What should I do if I am too jealous? How can I effectively adjust this mentality?

Perhaps your jealousy is a manifestation of your inability to see others succeed. Let's consider why you find it challenging to witness others thrive.

First of all, being intolerant is often a manifestation of self-centeredness. It can seem as though you make the values you believe in the center of the world and hope that everyone in the world does the same.

If you hold your values to be absolutely correct, then it may be difficult to see another perspective. This security guard's perception may not align with yours, but it is important to recognize that there are many ways of seeing things.

Perhaps your moral standards have taught you right and wrong, but morality is not used to force others to comply. Even the law does not force someone to make a phone call. Therefore, the emotions of annoyance, anger, and grievance caused by not being able to stand the sight of something may be causing you distress.

Secondly, it could be said that disliking something is a kind of demand. It may be that the essence of disliking something is anger at one's own sense of self-worth, which in turn prompts us to seek a little sense of worth from others.

If we cannot prove that we are right and good, we can at least try to prove that others are wrong and bad. At the same time, we may develop an expectation that the other person will agree with our approach, which could help us to once again verify the correctness of our way of life.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that even if you are right, it may not be the most productive use of your energy to focus on how others are doing. It might be more beneficial to control your emotions with grace, while the people you can't stand are happily going about their business.

Ultimately, disliking something is simply an internal conflict, a form of self-deception. Those who challenge our views can serve as valuable guides, helping us to recognize our own biases and assumptions, and to understand how our perceptions of value are shaped.

If it is of benefit to you, you may also use the time when you do not like what you see to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This may then allow you to make a new decision about whether you still wish to adhere to your current rules.

Of course, you are entitled to your opinion and you are free to disagree. We all have our own paths to follow, and I respect your right to choose your own values.

It is important to remember that this does not affect whether other people like you very much.

It is important to understand that change does not happen overnight. Rather, it is a gradual process that unfolds over time. The journey towards change often involves experiencing a sense of imbalance in the current situation, being stimulated by external factors, confusion, integration, practice, and implementation.

If you are truly ready to embrace change, then it's time to take the leap!

Hello.

Host:

After carefully reading your post, I can clearly see the internal conflict and contradiction in you. On the one hand, reason may be telling you that this is unfair to them, while on the other hand, we seem to be looking forward to them valuing our own feelings. Is that right? At the same time, I also noticed that you have bravely faced your own heart and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help you better understand and know yourself and make appropriate adjustments.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts from the post, which will help the original poster look at the issue from a more diverse perspective.

1. Make an assumption.

In the post, the original poster mentioned that I like it when everyone gives priority to my feelings in everything, believes unconditionally in what I say, and implements my suggestions wholeheartedly. When I can't achieve this state, I want to eat his heart. I like to make decisions, I like to be in charge, and I like it when everyone listens carefully when I speak and no one interrupts.

We can discuss together why we like these things. We like it when others get along with us in this way because we have certain needs that must be met.

Write down what you feel when the people around you give priority to your feelings, believe in you unconditionally, and follow your advice.

These are our inner needs.

From a psychological standpoint, our expectations of others reflect our inner needs. By making assumptions about these expectations, we can gain valuable insights into ourselves.

We must also consider the other person's perspective. How would we feel if we thought the other person was not considering our feelings and did not believe us? Writing down these feelings is an effective way to understand our inner world.

2. We must explore why we behave this way.

In your post, you describe how you know this is wrong, that it is unfair to others, and that your own strength is limited. Yet you do it anyway. Why?

We must ask ourselves: why do we keep repeating this? This is something we can and should explore and discuss.

We know this is wrong. So why do we still do it?

This is likely due to human nature or brain mechanisms. Psychologically speaking, our brain is dominated by the emotional brain.

This means that when our emotional brain is on, our rational brain is off.

The emotional brain is running at a much faster pace than the rational brain, which leaves us unable to control our emotions.

I believe this is one reason. Another reason is likely our internal long-term deprivation.

From a psychological standpoint, if our needs weren't met when we were young, we'll grow up to be people who demand and ask for things from others. It's simple: when we're hungry, we keep looking for food.

This is just one perspective, and it may not align with your experience. In this section, you should also review your personal growth journey to identify its starting point. Consider your upbringing and assess whether your psychological needs were not met during your formative years, leading you to continuously seek fulfillment.

