What if you suddenly realize that what you have always believed in is wrong?

Good morning,

I can appreciate your feelings if you come to realize, after persisting for a while, that you may have been mistaken in your decision.

It is important to recognize that we have invested a great deal of time and energy into pursuing things that may not align with our true needs. This can lead to a range of emotions, including frustration, sadness, a sense of powerlessness, and guilt. While we may initially feel a desire to continue, we may also experience a sense of wrongdoing, making it challenging to move forward. It's natural to have these thoughts and feelings.

1: It is possible that any choice may be regretted.

It is possible that any choice may be regretted or may be wrong. When we face a choice, it is important to consider the pros and cons before making a decision. However, if we realize halfway through the process that we were wrong to persist, it may be necessary to accept that we will regret it and choose the wrong result. After all, there is no such thing as a perfect ending in life.

2. Take the time to identify your own needs.

Could you please clarify what you want? What is the idea?

It would be helpful to consider what the goals are. If it doesn't work out, stopping in time is also an option. Of course, every choice has its pros and cons. It might be beneficial to reflect on what idea we want in our hearts. It may be helpful to try to avoid making things we regret.

In this situation, we may have invested a great deal of effort into our decision, and regardless of the outcome, it is understandable that it may be challenging to move forward. Seeking guidance from a professional can be beneficial in understanding the underlying issues and exploring ways to navigate them more effectively.

In this situation, we may have invested a great deal of effort into our choice. We may find ourselves facing a difficult decision, and it can be helpful to seek guidance from a counselor. A counselor can help us identify the problem and explore ways to adjust and improve.

4. Consider placing your trust in your own choices.

Since you have chosen to proceed, it would be wise to follow through. Just as in life when choosing a partner, we can never see what the future holds for our partner, so this is also a kind of choice. It may be good or it may be bad, and it is normal to accept both.

If you want something, it might be helpful to consider going for it. It can be beneficial to embrace a carefree attitude. When you're ready, take a step in the direction of your choice. This can help you avoid regret.

I wish you the best.

Hello, Du Xi here!

Your message is very brief, and I can tell that you need to discuss this in person to find a way forward. I'm so happy to help in any way I can!

I truly believe that there is no absolute "right" or "wrong" in anything. It's all relative. It's just whether the end result is satisfactory to you. If the result is satisfactory, you feel that you did the "right" thing; if the result is not satisfactory, you feel that you did the "wrong" thing.

However, the final result is often affected by many factors. It's not always guaranteed that what you do now will definitely produce a certain result.

So, there's no right or wrong in what you're doing right now!

From the point of view of the intention, it's so important to remember that.

If your intention is good, you'll stick with it through thick and thin. Even if you don't succeed, you won't give up.

If your initial intention is bad and harms the interests of others, then it's not a good idea to persist.

Let's look at the goal from a different angle.

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see what your intentions are when you do something.

If you want to win, then the decisions you make along the way are all choices made for the final result. Whether you continue or not, you do so to win. And don't worry, you'll have no regrets, whether you persist or give up when the result comes.

If you want to be right, you're only making choices and judgments to prove that you are right, and more for selfish desires. In this process, your persistence is just to prove yourself. Even if you know that giving up may be better, you will stubbornly insist because you are worried about what others will think of you.

So you ask, "What should I do if I suddenly realize that something I've always insisted on is wrong?"

Then, you can ask yourself if your intention is to be "right" or to "win." Once you've answered that question, you can decide whether you should continue to persevere.

I really hope my answer helps you out! Best of luck!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

We may not know our choices are wrong before we start. We might find out as we go along. But because we've already put in the effort, we don't want to give up.

Wrong results.

At first, we work hard and move in the right direction. Then, we realize we're wrong and don't know whether to stop or keep going.

If we get a stain on our clothes, we need to wash them as soon as possible to get them clean. The longer we wait, the harder it is to remove the stain. If we ignore it, we will end up throwing the clothes away.

The questioner knows it is wrong and that it will have consequences.

How it affects you

We always try things step by step. No one's choices are easy. So when the questioner started this matter, he didn't know it was wrong. After he knew, what impact did it have on the questioner?

