Why are there some things that I just don't want to do? What is willing? How do I cultivate it?

Hello, landlord! I saw your description and it really resonated with me. It's so true that life has no purpose if you don't have goals and a plan. The text describes how sometimes you don't want to do the things you know you should, but after a while, you're more than willing to do them again. This makes you feel like you can do anything!

If you want to succeed at something, you absolutely need a sense of accomplishment!

You don't need chicken soup. You need a sense of accomplishment! When you feel that sense of accomplishment, you'll be ready to take on anything.

When our spirits feel empty, can we be filled up by just a few bowls of chicken soup? Absolutely! We have indeed done this before. Those inspirational books and spiritual mentors that abound, like the inspirational books of the 100 Flowers Blooming Class, claim to be psychological experts and that there is no psychological trauma that cannot be healed. They have a beautiful name: "spiritual Band-Aid"!

However, the spiritual mentors who claim to be able to heal all psychological wounds are often self-contradictory. Today they tell you to be calm and collected, that if you are at peace, it will be a sunny day. Tomorrow they will teach you to charge ahead, not to give up, to let your little universe explode. After drinking this bowl of chicken soup, are you even more confused than before?

The "King of Part-time Workers" Tang Juncheng once said, "My success can be replicated!" This quote ignited the passion of countless workers, and Tang Jun's autobiography, which was named after this quote, was a runaway bestseller!

But after so many years, no one has come forward to say, "I've made it, I'm the second Tang Jun," which means there's still room for one more!

But what we really need is a sense of achievement!

We often see this kind of scene in TV dramas: the male protagonist falls off a cliff, and the camera goes black with a row of text reading "one year later." He reappears in the world and becomes the number one master in the world! This is very similar to the routine of "Chicken Soup for the Soul": it makes people feel 100% confident that they will succeed, and it's a great way to get excited about the journey ahead!

When we encounter setbacks, we can't just sit around and drink chicken soup. We have to get up and try something new! It'll give us a new lease on life and help us feel accomplished.

There are so many other ways to replace drinking chicken soup!

Find a place you love, plan an amazing trip, and go on an incredible spontaneous adventure!

Invite three or five friends over for a meal at the weekend! It's a great way to let everyone vent about the hardships of the past few days and enjoy the feeling of relief.

You can also go to the gym and sweat it out, join a workout class, follow the rhythm of the music, and let go of your worries. The next day, when you step on the scale and see your weight decreasing day by day, you'll feel a fantastic sense of accomplishment!

A hot bowl of chicken soup certainly warms the stomach, but only a real sense of accomplishment can warm the heart!

When we feel accomplished, we're ready to take on the world! There's no such thing as "unwillingness" in our dictionary.

This is a topic worth exploring. I believe that willingness is a force that rises from the heart.

Willingness is like a soulmate—someone who's in tune with you, who gets what you like and makes choices for you, like whether to do something or not, or to do it or not, or to choose A or B.

As the ancients said, "At thirty, you establish yourself; at forty, you're not perplexed; at fifty, you know your destiny." As we grow older, our state of mind changes a lot. Maybe things that we couldn't understand before suddenly become clear to us.

We're suddenly willing to do things we wouldn't have done before. This shows that we've changed, and our view of the world has changed too.

Our living environment and the information we receive every day influence us. The world is changing, and our lives are very different from the past. The pandemic of the past two years has had a huge impact on us. Three years ago, I never imagined that I would not be able to travel and that I would have to wear a mask when going out.

I'm also willing to take the nucleic acid test and wear a mask, even in the heat.

This is down to the external environment. We have to do it, and before we know it, we'll be willing to do things because to maintain good health, life is most important.

And then there's the influence within us, as you said, which requires a certain cultivation.

People are always looking for happiness. What is happiness? Everyone has a different definition, but it's probably safe to say that happiness is about satisfying a certain need in your heart. Contentment is probably happiness.

At the end of the day, what you really want is to keep exploring yourself, to look inward and really get to know yourself better. This is a process of continuous cultivation.

It's important to regularly reflect on what you want most and what kind of person you want to be.

Then, work towards your goals and make up for any deficiencies. If you lack knowledge, read and study. If you lack contacts, go out and meet like-minded people by participating in more activities. If you lack resources, find ways to get them.

Follow your heart, get to know yourself, discover yourself, and work on your character in your daily life. Strengthen your inner thoughts and intentions, and you'll see that things will turn out as you wish.

