Should one teach the visitor how to do it when providing consultation, or guide them in thinking?

Hello, landlord, I'm Xiang Er.

Your warm and helpful heart is evident in those few lines of text. You're genuinely engaged in the profession of psychological counseling to help others, and I commend you for that!

When I was studying psychological counseling, my teacher often talked about our mission, which is to help others help themselves. We're there to help the client achieve the goal of self-help.

The most basic principle of psychological counseling is helping people help themselves. The process of psychological counseling is all about self-awareness and self-growth for the client. We need to help the client figure out why this is the case and what to do in the future.

As a counselor, it's natural to want to help clients directly from the start. We want to take them away from negative emotions and give them methods and advice. This is the fastest way to solve their current problems. We can give clients direct advice, but we're not the best suited to do so. For one thing, clients may lose their ability to make decisions and become reliant on us. For another, clients know themselves best. They know their experiences and feelings best. Clients are responsible for their own lives. We can't make decisions for them.

It's better to teach someone to fish than to give them fish. Of course, giving them fish (advice) can solve their hunger (emotional problems), but if you're not there, they may starve to death. So it's better to teach them how to fish so that they can help themselves.

Hello, host. Thank you for your question. I've been thinking about this recently and would like to share my thoughts.

What is a counselor's role?

(1) During training, the teacher asked, "What is a counselor's role?" People said teacher, expert, companion, leader, etc. Each role corresponds to a response. If we regard ourselves as a teacher or expert, we may fall into the "trap" of the client. What should I do if the client comes to visit? I should teach the client what to do. In this situation, it is easy to solve the problem.

(2) But if you give advice, you might ask, "What's the best advice for the visitor?" Or if the counselor doesn't know what to do, how can they respond?

It can feel difficult to give advice when you don't know how.

(3) If the counselor is good at this, they can easily give advice that the client will accept. This makes the relationship feel unequal, with the counselor telling the client what to do.

(4) The teacher says the counselor should reflect the client's emotions and help them find solutions. I didn't understand how to do this at first because I wanted to help the client right away.

I realized this is my response, not the client's. I should see what the client is and wants, not think about what they need.

(5) So, back to your first question, "Should we teach visitors how to do it, or guide them to think about what they should do through questions?" Teaching visitors how to do it puts the counselor in the role of a teacher, which may lead to the above two traps.

I prefer the latter approach, guiding the visitor to think through questions so they can find the problem and answer themselves.

How to avoid giving wrong guidance in counseling

(1) I can feel a kind of concern in this question. Although relying on psychological knowledge can achieve good results, what if there is a "survivor bias" situation? I feel that our incomplete access to information may lead to errors in our perception, which will affect the client.

(2) This question also reminds me of a saying my teacher used to say: When we respond to the client, we are empathizing with them and checking to see if our feedback is consistent with what they describe. All feedback is based on the client because we are playing the role of a mirror, not a teacher or an expert.

(3) So, if our advice is wrong, we'll only find out when we check with the client. If we do, we can change it. The most important thing is to check with the client.

Counseling is about becoming a mirror for the client.

I hope these insights help.

Hello, question asker!

When it comes to counseling, we have to mention Freud. He is the founder of our school of psychology and psychoanalysis.

Psychological counseling is designed to help people help themselves. This means that the counselor uses a series of psychological techniques to help the client enter a state of subconsciousness, identify the problem, and then help the client change the cognitive errors in the problem, input correct cognitive concepts, and solve the problem in the subconscious mind. This is how psychological problems are solved.

For example, Freud used the method of free association. Anna was a nurse and a visitor of Freud's teacher.

During the consultation, Anna experienced transference, so Freud's teacher had to hand her over to Freud. Freud knew his teacher's method of entering the subconscious of the visitor through hypnosis was too time-consuming. He was certain the effect of hypnosis could be achieved through the method of free association. When Freud asked Anna to think of something for the first time using free association, after a series of word associations, he said the word "water," and Anna blurted out, "dog."

From water to dogs, the connection is absurd, and both Freud and Anna were taken aback. Freud demanded to know why Anna thought of dogs.