Many people know what they're doing is wrong but won't admit it. They keep on insisting, but it makes them unhappy.

So, while they want to persist, they persuade themselves in various ways, which causes conflict and, in more serious cases, affects their normal lives.

Follow your heart.

The original poster already knew the answer to their own question because they knew what they were doing was wrong. When we grow up, we will choose the right thing to do.

The sadness of life is persistence in the wrong and giving up too easily.

Follow your heart, make a decision, and be free.

I hope this helps.

Hello. I'm confident my answer will be helpful to you.

I was once very persistent. Some friends said I was obsessed and would always insist on certain things. After studying psychology, I changed my ideas and became less persistent. I let go of some things I had been doing, but I don't think the things I once insisted on were wrong. My persistence was still meaningful at the time. It's just that it's not suitable for me now. Every stage has its own meaning. There is no wasted journey in life. Every step counts. Life is not just about right and wrong. There is a vast field between right and wrong, and a gray area between black and white.

I've included some of my experiences and thoughts on this for your reference.

There is no single standard for judging many things. We are in different situations and look at things from different perspectives, and that's that.

I had a dream: to become a teacher and teach. I was determined to make this a reality.

After graduating from graduate school, I prepared for the doctoral entrance exam while trying to get pregnant. When I found out that I had passed the preliminary exam, I also found out that I was pregnant. I was going to do this, no matter what. I studied engineering, which meant I needed to do a lot of experiments, which would affect the child and also my supervisor's scientific research tasks. My supervisor suggested that I choose one or the other, but I was going to do both.

I chose my child, knowing I would take a postgraduate exam later and then teach at a university. Ideals are abundant, while reality is skeletal. After my child was born, I found the energy to study and take exams. I persisted, even though I wanted to be with my child and didn't want to be separated from my family.

During that period of time, I was in pain. On the one hand, there was an ideal that seemed impossible to achieve, and on the other hand, there was a nagging reality. I was determined to find a way to reconcile these two opposing forces.

I explored and searched, still confused, but determined to keep going. I would not give up my ideals for the sake of my family.

Later, I encountered the exam for a psychological counselor, which interested me. In the process of preparing for the exam, I suddenly understood a lot of truths. I saw the limitations I had placed on myself. My ideal was not to become a teacher. It was to live a happy life. Looking at my real life, I was happy. I just lacked some self-growth and self-fulfillment. I didn't need to achieve that by getting a doctorate and becoming a teacher at a university. Besides, I didn't like doing experiments. I shouldn't force myself to do things I don't like.

I stopped pursuing a doctorate and started a career in psychological counseling. At first, I still had doubts, but I soon realized that this was the right choice for me. It wasn't like my previous experiment, which I had resisted, but was now full of enthusiasm and motivation, and something I enjoyed and was interested in. Five years later, I'm still in the world of psychology, and I'm proud of where I am. Back then, I was more concerned with academic qualifications and the affirmation of others. I thought that pursuing a doctorate and a stable job with social status was my ideal. Now, I'm happy to say that I've found my true calling. I'm able to take care of my family while constantly developing and growing my psychological work.

I have come to realize that my attitude towards being a teacher is contingent upon my circumstances. Prior to becoming a parent, I perceived teaching as a relatively straightforward and undemanding profession, one that allowed me the flexibility to pursue my own learning. However, the demands of parenthood, particularly the need to care for my child on a daily basis, made it challenging for me to balance work and family. Consequently, I have come to view teaching as an incompatible choice for me at this stage of my life. On the other hand, some of my friends have the luxury of not having to dedicate significant time and energy to childcare, and they find fulfillment in the structure and predictability that a fixed-time job provides. For them, teaching may indeed be a highly suitable career path.

There is no right or wrong in many things. Only one's own choices matter.

2. Letting go of unnecessary obsessions opens up a new space and welcomes a new world.

Let me tell you about my own story. If I had been obsessed with getting a PhD and becoming a university teacher, I would have continued to do experiments I didn't like and spent a long time away from my child, leaving him with my parents. In that case, there would have been a distance between us. Maybe I would have achieved more in my career than I have now, but I made the conscious decision to prioritize my values. I realized that I had put my family and growth before my career. My career is relatively unimportant to me. So if I had made that choice before, I would have been conflicted inside, and I probably would have regretted it now.

