My child is so wild that even her grandmother has been beaten. Is the child's wildness innate?

It is not possible to definitively rule out the possibility that human nature is inherently evil. Many diseases and hyperactivity are actually closely related to biological genes. It is possible to observe the development of a child from the marriage examination report, through to the age of 0, to 1 year old, 2 years old, 3 years old, 4 years old, and how they were raised.

It is important to consider whether there were any notable differences in your experience of birth. Did you have a difficult time adjusting to life outside the womb, evidenced by frequent crying? It is crucial to acknowledge and address this aspect of your development. It is also important to recognize that this child has been observed engaging in aggressive behavior, including hitting her grandmother. This raises the question of where she may have learned such actions.

Children are born imitators. It is therefore unlikely that a child who has never seen someone being beaten will behave in such a way. The situation of a child beating an elder must be explored in relation to the child's individual behaviour.

The child in question is currently five years of age and is on the cusp of starting kindergarten. However, she still requires her mother-in-law to feed her and displays a proclivity for destructive behaviour, including smashing and throwing objects and being physically aggressive with adults. It is also evident that adults do not take her seriously, which is a consequence of the fact that parenting requires patience and education.

It is also imperative that the caregiver possess a caring disposition. In the absence of such a disposition, the child's emotional development will be significantly hindered. The manner in which adults educate children has long been a challenging issue. It is, therefore, essential that adults within the family unit engage in a positive discourse to ascertain the efficacy of positive discipline in facilitating the child's growth and development. It is recommended that parents and elders peruse the following texts: "The Awakening of Parents," "Teaching Optimistic Children," and "Parenting through Play." Best wishes for success.

Please clarify the question.

Hello, question asker!

I'm Enoch, the respondent. From the questioner's description, I can see that they're eager to learn more about their child's recent personality shift. They're curious to know if this is just their child's innate personality, or if it was shaped by the environment. They're also keen to understand if it's still not too late to start disciplining their child. And they're interested in learning more about their child's grandfather's use of violence to stop their child's anger. They're excited to find a scientific method and answer.

The wonderful field of psychology has identified two key aspects that make up a person's personality: temperament and character. As we grow and develop, our personalities also evolve and flourish. We gradually become healthier and more adaptable individuals, ready to thrive in our social environments. Children are incredibly adaptable, and they showcase different characteristics at different ages. With patience and guidance, we can support them in developing a fantastic personality!

Now, let's dive in and explore the reasons behind this child's fascinating behavior!

1. It's truly amazing how much of each person's personality is influenced by their innate temperament!

Psychology has a fascinating way of dividing people's innate temperaments into four types: sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, and melancholic. A sanguine person is flexible and adept at adapting to changing situations when dealing with problems. A phlegmatic person is more rigid and lacks flexibility when dealing with problems, but they are emotionally stable. A choleric person is impulsive and irritable when dealing with problems and tends to take out their aggression on others. A melancholic person tends to be pessimistic when dealing with problems and is dissatisfied with and self-critical of themselves. Let's dive into the questioner's description of their child. It's clear that the child has a tendency to hit his grandmother and throw things at his grandfather when they try to stop him from watching TV. This displays a certain degree of aggression, which suggests that the child's temperament may be choleric. Additionally, he has been hit. While the questioner didn't specify who hit him, it's evident from the description that the child's grandfather or grandmother, more likely the grandfather, also displays impulsiveness and aggression when dealing with problems.

Since temperament is also inherited, it can be inferred that the child of the questioner may indeed be born with a choleric temperament, and in interpersonal relationships will show the characteristics of being impulsive, irritable, and aggressive towards others.

2. The influence of the early family environment

From the questioner's description, it's clear that the child has a strong personality and is confident in expressing his needs. This shows that the grandmother has been a supportive and encouraging presence in the child's life, which is why he is so assertive with her. At the same time, the child's grandfather has been a positive influence by teaching him how to problem-solve through a firm but fair approach. Coupled with the child's own spirited and enthusiastic temperament, he has developed a confident and assertive approach with the grandmother, while being respectful of the grandfather. He expresses his emotions through creative and imaginative ways, such as throwing things.

