My girlfriend is seven years older than me, and I always have a strong sense of fear?

Good day, question asker.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of emotions, including ambivalence, indecision, hesitation, reluctance, and concerns about the future. These emotions are not uncommon in relationships between younger men and older women.

Let us assist you in clarifying your circumstances, discerning your internal ambivalence, and facilitating your autonomy in determining your future course of action.

Please describe the current status of your relationship with your girlfriend.

Prior to the dissolution of the relationship, the subject indicated that the object of affection continued to hold a profound level of affection and attachment, manifesting in a preoccupation with the subject's thoughts and actions, extending from professional matters to financial considerations.

I am somewhat uncertain as to the current status of your relationship. Have you broken up with her? Have you proposed to her?

Are you currently engaged in the dissolution of your relationship, or are you in the preliminary stages of doing so? Alternatively, have you not yet initiated the dissolution of your relationship, and are you instead preparing to do so?

In the event that a separation has already occurred, it would be beneficial to ascertain the source of concern and the aspect of the relationship that is proving challenging to let go of.

One might inquire as to whether the issue pertains to her financial support or the attachment to the relationship.

One must inquire of themselves whether they truly love her.

The subject states, "I am highly introverted and socially anxious, and I am extremely concerned about the opinions of others. Initially, when I accompanied my partner shopping, I was preoccupied with whether others would perceive us as an unappealing couple, whether my partner was overweight, and whether her attire was too traditional. I am uncertain about how I can become more at ease with her."

I counsel her to learn how to apply makeup, dress in a more flattering manner, and engage in regular exercise. However, she is a career-oriented individual who earns a significantly higher income than me and is frequently occupied with work. I have also persuaded myself that I genuinely enjoy her company, and this sentiment of mutual affection and care is genuinely gratifying.

However, I am compelled to observe the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth and the age spots on her face, which she herself acknowledges.

From the aforementioned paragraph, it can be surmised that you love her for a multitude of reasons, including her career-mindedness and high salary. However, you did not elaborate on these points. It is reasonable to assume that you were attracted to each other prior to your relationship's inception.

Concurrently, you express disdain for her, citing her corpulence, advanced age, and the presence of wrinkles on her countenance. You indicate a lack of acceptance of these physical attributes and express hope that she will enhance her appearance through cosmetic procedures and fitness. However, she is preoccupied with professional obligations, rendering her unable to comply with your wishes.

This represents a conflict. One's affections are not evenly distributed across the entirety of the object of one's affection; rather, they are concentrated on a single aspect.

This is a problematic situation. The age difference between you and your girlfriend is seven years, and it is evident that she appears older in terms of her physical appearance and personality. While beauty treatments and fitness contribute to this perception, they also necessitate time, energy, and financial resources. The crucial factor is that your girlfriend must be willing to accept this reality.

Therefore, the discrepancy in appearance resulting from the age difference is an objective reality. You do not accept her appearance and hope that she will alter it to align with your preferences. Your girlfriend appears to disagree, indicating a conflict in your relationship.

The question thus arises as to whether the subject in question can be considered his girlfriend's true love.

You indicate that your girlfriend is also involved with a partner who is one year her senior. She does not hold a positive sentiment towards this individual, yet she also considers the feelings of the other person. She resides at their place and awaits the natural progression of events, intending to allow the relationship to conclude on its own.

It is a source of considerable distress.

The greatest source of pressure is the fact that, despite the relatively short duration of the relationship, the subject has been informed on numerous occasions by both the subject and the subject's mother that marriage is a possibility. Additionally, the subject has been told on several occasions that the eventuality of the relationship's dissolution is not a significant concern.

This raises the question of whether you are, in fact, the only boyfriend of your girlfriend. Alternatively, has your relationship already ended and have you already formed a new attachment?

However, this does not appear to be the case, as her family is exerting pressure on her to marry, which is causing you some concern. Additionally, you are experiencing feelings of jealousy towards this boyfriend.

One might inquire as to the nature of her attraction to this individual. Is there a genuine affinity between them?

After a mere two months of courtship, she is already urging you to wed, yet simultaneously asserts that it is acceptable for you to remain single. This is perplexing. It appears that your relationship is somewhat convoluted and lacks sincerity.

The social phobia and fear of other people's stares may be caused by the fact that the girlfriend is older than the boyfriend and attracts more attention from others, which makes the boyfriend even more fearful and less confident. The boyfriend wants to break up quickly.

It is hoped that the above analysis will assist the reader in clarifying their thoughts and identifying their own needs. This will enable them to make an informed decision as to whether or not to terminate the relationship.

Hello! I am so excited to be learning and I thank you so much for your question!

I can feel your dilemma, and I'm here to help! You really don't want to give up, but at the same time, you don't want to insist, and it's not going well. So you don't know what decision to make, and you want to hear everyone's opinions.

Now for the fun part! Let's dive in and analyze:

When making a difficult decision, let's first consider these three sentences:

First things first!

Let's focus on the things we can change! We can change our attitude, thoughts, and feelings towards her. We can also change our financial strength.

Or is there something else I can help you with?

Second, let's dive in!

Embrace the things you cannot change, such as her conditions and age. What else is out of your hands? Grab a piece of paper or make a list in your head and let's see what else we can discover!

And now for the third step!

Now, let's distinguish the difference between the two. When you understand these three sentences together, you'll see that they say: What can you decide in this relationship? What can't you decide? Then what choice will you make?

Ask yourself if you can change or accept it. If you can change, then how do you want to change? If you can't change, what choice will you make?

Second, there's another saying that I love: When making a choice, if you are hesitant, then ask yourself, which choice will you regret, being with her or not? Then just choose the other way! Relationships are indeed hard to choose, and it is best to choose what is good for yourself and also good for her. Since you have been together for so long and have feelings for each other, you don't want to hurt her, which is why you are hesitant, right?