I discovered the importance I attach to my children and family, and the value I place on growth. I let go of my former obsessions and started a new career in psychology. I love this industry. I feel happy and fulfilled every day. In the past, I studied my original professional knowledge more to please the teacher and satisfy the parents. I forced myself to learn a lot of content to get high marks in exams. But now, I am happy to learn the content of psychology. The learning process itself is a kind of enjoyment. I have opened up a new world in my life. In this new space, there are no more boring experiments, no more pressure from scientific research. There are more connections with myself, with others, and with the world. There is more understanding of myself, of others, and of the world.

I am grateful that I was able to let go of those obsessions and make room for the better things in my life, which opened up a new world for me.

3. There is no such thing as a wasted step in life. The things you have insisted on will always have a meaning for you. Be grateful for the "encounters" you have had, and start a new chapter with new inspiration.

In fact, looking back, there's no doubt about it: our persistence has meaning and inspiration. I wholeheartedly agree with the saying that no path in life is wasted, and every step counts.

I have a master's degree in microbiology and am not currently working in a related field. The years of graduate school made me realize that I do not like doing experiments and am not suited to doing them. This has been a great inspiration and has given me profound self-knowledge and understanding.

If you haven't experienced postgraduate life, you don't know what it's like. You won't realize that you're not good at or like doing scientific research. You need to understand this so you can make a firm choice later. You need to understand that you don't want to repeat the experimental life you don't like and that you don't want your life to be spent in the laboratory. This is an exploration and discovery of yourself.

The studies I did during that time were not completely useless. I can still use them. For example, I can now use what I learned about biology to understand the impact of our bodies on our psychology, which helps me in my studies of physiological psychology, as well as the studies of the nervous system and intestinal microbes on the mind.

All experiences in life are meaningful, even if they seem useless at first. They connect us to our true selves and make up our life journey.

This is for your reference. Best wishes!

Hello, landlord!

I'm happy to discuss this with you.

Asking this question shows you're someone who thinks deeply about things and can admit when you've made a mistake. I believe this kind of quality is far more valuable and rare than the "right or wrong" of the matter itself.

Our understanding is actually a spiral, twisting and turning upwards. It's not possible to gain knowledge and make judgments about something overnight, and we can't stay the same.

A lot of things go from practice to understanding, and then from understanding to practice. This process of practice, understanding, then practice again, and then understanding again, repeats itself endlessly, getting better and better with each step. This is the general process of human understanding and development, and it is a process that is both iterative and infinite.

It's safe to say that throughout our lives, we'll often find ourselves in situations where we realize that some of our long-held beliefs are actually wrong.

For instance, the collapse of omnipotent fantasies in infancy, the shift from a "split position" to a "depressed position"; the childhood dream of being the chosen one to save the world; the obsession with love being paramount and dying for it in adolescence; the realization of the importance of career, fame, and family in middle age; and finally, in old age, pondering the meaning of life and death.

These cognitive processes are basically a continuous process of cognition, practice, and correction. With the enrichment of personal growth experiences and the influence of education and culture, our feelings about the same things and things at different times may be very different. This is illustrated by the Song Dynasty poet Jiang Jie in his poem "Yu Mei Ren·Listening to the Rain."

When he was young, he listened to the rain singing on the floor of the building, with red candles and a crimson canopy. In his prime, he listened to the rain while traveling on a boat, with the river wide and the clouds low, and the broken geese crying out to the westerly wind.

Now, under the monk's roof, his temples are covered in white hair. All the ups and downs of life seem pointless. I'll let the rain fall on the steps until dawn.

So, when we realize that some of our long-held beliefs are actually wrong, there's no need to feel guilty or panic. This is not only a sign of our growing ability to reflect and introspect, but also a result of our cognitive abilities constantly improving. It's a common experience, whether it's in the vertical growth of an individual or in the horizontal life of the masses.

In terms of what to do, it's about accepting this, taking on the responsibilities that come with it, reflecting on it, and growing yourself.

Have a great day!

Hello, question asker! You ask, "What if suddenly I realize that some of the things I've always held onto are wrong?"

