My father abuses my mother physically, and I take in my stepfather, yet I am unaware of my own psychological confusion.

Hello, Topic Master, and thank you for sharing your growth experience. There are many people here who, like you, have emotional needs, and there are also people who hope to help you relieve your emotions and build a sense of inner strength. So, you can feel free to express your emotions and feelings.

Your parents had their moments, your stepfather had a habit of sighing, and you experienced some challenges as a child. It's understandable that growing up in such an environment might have led to some feelings of insecurity. You mentioned that attending vocational high school for a while helped you develop a more agreeable personality, but it's important to recognize that the influence of one's original family can often linger in the subconscious.

It is often the case that children raised by parents who display short tempers may find it challenging to feel secure. Mothers in particular can have a significant influence on girls, particularly if they are emotionally unstable. In such cases, children may find it difficult to form a sense of security within themselves. This is often because they have been afraid of their mothers losing their temper since childhood. As a result, they may try to please their mothers by doing everything carefully, in an effort to avoid making them angry. As long as they can make their mothers happy, they may continue to maintain such a pleasing attitude when they grow up. This can lead to them pleasing the people around them. They may often make compromises and concessions, forgiving and tolerating others endlessly. This can result in the formation of a pleasing personality.

If you are always willing to accommodate others, it may be because you care a great deal about other people's feelings and needs. This can sometimes result in you neglecting your own needs. You may feel valuable only when you see others satisfied and accepting. Therefore, when you refuse others, you may feel a certain unease. This uneasiness may come more from a lack of self-acceptance, a feeling that if you don't satisfy others, they won't like you and you won't get their affirmation.

Perhaps the first step to alleviating this situation would be to affirm yourself, firmly recognize yourself, and not base your value on other people's feelings. It might be helpful to dare to refuse others, while paying more attention to your own feelings and satisfying your own needs.

When you establish clear boundaries with others, you may find that relationships will also become clear, and different people in different relationships will be filtered out. It may be helpful to consider staying away from the wrong people, and the right people may appreciate you for your principles.

I hope you can learn to love yourself, accept and affirm yourself. We are no longer the helpless and insecure children we were as children. We can be self-sufficient. I hope you are happy and living a wonderful life!