In the end, you get to decide which path to take! As long as you've made up your mind and know you won't regret it, you just have to be determined to make it happen. There might be changes along the way, but if you keep strengthening your decision, you'll get there! Relationships are a two-way street. You have the right to choose and choose the one that's right for you. If you choose to be together, then go for it! You can do it!

If you don't stay together, will you regret it? Think about it!

OK, I'm learning in silence. This is what I think. Relationships are inherently selfish. You say you're worried about your financial situation. Are you a bit stuck on this? In fact, it's not about choosing love for the bread, but you chose love and at the same time gained bread. You say you're happy with her, which means she treats you well. At the same time, you say she has wrinkles at the corners of her mouth. You think you're 26 and can find someone younger. You also have feelings for each other, so it's really not an easy choice. Then choose what you won't regret. At first you were hesitant, but slowly you became determined. Think about it. Don't regret your choice. Just choose. Think twice about everything. At the same time, one thought, two thoughts, and three thoughts are enough. Further thoughts are just overthinking.

Hello!

When I saw your question, I immediately Googled the term "sense of fear." A sense of fear is a strong and depressing emotional state, experienced by an individual or group in real or imagined danger. It manifests as high nervous tension, fear in the heart, inability to concentrate, a blank mind, an inability to judge or control one's actions properly, and becoming impulsive.

I'm certain that the fear mentioned in your question is inconsistent with the above explanation.

However, after reading your entire question, it is clear that your real problem is that you are not truly in love with this girlfriend who is seven years older than you. Let me be clear: the feeling of being happy together is not love. In fact, it is a long way from true love.

When you truly love someone, her appearance, what other people think, and the differences between you are irrelevant. You want to be good to her and be with her, and that's all that matters.

My advice is simple: don't consider marriage. The other person and her mother have mentioned it, whether intentionally or not. Marriage is a contract between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. If you are not truly in love with each other, any marriage based on other reasons is immoral. It will prevent the two people from truly being happy!

Marriage is a contract between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. If you are not truly in love with each other, any marriage based on other reasons is immoral. It will prevent the two people from truly being happy!

This is my personal opinion, and I hope it will be enlightening and helpful to you.

Hello!

I am a mindfulness coach, and I can tell you with certainty that learning is the treasure of the body.

From your description, I can clearly see your inner fear, confusion, worry, hesitation, and feeling of being overwhelmed.

You are troubled by a powerful sense of fear brought on by spending time with your girlfriend. I will give you three pieces of advice:

First, accept your current state.

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly easier, which will help you think about what to do next.

You say that you are very introverted and socially anxious, that you care a lot about what other people think, that when you are with your girlfriend, who is seven years older than you, you are always afraid that other people will say that you two are not a good match, and that you also care a lot about her age and appearance. You also advise her to learn to put on makeup, dress up, and go to the gym, but she is a career-minded girl who makes much more money than you, and she also has a boyfriend who is one year older than you. Although she says that she doesn't like him and wants to wait until the relationship fades naturally before breaking up, you feel uncomfortable about it. And the biggest pressure comes from getting married. You feel that your current financial situation doesn't allow it. In fact, it is understandable that you feel such a strong sense of fear, because many partners will care about some of the age differences, including appearance. Coupled with the issue of getting married, there are also a lot of people who are just as stressed as you are. After all, getting married is not a small amount of money. Perhaps the fear you feel inside is also a bit about the difference in your salaries. She is a very career-minded girl, and you may feel that you can't control her (of course this is my guess, it may not be accurate). So you have to try to understand yourself.

You must allow yourself to accept yourself if you want to change the status quo. It may sound contradictory, but it is the truth. Change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, you must see your own state rationally.

You can understand yourself and reality better if you think rationally.

To view the situation rationally, you must do two things:

First, understand that there is no perfect partner because there is no perfect person. Set objective and reasonable criteria for choosing a partner.

You need to know what you care about most about your partner, what comes second, what comes third, and what you can do without.

You're worried about what others will think about you and her. You need to ask yourself: are you and she a good match? This is the key. To determine whether you and she are a good match, you need to be clear about your own criteria for choosing a partner. Do you put the feeling of being together first, or do you put a good appearance first, or do you put age requirements first? Think about it like this, and you'll be less entangled.

You can change the current situation.

Once you have taken the initiative and taken control of your situation, you will be able to resolve your biggest stress: worrying about not being able to get married in the short term due to financial difficulties. You will also be able to put your concerns about her ex-boyfriend to rest.

You can resolve the various negative emotions in your heart when you look at it rationally.

I advise you to focus on yourself and consider how you can improve your situation.

When you see your own situation clearly, you can take action. Focus on yourself and do your best to make things happen.

For example, if you realize that there is no perfect partner and you value being together above all else, then age and appearance are secondary. In this case, you can temporarily feel at ease and get along well with her, without worrying too much about what others think. If you feel that you care more about age and appearance, then you can break up and find a girl who matches your standards in these aspects. You can do that, but you may not have the comfortable feeling of being with her anymore. As long as you examine yourself carefully, make a rational decision, and don't regret it, you will be fine.

If you still want to get along with her, tell her you hope she breaks up with her boyfriend and gets along with you. Tell her you'll love her well. She'll probably break up with him and get along with you. She may have been worried you didn't accept her and like her.

If you want to be with her but there's pressure about the marriage issue, communicate with her honestly. Your thoughts about marriage and love are not equivalent to financial shortcomings. If you can't get married just because of money, and she loves you, she won't ask for a big dowry and may contribute to the wedding. If you have true love, the problem of not being able to get married due to money is likely to be resolved. You can improve the situation.

Take action and all your negative emotions will disappear. It's as simple as that.

Furthermore, I hope you can understand that everyone will grow old, and every girl will have wrinkles around the mouth. It's just a matter of how much and how soon. If you love someone, you love them for who they are. Of course, saying this is not to tell you to "definitely" be with her. I just hope you can think rationally and avoid regrets.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, simply click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I will communicate with you one-on-one.

Hello!

Let's dive into this topic about love together!

