Should parents sleep first before a child does, or do they need to check if the child has closed their eyes and is asleep?

Hello, parent! As a parent who also accompanies their child, I can fully understand the difficulty and confusion of accompanying your child to sleep. But don't worry! I would love to share some of my personal experiences in the hope that they will be inspiring or helpful to you.

First of all, there are some physical conditions of the child that we need to look at.

This is so important! For example, is the child of a sensitive constitution?

My child was in the same situation, so from an early age he was affected by eczema for a long time, which also affected his sleep. But he's a trooper and he's learned to manage it!

Also, I'm not sure if the child currently sleeps with his father or mother, which is great because it means you have the option to try different things to see what works best for them!

Do you think the child would prefer to have the lights off when they go to sleep? Or do they like to have a night light?

If the child is six years old and expected to be in the last year of kindergarten or the first year of primary school, what are the child's usual habits?

It's also important to consider whether the child has been getting enough exercise outdoors during the day, especially with plenty of sunlight. This can have a significant impact on their sleep at night!

And, if you don't mind sharing, I'd love to know when the child started behaving this way, how long it's been going on, and if there were any special events before or after it happened.

If the situation is not very serious, it may be an opportunity for us parents to work through some anxiety.

It's a brand new adventure for many parents when they have their first child. They may not have experience yet, but they're eager to start from scratch and learn as they go.

Children are also growing up slowly, and their bodies and minds are changing in amazing ways! Some seemingly problematic behaviors will naturally disappear or subside as they grow up.

With a six-year-old, you can try asking why he needs his parents to do this. What is the reason for not being able to sleep? Is there anything physically wrong? Or is it something that makes him feel uneasy or scared? Whatever the reason, you can help!

This is a great way to gain a better understanding of the situation and address it more specifically!

Hello, question asker. I'm pleased to be able to answer your question.

From the questioner's description, I know that the child is quite young, only 6 years old, and the quality of sleep at night is not particularly high. He often needs the company of his parents and has to keep an eye on him while he sleeps with his eyes open. For parents, taking care of children is already a very difficult task, and encountering this special situation is really hard for you.

Furthermore, I disagree with the original poster. You did not have a nervous breakdown because of it. What is commendable is that you did not take out these negative emotions on your child. You did not verbally abuse or physically punish them.

You are already ahead of many parents in this respect.

Let's get back to the topic. There are various reasons why a six-year-old child has difficulty falling asleep at night. Irregular sleeping and waking up times, playing too many exciting games with your child at night, or sleeping too much during the day all affect your child's ability to fall asleep at night. The sleeping space is also a factor. If it is too bright or too noisy, or if the bed and pillows are too hard and uncomfortable, it will affect your child's sleep.

Psychological factors such as insecurity and separation anxiety undoubtedly affect sleep.

As parents, we can take action to address these issues. We can set and maintain a regular routine for our children, implement sleep-promoting activities like reading stories and singing lullabies, and monitor their physical and mental well-being closely. If we notice any specific issues, we can seek professional help from a doctor when needed. These steps are essential for ensuring our children get the sleep they need.

Best wishes!

I'm so happy to have met you!

From your description, I can feel your confusion and disorientation about your child's behavior, and how it affects you. But don't worry! I'm here to help. Hugs to you!

Let's talk about this together!

1. Take a moment to reflect on your child's behavior from the very beginning.

Children at this age are either about to start primary school or are already in their first year. Compared to kindergarten children, separation anxiety is much reduced, which is great news! Most children can sleep and go to school independently, which is another wonderful step forward. So, since the child has this behavior, we can review when the child first displayed this behavior and what special things happened at that time.

Has it ever happened that you quietly left after your child fell asleep and he woke up and realized you weren't there? It's so interesting to think about how our children's minds work! Or does your child need your full attention and wants your gaze to be on him at all times?

I'm sure the child just wants to make sure you're there for them through this behavior. They want to feel secure and loved!

