been treated unfairly, take care of your needs, and bring the energy of care and companionship to yourself. You'll start to feel a sense of acceptance and tolerance.

The anger will pass, and what will remain is a calm and powerful state of mind. You'll be able to see your own demands, and then you can express them to the other party very powerfully and defend your rights. This is the self-acceptance and care that I've experienced.

This will give you a lot of strength.

It can be tough to achieve self-acceptance and care in this way because we rarely reflect on our inner thoughts and feelings, accept our inner vulnerability and powerlessness, and understand our inner selves. We're used to acting according to our own inertia, anxious to soothe our inner unrest and anxiety through various actions.

For instance, if you're feeling anxious, you might go shopping, thinking it's a way to show yourself love. But you might not even know why you're feeling anxious in the first place, let alone what your real inner needs are. Is shopping really the answer?

Not many people have the patience or courage to look deep within themselves to discover what causes their anxiety. Not many truly listen to their hearts. I believe that to accept and care for oneself means looking within, going deep within, and understanding one's own actions.

This takes a lot of honesty and courage, because when you start looking within, you come into contact with all kinds of discomfort that has built up over time, all kinds of feelings that have been ignored or suppressed by our busy, habitual lives, and the way we have distorted ourselves in order to survive.

But if you accept and care for the parts of yourself that you find unappealing or uncomfortable, you'll gain more understanding and compassion for yourself and others. You'll also become more flexible, more measured in your actions, and more powerful.

It's worth doing for yourself, and it's also a sign of truly taking responsibility for your own life and truly caring for yourself.

When it comes to book recommendations and exploring yourself, my favorite is "A Journey Back to the Present" by Lerner Jackson. But I've found that the most beneficial way to benefit from any book is to put it into practice and truly test and practice the teachings that resonate within you. Live them out and make them part of you.

This is the best way to get the most out of it.

I hope this is helpful to you. Best regards,

Hello!

Host:

Hi there! I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I think your question is really interesting!

At the same time, I also noticed that the poster has actively sought help on the platform and expressed their doubts, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand and know themselves, so as to adjust themselves and encounter a better self. I'm so happy to see that the poster has sought help and expressed their doubts. This will help them to better understand and know themselves, so as to adjust themselves and encounter a better self.

I'll also share some of my own thoughts and observations, which I hope will be helpful for the original poster.

1. Self-acceptance

Reading the post made me think of a story. The heroine in the story was betrayed by her husband's infidelity, and he even took all the money, leaving her in debt. This made her collapse for a while.

It's so sad to see how good she used to be and how she is now. It made her feel pretty miserable for a while. So she attacked herself, blaming and doubting herself.

At this time, her friends couldn't stand it anymore. Some of them accompanied her to scold the scumbag, while others accompanied her to go shopping and have fun. They told her to accept her emotions and that she needed to rest now.

She agreed, and she could finally feel some relief. But even after half a month, she still didn't feel any better.

She feels like she's followed the example of her friends, which is totally normal!

She should be better, don't you think? At this point, the counselor told her not to worry, to take things slowly, and to accept the fact that she cannot change things right now.

Then she feels that this is not good, because she believes that there is a limit to accepting oneself. But the counselor told her that acceptance is actually a state of permission, and there is no such thing as a limit!

It's okay to admit your limitations and accept that you can't do it right now.

And you know what? Being willing to give yourself time and space will make you believe that you will get better, little by little. Later on, the counselor asked the girl, "Do you feel better when you push yourself?"

She replied that it didn't seem to be the case. Later, she returned to her hometown, where her parents' unconditional acceptance and love healed her.

What about this story? It really speaks to the worries of so many people, doesn't it?

We all want to accept ourselves, but we also have this little worry in the back of our minds about what will happen if we just let ourselves go and do nothing. It's totally normal! True self-acceptance is also about loving yourself. And behind loving yourself is also having some expectations for yourself.

Just as many mothers love their children, they actually have some expectations of them. But just because you expect something doesn't mean it should be.

It's important to remember that expecting ourselves to do something is not the same as expecting ourselves to do it. And when we have an expectation of becoming better, will we still let ourselves go?

2. Self-care

I really like a saying by a psychology author. She said, "Often, it's our own harshness towards ourselves that becomes the last straw that breaks us. On the other hand, our own gentle care for ourselves will give us the strength to go further." What I understand by self-care is that it's easier to use when we're feeling frustrated.