Anna informed Freud that during his visit to a friend's house, he had inadvertently observed her friend giving the dog a drink from the same glass she had used to drink water. Anna was deeply uncomfortable and firmly believed that her friend was being extremely inconsiderate by giving her a drink from the same glass as the dog.

From then on, Anna never drank water again. She had fruit juice instead. Freud told Anna that there were several water glasses like the one she used at her friend's house, but the one she used was just similar in shape to the one the dog drank from.

If you can't get over the hurdle at a friend's house, don't drink water there. There's no need to avoid water elsewhere. Anna thought about it and it made sense.

Freud cured Anna's problem with not drinking water.

The goal of helping visitors use psychological methods to grow themselves so they can help others is a topic that will never change.

I am your guiding light. The world and I love you.

Greetings, I am the conduit to the primordial essence of the heart.

Upon examination of the question, it becomes evident that the questioner is uncertain about the intricacies of the psychological counseling process.

The question of whether to provide the client with instructions or simply pose questions to stimulate reflection and insight.

It is of the utmost importance that counselors always bear in mind that the interests of the client must be placed above all else.

In light of the aforementioned, it is preferable to assist visitors in evaluating the relative merits of alternative options rather than instructing them in the specifics of a given task. Ultimately, however, the decision rests with the visitor.

In regard to the use of questions, it is essential to employ them in order to stimulate cognitive processes or to ascertain the client's genuine thoughts, emotions, and necessities.

Conversely, disparate schools of thought espouse disparate approaches.

Psychoanalysis posits that psychological problems emerge from unconscious conflicts. Consequently, the analysis of childhood experiences, recurring events, dreams, and other materials can facilitate the conscious processing of the unconscious, thereby restoring internal balance.

Humanism posits that each individual is the optimal agent for resolving their own issues and possesses an inherent drive for self-actualization. Consequently, nurturing an individual akin to tending to a seed entails providing them with respect, sincerity, enthusiasm, empathy, understanding, and active attention, while allowing them the space to flourish.

The cognitive school of thought posits that psychological distress is caused by issues with an individual's internal cognitive schemas. The process can be described as follows: a stimulus is initially evaluated by the brain, which then triggers emotions and behaviors.

Consequently, in order to resolve an individual's psychological issues, it is essential to persistently examine their cognitive processes and implement suitable modifications to attain the desired outcome of treatment.

Behaviorism posits that human psychology and behavior are influenced by the situation (environmental determinism). Consequently, it places an emphasis on behavior training, which encompasses the modeling of normative behavior, systematic desensitization, and behavioral guidance.

Therefore, psychological counseling is a relatively specialized field of practice, distinct from the provision of informal advice or the management of behavior.

Should the questioner wish to gain a more profound comprehension of psychological counseling, they are encouraged to pursue a detailed examination of a specific counseling school.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance to you. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Hello? Questioner, I can feel your confusion from your description. Let me give you a warm hug, shall I?

1.

Questioning and dialogue with a counselor can and will soften and change the client's rigid ideas, giving them a new perspective on the original problem. This, in turn, influences and promotes change in the client.

2. The counselor's clever questions have the power to move mountains with just a little effort. It's clear that the counselor's questions are an essential tool for psychological counseling and an effective lever for change. Small questions solve big problems and small questions promote big changes.

Do a good job in counseling. Ask good questions!

3.

The counselor's clever questions are essential for effective counseling.

They can also promote the client's thinking.

The visitor's mental block was loosened.

The visitor's thinking space was expanded.

Do not disturb the client's original ideas.

4

The counselor will discuss and focus on the topic with the visitor according to the topic of the visitor's consultation. Through questioning, the counselor will bring the visitor new perspectives or restore some details that have been overlooked, leading the visitor to explore.

5.

Questioning techniques are an essential part of psychological counseling. The counselor should have a list of questions they want to ask the client. The content and method of questioning can have a significant impact on the entire counseling process. The counselor should ask appropriate and timely questions to guide the conversation to a deeper level and elicit more information. The client should reflect deeply on themselves and become more self-aware. This helps them face rather than avoid their feelings and problems, which is essential for the smooth progress of counseling.

6.

There are two main types of questioning techniques: open-ended and closed-ended questions.