What happened before your child started behaving this way? You can take some time to recall it in a quiet environment or talk about it with your family. And you can even have a good chat with your child! You'll get to understand the psychological needs behind their behavior, satisfy them, and help them gradually change this behavior.

2. Accept your child

If you want your child to change, you need to accept this behavior first. It's okay if you don't understand why your child is acting this way. You can still be tolerant and talk to your child before bedtime to understand the real motivation behind their behavior.

For example, "My dear child, how would you feel if I closed my eyes and fell asleep before you did? I'm really a bit tired during the day, and if you ask me to wait until you fall asleep before I go to sleep, I'll get a bit tired and my eyelids will start to droop.

Mommy promises to stay by your side, and you can sleep peacefully if you want! You can even hold my hand!

"If you can't sleep, you can watch your mother sleep, think about the happy things that happened during the day, or the things you want to do tomorrow. That's a great idea! Express your emotions to your child, while also seeing and understanding their behavior. Try to meet their psychological needs, guide them to relax and distract their attention, and slowly transition their behavior to something else that you can accept and that doesn't affect each other's rest. You've got this!"

3. Replace the behavior with something else!

When your child is willing to let you go to sleep first, holding your hand instead, or when he allows you to change to an alternative behavior that is mutually acceptable, then you can slowly replace your independent sleep with his favorite doll or toy, gradually transitioning to his independent sleep. This is an amazing step!

Parents' acceptance and tolerance can do wonders for the child's inner vigilance. It's true that such behavior can make the child feel a bit uncomfortable and affect his sleep, as he is always worried about something. But the fact that the child still does this shows that the psychological needs met by this behavior outweigh his sleep needs, and that is why he is "happy to do it again and again"!

Once you understand and accept your child's behavior and satisfy the psychological needs behind it, you'll be amazed at how motivated they'll be to change! Your child is simply using this behavior to remind you that you need to change, so embrace it!

If you need a little extra support to get through this, you can always seek help from a professional counselor.

I really hope my answer is helpful for you! I wish you the absolute best!

Is it challenging for children to fall asleep? It is recommended that children should be able to fall asleep independently before their parents can go to sleep at night when they are six years old. Parents should monitor their children until they fall asleep and then fall asleep themselves. Alternatively, is it difficult for children to fall asleep because they are unsure whether their parents have closed their eyes?

I will now proceed to answer this question.

First, it is necessary to determine whether the child has a physical illness that requires the presence of an adult during sleep, as this may have adverse effects otherwise.

Subsequently, it is essential to ascertain whether the child's needs are being fulfilled. It is plausible that the child experiences a sense of insecurity in the absence of an adult. Alternatively, it is possible that the child has an unmet requirement for security.

It is hoped that by observing whether the parents are sleeping, some attention can be drawn to the matter.

It is recommended that adults should not abandon their role in the child's upbringing, but rather provide guidance and support in a measured and appropriate manner.

It is recommended that a regular sleeping time be established as a means of maintaining good health. Attempt to sleep in a regular place and in a familiar, comfortable environment with a positive emotional state.

This will result in an improvement in sleep quality.

2. It is essential to establish a comfortable and relaxing environment. To this end, it is necessary to ensure that the room is quiet. All appliances that produce noise, such as air conditioners, televisions, stereos, purifiers, and humidifiers, should be turned off.

It is also important to ensure that the bed is kept clean and tidy.

3. It is recommended that individuals engage in relaxation and unwinding activities. It is advised that individuals refrain from using their mobile phones for a minimum of 30 minutes prior to bedtime. Adults should set a positive example for their children by refraining from using their mobile phones as well.

It is recommended that you inform your colleagues and family members that certain tasks must be addressed the following day, as this is an optimal time for rest and recuperation.

It is also important to engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as listening to calming music, meditating, and breathing deeply. These practices help to ease the mind and body, facilitating a deeper and more restorative sleep.

It is advisable to avoid consumption of spicy and irritating foods, as they may have an adverse effect on sleep quality.

5. It is recommended that you adjust your state of mind and attempt to relax as much as possible.

Prior to retiring for the night, one may engage in a brief series of gentle stretching exercises.

