It feels like it's bitter no matter what, and you don't have the motivation to work hard?

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

Life is full of hardships, difficulties, darkness, and gloom. The OP is currently experiencing these unfriendly experiences. However, we can also find light and hope in our lives, apart from the darkness and gloom.

The third-year thesis had to be rewritten within a month. It's understandable that this would have a significant impact and pressure on the subject. On top of that, there was the provincial exam that was coming up, which the subject was already feeling scared about and couldn't muster the energy to work hard for. It's normal for the subject to be moved to tears by all these things happening together and feeling that life was very difficult. We need to think of ways to deal with the predicament at hand.

We must address the present situation and identify the underlying issues. The most pressing concern is the rewrite of the thesis. It's evident that the questioner is struggling to meet the deadline and is experiencing a significant delay in thesis writing. Let's examine the reasons behind this delay. What are the underlying concerns and what are you avoiding?

The thesis is in a hurry. This is indeed a tricky problem. It's clear that your supervisor is concerned about your thesis, but you seem to be deliberately procrastinating. You're trying to prove the prediction that "you cannot complete the thesis." What impact or "benefits" will it have on you if you cannot complete the thesis? Now, share with your supervisor the problems and concerns you are currently facing. Listen to your supervisor's advice, which will bring you some inspiration.

If you can't pass the national exam, you need to keep working hard for another job. Working hard is the path to financial independence, which is the key to breaking free from the shackles of your original family. It's clear that the questioner has placed too many expectations on the national exam and work. If you can't accomplish all this, it may mean that you can't break free from the shackles of your original family and escape the suffering.

You are already taking action, so you must see this and face it.

There is no absolute and inevitable correlation between economic independence and the original family. Without economic independence, we will indeed be influenced by the original family, but we can choose to accept or not accept this influence. Why do you only see pain in life?

You believe that only the "hardworking" self has the right to choose one's own life and control one's own destiny. You think that not working hard means accepting fate and being swept along by life to an unknown and painful place. But the reality is that without hard work, we can still live well, without hard work, we can still live out ourselves, and we can escape the influence of our original family on us. The starting point of all this is whether you are willing to accept the "not working hard" self.

If you're facing problems with your family of origin and your current situation and feel like I'm not for you, I suggest you seek help from a counselor. If you're not willing to do that, take it easy on yourself! Loosen the reins, regain some energy, and we'll make the arrangements.

Go do what you want to do! Be kind to yourself. You can and will complete your thesis.

It appears that a considerable number of individuals pursue postgraduate entrance examinations with the assumption that they are a worthwhile endeavor. This phenomenon contributes to the high number of applicants each year. However, only those who have successfully completed the examination are aware of the numerous challenges associated with being a postgraduate student. You have already experienced the difficulties that accompany this role.

Graduate students are confronted with a number of challenges that are more complex than those encountered by undergraduates. At this time, you are experiencing difficulties with examinations, a lack of motivation, some procrastination, and issues related to your thesis.

It would be advisable to secure a stable position by the third year of graduate school. It is likely that there will be further examinations, as successful completion of certain of these can gain entry to specific units.

One can attain a stable position and advance in the social hierarchy. The impact of one's family of origin on an individual is profound. If both parents are farmers, it is probable that the child will not belong to a high social class. This is a form of destiny shaped by class. However, what can alter one's destiny?

It is solely through your academic qualifications and your knowledge and skills that you can attempt to alter the course of your destiny.

Graduating from postgraduate studies will elevate your level of education and, subsequently, your average salary when entering the workforce. This will afford you a greater ability to cross your class. Given your diagnosis of depression and the presence of serious procrastination, it is possible that this procrastination is not hedonistic in nature, but rather an anxious one.

Given the numerous tasks you have at hand, including your thesis, various examinations such as the provincial exam, and those for other positions, it is understandable that you may experience elevated anxiety. This can lead to a sense of futility and potentially trigger extreme thoughts. These thoughts bear resemblance to the symptoms of depression you previously confirmed. It is therefore crucial for you to ascertain your genuine aspirations at this juncture.

Do not allow yourself to neglect your origins as a result of a single instance of distress. Even if you are unable to extricate yourself from your current situation, should you therefore abandon your efforts? You must persevere, for to abandon one's life is to do it a grave disservice.

It would be a mistake to abandon one's efforts at this late stage. Regardless of the circumstances, it is still worthwhile to persevere in order to complete one's studies, as the resulting qualification will undoubtedly be beneficial.