3. Signs of developmental delay in early childhood It's so important to be aware of the signs of developmental delay in early childhood. By understanding these signs, we can support our children in reaching their full potential!

The eight-stage theory of personality development by the famous developmental psychologist Erik Erikson offers fascinating insights into how children develop. During the late infancy period of 1.5-3 years old, children gain a sense of autonomy, overcome feelings of shame, and form the quality of will. During early childhood, 3-6 years old, children gain a sense of initiative, overcome feelings of guilt, and form the quality of purpose. This means that before the age of 3, children tend to do what they want without restraint according to their own wishes, without considering the feelings of others and the consequences it brings to themselves. This is the behavior exhibited by the child in question. However, during the age of 3-6, children will consider the feelings of others and the impact the surrounding environment may have on themselves, and will use more tactful and accepted methods to meet their own needs. This is an exciting time of growth and development! The child in question is now 5 years old and has not shown the psychological characteristics that should be expected at this age. This may indicate that the child's psychological development may be relatively slow. However, with the right guidance and support, there is every reason to believe that the child will continue to develop and flourish!

Based on the above situation, we are thrilled to provide the following suggestions for the questioner, which we hope will be helpful!

1. Send your child to a standard kindergarten to receive a scientific education and training—it's the perfect place for them!

The current time for children to start school is a standard time derived from the continuous summarization of experience and the enrichment of theory by many successful educators. This means that children should enter kindergarten at the age of 3 for scientific education and training—an amazing opportunity! Teachers will provide standardized education to children according to their age characteristics at this stage, so that their development will be more in line with growth characteristics and social norms, and their physical and mental development will not lag behind. Therefore, it is suggested that the questioner send the child to a standardized kindergarten, which is more conducive to the child's healthy growth—a great choice!

2. Be patient and reasonable when guiding the child in the family environment.

Since psychology is not widely understood in many fields, most people respond to their environment and deal with problems according to their natural temperament and the character they have formed through their own experiences in the social environment. Many adults sometimes have difficulty solving their own problems, so they also lack the correct and reasonable way to guide their children. This is why the child's grandmother tolerates the child hitting herself whenever she feels like it, while the child's grandfather beats the child. Perhaps the pattern of their long-term relationship is that the grandmother is in a weak position and the grandfather is in a strong position, so they project this pattern onto the child. Therefore, if conditions permit, it is recommended that the questioner take care of the child themselves, because the child is relatively impulsive and violent. It is recommended that the questioner, in their interactions with the child, try to empathize with the child's emotions when the child is impulsive, help the child calm down, and then teach the child to use a restrained and rational approach to deal with problems. This will slowly make up for the lack of natural temperament in the acquired environment, so that the child's personality becomes more complete.

Hello! A mother who is concerned about her child's "wild nature" gives you, who are burdened with sweetness, a hug!

[Doubts about parenting]

From your title and content, I see three points.

1. Express your concerns about your child's violent and short-tempered behavior in their daily lives. You want to find the reasons and make changes.

2. There are two possible explanations for this behavior: either it is innate, or it is caused by the way the adults reflected on their own upbringing, i.e. by "indifference or permissiveness."

3. You're unsure about disciplining your child. They're still young, so should adults discipline them? Adults are responsible for why children behave this way, but it's not acceptable for them to continue behaving this way. What should you do?

[Analysis of parenting]

From the perspective of an educator and psychologist, I am going to offer some suggestions to address your concerns.

1. This kind of behavior in children, hitting, throwing things, losing their temper, etc., is not acceptable. It is not good for anyone, whether you define it as "wild" or something else. As a mother, you definitely don't want him to become like this, so discipline is necessary.

The earlier you start, the better. It may take three days to cultivate a good habit, but it takes three years to correct a bad habit. The saying is a bit exaggerated, but it's true.

Raising children is a big subject, and it's important to get it right.

2. I need to know what the underlying issue is. What caused this behavior?

Once we understand these factors, we can prescribe the right remedy. Your description and inference are partially accurate. A child's temperament type is more innate, but character is mostly acquired.

