Raging inside, desperately wanting to physically punish those who hurt me in the past?

Dear questioner, I want to offer you my deepest sympathies. It is undoubtedly painful to face these challenges as you navigate the journey of growing up.

I can sense that you are still affected by the insult they gave you, which has left you with psychological childhood-trauma-constantly-denied-by-family-members-yet-i-cant-let-it-go-7609.html" target="_blank">trauma. I also sense that you may be struggling with feelings of self-blame for not being able to protect yourself at that time, for not fighting back in time, and for giving them the opportunity to hurt you.

But, alas, we were young then and did not fully comprehend the nuances of the world around us. We were unaware that their actions were inappropriate, lacked the courage or ability to confront them, and did not have the support to heal and recover.

It's natural to wonder why they treated you the way they did. It's possible they weren't targeting you specifically. Many people are raised in families where they experience similar treatment from parents and relatives. Over time, they learn to interact with others in a similar way. At the time, you were still a child, so they may have felt they could vent their frustrations and resentments from childhood on you.

The original poster has come to recognize that this is not the right approach. It is understandable to feel angry about this behavior. However, it is important to remember that hurting others back by making yourself better is not the solution. It seems that you are not fully satisfied with yourself, as you have expressed feeling that you have not lived a good life.

However, you feel anger and a desire to prove that you are doing better than they are. You feel that you cannot yet prove this, so you want to destroy them and eliminate the anger in your heart.

It is also important to consider that destroying them may only result in further pain and suffering for all involved. Given the finite nature of life, it is perhaps understandable why we might hesitate to maintain harmful relationships.

It is not uncommon to encounter individuals who may not have the best intentions during our personal growth journey. As we mature, we often find ourselves in new environments and situations, and we have the opportunity to form relationships that truly align with our values and bring us joy. We can choose our own life goals, embrace the diversity of the world around us, and cultivate a sense of contentment in our lives.

I understand that the original poster may not be ready to forgive at this time. However, for the sake of a better life for ourselves, it might be helpful to try to let go of resentment, as it only hurts ourselves and does not affect them in any way. They may have already forgotten the insult to you and have no intention of comparing their lives to yours, as this is simply how they treat people.

It would be beneficial for us to try to let go of resentment and live the life we want to live. When you truly live the life you want to live, their influence on you will be negligible.

I hope you will be able to find ways to make yourself happy.

Hello!

Host:

I have carefully read the post and I can feel the passion inside the poster from the content! At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely expressed his inner feelings and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand and know himself.

So, you can make some awesome changes that'll really benefit you and help you become an even better version of yourself!

And now for something really exciting! I'm going to share my observations and thoughts in the post, which I think will really help the poster to view himself from a different perspective.

1. Ways to express anger

From the post, it's clear that the landlord's parents have been pushing him to his limits, and his aunt and her daughter have been hurling insults at him. It's no wonder he's feeling overwhelmed!

I totally get where the original poster is coming from. If it were me, I'd be feeling pretty fired up too!

And how should these feelings of anger be expressed? The famous psychologist Wu Zhihong says that if these feelings of anger are expressed inwardly, they will lead to self-attack.

And if they are expressed outwardly? They will attack others!

Then, we tore up everything we had written and imagined that we were scattering it. If we can see and express our emotions in a reasonable way, we will have more rationality to face our own distress and think about how to make ourselves better!

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4. Take responsibility for your own life!

We want to change for the better! To do that, we have to take responsibility for our own lives. No matter what they did to us in the past.

Whether or not we still use them on ourselves in the same way. I know this has caused the original poster a lot of pain, but there is hope!

But we have paid for these things with so many years of happiness and well-being. And now it's time to stop paying the price!

So, learn to make peace with yourself! Learn to take responsibility for your own life, your own emotions, and your own needs! In this way, we can take control of our own lives and gradually recover from the trauma of our family of origin. And you can do it!

5. Learn to improve yourself!

We may not have enough strength to let go of those traumas, but we are now grown up and have the ability and resources! We can change our internal relationship patterns through our own efforts, and we can heal our past traumas through our own care and love for ourselves.