Use open-ended questions. They usually use words like "what," "how," "why," "can," "would," and "like." This encourages the client to open up actively and freely, and naturally talk more about the relevant situation, thoughts, emotions, etc.

Do not ask multiple questions at once. This will only confuse the client.

7.

As the conversation progresses, closed questions are used to collect and organize information, clarify facts, get to the point, and narrow the scope of the discussion. They are also used to appropriately interrupt the visitor's narrative when it strays from the topic at hand and to prevent the conversation from becoming too personal.

Closed-ended questions are typically phrased in a direct manner, using words such as "Is it?", "Do you want it?", "Is there any?", and "Is it right?", and the answers are often simple "Yes" or "No" responses.

I wish you all the best! I am confident that my sharing will be helpful and inspiring.

Hello, problem owner. I can see you're feeling judged by what I've written. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. Many psychological counselors initially face the same confusion you are. I'm offering my opinions in the hope that they will be of help to you.

Let's talk about "survivor bias."

The screening process is usually unconscious, so it's easy to overlook it and fall into cognitive errors. This is simply a matter of generalizing from partial information. If we don't pay attention to screening these biased factors in life or work, we'll draw incorrect conclusions that will affect our decision-making and judgment.

We are trained to make good use of the information in front of us and ignore what we don't see. In this regard, we can and should use the "reverse learning method" – from the example of survivor bias, we must learn from the failures of others and avoid the pitfalls of those who have gone before us.

Once a choice has been made based on the guidance of the counselor's professional knowledge and values, the client will follow their own wishes.

Let me be clear: psychological counseling is not about asking questions and waiting for the counselor to provide answers. It is about guiding the client to solve problems using their own strength.

1⃣ We guide the visitor to talk about the real self. This language communication is based on the visitor's trust in us and is voluntary.

2⃣ Cultivate the self-help awareness of visitors. Visitors must understand and accept the concept of inner strength in psychological counseling.

Psychological counseling is about helping the client understand themselves better and helping themselves. It is not about blindly seeking help from the counselor.

3⃣ The counselor must maintain a neutral attitude. A non-judgmental attitude is essential for creating a relaxed environment where the seeker can feel at ease. During the reception, questioning, and listening process, the counselor's words, tone of voice, facial expressions, body movements, etc. must not show any bias or preference for any type of problem.

4⃣ During the session, the counselor must focus on the topic at hand and refrain from interjecting personal opinions or making absolute conclusions.

The final decision is always made by the client.

5⃣ Distinguish and identify the content of the meeting. Recognize that what the client thinks and what the client actually does may not be completely consistent. The client may exaggerate the extent of the thoughts expressed during the meeting.

Psychological counselors must receive regular psychological supervision.

Psychological counselors must receive regular psychological supervision at the beginning and during their careers. This is a crucial measure of qualification, and it is an even more essential professional requirement for psychological counseling. Experienced psychological supervisors can swiftly guide those new to the psychological counseling industry, helping them adapt to their work. They can also support more experienced psychological counselors in further developing their professional skills and mental health literacy.

The world is beautiful and intertwined with you. Everything will be fine in the future. The world and I love you.

Hello, question asker! I'm happy to answer your question.

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner has some concerns about aspects of counseling and is unsure of how to address them. It might be helpful to offer the questioner some encouragement and support, and to encourage them to continue on their journey towards becoming a counselor.

It is not uncommon for novice counselors to encounter challenges when they first start out, and it can be difficult to know what to do in these situations. It is natural to feel a bit confused at first. In my experience, most counselors have gone through something similar at some point. I believe it can be beneficial for novice counselors to have their own supervisor when doing counseling. This could be a peer supervisor, a group supervisor, or even a personal supervisor if finances allow.

Given that the question was posed on the platform, should the counselor provide direct advice or encourage the visitor to reflect on the matter? I will briefly share with the questioner what I know.

In fact, during our psychology education, our teacher often mentioned an ethical principle, which we understood to be the principle of value neutrality.

The principle of value neutrality requires that the counselor try to avoid interfering with the client's values. This means that in the counseling process, the counselor should respect the client's values, avoid using their own value standards to make arbitrary value judgments about the client's behavior, and refrain from forcing the client to accept their own views and attitudes.