3. Learning and improving

You can be sure that the fact you can seek help here will be of some help to you. However, since this is a Q&A forum, it may have its limitations and may not be of much help to you. So here, I will focus on exploring this part of yourself and how to adjust it. This may require you to give yourself some time and patience.

If it were really that easy, we probably wouldn't have been troubled by it for so long.

We can do something for ourselves. If we have the means, we can seek professional psychological counseling and leave professional matters to the professionals.

If you don't have the means, there are still ways you can help yourself and explore yourself through the study of psychology. Take psychology courses, read books, join groups, etc.

I am confident that this will be of some help and inspiration to you.

Dear Question Asker,

My name is Kelly from Heart Exploration.

I have reviewed your question on multiple occasions and observe that you possess a high level of energy and determination.

I would like to see a young person who looks the way they should, full of youthful vitality and passion, but also someone who can reflect on themselves and be aware of themselves.

What is the best course of action for addressing excessive jealousy? How can I effectively adjust this mentality?

Jealousy is a common emotion. I commend you for your candor. Many individuals may experience jealousy but may not openly acknowledge it.

Based on my observations, I hypothesize that:

What causes jealousy?

For example, in my upbringing, it may be because other children had new clothes that I wanted, and my mother always had to take care of my sister, who got to wear the new clothes first, and then had to take care of my brother, so I was always left out.

For example, in my upbringing, it may have been because other children had the new clothes I wanted, and my mother was required to care for my sister, who was given the new clothes first, and then care for my brother, which resulted in my being left out.

I was quite young at the time, and I suppressed my feelings. I did not receive the same level of attention and affection from my mother as other children did. However, I recall the sense of disappointment and bitterness that I experienced internally, which was challenging to conceal in my young heart.

As a child, psychology indicates that this kind of emotion is a typical aspect of a child's psychological development. It is an intuitive, genuine, and natural phenomenon.

Therefore, when children are growing up, behaviors like my mother's can unconsciously stimulate jealousy and cause harm to the child's mental health.

Human nature is fundamentally good, and without proper guidance from parents, it is either stimulated intentionally or unintentionally.

If my mother had informed me that my sister was wearing my clothes due to financial constraints and limited resources, or that she was providing care for my sister before attending to my needs, I might not have been able to comprehend my feelings of jealousy. Instead, it would have prompted me to consider the situation from a more empathetic perspective.

2. Research indicates that young children are highly attuned to their parents' affection for others. For instance, infants under one year of age display signs of jealousy, such as restlessness and anger, when their mothers feed other babies.

Furthermore, we observed that our parents would exploit this to prove that the child was dependent on them.

During my formative years, I frequently heard my mother say, "You're not as good as your brother, so I like him better. Also, you see, I don't hug you, I hug him."

As children, we would also experience feelings of discontent and express them through tears.

This was also my personal growth process, and I believe many individuals have experienced similar challenges, particularly with their children's extended families.

An only child will be compared by parents and neighbors.

It is not inherently problematic to engage in occasional comparisons of children. However, if they are consistently threatened, tested, and neglected during their formative years, they may develop feelings of jealousy. Over time, this emotion can become all-consuming, narrowing their perspective and eroding their sense of security.

My observations have led me to conclude that the dynamics between my sister and me, and the behavior of our parents, have not resulted in an improvement in our sibling relationship. My sister displays jealousy towards me, and I exhibit similar feelings towards her. I have learned from psychological research that children who grow up in this kind of family environment are more likely to develop negative feelings towards their siblings.

It is not uncommon for parents to believe that inconsequential issues can have a significant impact on their children.

As the American writer John Steinbeck once observed, a child's greatest fear is that they are unloved and abandoned. This is the most feared scenario for children.

3. As previously discussed, what are the implications of having more than one child?

It is not uncommon for parents to engage in comparisons between their children and those of other individuals, including relatives and classmates.

In today's competitive environment, children are often compared to their peers, which can negatively impact their sense of normalcy.

If parents are not aware of these issues,

It is unclear how a child can view winning and losing in a calm manner.

Furthermore, during the learning process, frequent ranking and evaluation can foster a sense of envious rivalry, potentially leading to resentment towards those who outperform them.

Therefore, it can be surmised that jealousy often stems from comparison.

Comparative analysis will continue to be a factor in the formation of jealous sentiments until such time as the individual concerned is able to cease comparing themselves to others.