There are so many ways we can help ourselves to improve and move on from our past traumas! We can study psychology, learn about the mind and psychology, and seek counseling. There are so many ways to help us improve and move on from our past traumas.

So go learn and improve yourself! This will make us better and better!

I really hope these will be of some help and inspiration to the poster! I'm a psychometric coach at Yi Xinli.

If you have any questions, I'd love to hear from you! Just click on Find a Coach to get in touch with me for one-on-one communication and feedback.

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Best regards,

After reviewing your account, I understand your frustration and resentment in light of the unfortunate incident. It is understandable that it would be challenging to forgive and move on from such a situation.

I empathize with your situation.

In the real world, many injuries, whether intentional or accidental, may cause the victim to experience ongoing pain that cannot be erased.

If you are unable to let go of the hatred you feel towards the person who hurt you, you may find the following points, based on my own experience, helpful.

1. Cultivate resilience.

It is important to gain useful knowledge through hard work and reading. Reading good books can help us gain a deeper understanding. When we gain more knowledge, we realize that the harm we have suffered is not just ours alone. Some may have suffered even worse than us, but they have not given up on themselves. They have not been truly defeated by those injuries and have become stronger over time.

It is important to cultivate and improve your various abilities, including your communication skills, problem-solving abilities, and resilience. When you improve these abilities, you become more capable, your horizons expand, and your understanding deepens. This allows you to move on from past challenges and pursue more meaningful endeavors.

2. Learn to redeem yourself with love.

You may believe that you have been a victim throughout your life and that you have never been loved. This can lead to the question of whether you can be redeemed. However, if you are full of love inside, you will have a radiance that is different from that of ordinary people. The state of being able to hold good thoughts after being hurt and living a strong and unyielding life is infectious.

"Hate will constantly pull you towards the abyss." This is a mantra I often repeat to myself. It is important to adopt a dialectical approach to life, recognising that every situation has both positive and negative aspects. This event may provide an opportunity to learn and grow, or alternatively, to turn hatred into strength and enrich your life powerfully.

A greater capacity for love will result in a reduction of hatred.

3. With the assistance of psychological knowledge, you can facilitate your own healing process.

It is important to acknowledge that some injuries or conditions are long-lasting and may have a significant impact on our lives. It is understandable that we may feel a sense of resentment towards these experiences, however, dwelling on these emotions can lead to a less positive outlook on life. It is crucial to recognize that these experiences have shaped our lives in ways that are worth embracing, rather than allowing them to negatively affect our mental and emotional well-being.

It is important to note that the facts of a situation cannot be changed. However, we can choose to let the impact of that situation on us become less and less significant. From the perspective of rational emotive therapy, it is not the situation itself that causes our emotions, but our interpretation of the situation. Therefore, if we want to change our emotions, we should not try to change the situation itself, but change our perception of the situation. It is essential to learn to look at the whole thing dialectically, and look at the good aspects in addition to the bad ones.

Secondly, I would recommend reading some books on healing, listening to some audiobooks on the same topic, and reading some related articles. If you feel it would be beneficial, you could even consider psychological counseling. All of these resources could help you live a better life.

Best regards,

Good day, host. I hope my response proves helpful.

I can discern that you are experiencing a great deal of dissatisfaction and anger. It appears that you are dissatisfied with the way you treat yourself, as you believe you have been treated similarly by others. In fact, you have already demonstrated an awareness of this if you can see it. It is important to recognize that your thoughts are not an accurate reflection of who you are, and that your thinking patterns can be modified. The responsibility for this lies with you. You are the master of your own thoughts, and you are fully capable of changing the way you treat yourself. You can begin to adjust it from now on.

Please find below some suggestions for your consideration:

It is important to accept your past and those with whom you have differences of opinion.

In fact, you are angry at them, but this results in an emotional self-attack. They remain unchanged, but you are constantly troubled, constrained by powerful negative energy, unable to do many things you really want to do. And you know what?

It is important to accept your past and those who have caused you pain. This does not mean condoning their actions, but rather allowing yourself to move forward. When you can truly understand and accept them, you will feel much more relaxed and be able to live the life you want to live.

