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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, original poster. It's like seeing someone in person when you read their words. I can feel your reluctance to let go of this relationship and your attachment to it. Because you missed out, you feel a sense of regret. Everyone feels this way, and everyone has something in their life that they feel particularly sorry about. I'll now describe my point of view.
I hope this is helpful.
There's a psychological concept called the sunk cost effect. It basically means that when you've invested a lot in a relationship but don't want to back out, you're addicted to it. You know the relationship isn't good, but you're still hooked and can't get out. You said you loved and liked each other, but you were in different places in time, which led to you missing each other and separating.
Does this mean you've shared a lot of great experiences in this relationship?
You also said you met a great guy, but when you fall in love, there's a halo effect. When you like someone, you'll slowly see all their good points and ignore their bad points. In fact, they might not be as good as you think. Then you can slowly discover their shortcomings instead of always affirming their good points. Then you'll feel they're not worth being so good to.
How can we move on from the past? First, try to accept your current feelings of fondness and love for him. Don't reject them. In psychology, there's a concept called the "white bear effect." It's when you say, "Don't think about the white bear."
But you don't want to forget the polar bear. The idea is to describe the outline of the polar bear in a way that makes you refuse to think about it, even though you already think about it!
When you allow these emotions to exist, you can indulge in them, but you just feel it. At the same time, you can try to distract yourself by doing something you like, such as painting, or something that requires a high degree of concentration. When you encounter his questions, you can respond to him as a friend or classmate, rather than saying no.
You don't have to deny your feelings for him right away. The more you dwell on them, the worse it will feel. When you say that he is having a birthday, you can try to wish him a happy birthday as you would anyone else. This is a normal feeling.
You can gradually move away from him over time, which will help you to gradually move on from this feeling.
I wish you the best of luck!
I just wanted to say that I love you and the world loves you too!
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I can totally relate to feeling torn between what my heart wants and what's right. It's hard to see someone you care about move on, but I guess it's time to focus on healing myself and finding peace within. Maybe setting boundaries will help me gain control over my feelings and allow me to move forward.
It's so tough when you still have feelings for someone who's no longer available. I think it's important to acknowledge those emotions without acting on them. Perhaps engaging in activities that bring joy or seeking support from friends could be a step towards moving on and letting go of the past.
Every time I think about him, it feels like a part of me is still stuck in the past. I know I need to let go, but it's easier said than done. Maybe this is a sign that I should invest more in selfgrowth and personal development. By focusing on becoming the best version of myself, I might find the strength to finally move on.
The fact that we're still in touch makes it even harder to let go. I've been thinking about how to handle this situation better. Maybe I should consider cutting off contact again, but this time with a clear plan and support system in place. It won't be easy, but it could be necessary for my emotional wellbeing.
It's heartbreaking to see him with someone else, especially when I still feel so much for him. I wonder if I should express my feelings one last time, just to close this chapter of my life. But then I remind myself that it's not fair to him or his girlfriend. Instead, maybe I should channel my energy into something positive, like a new hobby or travel.