Or you might find you're more prone to self-attack and internal conflict. We all know that self-attack can cause tremendous mental wear and tear, and that's when self-care becomes especially important. Self-care can help us stop self-attack and reduce energy depletion, not over-attribute things to ourselves.

This helped him see things more objectively. It's good to recognize that we don't always have to put things on ourselves.

So, this can really help us to see things more clearly and objectively. Then, we can focus on the parts we can change, rather than letting our energy be completely drained by mental wear and tear.

3. Learn to use these perceptions rather than being used by them.

It's important to remember that no single perception can be applied to all situations. Self-acceptance and self-care are just as important as self-criticism.

Sometimes, a little bit of self-criticism can actually help people grow and improve. I think of Chen Kun's story, for example.

At one point, he realized that he was a bit lost. At this time, he saw some of his peers think that their acting was better than his.

And he felt a little jealous. What did he do in that moment?

He was really honest about how he felt and used that to help him improve his acting skills. He then set himself the goal of surpassing XX in terms of acting skills within a certain period of time.

I hope this story gives you a little bit of a feeling, too. When it comes to perception,

Sometimes, we just have to learn to use these perceptions to help us, rather than letting them trap us. We can use unconditional love to accept and care for ourselves, but we can also use conditional love to help us grow. We can break through the rules, or we can use the rules to help us grow.

I really hope these will be helpful and inspiring for you, the original poster. If you have any questions, just click to find a coach.

For one-on-one chats and exchanges!

Hello, I'm Flower.

First of all, I want to praise you for your timely awareness. I can also feel the confusion in the short text of the original poster. While the original poster is accepting herself, she may have discovered a problem.

Let's talk about it together.

Let me be clear: what does it mean to accept yourself?

Let's be clear: when we don't sleep well and suffer from insomnia, we feel very troubled and may even become angry. What's even more upsetting than insomnia is that we don't accept it.

We must accept the fact that we have insomnia. Without acceptance, we will become troubled and unable to sleep.

If we accept that we suffer from insomnia, we will care less about it. Our mood will become calmer.

I highly recommend the book The Brain's Happiness Code: New Brain Science Brings Us Calm, Confidence, and Satisfaction by Rick Hanson. Hanson states, "We must treat ourselves as well as we treat others."

You should also read Cong Fei Cong's "Allow Yourself: Meet Your Complete Self" and Christine Neff's "The Power of Self-Compassion."

These books will help the questioner understand what it means to accept oneself.

Absolutely not. Acceptance is not the same as indulging in self-pity.

I believe they are two distinct concepts. When we accept ourselves, we often find that we suddenly understand things that have previously eluded us.

We stop being hard on ourselves and start caring for ourselves, being aware of ourselves, and taking care of ourselves. Acceptance does not mean giving in to ourselves.

For example, if you're so anxious about an exam that you don't feel like studying, you need to take control and make a change.

That's not good enough. We need to make a priority list.

Anxiety makes people irritable and impatient. We can accept this emotion in ourselves, but that doesn't mean we do nothing after accepting it. We must still return to the matter itself and solve the problem.

I can't escape the whirlpool of self-doubt. What should I do?

I can accept the state of this whirlpool.

We must also understand that this self-denying whirlpool is not comprehensive and is just a temporary unilateral thought. So, what do we accept?

We must accept that we are imperfect, that we can lower our expectations of ourselves, and that we don't have to be good at everything. But this does not mean that we should not live our lives to the fullest.

I am confident that the above will prove helpful to the questioner.

Hello, host! I'm Youshi Umbrella.

I'm really happy to see this question from the original poster. It shows that they've started thinking about themselves and their relationship with themselves, which is great.

And this is something that most people have never experienced. I don't think it's an exaggeration to call this an awakening.

Then, I'd like to share a bit of my experience. It might not be completely accurate, but I once had problems with acceptance and self-care. I gained my current understanding through asking others and personal practice.

It's definitely useful for me, but I don't think it applies to everyone in every situation.

First, I'd like to answer the original poster's question. Acceptance and self-care definitely don't mean doing whatever you want. Why?

I'd like to take a moment to clarify what I mean by "acceptance" and "self-care."

The first step is to accept. I got this definition from a conversation with a coach: accept how you act in reality, or how other people act, without judging it or measuring it against what you think it should be. Just accept the moment, that real performance.

I came up with this quote myself, but I think that's what the coach meant. I was also in a situation where I couldn't accept myself. I had learned a lot, but I hadn't achieved anything that would allow me to earn a living and support myself, and I felt very frustrated.