Even if I am unable to secure gainful employment upon graduation, I will at least have attained a higher level of expertise than my peers, which is a form of success in itself. I must identify a positive aspect to maintain my motivation.

It is imperative to avoid abandoning the task at hand before completion. Instead, it is beneficial to acknowledge the numerous achievements already attained.

In comparison to other individuals, you are exceptionally proficient. It is advisable to consider seeking psychological counseling, which can facilitate the identification of an appropriate entry point for you in professional psychological counseling. This can assist you in confronting life, academic, and occupational challenges in a more constructive and incremental manner.

Please clarify the meaning of ZQ.

It seems like a lot of work with no reward, and there's no motivation to put in the effort?

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I'm in my third year of graduate school, and I have a problem with my depression-again-and-again-what-should-i-do-29317.html" target="_blank">thesis that I have to rewrite within a month. I think my advisor and I are both responsible for rewriting it, but I'll definitely have to bear the consequences myself.

After being diagnosed with depression last year, I found myself procrastinating more than usual. I took a long break, and my condition improved significantly. Recently, however, I've been struggling to find the motivation to work hard. My thesis is coming up, and as soon as it's finished, I have to start preparing for the provincial exam. If I don't pass, I'll have to keep studying for other jobs. I'll keep taking exams until I find a job.

After years of exam-oriented education, coupled with the postgraduate entrance exam and judicial exam, I've developed a deep fear of exams and find it difficult to work hard. My thesis is also at risk of not being completed (my supervisor is concerned that I will procrastinate, so she checks my progress once a week, which causes me to procrastinate every week). However, if I don't work hard and become financially independent, I'll never be able to cut ties with my family of origin, which would cause me long-term pain.

Lately, I've been feeling so tired of life that I just want to die without pain. I've experienced this exhaustion, and there are millions of other exhausting things waiting for me. I also have things I want to do and things I like to eat, but none of this is enough to motivate me to work hard just to survive.

I've had enough. In this society, if you don't put in the hard work, you'll face other challenges. It's all suffering, and it's pointless.

Hello, question asker! I'm just an old skinny donkey.

I think the questioner is currently in this state because it feels like a task that has to be completed, rather than something they want to do.

From what the questioner has said, it seems that the current task may not be getting the positive feedback it deserves. There doesn't seem to be much love or incentive involved. In this situation, it's as if you're just going through the motions, which is even more exhausting.

I know it's not the most appropriate thing to mention, but I was infected with the new crown a while ago. I read that the new crown can easily cause myocarditis. As it happened, I had trouble breathing for a couple of days.

After reading it, I felt my chest pain getting worse and my breathing getting more rapid. I went to the hospital that same day for another examination, but the results showed that I was normal.

I'd like to suggest that our mental suggestions have a significant impact on the results we achieve. If you focus on positive suggestions, you're more likely to get positive results.

If you tell yourself you can't do something, you probably won't be able to.

It would be more helpful for the questioner to take a closer look at their current situation to gain a better understanding of themselves.

First, decide if you want to finish this paper. If you decide it's important and you have to get it done, I suggest you give yourself a positive mental cue so you'll focus more on solutions and goal decomposition.

I once got all the self-study subjects done in a year and a half because I knew I had to. So I put together a detailed breakdown plan and implementation strategy.

Second, set a goal for the task at hand and don't get bogged down in long-term pressures outside the goal. For example, the questioner mentioned the consequences of failing the exam after the thesis and the pressure of not being able to break away from the original family. This is a bit like the story I've read about the horse carrying cotton across the river. The weight of the cotton is only on the horse's back, but when the cotton touches the water in the river, it becomes heavier and heavier, until it crushes the horse. It's better to try to make the horse carry salt across the river. Salt dissolves in water and becomes lighter and lighter.

Third: Don't let your anxiety and stress get out of control. The things the questioner mentioned are all a series of bad chain reactions. I suggest you refer to the strategy of running a marathon. Focusing on just one thing at a time, as Huawei's Ren Zhengfei said, "concentrating your efforts on one thing," can lead to better results.

Before the questioner can "cut" ties with their original family, they can break down their own stage goals and gradually advance.

Fourth: Don't put things off. Ask yourself, are you okay with the result of putting things off?

If I start now, even if I don't do it perfectly, will the result be worse than if I put it off until the last minute? It's a bit like cleaning. If you don't want to clean every day, you'll end up having to spend more energy cleaning for a month or two.