I hope this is helpful.

Your question makes me wonder if the poster is suffering because of it. What are your feelings?

Regarding the question from the original poster:

The description says, "I'm getting more and more confused. I need to understand why I'm unwilling to do some things, but willing to do others. I don't want to do some things now, but I will in the future. What is this willingness? Is it an attitude, an emotion, a feeling?"

I want to know how it came about. I also want to know the rules and how we can cultivate willingness.

"

"The world is simple, but people are complicated. If you want to see the essence behind the willingness to do something, you'll find it's all of the above."

Your attitude is likely the cause. If you approve of something, you do it. If you don't, you give up.

This will make you happy. It will bring you emotional value.

Doing this task out of feelings can keep you from suffering. You can consider your own feelings and those of your family and friends.

My own experience is as follows:

In school, I wasn't expected to delve deeply into a problem and focus on the core issue. After college, I was in pain and confused. When I had a problem, I sought answers through various channels, but the problems kept piling up. I distracted myself. The problem may still be there, but I'm not obsessed anymore. After entering society, I became more pragmatic. (I hope my experience can give you some insight.)

I'm confident this will help!

Dear Host, I came to your building today with the hope that my words might provide you with some perspective and support, both in the short and long term.

You have indicated that you are experiencing an increase in confusion and a shift in perspective on certain matters. You are seeking to understand why you are reluctant to undertake certain tasks.

Please define what is meant by the term "willingness." Is there a willingness to do something?

This question prompts individuals to reflect on their identity and aspirations.

The cultivation of willingness can be understood as a consistent pursuit of a defined goal, informed by an understanding of one's identity. As a human being in this world, time is a constant, regardless of one's willingness. If we can align our actions with a chosen path and work towards becoming the person we aspire to be, we can achieve a sense of fulfillment.

Perhaps we could consider this approach.

It is important to recognize the resilience and flexibility in willingness. When we suddenly lose our willingness to do something, it may not be a lack of desire, but rather a lack of ability. Have we made a choice that aligns with the current situation, or are we lacking in persistence? By examining our motivations more closely, we can develop resilience in persistence and flexibility in acceptance. Confusion is often a catalyst for growth.

It is important to strive for the freedom to express unwillingness. Having a clear identity and understanding your core values is key to navigating life's choices. As long as your inner core remains unchanged, you can approach external situations with a sense of freedom, whether you are willing or unwilling to do something.

Occasionally, when we wish to express our reluctance, we encounter resistance. This may emanate from external sources or originate from within ourselves.

Willingness indicates a path of growth. During our formative years, our willingness may have been largely influenced by our family and environment. As we matured, we began to incorporate our own considerations, gradually pursuing activities aligned with our values. The journey towards independence and self-discovery is inherently exploratory and prone to fluctuations. As we gain clarity and confidence in our inner resolve, our willingness becomes increasingly stable. This is a form of growth.

That concludes today's session. I would like to thank the original poster for raising the question, which has prompted me to reflect further on the concepts of willingness and unwillingness. I wish you all the best.

May I respectfully offer some insight into the mind, suggesting that sharing might become a habit? I am talking to myself.

If I may, I would like to share with the original poster the topic of emotional health.

I hope that sharing this topic will help to clarify some of the questioner's doubts, but I do not wish to endorse the idea that we should allow ourselves to be dominated by our emotions.

When each of us faces an issue, we have the choice to either do it or not.

It is important to recognize that emotions can have a significant impact on our lives, even in the real world.

If I may, I would like to single out the topic of "emotional health" to share with you today.

It would be remiss of me not to mention that there is a greater reality of emotions that exist in our reality.

1. Could I suggest that you consider whether you can be friends with yourself?

A person who truly loves themselves, no matter what difficulties they encounter, will not engage in self-criticism or self-devaluation. Instead, they will be able to support and care for themselves as a good friend would. If a person is constantly self-critical, they may find it challenging to maintain a positive sense of self-worth.

This can have a significant impact on a person's confidence and energy levels. The idea of treating oneself as a friend may seem a bit vague at first. What does it truly mean to treat oneself as a friend?

Perhaps another way of looking at this would help. It might be worth asking yourself whether you are at peace with everything you have now.

A person who is unable to achieve inner balance may be influenced by the people and events around them. A look, an unkind word, can affect their emotional state for days. Such individuals may find it challenging to gain the respect of others, as they may subconsciously believe that they are unloved.