The coach said that accepting yourself is about acceptance. At the time, I had only achieved 80% of my goal, if not less, but I felt like I had done my best and done a great job.

Why do you think this way? It's because you can't change what has already happened in reality.

What's already happened is a fact, and you can't change it. You can't change the moment you're living in right now, because it's just a moment.

Since we can only live in the present and can't go back to the past, we have to accept reality and ourselves.

It takes courage to accept reality, and it takes even more courage to accept that you are imperfect and perhaps even a failure. But that's who you are.

It's about using all your strength and recognizing that you didn't have any better options at the time. Whether or not other people in the world had those options, you couldn't choose them then, so they're equivalent to not having any.

Once you've accepted things as they are, you can stop being self-critical, stop dwelling on past mistakes, and stop worrying about current failures. You can then step back and see what else you can do.

So that's what the saying means: "Change what you can, accept what you can't." The first thing you have to do to figure out what you can and can't change is to accept that there are things you can't do, even if you try your best.

When I say "do your best," I don't mean try harder than everyone else. I mean do your best in everything you do. Before, you didn't have many options, unless you realized it at some point and then opened up to new options.

And why you should feel good about what you've achieved. It's a kind of self-affirmation and self-care.

So, what is self-care? Put simply, it's about giving yourself a bit of TLC. Treat yourself kindly, don't judge or criticise, and try to understand yourself, no matter what happens.

I recently came to understand that everything has two sides. Everyone has both positive and negative aspects.

So, according to this logic, the fact that you're not great at something is just one aspect.

And what's the other aspect?

You're doing a great job! You're trying, you're giving, and you're doing what you can to achieve a goal.

It doesn't matter if you think you can do it or not. It's a great thing to be willing to take responsibility for your own expectations and strive to achieve a better self. We can't make everything happen exactly as we envision, but as long as we're moving forward and getting closer to our ideal, we can give ourselves a pat on the back.

Because you're on a different journey than everyone else, and your limits are different from someone at a higher level.

So when you're facing these challenges, don't compare yourself to others. Instead, focus on recognizing the good parts of yourself, even if they're small and others might not see them.

Self-care isn't about other people or what you do or don't do. It's a matter of choice, like acceptance.

It's up to us to decide whether we want to make ourselves happy or anxious.

When it comes to the question of how much is enough, it's important to understand that acceptance and self-care don't mean ignoring our shortcomings. Instead, they require us to acknowledge both the good and the bad and integrate them to gain a comprehensive understanding of ourselves. If we truly accept ourselves, we'll continue to move forward and avoid letting ourselves slack off.

We should have goals, but we just have to accept that in the short term, it is unlikely that we can quickly pass the exam. It's not about refusing to face the reality that we haven't done enough to meet our expectations.

Second, acceptance and self-care help you adjust your mindset and lighten your load, so you don't add extra pressure to yourself. If you've achieved this, you'll know it.

Ultimately, I've found that while acceptance and self-care are simple concepts, they're not always easy to put into practice. I've been keeping a self-affirmation diary for almost a month and have written about my strengths on numerous occasions. Despite this, I still have moments where I doubt myself.

But after writing it down, I'll probably feel better about it over time. I think this is also something that requires long-term effort.

Best of luck to you too, host! I think if you can fully leverage these two resources, you'll find happiness is within reach.

There's no reason you can't enjoy a happy and joyful life even if you're not at the top of your game. If you're willing to accept it, you can feel happy in the present moment even if you haven't achieved your ideal list!

At the request of the original poster, I thought I'd suggest a few books. I've found the ones by Kao La Xiaowu, Zhou Ling and Brené Brown to be particularly helpful.

The first book was written by a psychologist who helps people relieve anxiety. She's also a great self-motivator and a high-achieving graduate of the University of Washington. The second book is a best-seller written by someone who started to awaken and rise up in their 30s. It introduces many principles of learning and life. I think after reading it, you may have a deeper understanding of the word acceptance because he mentioned that allowing the three parts of the brain to be in harmony and unity without conflict is also inextricably linked to acceptance. The third book shows that vulnerability also has a positive effect on people. If you can accept your own vulnerability, you'll be able to accept yourself and understand others.

There's also a book called "The Power of Self-Care" that I haven't finished reading yet, so I can't say what use it is for now. But if the original poster is interested, you can take a look.