On the other hand, it's easier for people who work day in and day out.

Fifth: The questioner is at a much higher academic level than many people. Even if he fails the exam, a bachelor's degree is not that difficult to find a job with. He doesn't need to put too much pressure on himself. As long as he looks hard and works hard, he will not say that he cannot achieve financial independence.

Sixth: I suggest that the questioner reconcile with himself, accept his current situation, and only by forgiving himself for the emotional lows of the stage can he more quickly regain his original energy after the lows.

Sixth: Try to get along with your family of origin. If your parents didn't love you, they wouldn't have spent so much money on your education up to graduate school.

It'd be a good idea to focus on the things they love (the action) and ignore the things they don't love (language and emotions). When you have love in your heart, you can see the sunshine.

7th: Your expertise doesn't necessarily reflect your ability to love what you do. You're great at studying for exams, but you don't necessarily love it.

In addition to your studies and exams, I suggest you consider your strengths and work hard at them. Only love can go all out, and only love can ignore the bitterness of the process and chase after the final result.

Just my two cents!

Hello, dear baby. I hug you. I can see that you are under a lot of pressure and anxiety, and you have tried to adjust. You have a very positive attitude, and you will get through this.

Your experience is similar to that of a visitor who is forced to do a job he doesn't like while also trying to find a more suitable job by studying. In the meantime, he has ended one job after another that he didn't like, and as a result, he keeps changing jobs because he doesn't know what the most suitable job for him is.

❀Your question made me think about my own experience. Everyone says that postgraduate studies and civil service are good, but you have to ask yourself: is it really what you want?

You're preparing to revise your thesis, thinking about the provincial exam, becoming financially independent, and leaving your family of origin. You're anxious, unable to focus or set priorities. You feel overwhelmed by the tasks at hand and the pressure. You need to relieve stress. Start with the three major systems:

A Cognitive System: Know what you want, what you like, what you are willing to invest in, and pursue it. Don't regret failing if you've done your best. It's more worthwhile for an ordinary person to be able to support themselves and be happy than to be worth millions but not happy. Don't set the bar too high for yourself; happiness is the meaning of life.

B. Social support system: Spend time with friends and family, talk about your worries, relax together. This will make you feel like you're not alone and fighting this battle alone, and it's very effective!

Your immune system needs you to go to bed early and get up early, get some sun, exercise more, listen to music, and eat delicious and nutritious food. This will increase your serotonin and dopamine, and fill you with energy and happiness.

You said you were diagnosed with depression. This is more common in families where parents are overly demanding and suppress their children. Children in such families do not feel loved and secure, and they withdraw. They keep everything inside, become pessimistic, and lack the strength to move on. If you need it, you can find a professional counselor to do family therapy or talk to them. This will help with your depression, reduce feelings of exhaustion and powerlessness, and you will also understand your parents and reconcile with your family of origin. You have already grown up and are already capable of loving yourself. With professional help, you can come out of your own. Read the book "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," which is very healing and practical.

The young you still have a lot of wonderful and warm love waiting for you to discover. Setbacks and difficulties are the norm. Use the right approach, and you will find the happiness you want!

The world and I love you. Take care.

You and I are in a pretty similar spot, so I'd like to try to share my experience with you.

I think that when the reality of the situation is very poor and you're going through a psychological crisis, it's better to "pass the buck" the responsibility to someone else for a while. This is not to blame anyone, but a way of adjusting your mindset that allows you to evaluate yourself more objectively and treat yourself and others better. For example, you're an adult graduate student, but you still need to be nurtured, trained, and supervised to ensure that you grow according to plan. The school and mentor should be responsible for you. From another perspective, everyone around you is responsible for your current situation, but you're still trying to change this situation. Your efforts and control over your life have surpassed many people. Many ordinary people in your position may not be able to do better.

I don't think procrastination is always a bad thing. I feel sorry for my mentor because of uncontrollable procrastination, and I'm ashamed of myself. Fortunately, my mentor is very good to me and never thinks that the problem is purely caused by my procrastination. This helps me to overcome my emotions and look at the problem with common sense. I'm not sure what emotions you feel about your procrastination, but habits that are difficult to change must have some kind of deep-rooted reason. It's not something you caused alone.

Furthermore, I believe that procrastination can be a meaningful part of life. Many philosophers believe that life has no inherent meaning and that we need to give it meaning. I believe that many people have felt that the pain of life has become overwhelming. If they choose to give up and stop living, there is nothing wrong with that. As Goethe said, there is a limit to the amount of suffering and joy that one person can bear.