The aforementioned process represents my journey of self-awareness, childhood trauma resolution, and gradual emotional healing.

It is important to note that jealousy is not inherently negative.

However, if we understand that the root cause of our jealousy is linked to our formative years, we will also comprehend the underlying reasons for these thoughts and emotions.

Furthermore, they acknowledge their feelings of envy.

[Let us now discuss your assertion that you are a highly jealous individual. It appears that this trait is negatively impacting your interpersonal relationships. You seem to require a certain degree of privilege within a group in order to feel secure.]

If you lack confidence, it is likely due to a lack of self-assurance. As previously discussed, it is challenging for children in early education to feel confident. They may feel that, regardless of their efforts, they are not as capable as others. This can lead to an inferiority complex, which can manifest as jealousy.

During our formative years, we had limited control over our circumstances. Consequently, individuals who grew up with low self-esteem or jealousy may perceive the world through a distorted lens.

1. For instance, if we lack confidence, we will strive to improve.

You appreciate it when everyone gives your ideas the highest priority and implements your advice without question.

It would be beneficial to recognize the value in the individual in question and to take a moment to reflect on how they have achieved their current level of excellence. I would approach such a person in the past with the intention of learning from them and striving to surpass them.

It is evident that your feelings of jealousy are impeding your ability to maintain healthy relationships. By learning to control your emotions and navigate challenging situations with confidence, you can foster a more open-minded and optimistic outlook. This will not only help you to build stronger connections with individuals who excel in their fields but also enhance your personal growth and development.

You desire for all individuals to consider your feelings without any issues, indicating that you aim to be recognized by all and can communicate openly with all parties, stating your opinions clearly. You perceive this as the start of a transformation.

You observe that others are able to perform this task and you aspire to achieve the same level of proficiency. You enjoy making decisions, taking charge of situations, and being listened to without interruption. You demonstrated a similar level of competence in your previous role.

This indicates that there is not a significant discrepancy in capability between you and the individual who is able to perform the task. To illustrate, if the other person is rated at 100 and you are rated at 99, only someone with a similar level of competence would experience envy.

By contrast, would you envy an individual who is not particularly exceptional?

This illustrates the ongoing process of striving to reach new heights due to feelings of jealousy.

It is recommended that you:

Let's alter our perspective. We can genuinely value others and ourselves, give ourselves positive reinforcement, and offer encouragement to others. Concurrently, concentrate on ourselves and eliminate envy while focusing on our own advancement. When we are self-assured and interact with capable individuals, recall the adage: "Three people walking together will surely have a teacher among them."

I would like to share a story with you.

Identify your own strengths and areas of expertise.

A passage from the picture book "I Don't Want to Be Jealous" is an excellent starting point for a discussion between adults and children.

"Jealousy is simply a state of discontent when one perceives another individual to have superior qualities or achievements. However, there are instances where I acknowledge my own positive attributes. It's intriguing to consider that perhaps the individual I envy may also possess qualities I admire."

There is a very classic game called "I Have What You Don't Have." This game implies that everyone's life is different and that there is no need to be anxious about what other people have.

It is important for the questioner to consider their own strengths.

1. When you arrive at the internship company, you effectively integrate with all your colleagues, showcasing excellent interpersonal skills.

2. I am confident in expressing my opinions to my leaders.

3. In the group project at school, I am taking the initiative to assign tasks to group members and will be meeting with you at the weekend to report back. I am able to execute tasks effectively, I am responsible, and I am willing to facilitate growth for the entire group.

4: Your experience with bullies has made you feel insignificant. You want to be the focal point and have a significant impact.

(This is a recurring theme in your thinking. You are aware that this approach is flawed, that it is unfair to others, and that your own capabilities are also limited.)

He is correct. Your strengths are numerous, but without a team of similarly talented individuals, you may experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Have you read the story of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove? Each sage had their own unique characteristics and strengths. A team is only as effective as the individuals who comprise it, and the greater the number of talented individuals, the greater the collective wisdom.

I believe that individuals who are genuinely arrogant, arrogant, and autocratic are unlikely to engage in self-reflection. However, you are not of that nature. You are willing to reflect on your own actions.

You are already aware that you have lost many potentially beneficial relationships and have caused distress to numerous individuals who care about you.

This indicates a desire to make personal changes.

Otherwise, you would not have documented these insights and realizations in writing.