It is my hope that you enjoy a positive relationship with your child and that you are able to obtain a deep, restorative sleep.

The aforementioned individual is a middle school student.

Good day, my name is Xintan, and I am a chatbot.

As a mother, I have experienced the challenges of raising children and I empathize with your situation. Please allow me to extend my support and understanding.

It is unclear whether the questioner is often at home. In general, parents are often absent or pay less attention to their children, which results in a lack of formation of a stable separation pattern. This causes children to feel insecure and cling to their parents, leading them to only fall asleep when their parents are with them.

It is unclear when the child in question began experiencing difficulties falling asleep. Has this always been the case, or has it recently become an issue due to the child's perceived lack of energy after attending kindergarten?

It may be helpful to ascertain whether there have been any recent emotional developments. Asking the child directly may assist the questioner in better understanding the child's needs.

For example, my child has a strong aversion to certain stimuli. My grandfather engages in storytelling that evokes a sense of unease, which causes her to avoid bedtime. Additionally, she exhibits a tendency to sleep excessively during her afternoon nap at kindergarten, which further contributes to her difficulty in falling asleep at night.

I am one of those who spend less time with their child, which can result in increased levels of hyperactivity when the child sees me. Even if there is not a lot of activity at night, the child may still have difficulty sleeping and require company and attention to fall asleep. It may also be helpful for the question asker to observe the state of their child at home.

It is accurate to conclude that it is a relatively laborious process for parents to pay more attention to the development of a habit in a child. The questioner may reduce the factors that affect the quality of his sleep based on communication with the child, such as not doing strenuous exercise before going to bed, not playing with other children, and establishing a sense of ritual before going to bed (such as going to bed after brushing teeth).

It would be advisable for the questioner to avoid placing items in the room that are likely to cause excitement before bedtime, such as toys, etc. This may help to reduce the child's excitement.

It is recommended that the child's play area be separated from the bedroom to effectively distinguish between sleeping and other activities. This may assist the child in developing appropriate sleeping habits.

As role models for their children, parents may wish to consider establishing a regular bedtime for themselves. When children observe this practice, they may gradually adopt it themselves.

We recommend reading Child Psychology for further information.

Best regards,

Hello, question asker! I am a Heart Exploration coach. You can do this! Don't you dare give in to your child's whims.

Wow, you've described some fascinating issues with your child's sleep habits! It's so interesting to hear about your six-year-old's unique approach to falling asleep. It seems like he's got a knack for sleeping solo, which is pretty impressive! I'm curious, though, have you ever considered whether other children might share this trait?

Every child is different when it comes to sleeping. Some are very independent and can sleep by themselves early, which is great! But there are also children who are more dependent on their parents. Without their parents sleeping with them, they feel insecure and need to make sure their parents are still awake until they fall asleep. This is indeed a habit formed from an early age, and it is necessary to slowly break it. Don't worry too much, though.

Let me help you analyze and sort things out!

1. Uncover the root cause of the issue!

Have you ever wondered why your child behaves the way they do? As a parent, you have the amazing opportunity to first look for the reason behind the problem. Is it a lack of security?

It's so important for parents to spend quality time with their children! When parents and children interact regularly, it's amazing to see how much more secure and confident the children feel. If parents can find a little more time before bed to snuggle with their little ones, it can make a world of difference.

2. A gentle but firm attitude is the way to go!

Guiding your child through this transition is an amazing opportunity to bond with them! It's best to be firm, but also patient and loving. Before bedtime, tell your child that they'll see you again in the morning. You can even hug them and close your eyes together! Reading a bedtime story is a great way to help them relax. Gradually let them get used to it, but remember to leave when the story is over. Even if they don't want to sleep this way, they'll naturally fall asleep when they're ready. Every child goes through this separation process, and the earlier you start, the easier it will be! Don't be softhearted because of their crying and whining. They need to learn that their emotions are valid, and they won't use them to control you in the future. As a parent, you're their rock! Be gentle but firm, and never give in to their whims. They'll thank you for it in the long run!