On the other hand, there are also many people who will procrastinate. Life is already bad enough, and I have no hope for it. But since I have nothing to lose, what's the harm in waiting and seeing? Perhaps when you feel that life is unbearable, you might as well adopt an attitude of betting slowly. The chips are always in your hands, and you can choose to bet on either side at any time. But why not delay and see? Perhaps the next moment will bring a new situation that will change your choice.

Everyone has their moments. Even the strongest person will have their weaknesses. Confidence isn't a permanent solution, but procrastination is the last straw.

Hello, question asker.

From your description, I can sense your inner anxiety, helplessness, and confusion. I want to offer you a warm hug to help you feel supported.

I believe you are already very good, as I can relate to your situation. However, I am only a junior college student, so I may not fully understand your challenges.

At the same time, you might consider looking for ways to find a solution to the problem, recognizing that there is a need for change.

You mentioned that you had some difficulties passing your postgraduate thesis and that you experienced some challenges last year. After taking a break from studying, you were able to adjust to your studies again. This is a great step forward. Could you please share how you managed to do it?

You mentioned that the recent exams have left you feeling a lack of motivation and anxiety. You're hoping to make changes to yourself and your current situation by passing the exams and moving away from your family of origin, but you're experiencing some internal conflict that's preventing you from taking action. You're feeling quite anxious. Is that correct?

I want to give you a warm hug. I know these pressures have caused you to feel these negative emotions, but I believe they are only temporary. I would like to ask you to be aware of when you feel more comfortable. When you feel comfortable inside, what do you do?

It might be helpful to consider that we have all fallen into a cycle of internal depletion. We may want to change our connection with our biological family through hard work and exams, and we may want to be reborn. However, in the process, we might ignore our own feelings. We may not be very good at caring for our hearts, which could result in feeling these anxious emotions. Do you agree with what I've said?

I'm not sure of the specifics of your situation, but I'd like to offer a few suggestions based on my understanding of your description. I hope that together we can find a way to overcome this lack of motivation and gain the motivation to act soon.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider adjusting your mindset.

It might be helpful to consider that our inner motivation can be affected by our mentality. It's possible that we may not feel motivated to do anything or find anything we like, which could be related to our mindset. Replacing a negative mentality with a positive one might help to boost our inner motivation. Listening to some positive meditation in the morning and before going to bed at night could be a way to cheer ourselves up and remind ourselves of our achievements, efforts, goals, and that things will improve with time. Gradually, this could lead to a different feeling inside.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to learn how to release negative emotions.

I believe that we have similar emotional experiences, and as a result, I can empathize with the self-blame, remorse, anxiety, and other negative emotions that you are currently experiencing. These negative emotions can act as a barrier, preventing us from taking action and hindering our ability to remain calm. I believe that the best way to overcome this challenge is to release these negative emotions. Only when we do so will our hearts be calm and we will be brave enough to face and solve problems.

You might find it helpful to talk to someone, keep a diary, sing and shout, or let off steam through exercise such as running. Many people find that exercise is a great way to relieve anxiety.

Perhaps you could try to find the excitement of learning.

Reading your description, I was reminded of my own experience. I remember when my brother was preparing for the judicial examination, he said that he was especially excited when he saw the books and was fully engaged in his studies. He said that I also studied just by watching, but it was all useless work in his opinion. I can only find real excitement and the joy of learning in books. In this way, learning can be twice as effective.

If I may make a suggestion, it might be helpful for you to try to recall a time when you were in a more optimal learning state. Try to recall that state and the feelings you had at the time, and then try to apply those feelings to your current learning situation. You may find this approach beneficial.

Perhaps it would be helpful to learn to trust yourself.

You mentioned your family of origin briefly in your description, and I could sense the impact it has had on you. It's understandable why you feel the need to escape. However, I want to gently suggest that now that you're grown up, you have the strength to protect yourself. You can establish healthy boundaries to ensure your own happiness and success. When you believe in your ability to do so, you'll find the motivation to take action. What are your thoughts on this?

Perhaps it would be helpful to try doing more and thinking less. With time and patience, you may find that you are able to achieve your goals.

Many of us face a similar challenge: when our hearts are trapped, we tend to seek answers and breakthroughs externally. However, it's important to recognize that all the answers lie within us. To achieve this, it's essential to shift our focus from negative thoughts and fears to the process itself. By doing so, we can gain a sense of accomplishment and gradually work towards achieving our goals.