2. Could I ask whether your mindset is open?

It seems inevitable that the environment we are in, whether now or in the future, will undergo significant changes. We can expect to see many changes in both our personal and professional lives.

For instance, consider a new work environment, an unfamiliar social setting, or a group of people you don't know. If you want to integrate into this circle, it would be helpful to use your interpersonal skills. If you are an introvert, you may naturally feel an unprecedented sense of pressure. Whether you want to or not, if you want to break through this awkward situation, you may need to step out of your previous comfort zone. At this time, different people may have various thoughts. If you just take a negative view of these changes, instead of dealing with them objectively, rationally, and openly, it may naturally make your emotions enter a sub-healthy state.

3. To what extent are you open to communicating with others?

In our lives, communicating with others is a basic condition for survival for anyone who wants to be part of society. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you need to constantly interact with people. Most work can only be completed through cooperation, exchange, and communication with others. Would you consider letting others know more about your true emotions and thoughts?

This will directly affect your emotional health. When someone steps on your sore spot, you may wish to consider whether you would be better off just smiling and letting it go, or whether you might be more inclined to lash out with words.

In our real lives, there are many people who like to play inscrutable, always like to let others guess their thoughts. This behavior may inadvertently lead to a more tense relationship with others, which could cause people to become disgusted with you and stay away from you. Being a down-to-earth ordinary person, people walking in the world should still have more opportunities for people to simply have a real understanding of you, which could make things more comfortable.

4. Degree of trust

It's important to remember that trust is a two-way street. In our everyday lives, we often encounter people who are overly cautious of others, often feeling that others may hurt them.

One might suggest that trust in others is closely tied to one's own self-confidence. In a relationship, for instance, an insecure person may cling to it with a sense of urgency, fearful that it might dissipate if they were to let go or that the other person might suddenly withdraw.

In confident people, everything tends to unfold organically. You can see the good in me, and I can also appreciate your kindness. There is a balance of closeness and distance, intimacy and reserve, and everything is just right. There is no suspicion, and a sense of trust exists between each other. A person who can trust themselves and others is also a person with emotional health.

If I might offer one final thought:

As we navigate this journey called life, we all have our own unique experiences and perspectives.

We all have a range of desires and preferences.

There are things you would like to do at the moment, and there are things you would rather not do.

And perhaps there are also things you don't want to do now, but you might want to do later.

I believe that everything in the world is natural and simple.

Could I perhaps ask why you feel the need to question these simple things?

Perhaps you are looking for a reason?

Life is, to some extent, unpredictable.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to allow things to unfold naturally.

It is inevitable that we will experience some regrets in this life.

Nobody is perfect, and nothing is perfect.

I believe that everything is just right, to the extent that it is sufficient.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and self-effacing, just like always.

I want to know where the willingness comes from.

The question posed by the original poster may appear straightforward, but upon reflection, it is anything but. Willingness is a state of mind shaped by past experiences and the present moment. It is influenced by our immediate environment.

Take, for instance, the case of people who have never eaten snail noodles. They may initially resist the smell and declare that they would never touch the stuff. However, years later, when they are walking alone in the street and see snail noodles, they suddenly remember the happy times at university and feel an inexplicable urge to try them.

Willingness is not easily explained. People are emotional beings and social animals. They are strong for a long time and vulnerable at a certain moment. Everything outside becomes the medium for us to understand each other through emotions, which guide us a lot.

There is no rule for willingness.

There is no accurate rule for willingness and unwillingness. It is generated when our emotions reach a certain stage. We will only show a strong state of willingness or unwillingness when our emotions are valued or belittled.

We do things because we are interested in them. This interest allows us to discover that we are not miserable when doing them, and our ability to accept is strong. When we are unwilling, it is because we instinctively resist things with no acceptance.

Ultimately, willingness or unwillingness hinges on our emotional acceptance and our underlying need for something. The person eating the screw-shaped noodles above may have initially been reluctant to visit the snail noodle shop, but they eventually became more willing to accept it. Making that initial attempt proved crucial in helping them understand their true feelings.

Best wishes.

Good morning, I am writing to express my interest in the question raised by the host.

I am intrigued by this question, which the host has raised. It would appear that this kind of confusion exists in most people.

Please record my thoughts here so that we can learn and discuss them together.

Let us first examine the correspondence between desired and undesired activities.