3. Encourage your child to be independent!

If you want to cultivate your child's independence, then you've got to let them sleep on their own! In the first few days, it's a great idea for parents to go and observe their child's sleeping situation in the middle of the night. If the child is sleeping soundly, then you can rest assured. If the child wakes up in the middle of the night and is afraid to go back to sleep, parents can comfort the child for a while and ease the transition. You can also decorate the child's bedroom with warmth and childlike charm! Put up some photos of the parents or the child's favorite cartoon characters on the wall, so that the child will feel less lonely and less afraid, and slowly try to fall asleep peacefully.

4. Positive guidance and education

Parents, you can do it! Guide your children to fall asleep independently and cultivate their independence from the details. It might be difficult for them to accept at first, but with a little patience and creativity, you can make it happen. Allow them to sleep in a cot or sleep alone in a small room—they'll be thrilled to have the independence they crave. In the meantime, you can take reasonable steps to gradually accustom them to it and increase their interest in sleeping alone in a way that they love. Before you know it, they'll be sleeping soundly and you'll be enjoying a peaceful night's rest.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you need to chat some more, you can follow me (just click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and we can have a one-on-one conversation. The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm here to help!

The situation you describe could be a sign that your child is ready to learn how to feel secure! It is very confusing for you, but you can do this! There are specific factors that will help you:

First, the need for security: Children absolutely love having their parents around! They feel safe and secure when they know their parents are there to keep them company and give them lots of love and attention. When it's time to go to sleep, they may want their parents to be there to make sure they are safe and sound.

Second, separation anxiety: Children may be experiencing separation anxiety and feel uneasy about being apart from their parents. The good news is that there are ways to help them feel better! They may worry that their parents will leave after they fall asleep, so it's important to reassure them of their parents' presence.

Third, attention needs: Children may need extra attention to help them relax and fall asleep. They may want their parents to focus on them rather than doing other things, and we can help them with that!

The child's sleeping environment may also have an impact on falling asleep. The good news is that we can help! Factors such as noise, light, or an uncomfortable bed can make it difficult for children to fall asleep.

Finally, we come to the exciting topic of daily habits! Your child may have developed a habit of relying on you to sleep with them. This is something you can gradually change.

We understand the possible causes, and we can improve one by one!

First, establish a sense of security. Give your child more love and companionship during the day so that he feels loved and protected. Before your child goes to sleep, give him plenty of love and hugs so that he knows you are always by his side and he can sleep peacefully.

Next, it's time to create a cozy, relaxing space for your little one! Make sure their bedroom is at a comfortable temperature, quiet, dark, and free from excessive stimulation. Choose a mattress and bedding that will make them feel right at home, so they can sleep soundly.

Once more, let's set some regular sleeping hours and try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day! Let's also set up a nice, stable bedtime routine that includes a warm story time and gentle stroking or cuddling to reassure the child.

Let your child know that you'll be right there for them and ready to help whenever they need you. Keep screen time to a minimum before bedtime and avoid any intense exercise or super-exciting games.

Let's get your child started on a relaxing journey with some fun, quiet activities!

Then, with a little bit of time, you can gradually separate. At first, try leaving the room after your child falls asleep, but don't completely leave their sight. You can stay by the door of the room or in the hallway for a little while to let your child know that you're still nearby.

It's so rewarding when your child can finally sleep independently! Make sure to give them lots of praise and encouragement when they do.

Let's give him a big pat on the back and tell him how proud we are of him for being brave and independent!

Finally, pay attention to the child's psychological state and observe whether the child has any other unusual behaviors or emotional expressions. The good news is that you can help your child overcome these issues! The child may have some underlying psychological problems or emotional distress that affect their sleep. If it persists or seriously affects the child's life, consider consulting a professional psychologist.

Every child is unique, so it may take some time and patience to resolve this issue. But don't worry! You can do it! Communicate with your child openly and gently to understand their feelings and needs, and make improvements accordingly and adjust accordingly based on their personality and situation.

I love you all! I really hope my account has been helpful to you!