I think you've been holding this in for a long time, and you finally got it out in this amazing paragraph you wrote in the middle of the night!

Your girlfriend is the sweetest, most thoughtful person you know. She's always there for you, and you're lucky to have her. You just have to accept that she doesn't care much about dressing up.

Your girlfriend always thinks about you in terms of work and life. "Before I broke up with her, she still loved me very much." You can see that she has given you a lot and cares about you, and you are also touched by her. However, your heart is full of fear and pressure—and it's about to burst with excitement!

You care about other people's stares, your girlfriend is seven years older than you, and you worry that other people will look at you two through tinted glasses and even misunderstand you. Think about it carefully, and you'll realize that you're the one who cares about this the most!

And you'll care about her wrinkles and spots, too! But people will get older and older. So ask yourself: can you accept it?

And treat her with the utmost sincerity!

Let's learn to express our feelings!

It's only natural that you want your girlfriend to be more beautiful as you spend more and more time together. You persuade her to go to the gym and dress up, and it's so great to see her making these positive changes!

Have you ever thought about encouraging her more? She is a very career-minded person, so you could accompany her to the gym more often after work. You could even learn to put on makeup yourself and hide all your thoughts from her! She will never understand, but you can try!

If you take the initiative and show enthusiasm, you can make a change! Inner beauty is always the best, and inner gentleness and kindness will follow you for a lifetime.

☆She has another intimate relationship that has not been properly resolved, which has become a thorn in your heart.

Love is exclusive, and we humans have a natural instinct to be possessive. This just means you have a lot to offer her! The fact that she didn't handle the relationship well also makes you worried, but this is an opportunity for you to step up and show her what you're made of. You can do this!

You can do this! You still need to express your needs, rather than just thinking about it all by yourself, which is highly self-defeating.

☆Exciting possibilities for the future! ☆Concerns about getting married due to financial situation.

Your girlfriend and her mother have mentioned marriage several times, which is great! They must be feeling optimistic about the future. However, your financial situation is not yet good enough for marriage, so there's still a little more work to do.

This is the most direct and objective reason for feeling helpless and fearful—and it's also the most exciting one!

At the age of 26, just a few years after entering society, if family conditions do not permit, getting married is indeed a lot of pressure. But getting married is still a matter for both parties, which means you have the opportunity to make it work! Perhaps you can talk openly with your girlfriend about your situation and circumstances.

And in the questioner's text, "before breaking up with her..." has the questioner now broken off this relationship with her, or is it just a temporary escape? If you really don't like her that much and don't feel right about it, then it's making way for the right person!

When problems come, if you ruminate and think hard, you won't be able to come up with an answer. But don't worry! It's better to calm down. Regarding life, apart from romance, you can also make a self-development plan. Regarding work, what other improvements can be made?

And for marriage, are you ready to enter into it? Absolutely! The questioner can record and organize their thoughts in written form, and perhaps they will not be so lost.

The journey is long, but it's also an amazing adventure! The only way is to keep striving and enjoy the ride.

Hello, question asker! I'm so happy to see your description, because it looks like you and your girlfriend have a great time together, and she's seven years your senior.

I'd love to know what you're afraid of.

First of all, my girlfriend is seven years my senior. She's very straightforward when it comes to relationships. Even after I broke up with her, she still loved me very much and was always thinking about me. She even thought about me a lot when it came to work, renting a place to live, and money!

Oh, she's such a good girlfriend! Maybe it's just because she thinks so much about you, and you feel a little pressured?

Secondly, you say you are very introverted and socially anxious, and you care a lot about other people's stares. I totally get it! At first, when I went shopping with her, I would care a lot about whether other people would think we didn't match, whether my girlfriend was too fat, whether she was dressed too old-fashioned, and so on. From this description, it seems that you care a lot about what other people think of you, and you live your life in the eyes of others. I'm here to help! Ask yourself: Is life for you?

Or maybe you're just showing it off for other people?

Then you say, "I've advised her to learn to put on makeup, dress up, and go to the gym, but she's a career-minded girl who makes much more than I do and works most of the time. And you can't help but keep looking at the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth and the age spots on her face that she herself has mentioned.

From this description, I get the feeling you might prefer girls who are younger than you. Why not ask yourself: what kind of girl do you really like?

We all have our flaws. Girls who are both capable at work and young and pretty also have a high price tag. This is an era of value exchange. When you pick on others, you will also get picked on in return.

This is what we call choice!

? Finally, everyone loves beauty, but no one is perfect. People who like each other at first sight are soulmates. If you meet the first person you like in this life, then they must have loved you deeply in their past life.

In relationships, it's so common to find ourselves complaining about the other person, when really, we're just complaining about ourselves. And isn't it so lovely when love is evenly matched, and friendships are perfectly balanced too?

I really recommend a book called "If Only I Knew Before Marriage." I'd love to know what you think after reading it!

Dear question asker,

After reading your question, I have a clear understanding of the conflict, confusion, and helplessness that you are experiencing. I wish you well.

From your description, it seems that you have terminated the relationship. Following this, you experienced a certain reluctance, which has resulted in your current psychological state of distress. Your current situation is a source of significant internal conflict. You are neither progressing nor regressing. This state of stagnation is a source of considerable discomfort. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

From your statements, it is evident that over the past two months, you have derived pleasure from your time spent with her. You and she are individuals who hold a profound affection for one another, and you feel a profound sense of ease in providing care for each other. This is a sentiment that is truly indelible, yet beneath this radiant sentiment, you still harbor a multitude of concerns.

For example, he is seven years older than you, which you find difficult to accept. This is why you encourage her to wear makeup and him to exercise. This is why you pay so much attention to his appearance and notice the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth. I believe these are also things that you cannot get past in your heart, not to mention the fact that there is also her boyfriend, who is one year older than you, which is an additional source of distress. It is understandable that these two factors make your life difficult at the present time.

