My mother has too strong a hold on me, I feel like I'm about to break under the pressure, and I want to leave this world.

I extend a warm greeting from afar.

I am gratified to observe that you have sought assistance, and it is my hope that the insights I offer will prove beneficial and supportive. From your account, it is evident that you are experiencing a profound sense of emotional distress, including feelings of intense inner turmoil, anger, resentment, helplessness, and a profound longing for respect and understanding in the face of a highly controlling mother.

The foundation of change is acceptance. At this time, your mother's markedly strong desire to control you has resulted in significant challenges and distress.

It is important to understand that the concepts of control and being controlled are mutually restrictive. From the perspective of an adult child, it is evident that a mother's desire to exert control over her child is deeply rooted in her parenting style, which has been shaped by her own experiences. This control can be beneficial in certain circumstances, such as when a child does not have to make numerous decisions or assume responsibility for them. However, as children grow older, they may perceive this as an infringement on their autonomy. It is crucial to recognize that the desire for control is not inherently negative. It is a natural human tendency to seek stability and guidance in our lives. When a mother provides this stability and guidance, it can be beneficial for her child. However, as children mature, they may begin to perceive this control as an interference in their ability to make decisions and assume responsibility for their actions. This shift in perspective is a natural part of the parenting-child relationship. It is essential for children to understand and accept the benefits of their mother's control over them, while also recognizing the need for them to become independent individuals with the capacity to make their own choices and assume responsibility for them.

It is therefore essential to acknowledge and accept the benefits of one's mother's control over them throughout their life. Only when this has been achieved can one begin to let go of their resistance to their mother's desire for control and instead direct their energy towards seeking more effective ways to facilitate change and personal growth.

It is evident that the current situation presents a significant challenge for both you and your mother in terms of overcoming your mother's desire to exert control. Despite your strong opposition to your mother's control over you, it is essential to strive to align your actions with your heart's desires. The process of making independent choices and decisions for one's own life can be daunting, and it is natural to experience feelings of apprehension, concern, and self-doubt.

One may attempt to begin with relatively minor issues, such as the choice of attire, hairstyle, or cuisine, with the aim of fostering mutual adaptation between the two parties. However, it is inevitable that such attempts will encounter resistance from the mother. In such instances, it is essential to maintain a balance between gentleness and firmness in one's stance. While maintaining a gentle attitude, it is crucial to assert a clear and unwavering position. It is important to resist the temptation to yield one's choices and decisions due to the influence of the mother.

It is recommended that the reader familiarize themselves with the texts "The Bond of Maternal Love" and "A Life Not Controlled by Parents."

I am Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. I extend my love to the world and to you.