In the event that the client's values appear to conflict with their own or those of society, it would be advisable for the counselor to treat the client with a non-judgmental attitude of understanding, acceptance, and respect.

On this basis, analysis and comparison are carried out, and the client is guided to judge for themselves whether to accept or reject a proposition, and ultimately make their own choice. In order to better deal with the issue of the client's values in counseling practice, it would be beneficial to look at some generally accepted principles for dealing with value interference in Western counseling practice:

1. It would be beneficial for the counselor to be highly aware of their own values and sensitive to value issues in counseling. By knowing one's own value orientation, one can remain vigilant when faced with value issues. Similarly, by being sensitive to the value choices faced by the client, one can gain insight into the impact one's own values may have on the client.

2. It is important to recognize the right to diverse value orientations, while also being mindful of certain value orientations that may not align with the mainstream culture of the client.

3. With regard to value-related matters, counselors are encouraged to engage in open and transparent dialogue with their clients, taking care to avoid imposing their personal values on their clients in either an intentional or unintentional manner. Counselors bear the responsibility to engage in discussion with their clients, present them with a range of potential options, and then respect their autonomy in making the final decision, thereby allowing clients to enjoy the freedom of choice and decision-making.

4. When making value judgments during the consultation process, it would be beneficial to consider values that are relatively universal in significance, such as respect for human life, respect for truth, respect for freedom and autonomy, keeping promises and obligations, caring for the weak and helpless, caring for human growth and development, caring for others from harm, caring for human dignity and equality, caring for gratitude and reciprocity, and caring for human freedom.

Of course, when consulting, the most common thing visitors do is hope that the counselor will give them advice on what to do. At this time, we cannot directly give advice or tell them what is best. Instead, we let them consider how to make a choice based on their situation, and at this time we can use some neutral techniques to answer the visitor.

While observing the principle of value neutrality is important, it is not an absolute necessity. There are also special circumstances where it may not be applicable.

I would like to present a hypothetical situation to illustrate this point. Imagine a client who is seeking revenge and even considering killing someone because his wife is having an affair with someone else. In such a case, the counselor should not simply apply the principle of value neutrality and say that it is up to the client to decide whether or not to kill someone. Instead, the counselor should provide guidance and support the client in developing a positive, reasonable, and effective approach to solving the problem. In this example, we did not adhere to the practice of value neutrality, but I believe it was the appropriate course of action.

Similarly, a high school student who has a conflict with his parents over internet addiction and comes to the counselor troubled should be given guidance that is appropriate to their needs. In my opinion, adolescents often require guidance and support, and when they seek help from a counselor, it is our responsibility to provide them with the guidance they need.

In essence, the value-neutral principle is based on the premise that the physical and mental health of the individual seeking assistance is optimized. It also serves as an effective boundary for providing support to others. By understanding this principle, the individual in need of guidance can gain the confidence that they, too, will find a path to fulfillment.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner.

Hello, question asker!

This is a great question! In their work, counselors should focus more on helping clients think positively, inspiring, and encouraging them. When you tell someone what to do, it's from your perspective and your values. You think it's good for them and useful, but it may not actually be useful for them. They are the experts in their own lives and know better what's going on. Your advice to them is just your values and your methods. That method or advice may be useful to you, but it may not be useful for everyone.

That's why I often hear teachers say that in counseling, it's important to listen more, speak less, and comment less. It's also essential to inspire more, preach less, encourage the visitor more, express personal opinions less, and ask open questions more, closed questions less.

Counselors should maintain an open and inclusive attitude, be aware of and control their own narcissism at all times, and clearly understand that the purpose of counseling is to help people help themselves. It is to inspire the client and give him the ability to cope with the difficulties in his own life, rather than us helping him directly to come up with solutions to every problem in his life. We can't do that, and the plans we come up with may not be suitable for him—but that's okay!

The counselor should discuss certain problems and confusions with the client, based on discussion and with the goal of inspiring. This is an amazing opportunity for the counselor to explore solutions to these difficulties and problems from different perspectives, discovering their positive and constructive significance.