I concur. Based on this information, you have proposed terminating the relationship despite feeling positive about it. In my assessment, you have invested more in the relationship than he has. He still has a romantic interest in another individual, and he desires to allow the relationship to naturally fade. However, how long will that take?

It is possible that this is the reason for your indecision regarding the potential dissolution of the relationship. Given that you have already alluded to the possibility of a breakup, it would be advisable for both parties to take some time to calm down. This will allow him to process his relationship with his boyfriend and you to consider the situation from a more objective perspective.

It is my contention that this sentence is yours forever. It is not possible to escape it, nor to obtain it even through the most ardent supplication. I must confess that I did not fully comprehend the final sentence, which was not completed. You stated that his mother and he were discussing the possibility of marriage, but that your financial circumstances would not permit this. I was similarly uncertain as to the nature of the relationship between the aforementioned mother and her boyfriend. You indicated that she wished to allow the relationship to naturally come to an end, yet how could she have suggested that you should marry during that period?

Due to the constraints of the text and my own personal limitations, I may not have fully comprehended the situation. However, I am confident that individuals who recognize the need for assistance will consider all perspectives and identify a course of action that aligns with their needs.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon find your way out of this emotional predicament, discover your ideal partner, and embark on a life together as a married couple, basking in the beauty of life.

I extend my utmost affection to the world and to you.

Hello. I can really sense your confusion and distress at the thought of ending the relationship out of fear. I wonder if you might find some relief by talking about these doubts.

By sharing your feelings, you're taking the first step to regaining control of your life.

Let's start by talking about your concerns. What's the main reason you're considering breaking up? Is it the social issue of your girlfriend being seven years older than you?

Is there still another guy in her hometown? Or has your girlfriend been supporting you, especially financially?

Or do you think your girlfriend wants to get married more and more? I think they're both affecting you, but there must be something that concerns you more. Maybe we can find a way out by exploring it.

We also need to think about whether the fear of breaking up will go away. Have you had similar experiences in the past?

If so, what have you learned from this experience?

You need to make a decision about breaking up, but you don't seem to think that fear is an unbeatable reason. Your expression and request for help prove this. Then let's think about the above questions.

If you're worried about your girlfriend's age and appearance becoming the main reason for breaking up, I suggest focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and your feelings for her. This will help you make an informed decision rather than basing it on other people's comments. If there's a specific issue, try to address it by talking to your girlfriend. If you feel dependent on her financially, try to find ways to balance this out. If you're not ready to get married and are considering breaking up, talk to her about your concerns and plans. You might be able to find a solution together.

In short, breaking up is just as difficult a decision as staying together, no matter what happens. I hope you can explore your true feelings more and express them sincerely to your partner. Otherwise, even if you do break up, you may still be unable to shake off some inexplicable "fear."

When you have strong feelings, you know it. It's important to be open about being together and apart. We need to embrace the experiences that come with it. Let's do this.

Good day, questioner. My name is Evan.

From the subject's own account, it can be discerned that in the subject's relationship with his girlfriend, the subject experiences a sense of relative disadvantage. Furthermore, when communicating with his girlfriend, it can be observed that the subject feels a certain degree of pressure.

The question then arises as to whether the protagonist, who is in a relationship with a girlfriend who is older than him, wishes to continue the relationship. There is no definitive answer to this question, as it depends on the protagonist's personal feelings.

In such a situation, a gesture of support, such as a pat on the shoulder, can be beneficial. When communicating with one's current partner, it is possible to express one's feelings in a calm, sincere, and clear manner, addressing topics of concern. As the question was initially posed on the aforementioned platform, it seems pertinent to offer the questioner some brief advice.

It is imperative to provide your girlfriend with as much support as possible.

In order to demonstrate clear interest or support for your girlfriend's decisions, it is essential to respond in a manner that indicates active listening. This can be achieved by maintaining eye contact and nodding your head to show that you are engaged with her.

In response to her verbalizations, refrain from offering dismissive or inconsequential responses such as "hmm" or "whatever." Instead, demonstrate active listening by attentively considering her statements and asking pertinent questions. Affirm her decisions by expressing support or sharing personal experiences to demonstrate comprehension of her perspective.

Demonstrating interest and support, or what might be termed a "bias" towards one's partner, is fundamental to the maintenance of a healthy relationship.

In the event that your girlfriend discusses emotionally charged topics, you may offer her support and assistance in navigating the challenges she is facing. For instance, if she discloses that she has engaged in a conflict with her closest friend, it would be advisable to actively listen to her and reassure her of your willingness to provide a supportive presence.

One might suggest a response such as, "That is unfortunate. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such a situation."

"What can I do to be of assistance?"

Discuss your relationship or future plans.

It is recommended that the questioner initiate discussions with their girlfriend about the state of their relationship on a regular basis. To commence such a discussion, it is advisable to inquire about the evolution of the relationship over time.

It would be beneficial to engage in discourse pertaining to the nature of the relationship and future prospects. One might inquire as to the initial impetus behind the decision to commence a romantic relationship, as well as the most significant transformation observed in the other party since the inception of the relationship.

What are the strengths and weaknesses inherent to my role as a romantic partner? How might I enhance my performance in this role?

"What are your thoughts regarding the future of our relationship? What are your future plans?"

"I have formulated some considerations regarding the future. Would you permit me to discuss them with you?"

Discuss the relationship with your girlfriend in a calm and objective manner.

In the event that the relationship between the questioner and his girlfriend is experiencing difficulties, it is advisable to maintain an objective and calm tone of voice when discussing the relationship. It is important to remain open-minded and avoid becoming emotionally invested in the situation.

It is imperative that the focus be on the strengthening of the relationship, rather than on the infliction of harm upon one another.

If the questioner wishes to inform his girlfriend that her actions have caused him discomfort, it is advisable to communicate in a manner that demonstrates concern for the well-being of both parties and the strength of the relationship.

Should you wish to marry me, it would be prudent to await the attainment of a stable income before taking any further action.

It is imperative to confront emotional issues directly and forthrightly.