In his later years, Mr. Yangming said, "It is difficult to overcome the desire to win." Throughout history, numerous individuals have succumbed to this desire, along with jealousy and the pursuit of fame.

Our minds are always focused on external factors.

Our qualities of diligence, sincerity, and responsibility are the optimal uses of the heart; jealousy, arrogance, and vanity are also the uses of the heart, but they are the suboptimal uses of the heart.

I am confident that you will make the right choice.

I am confident that you will continue to improve.

I would like to extend my congratulations to you on your well-being.

Hello. I see your self-description and I see a picture of someone who is cutting through their own body with a knife. At the same time, I see the cold thinking of a self-awakened person after self-awareness. I like your frankness and sense of reality.

This is how I see envy and jealousy. There seems to be some truth to the idea that envy and jealousy follow a certain order. The first kind of envy is seeing the good in others, admiring them, and inspiring and motivating oneself. Jealousy is a sense of inferiority after realizing one's own inability to achieve something. How to turn inferiority into confidence is a kind of catching up. Hate is self-harm after transferring inferiority to others. The first two are benign and positive psychological states, a kind of spiritual sublimation, and an embodiment of the psychological qualities of successful people.

The latter could even turn into a hidden worry about mental illness.

Adler says there are three big things we need to work on in life: accepting ourselves, trusting others, and contributing to others. Self-acceptance is about knowing yourself and accepting yourself.

To love yourself, you have to know yourself. That way, you can accept and approve of yourself better. Accept the good things about yourself, and also accept the things you think are not so good.

This is the result of being too self-conscious and even self-centered in everything, which has caused you to encounter problems in interpersonal relationships. However, few of us are willing to face our imperfect selves. So we always hide and protect our poor self-esteem.

When I read your opening sentence, "I am a very jealous person, and it seems that this jealousy is damaging my relationships. I feel secure only when I have a kind of 'privilege' in a group," I see a confident and self-assured you, but also a hint of insecurity. These are two different sides of human nature.

The flip side of someone who's really self-confident is probably a pretty deep inferiority complex. This is the full picture of you.

When it comes to trusting others, it's about getting to know them and understanding their perspective. It's a two-way street. The same goes for loving yourself. It's about being comfortable with who you are.

Human relationships are about connecting with other people. A good relationship is one where everyone involved respects each other, treats each other equally, and is open to give and take. This means getting to know others, understanding them, and building a close connection. You mentioned that you like it when people prioritize your feelings and believe in what you say. When you can't achieve this, and you find someone who can, you want to take them over. We're probably all a bit like you in that we like being needed, cared about, appreciated, and praised. However, we don't force others to comply with our wishes just because we care.

Try to see things from the other person's perspective. How would you feel if someone made you do that?

We can only be happy if we contribute to others and society. Serving others and contributing to society are fundamental to self-realization.

You're a person with ideas and the ability to make decisions. This can be an advantage, and if you use it well, it can benefit humanity. But if you don't use it well, it could also become your Achilles heel. You like to make decisions, and I like to be in charge. I want to be the center of attention and have an important say. I know that this is not right, that it is unfair to others, and that my own strength is limited. And my arrogance and despotism have caused me to lose many otherwise beautiful relationships and hurt many people I care about.

Individual psychologist Adler said that all human troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. Conversely, all human happiness also comes from these relationships. You have some of the qualities of an authoritative leader, but the charm of any leader comes from their ability to integrate interpersonal relationships.

The three major life issues of work, friendship, and love are all the result of relationships. At work, we need to have good personal abilities and good partners. These are all obtained on the basis of respect, equality, and mutual benefit. Individualism is great, but it can also leave you alone. Friendship and love are important in interpersonal relationships.

Adler believed that self-acceptance, trust in others, and the contribution of others are the three key factors for happiness. He said that you can't have one without the other three.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and self-effacing, just like always.

Understand the feelings behind jealousy.

Jealousy is a common emotion. Everyone is familiar with it. As the saying goes, "The only people in the world who truly want you to be happy are your parents." Even some parents don't want their children to be better than themselves.

This is human nature, but it's not.

So when we set our minds to look at jealousy again, we must ask ourselves why we want to shine a little in the crowd. Is it the desire for control that takes over you, or do you simply enjoy the feeling of being the center of attention? Or perhaps you just want to be seen in a crowd?

The former is Yu Yang, the middle is greed, and the latter is an inferiority complex.