Perhaps we could try thinking less and doing more, focusing on the process of doing, which might help us gain a sense of accomplishment and find the excitement of learning. Who knows, the rest might just accumulate little by little, day by day, and one day we might even give ourselves a pleasant surprise.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to seek help from a professional counselor.

It is not uncommon to know a great many principles but to find it challenging to put them into practice. I can relate to this. When we feel the need for change, it can be helpful to seek the support of professional counselors. They can use their expertise to explore the deeper issues in our subconscious, creating a safe and inclusive environment where we can adjust our perceptions and gain the strength to grow and motivate ourselves.

If I might humbly offer my perspective, I believe that all of our challenges can ultimately serve as valuable resources for our growth and evolution. As long as we persevere in our pursuit of understanding,

Life has the power to heal those who are willing to embrace it. When you can be aware of this and take the initiative to come here to find a breakthrough and release the uncomfortable emotions in your heart, you have already made a difference. The rest depends on our willpower.

Everything is connected to willpower. If we want to change, we have to encourage ourselves to do it and develop good habits. Success requires hard work. Let's work together!

Good morning. I extend my best wishes to you in the form of a warm hug from afar.

From your description, I can ascertain your profound inner need to be understood, affirmed, recognized, encouraged, and supported.

From your description, it is evident that your repeated "self-abusive" actions are driven by a desire to disengage emotionally from your family of origin. Rather than an aspiration to connect and grow, these actions seem to be driven by a need to distance yourself from your family of origin.

Regardless of your personal growth and achievements, the imprint of your original family remains a significant factor in your life. This imprint may present unique challenges, but it also offers the potential for love and support, which are essential for personal development. Without the care, support, and love of parents during early years, individuals cannot reach their full potential. Therefore, it is crucial to accept the impact of your original family and affirm the love and support you received from them.

It is only by accepting the pain and trauma experienced in one's original family that one can avoid perpetuating the cycle of self-abuse that maintains a state of pain, despite clear physical signals. By ignoring these signals and continuing to engage in compulsive repetition, one remains loyal to the pain.

As an alternative, you may wish to consider recalling the images of more love and support from your family as you grew up. These can be used to replace the parts that cause you pain. When you feel more love, you will have the foundation, confidence, and courage to better face and manage your current life, even in difficult situations and setbacks. You will also discover that you have the resources and strength to do so.

At this juncture, your motivation and willingness to take action will also evolve. You will recognize that your desire to improve yourself is driven by the need to treat yourself with kindness and respect, given the positive experiences you have had in the past. This realization will reinforce your commitment to self-care and the importance of treating yourself with care and consideration.

Please provide your thoughts on this matter.

Therefore, the foundation of change is acceptance. Accept the trauma, but also affirm the love and support you received from your family of origin and parents.

It is important to recognize that your parents did not intentionally hurt you. They may have experienced similar challenges in their own upbringing, which may have influenced their parenting style.

Additionally, maintaining an emotional diary can be beneficial. This involves recording the emotional pain caused by one's family of origin in written form. This process can assist in better understanding, perceiving, and experiencing these emotions. It can also help identify underlying needs and respond to oneself in a more appropriate and timely manner. For instance, it may be helpful to set aside time to express one's feelings and needs to one's parents in a sincere and courageous manner. This could also include expressing one's deep love for them.

If verbalizing your typical emotional distress to your parents is challenging, you may consider composing a written correspondence. This letter should candidly convey the pain you have endured at their hands since childhood. It should also courageously express your displeasure with their words and actions, as well as the culpability you feel for accepting their unwavering affection and backing. In this letter, you should explicitly convey your affection for your parents and your desire to be treated differently. This approach does not necessitate forgiving your parents for the pain they have caused you. Instead, it allows you to choose a method that aligns with your preferences for better coping with the past and attempting to reconcile with your inner self.

Our family of origin is the foundation of our identity, and it is something that none of us can choose or decide. We can never sever our connection to our family of origin. Therefore, it is essential to focus on nurturing and empowering ourselves through positive memories and experiences, rather than allowing past hurts to hinder our progress. By taking control of this aspect of our lives, we can create a more fulfilling and productive future.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this matter.

I suggest you read the following texts: "Original Family," "The Bond of Parents," "Overcoming the Mountain in Your Heart," and "Light Healing."

I hope you will have the opportunity to live your life to the fullest, surrounded by love and support.