It may appear more convenient to allow issues to resolve themselves and to refrain from addressing challenging subjects. However, avoiding these subjects will likely result in a deterioration of the situation.

Instead, it would be prudent to set aside time to discuss the issue. One might say, "I am aware that you are upset about what I did the other day."

"I would be grateful if we could find a suitable opportunity to discuss the matter further."

It is important to note that avoidance of these challenging topics will likely result in a gradual deterioration of the relationship. It is recommended to communicate to the partner that it is possible to engage in a calm and honest dialogue about the issues at hand.

"I must discuss this matter with you, and I hope you will be open to considering my perspective."

It is crucial to identify whether avoidance tactics are being employed in the relationship. This can be achieved by encouraging the individual to reflect on their reasons for avoiding communication. Once the underlying reasons have been identified, it is then possible to suggest alternative strategies for addressing the underlying issues.

It is important to ascertain whether you are avoiding discussing your feelings. It would be beneficial to consider the reasons for this avoidance and to explain them to your partner.

It would be advisable to inform her that you are aware that the stress you have been experiencing is a result of this situation. You should also explain that you have considered the reasons behind this stress and believe that it is a defence mechanism.

"I have always been an introvert, and I feel pressure and confusion about the future. It is my hope that couples can be honest with each other, and that you can discuss this with me patiently."

Should your girlfriend decline to divulge her thoughts and feelings, it would be unwise to attempt to force the issue.

In the event that your girlfriend is reluctant to open up to you, it is important to avoid taking it personally. Instead, it is advisable to adopt a compassionate approach, avoiding any actions that might make the situation more challenging for her.

In the event that your girlfriend is reluctant to open up to you, it is advisable to remain calm and demonstrate understanding. One possible approach would be to say, "I don't want to force you to express your feelings or put too much pressure on you."

Nevertheless, it is my hope that our relationship is sufficiently intimate for you to feel comfortable sharing your emotions with me. I pledge that we can engage in open and constructive dialogue on any topic, regardless of its nature.

"

It is essential to be transparent about one's objectives and intentions.

In discussing emotionally challenging topics, it is important to address the issue directly. When the intention is to strengthen the relationship or resolve a problem, it is essential to be clear about the desired outcome.

For example, one might posit the following: "I would like to discuss the potential longevity of our relationship. When our financial situation is more stable, perhaps we could consider the possibility of marriage."

"Do you believe it is acceptable to enter a state of preparation for marriage at this time?" "May we discuss your other romantic interest?"

I must acknowledge that I occasionally feel neglected. I have no desire to impede your communication with him, but I do hope that when we are together, we can establish sufficient trust and communicate honestly enough for you to value my feelings.

"

It is my sincere hope that this response will prove beneficial.

Hello, dear question asker!

After reading the whole article, I just wanted to share a few points that I think you should think about really carefully.

In a three-way relationship, it's so important to have a normal relationship based on mutual devotion from both sides. We all know how much it hurts when someone says they love you but can't handle their previous relationship and start a new one. It's bound to cause a lot of problems and conflicts. You might be feeling this right now, and you'll probably have to face this problem at some point.

It's totally normal to have some concerns about getting along with your partner. We all worry about how other people will judge us based on external conditions or age and status. It's natural to feel this way, but the truth is, we can't change anyone but ourselves.

If you really love each other, enjoy being together, and want to cherish this bond, then don't worry! Those fears can actually be overcome. Look more at the other person's sparkle and irreplaceability, bravely face your true emotions and the judgment of the outside world. You are the only one who knows your feelings best, and there is no right or wrong in relationships. Other people's judgments mean nothing to you, so you really don't have to care too much.

When you're thinking about marriage, it's important to remember that it's not just about being in love. There are so many other things to consider, like responsibilities and financial planning. It's a big decision, and it's best to wait until you've known your partner for a long time and it's something you both want. Otherwise, you might end up regretting it later.

Second, you know deep down that you are not ready, so follow your heart and communicate honestly with your partner. It's so important to listen to your heart, and don't be pressured into making a choice against your heart.

After reading your questions and trying to get a handle on your situation,

I'd like to ask you a few more questions.

Are you in a relationship with the goal of getting married someday?

Is your current motivation for being in a relationship to consider whether the other person is suitable for you to enter into marriage with one day?

What are your thoughts on marriage?

What are your expectations regarding material needs in your future marriage?

What are your spiritual needs in your future marriage? What do you hope to be satisfied or accepted in your marriage? What do you think might be unsatisfied or unacceptable?

Do you think you'll be able to accept each other completely in your married life?

Do you need your partner to be emotionally exclusive?

Do you need to accept the other person's family members? Or do you need to accept each other to what extent, and to what extent you can accept each other's families, so that the two of you can have a relatively stable and sustainable marriage relationship?

After marriage, do you want to have children? Are there any requirements that need to be met?

What kind of life do you see yourself leading in the future? What kind of person do you want to become?

Of course, marriage is the foundation of a new family, and family relationships and family life encompass every aspect. So you can keep asking yourself questions about marriage and life, whatever you think is important. Asking questions can get your brain going, which helps you identify, analyze, and solve problems. The "social phobia" you mentioned is something you have to face and overcome to grow and succeed. If you want to be in charge of your own life, you have to grow and succeed yourself!

Everyone needs to keep growing and improving their ability to get to know people and handle things. The fact that you're here asking questions and learning shows that you're eager to keep growing and are open to different perspectives on issues from different angles. I believe you'll take responsibility for your own life. I wish happiness and well-being to every family in the world!

I hope you find the wisdom you're looking for and that your own inner light shines brightly! May it guide you through the future.

Dear older man, I hope this message finds you well.

From what you've shared, it seems there are some differences in opinion between you and your girlfriend, who is seven years your senior.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that from a psychological perspective, she has a strong affinity for you and is committed to your wellbeing. You derive immense joy from spending time together and have a deep sense of mutual respect and care for one another.