Your child is likely one of those with particularly high energy levels and a quick temper. The fact that he still needs to be fed at the age of five shows that the family is over-caring for him. This means you may be a bit too indulgent, which can easily lead to neglect.

Some of his behavior is undoubtedly learned by imitating family members.

The result is that a self-sufficient being with a lot of energy is taken care of too well by its parents, and everything it has to learn and do for itself is done for it by others. It doesn't have the chance to use and experience the satisfaction of "earning its own living." If that person were you, you'd do things differently.

People, especially children, are not just children who are content with food and clothing. They are complete beings with high demands for spiritual fulfillment—and we must meet those demands.

3. You must guide children with plenty of energy and give them the opportunity to develop and use their abilities. Otherwise, you will have difficulty managing them as they grow older.

The fact is, the more challenging a child is to manage, the greater the potential for greatness if they are properly educated. There are two sides to every story.

[Parenting direction]

Based on your description and my personal understanding, the above analysis is largely accurate. To make changes, we can start by:

1. Give your child the opportunity to do things on his own to develop his manual skills and independence. Five-year-olds have already developed some "bad" habits of relying on and bossing their families around, but you can change this. Do it little by little.

Observe what he does himself. If he takes off his socks today, you can express approval and expand on it. Adults who are difficult to change are especially prominent. They want to find a sense of value through taking care of children. Nannies and the elderly are particularly prominent in this regard. They have a sense of value, but they see the child as a "waste."

2. Purify the home environment and avoid losing your temper in front of your child, throwing things, and other such behaviors. Children are masters of imitating and learning, and they learn not by listening but by observing.

Actions speak louder than words when it comes to children's education. Adults must take the first step to effect change.

3. Discourage bad habits and cultivate good habits and interests. If your child throws a tantrum and smashes things, do not pay too much attention and do not try to handle the situation calmly.

Once his emotions have stabilized, tell him the correct way to handle the situation, what to do, and how to express it. Make sure he understands what mom will do. (To be effective, you must practice what you preach, but you can start with the little things and what you can do as a parent.)

Pay attention to and express approval of his good behavior, and create conditions to promote development. Children like to create and express themselves. Help them discover and work hard at their hobbies to gain real satisfaction.

This is something that comes from his own efforts, not something that can be easily obtained through cheap and exaggerated praise from adults.

P.S. It is essential that family members agree on the major principles if they are to succeed in educating a child.

I am the fountain of knowledge, and I will make sure you become a mother who is proud of what you do for your children!

Dear questioner, I am confident that my reply will be of assistance to you.

It is unclear from the text whether the child is yours or someone else's, and there is no detailed description. In the process of raising children, parents bear a great deal of responsibility. Every child is like a blank piece of paper. The child in question seems to be a left-behind child. Do his parents work outside the home?

The elderly must not take over the role of raising the child without paying attention to the child's inner feelings.

The child feels abandoned and has anger inside.

Elderly people raising children has many disadvantages. It is a fact that children only treat the elderly in this way if they are dissatisfied with them.

The child feels abandoned and is angry with their parents.

Parents are the primary guardians of their children and must take responsibility.

Parents are the primary guardians and bear an inescapable responsibility when raising children. You can pursue your career, but your child must be your primary concern.

Video chat with your child often to establish an emotional connection and give them a sense of security. This will stop bad behavior.

Parents must realize that they are still children themselves and do not reflect on their own actions.

Many parents are struggling to make ends meet, feeling anxious and worried about the future. If they can't even take care of themselves, how can they possibly raise the next generation?

They even believe they have given birth to such a child and never consider their own behavior.

It is perfectly acceptable to leave children with the elderly, provided it is just a helping hand. The elderly can only meet the needs of life, and the primary caregiver is still needed for emotional needs. Family education is also constantly being improved and legislated.

Parents are responsible for their children, and their children are responsible for the future of the country.

Parents with a sound personality can and should guide their children.

As parents, you must have a stable emotional state and a sound personality. This is the only way you can guide your children constantly and help them grow up healthily.

Give him a sense of security and worthiness. Let him know he is loved and happy. Having a child means taking responsibility.

