Is it unprofessional or a breach of principles for a counselor to reply to my messages in private?

Hello, dear questioner!

It's totally understandable to wonder how many counselors you've consulted with during this period. But it's important to remember that you haven't yet established a real counseling relationship with this counselor. So, the question of whether their response to your message is a violation doesn't really apply.

The relationship between the client and the counselor is special. It's different from any other kind of human relationship because the counseling relationship is established, and the client presents their mental state and soul to the counselor. The counselor is there to support the client and help them work through their emotions. Sometimes, the counselor will share with the client how they can let go of negative emotions, which is why counselors need to be equipped with supervisors.

Because the visitor is completely open with the counselor about their mental state, the visitor is vulnerable to the counselor's influence. Because of the counselor-visitor relationship of trust, the visitor may take this counseling relationship outside the counseling room, forming an attachment or love relationship that can hinder the visitor's self-growth and affect the progress and effectiveness of the counseling. This is something that counselors would rather avoid. Therefore, counselors will not make this mistake.

I'm sure you wouldn't be so quick to throw away a beautiful painting you've spent hours and hours working on, would you?

Once you have established a counseling relationship with a counselor, it means that you trust the counselor. It's totally normal to feel a little unsure or anxious if you haven't yet had that chance to connect with a counselor.

We're here to help! When you go to see a counselor, you can look at their license and qualifications. The counselor's assistant will usually greet you and answer any questions you have. The counselor won't usually have direct contact with you until you've paid the fee. And a short consultation will take at least five days.

I'm sure you'll be able to find the answers you're looking for by comparing the above information with your own actual situation.

Hi, I'm Chu Mingdeng, and I just wanted to say that I love you all!

You are the only one who can fully feel your emotions, and you are the only one who can pull yourself out of the abyss. All counseling and therapy can only help you to see the fog in front of you, but ultimately, you are the one who can help yourself.

Trust is an essential element of the counseling relationship. If you begin to doubt your counselor, it may negatively impact the counseling process. By establishing trust, you and your counselor can create a more open and constructive environment, where you are more willing to openly discuss your problems and work towards finding solutions. If you have misgivings, it may be challenging to fully release your inner feelings.

You have the option of deciding whether or not you would like to continue.

The goal of establishing a counseling relationship is to empower the client to independently face the challenges in her life, rather than becoming overly reliant on the counselor. A typical counseling relationship involves a set timeframe and location for communication, as well as a review of the communication's outcomes.

As a general rule, there is no private contact after the counseling relationship ends. However, with the advent of the Internet, communication has become more convenient. In order to prevent certain emergencies, I will do my best to reply to the visitor's message whenever I am able to.

One potential drawback of this approach is that it could lead to a situation where the two parties become overly empathetic, which might prevent them from providing the client with the guidance and support they need to improve their mental health literacy. This could also result in a less clear-cut counseling relationship.

It would be advisable to communicate any emotions or opinions that arise from the counseling relationship with the counselor, in order to avoid any misunderstandings that could potentially lead to a dysfunctional counseling relationship.

The counseling relationship begins with the counselor's desire to help you. Both parties are equal and the relationship is voluntary. If something happens during the counseling process that you don't want to see, you can terminate the counseling.

It is important to remember that the client is in a vulnerable position compared to the counselor, and that the counselor's work is, to some extent, relatively well protected for the client. Due to the nature of the counseling relationship and the trust that is built between the two parties, the client may find it challenging to judge the counselor's actions or mistakes.

It is therefore important to report any developments in the relationship between the client and the counselor to the supervisor in order to ensure the client's safety and well-being. Furthermore, if the client and the counselor wish to maintain a close relationship, it is essential that they refrain from any contact for a period of three years following the termination of the counseling relationship.

It is important to remember that the attitude of both parties in the consulting relationship is of the utmost importance, regardless of the constraints that may be present. It is not advisable to doubt the consultant due to a temporary reason, nor is it constructive to rely on others as a source of temporary assistance. It is always possible to find solutions on your own, and you have the power to be your own source of inspiration.

Hello, question asker.

I've been thinking about this too. Based on my experience and understanding, I'll share some simple ideas and perspectives on the issue.

With the way communication has developed, it's really easy to get to know someone on a personal level. Even various platforms have opened private messaging channels to make it easier to communicate about things like consultation times.