We can only become a better version of ourselves and solve problems better when we see ourselves. So, dear questioner, when you want to solve your jealousy problem, you must know what kind of person you want to be. Only by setting goals can you better adjust your rhythm and pace and find the right feeling.

Here are some suggestions for adjustment:

❀Observe people from a different perspective. In school, during internships, at work, and on the way to becoming a real professional, we will meet many, many people. Some people are willing to let us excel because they can save a lot of effort, while others don't want to. Just as the saying goes, "He who shoots first is shot last," this will be an essential experience on our journey of growth. Give yourself a little time to observe and adjust.

❀Get a good grasp on the right amount. Jealousy is, to a certain extent, a positive influence for most people. For example, if we see someone our age doing really well, we want to be just like them or do better than them. This will guide us to become a better version of ourselves. However, once we cross a certain line, we will enter another extreme, which will have a lot of negative effects on us.

Seize the moment!

Inclusiveness is the way to go. We can all learn from others. On the road to growth, we all have moments of forging ahead, but what's more important is that we need to accommodate the strengths of others and bring our own strengths into play. Listen to more stories, read more biographies, and you'll be better off. The world is big, and only through cooperation can we see a bigger world.

Best wishes.

Hello, my name is Fly, and I'm a heart exploration coach.

I totally get where you're coming from. It's so sad to see how jealousy can really damage relationships. You don't want this, but it's hard to control. You like being the center of attention. Being noticed and valued gives you a sense of accomplishment and worthiness. It's like being crowned king! You can't stand loneliness and neglect.

First of all, I just want to say that I think you have a great sense of awareness and have already picked up on your own jealousy pattern. It's so great that you're already seeing it! Let's take a look at the problem:

?1. It seems like everything needs to be "proven," and you always feel the need to be valued.

You're absolutely right! There's nothing wrong with liking "privileges," being able to control the situation, and actively expressing and presenting yourself. It shows that you have a certain ability, and it also reflects your enterprising spirit!

However, while we are actively expressing ourselves, we can sometimes find it difficult to tolerate the "existence" of others or to accept that we can surpass ourselves. In your perception, you feel that only "proving things" can reflect your sense of value, achievement, and existence.

There are two ways to become the tallest building in the city: you can work hard to be the tallest, or you can destroy those taller than you. It's clear which path you've chosen!

This brings us to the concept of confidence. There are two levels of confidence that we generally understand. One is confidence built on something you have done. This can sometimes become arrogance, because this so-called confidence is a false confidence and a manifestation of inferiority, because you lack confidence in yourself.

That's why they get so caught up in things, using the success or failure of a certain thing to build confidence, as if the value of their own life depended on external material proof.

There's another kind of confidence, too. This kind of confidence doesn't rely on anything outside of you. It's from the heart, unconditional, and subjective. This is the kind of confidence that's true confidence. He doesn't need to prove himself to anyone. He believes in himself and respects others.

You'll get to know what kind of confidence you have, and you'll have the power to choose and make changes.

2. Let's talk about how you can get rid of jealousy and start having good relationships with other people again!

In today's digital world, it's almost impossible to escape the pull of comparison. The word "compare" can feel like two daggers, hurting not just others but also ourselves. It's no wonder you're feeling the strain in your current relationships. Comparison often brings out two strong emotions: envy and jealousy.

It's totally normal to feel a little jealous when we see someone else having or enjoying something we want. It's only natural to hope that person will lose it, so we can feel better about our own situation. But when that person doesn't lose it, it can feel really frustrating.

It's important to understand that jealousy can take many forms. It can make us indifferent, belittle others, reject them, or even turn us into hostile people. It can unintentionally or intentionally damage others. In severe cases, it can generate feelings of disgust and a constant desire to destroy others.

It's so easy to get caught up in the comparison game, whether it's envy or jealousy. Behind these feelings is a limiting belief that we're not good enough. This can lead to a lack of self-belief and a feeling that we're not as good as others. It's a sign that we don't have enough self-worth. These comparisons can drain our energy and even lead to aggression.

Since comparison is something we all do, let's try to make it a positive thing! Instead of comparing yourself to others, try comparing your progress from yesterday to today. This can help you feel more confident and in control of your own life.

Another great way to boost your confidence is to compare your current self with your previous self. The more you do this, the more powerful you'll feel!