And encourage the visitor to come up with their own conclusions and think for themselves!

You can try to express different opinions by asking questions, and use questions to show the visitor the subconscious behind the consciousness; the thinking and emotions behind the behavior. The response of the counselor to the visitor probably includes three parts: empathy, questioning, and exploration. Obviously, lecturing is not the job of a counselor, which is great because it means you can focus on the positive aspects of the role!

The purpose of discussion and conversation in the process is not to prove who is right or wrong, but to help the client understand themselves better. To see their current situation, reflect on and improve their state, and have a better life!

If counseling is just preaching, it's like the political and religious director we had when we were in school. I'm sure no one wants to go to counseling again, right? Of course, depending on the school of thought, some also need to appropriately guide visitors on what to do, but as far as I know, this is a small minority.

I really hope this has been a little enlightening for you!

Good morning, host. Thank you for your question, which has also prompted me to reflect. I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you.

I previously engaged in discussion with a senior psychological counselor who stated that truly effective counseling is not about instructing the client on a specific course of action. Instead, the counselor must serve as a mirror, maintaining a consistent and unwavering presence regardless of the client's reactions. This requires a value-neutral stance and an unconditional acceptance of the client. In addition to this, the counselor must establish a positive and productive relationship with the client to encourage them to openly express their inner feelings and thoughts. This is essential for the success of the counseling process. In summary, the counselor's role is not to instruct the client on how to act but to facilitate a constructive and supportive counseling relationship. This enables the client to gain insight into their own thoughts and emotions, release pent-up emotions through appropriate counseling techniques, understand their subconscious thoughts, and gain a deeper understanding of themselves. Over time, the client will be better equipped to find their own solutions and make informed decisions.

Therefore, clients will have different options for addressing the same issue. For instance, when considering whether to continue a marriage or end it, some will choose to stay, some will choose to leave, and some will opt to continue for a period and observe the outcome. The decision ultimately rests with the client, based on their own considerations and perceived as the best course of action. There is no right or wrong, and the counselor will not provide a definitive answer. Instead, after counseling, the client will make their own choice and accept responsibility for the outcome.

It is therefore important to understand that the fundamental work of psychological counseling is to help people detach themselves from the events that cause suffering, see their own value, summarize the fundamental problems of a failed relationship, better accept themselves, improve their ability to face problems and solve them, and ultimately enable them to solve their own problems on their own. It is not the role of the counselor to take care of everything.

This is also an important indicator of the standardization and professionalism of the institution or counselor in question.

Psychological counseling is a process that utilizes psychological principles and methods to address the client's psychological issues. It goes beyond merely treating symptoms to delve into the root causes of these outward manifestations. This approach enables a deeper understanding of the problem and facilitates client growth and change.

Furthermore, the objective of psychological counseling is to assist individuals who are functioning within the normal range of intelligence and brain function.

If the client's intelligence is insufficient or if the psychological problems are caused by brain damage (such as schizophrenia), then the client should be referred to the appropriate medical professional, such as a neurologist or psychiatrist. These specialists will provide the necessary medication and medical treatment. However, for severe depression, etc., drug treatment and psychological counseling work better together, because severe emotional distress can damage brain function.

If the client's intelligence is insufficient or if the psychological problems are caused by brain damage (such as schizophrenia), the client should be referred to the brain department of the hospital or the mental health center. These facilities provide medication and medical treatment. However, for severe depression, etc., drug treatment and psychological counseling work better together, because severe emotional distress can damage brain function.

Let us examine the operational model of psychological counseling.

1. The fundamental principle of psychological counseling is that it is initiated by the individual seeking assistance.

The definition of psychological counseling is clear: its purpose is to help visitors solve their psychological problems. However, in practice, many people with psychological issues do not seek help to address them.

The definition of psychological counseling clearly states that the objective of psychological counseling is to assist visitors in resolving their psychological issues. However, in practice, there are numerous individuals who experience psychological challenges but do not seek assistance.

In such cases, counselors must recognize their limitations and understand that counseling is only effective for those who are actively seeking help. For individuals with psychological issues who are not interested in or refuse assistance, it can be challenging for counselors to provide meaningful support.