As stated in "A Change of Heart," there are three categories of affairs: one's own, others', and those of a spiritual nature. Disturbance arises when we fail to control our own affairs, instead focusing on the affairs of others and matters of a spiritual nature.

It is not within our power to control the thoughts and actions of others. Each individual is an independent entity, shaped by a multitude of factors including genetics, upbringing, education, and the surrounding environment. Consequently, they are who they are. If they do not wish to change, there is little we can do to influence that.

The thoughts and actions of other individuals are not within our control. Each person is an independent entity, shaped by a multitude of factors including genetics, upbringing, education, and the surrounding environment. Consequently, they are who they are. If they are not amenable to change, there is little we can do to influence that.

While it is not possible to change others, it is possible to change oneself. One can attempt to accept others and express one's needs and feelings to them.

When you accept them for who they are, you will be less likely to be disgusted by their behavior. You will be able to remain calm because you will understand that this is simply their natural behavior. They may not be the way you want them to be, and they may have limitations. However, they care about and love you, even if they express their love in a way that is different from what you expect.

2. It would be beneficial to identify a more constructive method for releasing your anger.

Your impulsive thoughts indicate a high level of anger. This anger is likely the result of a lack of expression, which has led to its suppression. It is important to identify more constructive methods for releasing emotions and to implement them regularly to achieve effective and lasting results.

1. It is important to associate with individuals who can provide support and encouragement, as well as those with whom you feel comfortable. These are the individuals who can help you navigate challenges and confusion.

2. Engage in physical activity, participate in your preferred sports, and promote relaxation of the body and mind through exercise.

3. Writing therapy: Document all inner feelings and thoughts on paper. The quality of the handwriting and the logic of the content are irrelevant. The objective is to express feelings as much as possible.

4. Utilize a pillow or sandbag to release pent-up anger through controlled physical exertion.

5. The empty chair technique can be used to release emotions. In a room, place an empty chair, assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in the chair. You can then express yourself to the chair (anger, abuse, etc. are fine).

5. The empty chair technique can be used to release emotions. In a room, place an empty chair, assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in the chair. You can then express yourself to the chair (anger, abuse, etc. are fine).

3. Articulate your feelings and requirements in a manner that is non-violent and effective.

The steps of non-violent communication are as follows: state the objective facts, express your feelings, express your needs, and request the other person to take action.

You can say to your mother, "Mum, when you... you ignored me because of... (state the objective facts, being careful not to accuse or judge). I feel bad, a little aggrieved, and a little angry (express your true feelings). I hope you can provide more support, care about me, and value me (express your needs). Could you provide more care and support?

When you understand each other's needs and feelings in this way, you will find that your emotional bond will become even stronger, and you will gain a deeper understanding and knowledge of each other. You can also encourage them to express their feelings and thoughts. Perhaps they did not intend to cause you distress, and there was a misunderstanding. Only this kind of open and honest communication can foster a stronger connection and convey the love and warmth between you.

Best regards,

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

You're going through some growth issues. I'm here to give you another warm hug.

It's crucial to understand your anger. Please accept my hug, even though we're separated by a screen.

You feel like it's not fair that your loved ones haven't been punished for hurting you.

If you want to hurt them, you'll be punished instead. For example, you'll be sent to prison, which is really not worth it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying you shouldn't express your anger.

You need to express your anger, but in a different way.

For instance, you could go for a good, sweaty boxing session. You could also kick a sandbag or hit a punching bag.

Another option is the "empty chair technique."

The "empty chair technique" is where you sit in a chair and imagine the relatives who have hurt you sitting in another empty chair. Then you tell them everything you want to say to them.

If you're not sure how to use the "empty chair technique" described above, I suggest reaching out to a professional counselor.

You can also talk to your inner child and tell the part of you that was hurt by loved ones that you were young and not able to protect yourself.

And then I told my inner child, who's now grown up, that I'm capable of protecting myself.

I think I saw a teacher here on the platform recently. There's a link to register for one of his "Embrace Your Inner Child" courses.

I think this course might be useful for you, so you can take a look at it.

I really hope you can find a solution to the problem you're facing soon.

That's all I can think of right now.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I'm here to help, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Best wishes!