Secondly, from an appearance perspective, she is seven years older than you, so she has wrinkles and age spots on her face, and she is also a bit overweight. It seems that she doesn't pay much attention to her appearance, which may be because she is very career-minded and has devoted herself to her work, neglecting to maintain her image.

Third, it seems that she has a boyfriend of her own, but after being with you, he made a choice and also has thoughts of marrying you. This may be causing you some concern.

Based on your description, I would like to share my views in the hope that they might be helpful.

First, it's important to recognize that other people's opinions can have a significant impact on us. When you go out, you might feel uneasy about the way you look, which could be a factor in your relationship. It's understandable to feel this way, but it's also crucial to remember that getting along with each other is just as important as looking good.

Secondly, it might be helpful to try to communicate with him. It's worth noting that sibling love is not a new phenomenon in modern society. For instance, we can look to superstars Gao Yuanyuan and Yi Nengjing, who appear to be very happy in their lives.

Perhaps we can learn something from these successful people. They are constantly improving themselves, whether in terms of career, inner growth, or external image, and are striving to add color to their lives. We could consider taking them as role models and letting her understand that the issue of external image is also very important in romantic relationships.

Third, if you choose to end the relationship, it might be helpful to move on from these thoughts. You are only 26 years old, and there are many possibilities ahead of you. The future is full of hope. As long as you have aspirations and work hard, you will definitely have a bright tomorrow.

If I might make one more request of you, it would be that you enjoy a happy life.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it's clear your girlfriend loves you. But you don't love her enough.

You said, "I care a lot about other people's stares. Whenever I go out shopping with her, I will care a lot about whether other people will think that we don't match, whether my girlfriend is too fat, whether she is dressed too old-fashioned, etc." You also said, "I can't help but keep looking at the wrinkles around her mouth and the age spots on her face that she herself mentioned." You even advised her to learn to put on makeup, dress up, and go to the gym. From your description, it's clear that you still have a little bit of dislike for your girlfriend. This is your current stage of feelings for your girlfriend.

You haven't been together long. Her mother has mentioned marriage. There's also a big difference in salary between you and your girlfriend, which is a lot of pressure.

I want to ask you directly: You say you care about what others say about the two of you not being suitable for each other. So, what is your true inner feeling? Do you care?

You need to ask yourself: do you really love her? You haven't been spending much time together, so I suggest you spend some more time together sincerely. If you still have so many feelings and doubts inside, then you need to have a good talk with your girlfriend and tell her your true feelings. It's better to part ways amicably, for the good of both of you!

I'm certain it will help you! Even if it touches you in the slightest...

I wish you happiness! The world and I love you!

There's a difference in age between you two, and there are probably lots of differences in terms of experience and economic conditions. It might be tough for your partner to always support you as you accumulate wealth. Plus, there's a lot of competition out there, and you might feel a strong sense of fear inside.

Your partner is straightforward and loves you a lot. They'll always think of you first in everything. You're more introverted and tend to be shy in social situations. You worry about a lot of things and get hurt easily. Are you happy together? Do you care too much about her appearance?

You'll also want her to learn how to put on makeup and dress up, so you may not be particularly satisfied in these areas. You want her to change and adjust, and you were once happy together. However, you still find it hard to accept the wrinkles and age spots around her mouth.

Maybe, apart from her relationship status and age, you still place a lot of importance on appearance. You've only been together for less than two months, so you still need to get to know each other better and improve your ability to get along with each other to see if you're a good match.

It's also worth thinking about whether your values and personalities are compatible and whether the other person still wants to get married. There's no need to rush into marriage if you're not ready. Love is something you have to navigate together. If you're not feeling it, it's OK to say so. If you do like each other, it's probably best to say so sooner rather than later, as a long-term relationship is often a better choice. If you're struggling with depression, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor.

ZQ?

I'm 26, and my girlfriend is 33.

She also has a boyfriend, one year older than me. She doesn't like him, but she cares about his feelings. She goes home to live while everyone's feelings cool down. She wants to let the relationship break up naturally.

It's a thorn in my side.

She and her mother have mentioned getting married several times, even though they've only been dating for less than two months.

She says it doesn't matter if we don't end up together, but I can't get married soon because of my finances.

The above content reflects a lot.

The questioner is 26 and his girlfriend is 33. Women over 30 are often pressured to marry.

Is the questioner's girlfriend in a previous relationship?

Has a new relationship with the questioner been started?

Is the marriage mentioned by the girlfriend's mother with the questioner or with the other boyfriend?

Does your girlfriend's mother know?

The questioner cares about what others think and thinks going out with his girlfriend will cause trouble.

The questioner subconsciously rejects his girlfriend's age.

I hope my girlfriend will learn to dress better and go to the gym.

Do you want to hide your girlfriend's age? Or do you want to look good with her?

He thinks he and his girlfriend look bad together and people will laugh.

A strong work ethic means you value your work and don't have time to dress up and go to the gym. Work is more important.

The questioner will think his girlfriend is an appendage. If she makes less money, he'll tell her what he wants and it'll stop him from taking action.

The more he thinks about it, the more he'll believe that his girlfriend's appearance is a problem and that they're not a good match.

Love is not enough. Marriage is messy.

Relationship grievances will come up after marriage.

The questioner doesn't want to take that step, and it's not just about money.

Hello, After reading your description, I've put together a few questions that you can ask yourself to help identify the underlying issues. I hope this is helpful.

1. Your girlfriend is older than you, and you're worried that you'll look bad together.

Why do you think the lack of compatibility makes you feel fearful? Is it because you feel ashamed that your girlfriend's appearance doesn't satisfy you?

Or is it that you think it'll hurt your pride if people see that your girlfriend is older than you and think you're a kept man?

2. Fear of marriage.

Why do you think marrying your girlfriend now would be a bad idea?

Is it because you don't have the money? Or is it because you don't want to marry her?

If it's because you don't have enough money, then you can focus on how to make more.

If you don't want to marry her, you need to think about whether you still love her. If you do, why don't you want to marry her?

