My son is 14 years old and in the second year of junior high school. He has not attended school for a month. How can he return?

The child is not going to school, refuses to communicate, is grumpy, and is avoiding you. This makes you anxious and worried. I have the following suggestions:

If you think your child has a mental illness, go to a psychiatric hospital. Be honest with the doctor. If the doctor says to take medicine or go to a hospital, do it. Do not stop taking the medicine without permission.

Second, children who hate their parents and cannot communicate with them can drive people crazy. These kinds of family relationships are not created overnight, and parents need to make changes now.

(1) Parents should try to get along. They should not yell at each other or blame each other. They should discuss everything together and not blame each other.

(2) Don't regret your past mistakes as a parent. It's useless, and it makes your child confused.

(3) You must take care of your child.

(4) Don't punish or intimidate your child.

Don't neglect your children or let them run wild. It's irresponsible.

Don't make your child feel guilty.

(7) Think differently. Imagine you are the child. What do you want? What do you dislike about your parents?

The situation is bad, but it can change. Parents must think, stay calm, and not panic. Apologize to your child for past mistakes, even small ones.

Third, talk to the teacher and arrange for school enrollment if your child needs to be suspended or go on leave.

Fourth, don't share information about your child's situation with relatives. Give him a quiet space so he's not disturbed.

The pandemic is three years old, and there are economic problems at home and abroad. Parents work hard to make a living, and their children are a burden. Life is difficult for adults! I have given you many "don'ts," which are also restrictions and requirements for you as parents.

It's hard to do this! Your child is 14, which is a tough age for them. This is a chance for you to fix things. It won't happen overnight, so be patient.

Good day. I extend to you a warm greeting from a distance.

As a parent, you may experience anxiety and unease when your child is absent from school, faces social challenges at school, and is reluctant to communicate with you upon returning home. You may feel a need to provide your child with robust support and assistance, but are unsure of how to do so effectively.

From your description, it seems that the child is unable to establish positive social relationships with his classmates and teachers at school, which will undoubtedly impact his willingness to attend school. However, this is not the primary reason, as the child has not been strongly rejected by the school environment before.

A behavioral pattern will continue to repeat itself largely because the person involved has obtained something they want through this behavioral pattern. Given that the family is the primary source of emotional support for children, it is crucial for children to have a positive relationship with their parents. It is important to assess whether parents have provided their children with a warm and supportive family environment. Is the child's reluctance to attend school a way for him to cope with the conflicts in his parents' marriage?

Another factor to consider is whether you tend to ignore your child's words and actions in your usual family interactions, particularly when it comes to their emotional state. When a child feels ignored and uncared for at home, they may attempt to gain their parents' attention and care in various ways. What are your thoughts on this?

It is essential to provide your child with more positive responses and support in other areas, ensuring that they feel seen, valued, cared for, and noticed by their parents. This will help to eliminate the need for your child to seek attention in this way.

My name is Lily, and I am the Q&A Pavilion's designated listener. I extend my personal regards to you all, and I wish you well.

Hello.

Hearing that your child is not going to school makes you anxious.

Right?

What happened to your son a month ago?

Why was he reluctant to go to school?

I'm also curious about how the child's relationship with his parents changed.

?

From what you've said,

The child is sensitive to relationships.

He's also out of sync with his environment.

First, we need to know if the child

Is there a risk of mental illness?

If there is no history of mental illness in the family,

The child has no history of mental disorders.

If the child has a mental illness or mood disorder.

Drug treatment should be the main treatment, with psychotherapy.

Also, if the child has a normal personality

Maybe the child is dropping out of school and acting out.

Frustration in relationships causes social problems.

How should you handle your child's current situation?

The child's mood swings are large.

and to attack others.

To protect themselves.

Adolescence is a time of personality growth and change.

Internal conflicts come from many things.

For example, the desire for independence and financial dependence on the family.

They want to grow up but don't know who they are.

Submission to parents and wanting to be yourself.

Sex hormones also affect mood.

Children can't control their emotions.

Parents should pay attention to their children's emotions.

You need to understand why your child is feeling this way.

Respect your child's space.

Trying to get him out of bed may make him more rebellious.

Parents can't control everything, but they can calm down.

Anxiety affects children when parents are anxious.

This will make things worse.

After the child calms down, find a friend or classmate to talk to. Test the child's reaction.

What are you thinking?

If the child is emotionally unstable,

Strange behavior, confusion, and hallucinations.

Consider hospitalization.

The above analysis and suggestions are for reference only due to the limited nature of the information.

Hello, landlord. I advise you to communicate with your child promptly and calmly in person.

Don't reprimand or accuse in the name of communication.

First, you must analyze the problem in yourself. Are you too strict with your child? Second, you must have an open heart-to-heart talk with your child. Ask him why he is not going to school. Express your understanding and encouragement.

Your son's behavior indicates he has likely been bullied at school. Ask him directly if this is the case.

Use a gentle tone. Do not use coercive measures (such as threats) to force him to go to school. This will only provoke resistance.

Every child encounters various obstacles during their growth, but not every child is lucky enough to have someone to grow up with. There's no question that violence and scolding are not the right way to express love. Gentleness and patience are the way to go.

If we always scold our children for minor mistakes, it will cause psychological problems. Insignificant quantitative changes will definitely lead to qualitative changes.

Also, do not engage in superstitious activities to help your son get his life back on track. First, superstitious activities such as exorcism are a backward culture that will erode and corrupt our thinking, and will also have a bad influence on your son.

Second, superstitious activities are ineffective, costly, and waste precious time with your family.

If communication is ineffective, take your son to a local mental health clinic for timely treatment. The resentment he feels may not be a recent development. He may be dissatisfied with you as a father but has never expressed it, which has led to his current mania.

I know you will succeed!