I just wanted to say, first of all, that I think you're really great for being so aware of yourself and your thoughts. Awareness and thinking are the first steps to making a change. Let's take a look at your question together, shall we?

As you mentioned in your question, it can be really tough when you realize that something you've always believed in is actually wrong. I'm here to support you!

Your question is short and sweet, but I can tell that what you've shared has really affected the main character in your story. It's tough when someone has always believed in something and then realizes it's not true. It can be a big, unexpected challenge.

He might even start to wonder if he's stupid. It's only natural to feel like a victim of fraud when you don't understand why you were cheated for so long.

It's so frustrating when you think your beliefs have been betrayed and no one noticed! It can feel like your whole world has been turned upside down. It's totally normal to feel like this. It's not good, and it can be very painful.

I feel so strongly about this situation because I've been there! I'll share my experience below, just in case it helps.

I used to think my family was the best, and I still love them to bits!

There were four siblings in our family, and I was the youngest. My parents were extremely patriarchal, and my eldest brother and second brother were deeply loved and valued by my parents. They were a bit wild at school, bless them!

My sister was the eldest, and she did really well in primary and junior high school. But at that time, parents didn't support girls' studies, so she stopped studying in junior high school and went out to work to help support the family. So, I suddenly became the only one in my family going to school! I was playful in primary school and didn't study hard, so my foundation was very poor. In junior high school, I didn't have time to play, and I didn't study well either.

Starting from the second year of junior high school, I suddenly started studying hard because I didn't want to go out to work after graduating from junior high school. It just so happened that my family lacked someone who could study hard and succeed and bring glory to the family, so I became that person. From that time on, I switched from being a naughty child who didn't study to studying hard. It was really painful. At that time, my family started to care about me, but actually they were more concerned about my studies. However, at that time I didn't know the difference, I was just happy to feel the importance they attached to me.

Later on, I was lucky enough to be accepted to a great high school in our county. I was also lucky enough to be accepted to university and later to work. However, I never had a say in my family. It seemed to me that they were just tools for studying hard. I only understood this after I had experienced traumatic growth and studied psychology. At that time, I had the same feeling as you above. What I had insisted on was actually wrong. I experienced the collapse of my beliefs, and that feeling was really hard to bear. I felt like a walking corpse.

You can absolutely heal and rebuild your own mind!

I remember that it took me a long time to recover, and it was all about rebuilding my soul. That was also when I started studying psychology, and once I started, I was hooked! I was fascinated by my teacher's lectures, so I listened to psychology lectures, read psychology books, and when I had time, I wrote about sorting out my past life development.

It's so hard going through this process alone. I didn't know about psychological counseling or where to find a counselor back then, so I had to figure it out on my own, which was really tough. When our hearts are hurting, it's so important to take care of ourselves and heal.

You're also welcome to seek help from a counselor to help you heal and rebuild your soul.

As I mentioned earlier, if the mind has been hit hard and hurt badly, it can heal and rebuild itself. But the process of licking one's wounds alone can be very difficult, painful, lonely, helpless, powerless, and slow. It takes a long time and is very energy-consuming. If the person can afford a counselor, it's a great idea to have one who is good at this area to accompany them in healing their wounded mind. With the company of a professional counselor, the healing process will be faster and less painful and lonely.

Of course, this is just my suggestion, and it's totally up to you which method you want to use!

I hope my answer is helpful for you, original poster! I wish you all the best and I love you!

There is no absolute right or wrong in many things. The boundaries between right and wrong are unclear depending on the perspective.

It's crucial to distinguish between things and situations, right and wrong. Sometimes, it's just a matter of perspective. Without specific details, it's impossible to analyze the specific right and wrong. There are instances when the principles you've always adhered to may collapse one day. You may discover that what you thought was true is actually false, or that what you thought other people cared about and the way you've always done things are not as important to them as you thought. There are too many such examples in real life.

The Chinese proverb "One time is one thing, another time is another thing" makes this clear. As time and circumstances change, different measures may be required. What was right in the past may not necessarily be applicable now.