If not, why not?

If you've reached the point where you don't love each other anymore, it's best to end things as soon as possible to avoid causing further issues for everyone involved.

3. Fear of the other person having a boyfriend of a similar age.

Did you know about the issue in your relationship from the beginning, or did you find out about it after you had been dating for a while?

If you knew from the start, why did you accept?

If you found out this way later on in the relationship, would you be okay with it? Why or why not?

Take your time with these questions. I think you'll find that they help you understand your real needs better.

And finally, a few more questions: What kind of relationship are you looking for? What does your ideal girlfriend look like?

What kind of girl do you find attractive? And what do you think are the most important factors for a stable and happy relationship?

The truth is, you already know the answers. They've been inside you all along. All you have to do is explore, and you'll get better and better at it.

Good day, host.

I can appreciate the uncertainty you're facing in your relationship and the difficulty in making a decision.

It is a truly remarkable and fortuitous circumstance when two individuals meet, fall in love, and decide to marry one another.

Many people in a relationship simply wish to coexist harmoniously, without becoming overly invested in the details of their partner's lives.

This ultimately led to the unfortunate breakup and the challenge of finding someone who could match the positive qualities of one's former partner.

It would be beneficial for both partners to have a clear understanding of their future aspirations. Having defined goals in place can help to ensure a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

I'm concerned that if the two of you don't see eye to eye, there may be some challenges.

I would like to take a moment to discuss the situation of the host.

I tend to be more concerned with my girlfriend's appearance, clothing, and grooming than I should be.

It is worth noting that appearance is only important at first glance. What is more important is what is on the inside.

In terms of height, weight, and whether others might perceive it as inappropriate or old-fashioned, those are concerns that are best left to the individual.

Ultimately, it is not a significant concern as long as the original poster is comfortable with it. As the saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

With regard to the issue of age, the host is seven years younger than his girlfriend, which may help to alleviate some of her concerns.

It is my humble opinion that, as long as the host feels comfortable with it, age is not a barrier in love.

Financial considerations: The host indicated that the current economic situation presents a challenge.

This may be the most challenging aspect for the original poster. If the girlfriend is open to wishing the original poster success, she could also consider making a commitment to a deadline.

For instance, in a few years, how might it evolve? As long as you both share common goals and aspirations, it should be manageable.

Regarding opposite-sex issues, the original poster mentioned that he has a boyfriend who is one year his senior.

Could you please clarify whether the host is referring to a male friend or a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that has been confirmed?

While we may encounter many individuals at the optimal age, it is likely that only one will stand out as a clear favorite.

I believe that true love is not something that can be chosen based on weighing the pros and cons. Rather, it is a feeling that, no matter what someone looks like, you like them.

I hope you have a happy life!

I am warm June, and I hope that you will accept my love for you and the world!

Dear question asker,

After reviewing your account, it is my assessment that the woman in question is demonstrating a greater level of interest and concern for you.

Prior to my decision to terminate the relationship, my partner expressed a profound level of affection and commitment. She exhibited a high level of involvement in matters pertaining to our shared work, housing, and financial matters. However, I was characterized by a pervasive sense of apprehension and obligation, and I was driven by a desire to expeditiously conclude the relationship.

The trepidation and strain that you currently experience can be leveraged to engage in a thoughtful reflection on the underlying sources of your apprehension. In addition to the fear of matrimony and the potential for social disapproval, what other concerns are motivating your reservations?

From a psychological perspective, it is not the event itself that elicits our emotional responses, but rather our interpretation of the event.

Consider the following example: if one always believes that in a relationship or marriage, a woman cannot be older than a man and that women tend to age more quickly, then naturally one will feel a great deal of pressure. However, if one thinks differently, what is the problem with being older? It is possible for true love to transcend age limits. In reality, there are also examples of women being older than men and actually living happily together, which suggests that one's age is not a significant factor.

If one holds a different opinion on a given matter, one's emotional state will be affected. It is also possible to find examples of couples with a significant age difference who are happy together. However, one can adhere to one's own beliefs and marry someone with a less pronounced age difference.

Ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

The notion that true freedom is not to be afraid of being disliked by anyone is a widely held belief.

In reality, however, the majority of individuals lack the courage to be disliked and are perpetually concerned with the opinions of others, fearful that they will become the subject of gossip. These concerns frequently bind individuals to the outside world and impede their ability to be true to themselves.

Indeed, it is typical for individuals to desire approval and admiration from those in their immediate vicinity. However, if one becomes unduly preoccupied with the opinions of others, it can result in a loss of authenticity.

As adults, it is imperative to adhere to one's heart's desires in all matters. External judgments are inevitable, but they can be mitigated to a certain extent as long as one is at peace with oneself.

2. It would be beneficial to inquire of oneself what factors initially attracted one to the other person.

From the initial stages of their relationship, when they were merely strangers, to the point of becoming a couple, they must have been attracted to and admired each other in some way before deciding to proceed. Therefore, it is important to consider what initially attracted and impressed you about the other person. What are the qualities you value most about her?

It would be beneficial to consider the other person's perspective and inquire as to what they value most about you.

One must attempt to persuade oneself that one is genuinely content with the other person and that one feels warm and cared for. However, one cannot help but observe the wrinkles around the corners of her mouth. It is true that age is apparent to all and that it is normal to have a few wrinkles around the eyes or mouth.

I empathize with your sentiments. If you are genuinely concerned about age, it may be necessary to move on. If you wish to persist, it may be helpful to reassess your perspective and identify factors beyond age that are important to you.

3. It is also important to explore one's inner self.

It would be beneficial to take this opportunity to inquire of oneself what kind of girl one truly finds appealing.

Please describe your future plans.

Please indicate your anticipated age at the time of marriage. Additionally, describe the characteristics you believe are essential for a prospective spouse.

Please describe your most profound emotional response to your current romantic partner.

One might inquire whether the individual would be better off if they were to end the relationship.