2. The objective of a psychological counselor is to inspire and guide the seeker, enhance their psychological capabilities, facilitate their psychological growth, and assist them in resolving their own psychological issues.

Psychological counseling does not provide a definitive answer regarding the visitor's shortcomings. Instead, the counselor offers guidance and inspiration during the conversation, prompting the visitor to reflect and identify their own issues. This process of self-discovery is a key aspect of psychological counseling. It is not about providing education or preaching, nor is it about solving the visitor's psychological problems. Instead, it is about empowering the visitor to address their own issues.

3. It should be noted that psychological counseling is not social conversation.

Psychological counseling does assist visitors in resolving psychological issues through dialogue. However, the discourse between the counselor and the visitor is a professional interaction that must take place in a formal counseling room. Counseling conversations are purposefully structured to achieve specific outcomes. Guided by the counseling objectives, they employ a range of techniques to assist visitors in addressing their psychological concerns.

Verbal and nonverbal communication are both utilized in psychological counseling conversations, whereas social conversations between friends are casual, may lack a clear objective, and do not adhere to a strict set of principles.

4. Psychological counseling is not a logical analysis.

Some clients may seek psychological counseling to request the assistance of a counselor with psychological expertise to conduct an analysis of themselves or others. Some clients may even directly inform the counselor that they require assistance in analyzing their own or others' mental states.

Some clients may seek psychological counseling with the intention of requesting a counselor's psychological expertise to assist in self-analysis or the analysis of others. In some cases, clients may directly request assistance with mental clarity, stating, "My mind is in a state of disarray, so you can help me analyze it."

Some female clients request assistance in analyzing their husband's actual thoughts and feelings.

At this juncture, the counselor will facilitate the client's psychological growth through counseling, enabling the client to address their own psychological issues independently, rather than relying solely on the counselor's logical analysis to provide a solution.

5. Psychological counseling is not about relieving visitors of their problems.

Some clients may believe that, having paid the consultation fee, the counselor is obliged to provide solutions. In fact, the objective of psychological counseling is to enable clients to help themselves. This is known as "teaching them to fish." The goal is to help clients grow, improve their ability to recognize and solve problems, adjust and control their emotions, establish a sound personality, improve their psychological quality, and ultimately help them solve psychological and specific problems and gain a healthy and happy life.

Psychological counseling is not about providing direct assistance. It is not about giving the help-seeker the answers they seek. It is not about helping the help-seeker avoid trouble and reduce difficulties. Psychological counseling should be about taking action and avoiding action.

6. Psychological counseling is not an educational service.

Perhaps you came to the consultation with the intention of receiving education, as though attending a training course to learn a specific skill.

It is important to note that while a counselor may be able to provide some psychological knowledge that a seeker lacks, counseling is not education. The counselor does not act as an educator in the traditional sense, such as a teacher or coach. Instead, in an equal counseling relationship, the counselor will encourage the seeker to explore themselves and solve problems on their own, or prompt the seeker to educate themselves.

The above represents some of the information I have learned. I hope it proves useful to you. Best regards,

Hello!

You've asked a great question.

A counselor may be more capable than a client when it comes to psychological problems and difficult life situations.

However, solutions depend on the client, the support they get, and other factors. This is why one-on-one psychological counseling is the best way to help people.

This approach is about guiding visitors to find the best method for them.

In psychology, the client brings their own resources and solutions.

However, visitors are often unable to clear their own patterns and see their own state. At this time, counselors can help visitors understand themselves, see themselves, find their own resources, and thus find their own solutions to cope with their own lives and psychology.

Life is not so much about right and wrong, but about the gray areas and conflicts within us.

Things that violate ethics and break the law must be stopped.

Psychological counseling helps visitors explore themselves and grow so they can deal with their problems.

The counselor offers ideas, but the client decides how to change.

You can't make a horse drink.

Some clients will understand their problems and know what to do to improve. But they may choose to keep things as they are.

Not having a solution is a solution.

The counselor offers different perspectives, professional insights, and methods, but the specific approach depends on the visitor.

I am a Buddhist counselor who is sometimes pessimistic and sometimes positive.