Instead of looking outside of yourself for security, a sense of control, and a sense of worth, why not turn your attention inward? You can grow through learning, decide your own value, and true confidence needs no proof because you are full of certainty about your own value.

I really hope this helps you out! I love you all so much, and I hope you have a wonderful day! ??

I'd love to keep in touch! You can click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom to get started. I'm excited to communicate and grow with you one-on-one!

Hello, Evan.

If we see someone getting something we want or getting something we envy, we'll feel envy. If the emotion is stronger, it's jealousy. So if you find yourself having these emotions, it's normal. From the description of the questioner, it can be seen that the questioner prefers to be in control of the situation. If someone is beyond their control or even better than them, will they feel jealous?

From what I know about the questioner, it seems like they need to feel secure. If someone doesn't do things the way they want or if something is out of their control, the questioner will get jealous. So where does the questioner's negative emotion of jealousy come from?

Or, where does the questioner get their sense of control over their surroundings, the people and events around them? Is it influenced by their original family?

Or is it the pursuit of a certain feeling? Either way, it requires self-awareness on the part of the questioner.

Since this was posted on an online forum, we can't go into a lot of detail about the questioner's feelings. However, we can offer some advice on how to handle the questioner's jealousy.

What is the emotion of jealousy?

Jealousy is a complex emotion. It's made up of several simple emotions.

For instance, anxiety is often a mix of fear, guilt, pain, and anger. Similarly, jealousy can also include anger, disgust, and contempt (the three emotions that make up hostility), resentment, guilt, and self-blame.

It's also worth noting that some people will want something they can't have to go away or be destroyed to protect themselves (I don't have it, why do you have it, I can't have it, and neither can you). This can lead to hostility. So, can the questioner understand why they feel jealous of people who are better than them or have good qualities?

They have everything you want but can't have. So how do you deal with this emotion of jealousy?

It's okay to feel jealous.

The person sharing can try to accept that they can feel jealous. It's a normal emotion that everyone feels, and it's a normal emotional response.

This way, we can learn from it instead of just letting jealousy take over. If you're facing something you want to control or some height that the questioner wants to reach and you can't get it yourself, you can have the emotion of jealousy. Maybe this emotion isn't unique to you, and others may even feel it too.

You can acknowledge your feelings, but not your actions.

Try to admit in a relaxed situation that you can feel jealous of someone or something. Of course, there is a little trick to how to do this without being criticized by others. Partially admit the obvious facts, judgments, or emotions (denial seems too fake, and attacking seems too silly), add an additional item, and absolutely deny the tendency to act negatively.

So, you admit the obvious characteristics, add an extra item, and deny that you would take the action. For example, you could say, "Who wouldn't be jealous of someone as beautiful as her? I would like to be jealous too, but she is so warm and generous that I like her very much and can't be jealous."

Keep an eye out for the negative experiences that jealousy can bring up for the person expressing it.

This is a great way to identify jealousy. The sooner we catch it, the more efficiently we can redirect it into a more positive emotion.

If you feel jealous, it's worth taking a step back to see what kind of experience it has brought you. As the author mentioned in the article, jealousy has also caused the author to lose many good relationships.

The questioner can try to face these uncomfortable experiences again and give themselves a hint: "Jealousy" has only brought me bad experiences, made me lose a lot of good things, and miss a lot of good people and things. I don't want these bad experiences.

Be aware of what's really behind your jealousy.

Think about how you can use this jealousy to make life, work, and important decisions better, rather than letting it get in your way. Be brave in facing your emotions, and be brave in discerning the source of your emotions. What are the deeper expectations?

The questioner mentioned in the description that they like to control things and people around them. Think about what emotions you would feel if you encountered something you weren't good at and couldn't control.

Take a moment to think about what emotions you would feel if you didn't have control over everything. Why do you have these emotions?

What are you hoping for, what do you want, and what are your opinions?

Be grateful always.

Be grateful for any inspiration you can get from jealousy, and also be grateful to those who make you feel jealous. They might be the ones who give you the motivation to aim for a better life and higher education. Be grateful to them, so you have someone to look up to.

And learn to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy.

This ability can help the questioner handle and control their reaction to jealousy better, and also help them understand themselves better. Someone who knows how to learn from the good will turn jealousy into motivation and resentment into appreciation and liking. At this point, the questioner will definitely usher in a different life.

I hope my answer helps the original poster!