You say you have discovered that what you used to hold on to is wrong. It really depends on what the specific matter is. For example, I still believe that some things cannot be wrong, such as the principle that one should not commit crimes or break the law. Some things have changed, so you should reassess the importance of the matter itself, the significance of adhering to it, or the significance of giving it up, according to your current situation. If you really assess it and give it up, you will actually have no more losses, so just give it up.

People's habits also change imperceptibly. Once you get used to the current situation, what was once wrong becomes right. This is a bit of a mouthful, but it's clear that right and wrong are not absolute.

Everything in the world exists dialectically. Right and wrong are not absolute.

They can change due to changing circumstances—and that's perfectly possible. As long as the result is acceptable, it's not a big deal.

Some people's concepts, views, and worldviews change according to the situation. We used to feel that we had to do something every day and show the result to others to prove our innocence.

The times are changing, and we must adapt. Some things that were once unnecessary are now crucial. For instance, we must prioritize physical fitness and monitor changes in our body temperature and throat.

And then? The demands of the new era may also bring some contradictions or conflicts, making you feel that some of your previous insistence may lead to conflicts and make you feel inconsistent. If this happens, you need to meet your current needs and look at the things you insist on.

If it's wrong, we can face it and change it. Wrong things are often not suitable to do. If you've realized something is wrong and are willing to correct it, you're on the right track. You need to analyze each specific problem, not just suddenly correct it.

We must recognize that every matter has its own particularities. Your current description is relatively concise and lacks specific details, so we need to put in more effort to make it clearer. You can write down some of your own things more clearly and logically.

This is a more effective way to help yourself. It will help you sort out your current conflicts and emotions. Some things we may have insisted on doing in the past, but that doesn't mean we will continue to do them in the future. We are all changing in changing times. No one is sure what the future will bring.

Don't be 100% sure. The negatives of an industry can suddenly collapse in an instant.

The sudden outbreak of a new industry is also something we cannot decide. We must seize the moment and take advantage of the window of opportunity to assess the situation and see what needs to be done most urgently. Talk about this with a trusted friend to absorb valuable experience. Seek psychological counseling or chat with a heart exploration coach or psychological listener. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, I'm Mint, and I'm thrilled to be able to offer you a helping hand!

The great thing is, we don't have to wait around for someone else to define what "right" or "wrong" means. We can just go out there and do what we believe is right, and then see what happens!

The evaluation and outcome of an event are inherently two-sided. Just think, if you think something is wrong, it could be less wrong if you look at it from a different perspective! And if you look at it from a longer-term perspective, you might feel differently!

But what if, after all this is done, we are still convinced that we were wrong? Well, then, all we can do is accept it, choose a new direction, stop in time, or continue on and wait for the outcome!

Our growth is always in the choices we make again and again. I feel so lucky to have had the chance to experience so many things! For example, the epidemic: to let it loose or to control it?

No one can say whether it is right or wrong, but that's the beauty of it! There were all kinds of problems during the lockdown, and there are still many problems after it has been lifted. We may make different decisions in different situations, and that's what makes life exciting! It is normal that we may have deviations as time goes by and things develop, even though we may have been right at the time.

Paying attention to your inner self at all times and not deviating from your original intentions is what I think is most important. And it's so important to remember that no matter what the outcome, it is always some kind of consolation to do what you want to do, no matter what the changes!

In the current environment, don't make life too difficult for yourself. It's probably more important to live each day to the fullest! It's hard to predict the future, but I wish you the best!

Hello, I'm a coach at Xintan. Everything is easy. I see your question. What would you do if you suddenly realized that what you've been insisting on is wrong? I'll try to answer your questions and solve your problems.

You must have reasons for insisting on something or be getting benefits from it.

You know now that what you insist on is wrong. Do you benefit from it? Does it satisfy your needs, or are you further from your goals?

What is right and wrong?

Every choice has a cost. It's right or wrong based on whether it meets your needs, respects your feelings, and aligns with your heart's desires.

What are the pros and cons of giving up something you've always insisted on?

Consider all the possibilities and choose the best one for you.

If you want to talk to me more, click below to find a coach, choose a chat partner, and talk to me one-on-one.

I hope you find happiness soon.