It is imperative to gain an understanding of one's own identity. This entails contemplating one's genuine preferences and aspirations.

What type of individual do you aspire to encounter and what kind of lifestyle do you desire? What matters to you most?

One might inquire as to the motivation behind such a strong emotional response.

4. Cultivate the ability to discern one's own inner voice.

Our minds are rife with judgment and negative thinking. It is therefore imperative to learn to let our "sixth sense" make decisions for us, rather than relying on our mind to analyze and analyze before making a decision. Our bodies are wise. It is therefore crucial to learn to listen to the voice of our body, which is also our sixth sense. When our minds are quiet, as they often are during meditation or when we are sitting in silence, the voice deep within is often right, and the choice made at this time is often also right.

Ultimately, it is my hope that all individuals will become self-sufficient and resilient, living their lives according to their own values and not allowing external opinions to dictate their actions.

I wish you the best of luck!

It is important to understand the nature of the relationship in order to make informed decisions.

First, terminate the current relationship and define your emotional requirements.

The aspects of the relationship that you find appealing and those that you do not are both influencing your decision-making, leaving you in a position where you are unable to make a clear choice.

Often, the difficulty at this time is due to a lack of clarity from the relevant authorities. Therefore, if possible, set aside the various considerations you have already made about this relationship and focus on your personal emotional needs.

This section can be combined with past experiences of forming relationships, including instances where a positive impression was formed but no formal relationship was established, or where a positive impression was formed but no relationship was initiated. It is important to understand your genuine needs in a relationship. These can include, but are not limited to:

Appearance

The desire for youth, beauty, and fashion is a common aspiration among individuals. As the adage goes, "everyone has a heart for beauty."

2. Financial Strength

Regardless of whether you are currently in debt, content with your current financial situation, or aiming to become financially independent, or whether you want your financial situation to be at a level that is not too different from that of others, it is important to understand that everyone's expectations and needs are different.

3. Personality and temperament

It is important to consider whether there is a positive or negative dynamic between the two parties, whether the relationship is conducive to relaxation or stressful, and whether there is a complementary or similar relationship between the two. These factors often require attention when returning to the relationship.

4. Alignment of values

The ability to agree on a perspective and point of view, to convince each other, and to make decisions such as whether to spend money or live life to the fullest are all factors that affect the compatibility and longevity of a relationship.

When you rank these four dimensions (please feel free to add any other concerns you may have), you can prioritize what you can give up and what you must insist on.

Then, rank the four dimensions (if there are any that you consider important, you may add them) in order of importance. You can then decide what to give up and what to hold on to, given your limited resources.

Furthermore, this section can be scored to ascertain the relative importance of these dimensions in your decision-making process.

2. Evaluate the current relationship in light of the influence of time, and ascertain its position in your heart.

2. Evaluate the current relationship in light of the time dimension to ascertain its position in your heart.

Once you have identified the aspects of the relationship that are non-negotiable and those that can be compromised, you can then evaluate the current relationship in a more objective manner. This process can help to clarify any confusion or uncertainty that may have been present previously.

In this process, it is essential to consider the impact of time on the aforementioned dimensions. For instance, over time, one's wealth will accumulate, the other person will age, and even if a new romantic interest is acquired, the same state of aging and fading beauty will eventually occur.

From a more comprehensive perspective, it will be easier to distinguish between what is temporary and what is a more fundamental issue that will persist regardless of the other person involved.

3. Allow yourself sufficient time to gain a realistic understanding of the relationship.

From the comments, it is evident that you and your girlfriend have been dating for less than two months, which is still relatively short for a relationship. Given this, there is no need to rush into making any decisions.

Instead, allow yourself the opportunity to experience what it is like to be in the company of the other person and to ascertain whether the aspects of the above dimensions that you consider important can be addressed or resolved during these interactions.

It is also important to remember that relationships are a two-way street. One's own thoughts can sometimes overlook the role of the other person in the relationship.

It would be beneficial to communicate more with your girlfriend to gain insight into her perspective. These exchanges will also help you to gain a clearer picture of whether the relationship aligns with your expectations.

I am a psychologist who does not delve into the intricacies of human nature, but rather focuses on the emotional well-being of individuals. I extend my best wishes to you.

As a psychologist, I am not concerned with the intricacies of human nature. My focus is on the human heart. I wish you well.

I can see you're scared, disgusted, and confused.

Your girlfriend is seven years older than you. You think she is simple and loves you. But you are afraid and want to break up.

You're introverted and socially anxious. You care about what others think. You worry that they'll think your girlfriend is old and ugly.

You can't make her go to the gym or get a makeover. You can't ignore other people's stares.

Your girlfriend has a boyfriend, and you care about his feelings. You can't break up with him right away.

My girlfriend has mentioned marriage to her mother. She says it's okay if we don't get married, but I worry that I'm not experienced enough.

Realize your true thoughts.

I tried to convince myself I was happy with her and that I loved her.

I kept looking at the wrinkles around her mouth and the age spots on her face.

Was it about worrying about other people's opinions or the fact that his girlfriend was seven years older?

You say you want to let go, so why can't you? Think about why you can't.

If you want to let go, why do you feel pressured to get married soon?

It may be easier to help you make the right choice by knowing what you want.

reconsider your relationship with your girlfriend

You think your girlfriend is simple and has always loved you.

Your girlfriend has a boyfriend and doesn't plan to break up with him.

Is your girlfriend really as loving as you say? What is your relationship with her?

Why did your girlfriend say it was okay if you didn't get together?

What scares you?

You should rethink your relationship with your girlfriend. If you take what you need, it'll be easier for you both.

Is it love or just an exchange of interests?

Maybe you think your girlfriend is simple and loves you, and you're happy together.

Your girlfriend won't change or leave her boyfriend.

You can't ignore her wrinkles and spots. So what keeps you apart? Is it love? Or a mutual exchange of interests?

Think about this. Trust your feelings, know what you want, face reality, and you'll make the right choice.

Best wishes!