It's important to keep the lines of communication open between the counselor and the client.

The industry's stance on avoiding contact outside of consulting hours is to protect the client and the counselor. Not everyone can maintain the same state of mind during a non-consulting period, so they may ignore you.

The counselor is unable to deal with the range of emotional reactions you are experiencing at this time. This is not a matter of his ability, but is caused by objective conditions.

But do you want to avoid all personal contact? How personal should it be?

I think it depends on what the client needs and who they are. Of course, it also depends on what the counselor is comfortable with.

Private contact can be roughly divided into the following categories:

1. Talking about the consultation time

As a general rule, scheduled consultation times are set, but it's likely that both parties will face unexpected challenges along the way. In such cases, it's essential to have a private channel for communication.

The counselor will say it won't involve any issues that violate the principles. That's just part of the job.

2. Share your counseling issues and emotions in a timely manner.

From my visitor's perspective, I don't think you need to be too hard on yourself. You can say whatever you want outside of consultation hours without telling the counselor. As long as mutual respect is guaranteed, it's fine to send it all in one text.

Will the counselor respond? No matter what they say, they just need to stay calm.

In terms of dealing with emotional issues during a counseling session, I think it's important to remember that if the counselor has the energy,

A reply like, "I saw your message. Let's talk about it next time we meet," is fine. There's nothing wrong with that.

This is also about setting boundaries between the two of you.

3. Rambling

After all, a counseling relationship is not like any other relationship in life. It's a special one. Both the client and the counselor always talk about everyday things in their private time.

I even think it's inappropriate for the consultant to share problems from her own life with the client! If this is the case, you might want to consider ending the relationship.

Back to your question:

I'm still on the fence about whether I should trust them, but I'm enjoying the process.

To be a counselor, you've got to have empathy. People who have empathy and feel like they're always being seen will be happy and always willing to talk to others. Here's what you should consider when deciding whether or not to trust someone.

(1) After you shared your concerns with the consultant, how did he respond? Did he tackle the issue head-on, avoid it, or ask you questions?

(2) How did you feel during the consultation? Did you feel like the consultant was on your side and that you could talk openly, or was it just so-so?

(3) The consultant's professional background. Just because someone looks impressive on paper doesn't mean they're actually good at what they do.

So, you should consider the background of this matter in the context of your feelings.

I also have some concerns about the communication medium. For me, it might be more appropriate to use a different medium, such as phone or text messages, including WeChat.

I'd feel more comfortable using a phone or text for urgent matters and a consulting app or email for other things.

It also depends on how you define "texting."

It's good to be aware of these rules and regulations. There's still a lot of room for improvement in the development of psychological counseling in China. Various safeguards and norms need to be improved.

The best thing you can do is not let your doubts fester. The sooner you know how the counselor is going to respond, the better.

You said in your first sentence that you spoke to several counselors. I'm not sure if you did it all at once.

There's no need to do it all at once. If there's a sequence, you might have some experience in ending a relationship. Then, you'll probably find a way to resolve the problem.

If you have doubts, bring them up and see what the other person says. If you're comfortable with it, continue. If not, it's probably best to move on.

Just my two cents.

From another perspective, if you contact a counselor and they don't respond, it could lead to a new problem. For example, you may think, "He didn't respond to me, does that mean he doesn't want to talk to me, does he feel that I'm annoying?" These kinds of psychological barriers can hinder counseling.

It is not only counselors who will respond in this way. Any friend will do so, either out of politeness or because they do not want others to misunderstand and think they no longer wish to communicate.

Individuals in general will respond in a similar manner, and counselors are no exception. They will respond out of fear of being misunderstood or out of politeness.

It is therefore understandable that this is a normal human reaction, as well as a way of establishing a better relationship.

From my perspective, your description indicated that you consulted with multiple counselors during this period. I am uncertain as to whether you changed counselors due to a lack of comfort or if you were communicating with multiple counselors simultaneously.

If you are seeking a single point of contact, I would advise establishing a doctor-patient relationship with one counselor. It is not uncommon for different counselors to offer conflicting advice, so it is important to have one consistent source of guidance.

Furthermore, establishing a relationship may not be the most convenient option.

If the latter is the case, I would advise that, should you be unable to find a suitable counselor, you collect information on the methods and theories espoused by different schools of counselors and choose a counselor whose approach aligns with your own situation.