Hello,

I've read your message several times, but I'm not sure what area this is happening in. I think it must have hit you pretty hard. I've tried to put myself in your shoes, and at the moment I would feel flustered, frustrated, and self-blame.

What do you think?

We've all heard that failure leads to success and that mistakes are how we learn.

But this can't change what we feel when something happens. So I hope you'll take care of your emotions before looking for a solution.

It's not easy to notice our emotions and stop before we lose control and express them. We should let ourselves express our emotions, including having emotional outbursts.

Don't judge your emotions. This will help you change because you won't blame yourself.

When we calm our emotions, we can see things more clearly. You say you have always insisted on something, and suddenly you realize it was wrong.

I don't know what to judge, if this mistake is real, or if there's a chance it'll change when we try a different approach. I'm not sure. Record it and see what it means.

If it's wrong, what are the consequences? Can you change it? What do you think when you realize it's wrong?

Are there other reasons for these thoughts?

Writing can help you sort things out. It lets you distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions, which can help you grow and be free.

If we accept stress and do something about it, it's not as bad as we thought. But if we avoid it and do things that make us feel comfortable, it can become a problem.

These emotions may make us feel a little uncomfortable, but that's okay. They usually don't hurt us.

Take care of your feelings before you explore the truth.

I wish us all the best as we learn to accept whatever fate throws at us.

Hello, I'm Look.

There is always room for improvement.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider addressing the issue after the fact, rather than waiting until it's too late.

It might be helpful to think of it as trying to remedy a situation after suffering a loss, so as to avoid suffering further losses in the future.

Since you have discovered that this thing is wrong, it would be wise to take a moment to stop and reflect on how you might remedy the situation. Some people may say, "What is there to lose by continuing?"

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what valuable things you may have lost along the way. It's possible that you may have invested a great deal of time and energy into this, and that it's now affecting your overall well-being. Life is short, and we all have limited energy resources.

Perhaps it would be more beneficial to stop the loss in time and find another way out, rather than wasting time on the wrong things.

The psychology of habits

The questioner describes a situation in which someone may suddenly realize that something they have always insisted on is wrong. It is possible that this has been a habit for years or even decades.

So, how might we go about making a change?

In her book, "Psychology of Habits," American psychology professor Wendy Wood suggests that individuals aiming to make positive and lasting changes may benefit from adjusting the behavioral patterns of their habitual self. She presents three key factors for developing good habits, including the environment, repetition, and rewards.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your needs in this situation.

It's always helpful to consider the original intention behind our actions. What might we lose if we don't persevere?

Could you please elaborate on what you stand to gain by persevering?

Take a moment to list out your needs for doing this thing, and see what you really need. Given that you have discovered that it is not the right path for you, there is no need to hesitate.

Perhaps it would be helpful to simplify the situation. I'm here to support you in any way I can.

Hello, question asker. I am Qu Huidong, your answerer. I am a psychological counselor who speaks in images.

As the questioner said, suddenly realizing that some things you have always believed in are wrong, the panic can make you feel very confused and unsure of what to do. But you can take control of your emotions and your situation.

This is also a common reaction when people face problems. They try to solve, correct, improve, or alleviate the problem.

You need to stop and reflect on what happened, see who is judging right and wrong, and take care of yourself. You have always insisted on taking care of yourself, so do it now.

Why?

It's like trying to find your way in the forest. You've been confident that you're going in the right direction, no matter how far you've gone. Then someone tells you that you're going the wrong way, but they don't say which way is right. You know which way is right. You keep going in the right direction.

Don't change direction too quickly. Don't keep walking with a stiff upper lip.

Just lie down and let fate take its course? Absolutely not!

These are all inappropriate choices. At this moment, you must believe in yourself.

You have persisted for a reason. It's not that you can't change if you persist; that would be complacency. You need to find out what made you choose to persist and how you managed to do so.

If you can see that the direction you're persevering in is problematic, then find resources in it, even if it's wrong.

Your perseverance, sense of conviction, past gains, and even the lessons of failure can all become resources on the road of future choices.

There are many choices in life, and you must accept that even wrong choices have their own meaning. In the process, you will get to know yourself better, and your life will become richer!

Best wishes!