As an older person raising children, there are many problems. The body is not as convenient as it used to be. The times are developing, but the old generation's thinking and cognition is still used to raise the current children, which is not worth the cost. Nowadays, children's exploration of the outside world and their perception ability are superior to adults. With material abundance, they pay more attention to emotional connections.

Parents change a little, and children change a big step.

My child is now five years old and is also in a rebellious stage. He needs the company of his family members even more. The correct approach is to be a good guardian for your child. You must constantly improve yourself, be able to perceive love, and give your child all-round love.

Parents must change if they want their children to change. Children are born to help parents become complete individuals. They become aware of themselves and correct and improve themselves.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

From what I can tell from the question, the child is being spoiled, and it's this kind of spoiling that has led to her doing whatever she wants.

The people a child is in regular contact with are the best role models for them. When the child is eating, the way her grandfather behaves is exactly what she learns. She applies the way her grandfather usually treats her to her mother-in-law. This kind of behavior on the part of the child is obviously not the first time. If the adults let her do it the first time, she will think that this method works.

Kids are like blank slates. Whatever we teach them, they'll learn. There might be a little genetic factor in personality, but the character the child develops is mostly down to the nurturer.

From what I can tell, the questioner has some resentment towards the child's current situation. I'm not sure about the family situation, but I do think that even if the questioner needs to go out and help earn money to support the family, she is still very qualified to correct the child's behavior.

First, we need to change the child.

Intergenerational education is likely to lead to conflict, but the child is your own. Once the child is born, the parents' most important job is to educate them well. If you can, it's a good idea to raise the child yourself.

A five-year-old child is also going to kindergarten. With the help of the teacher and parents, some of the child's bad habits can be changed. If the child is allowed to continue like this, they will grow up to hate adults because they have been spoiled by them.

2. Create a good family environment and atmosphere.

If you want to change your child, it's important to create a positive environment and atmosphere at home. If there's always fighting and scolding, it's not going to be easy to make a change. Kids are very simple-minded. If adults can do something, they think they can do it too. If they're not allowed to do it, it can feel like being forced.

First, let the child feel the patience of the family members towards her, and teach her to express her emotions correctly. When she is angry, she can say so; when she feels aggrieved, she can cry, instead of resorting to violence to solve problems.

3. Be aware of your own issues.

Bad habits don't form overnight. So, how did the questioner handle it after noticing their child's bad habits? Were you proactive enough, or did you feel tired all the time and really have no time to take care of your child?

If you're also indulging your child, you might be blaming yourself. Given your child's current problems and the fact that you all have to live together, the only solution is for the family to sit down and discuss how to help your child correct these shortcomings together. You should let the older generation know how serious the situation is, since it's ruining a child rather than loving one.

If you're all on the same page when it comes to educating your kids, it'll help them change faster. So, communication is still very necessary.

I hope this helps the questioner. Best regards,

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further assistance. Kind regards,

After reviewing your inquiry, I empathize with your predicament. Allow me to extend a warm gesture of support.

The issues you are facing are as follows:

1. The child displays unruly behavior, and the adults in its life resort to physical discipline. This may be attributed to an inherent tendency toward mischief or inadequate guidance from adults.

2. Is it feasible to implement corrective measures at this late stage?

3. Why do adults tend to address their own issues through disciplinary actions rather than examining their own problems?

Problem analysis:

1. Children's violent behavior towards adults may be related to excessive indulgence of the child from an early age. It is possible that the questioner's family has only one child, and the grandparents, themselves, and their partner, pour all their love into one person. The child has lived a life of having everything handed to them since they were young, and their requests have never been refused.

However, over time, the child may become emotional and lash out at the elders when they realize that their demands are not being met.

2. The child's behavior may be encouraged by the elders, who may also be complicit in enabling the child's actions. When the child interacts with others, they may be bullied by other children. The elders may sometimes not think twice about it and tell the child to hit back if someone hits them.

As a result, the child will also exhibit short-tempered behavior and become accustomed to resolving issues through aggressive and impatient means.

3. Adults may occasionally become impatient when confronted with challenges, which can lead to feelings of irritation and anger. Children may imitate the behavior they observe in adults.

4. In family education, there are instances when the subject or the child's grandparents may, without considering the child's self-esteem, make light of and reprimand them in a casual manner, which can also cause the child to become antagonistic.

5. Children have an innate tendency to express their emotions. Given their relative youth and immaturity, they may not be able to restrain themselves in the same manner as adults when confronted with challenging situations. Consequently, they may resort to more overt forms of communication, such as body language. Without adequate guidance, children may rely on their instincts.

6. Children often lack empathy. When they engage in bullying behavior towards small animals, they may not fully comprehend the life and suffering involved. To them, the animal may be viewed as a mere toy, with no intrinsic value.

The same is true in the case of children hitting adults.

The following analysis and solutions are provided for your consideration:

(1) To facilitate positive change in a child, it is essential to address underlying issues within the parent-child dynamic. A child's behavior often reflects underlying educational challenges within the family. Words and actions can significantly influence a child's development.

(2) Parents should also learn from themselves, be patient with their children, and respect their children's ideas, but they must adhere to their principles and not compromise on matters of principle.

(3) It is advisable to communicate with your child in advance regarding the permitted duration of TV viewing. For instance, you could stipulate that it should be limited to 20 minutes per session, given the potential adverse effects on eyesight. It would then be prudent to remind your child of this rule once there are 5-10 minutes remaining.

The device must be powered off at the appointed time, and there is no room for negotiation.

(4) If the child persists in hitting the elders, disciplinary action may be warranted. This could include a mild physical punishment, such as tapping the child's palm with a ruler or making the child stand in the corner. Once the child's emotions have stabilized, a proper education can commence. This should include a clear understanding that there is no room for compromise on matters of principle.

(5) Divert the child's attention by engaging in activities such as playing with blocks, reading aloud, or playing ball games.

(6) When a child has a problem, parents should consider whether they may have a similar issue, whether they have used inappropriate language, and respect the child's ideas while allowing them to express their thoughts.

(7) It is essential to ensure that the child is aware of his rights and responsibilities at home. He should not assume that others will treat him kindly.

(8) Guide the child to speak up. Parents should reflect on their own behavior, establish clear rules for the child, and demonstrate to the child that effective communication is a preferred approach to conflict resolution.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

Hello!

I can see that you are self-reflective and have noticed the problems caused by your child's current behavior. You are doing a great job, and I want to give you a warm hug!

? The environment is the original, and the behavior displayed by a child in his or her growing environment is a copy.

I think there might be a good reason why your lovely child, who is five years old, still lets her wonderful grandparents feed her. Maybe someone has helped her to feel comfortable with not eating by herself.

You could try throwing the remote control or something at her grandfather while she's eating to turn off her TV. It's possible she's just expressing her dissatisfaction.

Then you can enjoy your own meals during mealtimes, ignore her, don't talk to her, and don't turn off her TV. Once you've finished eating, please quickly collect the dishes and wash them.

Do this every day, and you'll see the magic happen! She'll lose all motivation to keep asking for food and TV time, and she'll learn that hitting isn't the answer.

❤️Give her the love and respect she deserves, and let her know there are other ways to behave while giving her options.

If watching TV is okay, then if you choose to watch TV while eating, then don't eat. You can hit people too, but please don't hit her after you've done it.

I know it can be tough, but try not to initiate a conversation with her for a day or two. When he can't help but come to you, just tell him.

"You hit people without saying why you're angry when they haven't hurt you. We all get angry sometimes, don't we?"

"I really don't want to hurt you. I have to ignore you."

So, just a heads-up: if you hit someone without saying anything, you'll make them angry. We've all been there, and it's never a good look.

We're also quick to ignore you without saying anything. But we're here to help! All you have to do is admit your mistakes and be ready to change.

It's so important to remember that growing up requires adults and children to grow together.

I'd like to suggest a wonderful book for you to read: "Every Child Needs to Be Seen." It's about the various challenges that children aged 0-18 may face during their growth process, the emotional experiences they may have, and how parents can support them. It's a great read!

I'd highly recommend the book "Parenting with Awareness" if you're looking for some helpful tips on parenting and self-healing that go beyond the original family.

I really hope my answer helps you out! I love you all so much!