There are certain tasks that are simply not desirable.

Such as studying and housekeeping.

There are certain activities that I would like to pursue.

Such activities as eating gourmet food, binge-watching dramas, and shopping.

There are certain activities that I am not inclined to undertake at the present time, but I anticipate doing so in the future.

These include activities such as reading, listening to music, and exercising.

Depending on your particular circumstances, you may wish to provide more detailed examples.

It is important to consider whether our lives have meaning. This does not necessarily entail becoming an extraordinary person.

To what extent are you in control of your own life?

For instance, relationships, careers, and hobbies—not necessarily excelling at any of them—but nourishing yourself in each of them is meaningful.

Additionally, consider your desired future state and the person you aspire to become.

And then, over time, work towards the goal on a daily basis.

In addition, there are tasks that we should complete, such as our work.

Examples of activities that should be avoided include excessive viewing of television programmes and excessive purchasing of items.

Furthermore, it is important to identify activities that may not be immediately beneficial but will have long-term advantages. These could include reading and exercising.

Firstly, it is essential to ascertain the value and meaning that this undertaking will bring to me, both in the short and long term.

This will result in the generation of different motivations to act.

For example, work provides rewards, and despite the occasional challenge, we strive to complete tasks to the best of our abilities. This is an attitude.

Additionally, there are activities that are not remunerative but which are nonetheless pursued for their intrinsic value, and these also serve to motivate individuals. This aspect pertains to emotions and feelings.

Another illustrative example is weight loss, which is a topic that continues to garner significant attention.

A woman who is concerned with her appearance will be highly motivated to pursue a fitness regimen that includes a strict diet and regular exercise.

However, individuals who are not particularly concerned about their physical appearance and are content with their overall health may not prioritize dietary restrictions or rigorous exercise routines.

Therefore, the determination to generate motivation is contingent upon the desired state and the consistency of effort.

In other words, the combination of determination and action yields the desired outcome.

Achieving a satisfactory result will generate self-confidence.

Should you fail to achieve your goal, you may experience a degree of frustration or disappointment. Alternatively, you may choose to encourage yourself to try again.

It is also a consequence of the demands made by my previous self.

The law of cause and effect is at play here. My goal is to become a certain kind of person, and I am taking practical steps to achieve that goal.

Even if progress is gradual, you will eventually reach your objective.

Cultivating the following skills will help you to achieve your goals:

It is important to be determined and set a goal that you are truly committed to achieving.

It is important to focus on one task at a time, free from any distractions.

Once a goal has been established, it is essential to adhere to it consistently.

Regardless of your current activity, it is important to take a moment to calm down and listen to your inner voice.

The voice from the depths of your heart is the source of your motivation.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the host for a happy life.

My name is Warm June, and I am writing to express my gratitude to the world.

Dear Question Asker,

I found your question intriguing and would be pleased to engage in a discourse on the subject of "willingness" with you.

It is often asserted that money cannot purchase willingness. However, this is of no consequence to me; I am willing.

It appears that the concept of "willingness" is highly subjective and personal, residing solely within the individual.

As previously stated, I am experiencing an increasing level of confusion regarding the discrepancy between my willingness and unwillingness to engage in certain activities. I am currently disinclined to perform certain tasks, yet I anticipate a future desire to do so.

This suggests that the willingness in question pertains to an internal disposition, namely that of the subconscious.

The human mind is divided into two distinct categories: the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind refers to the realm of immediate awareness and perception. For instance, if an individual is presented with a task that they would prefer not to undertake, but their conscious mind informs them that failure to complete the task will result in a loss of income, they may still choose to complete it in order to earn a livelihood. Despite this choice, the act may still be perceived as involuntary and motivated by practical necessity.

The subconscious mind is distinct in that it encompasses a multitude of unfulfilled wishes, demands, desires, and cravings. Innate needs are also present, and the innate self adheres to the principle of happiness. This implies that once these subconscious needs are fulfilled, individuals will experience happiness and contentment. Consequently, they are willing to engage in behaviors that satisfy these needs.

Consequently, acting in accordance with one's desires without reservation can be seen as a means of fulfilling one's inner needs, nurturing one's soul, and deriving pleasure from one's body and mind.

The act of pursuing one's own desires and inclinations is an indication of self-love and self-acceptance. Furthermore, it is an expression of self-respect and autonomy, as it entails the refusal to engage in activities that one is unable or unwilling to perform.

If one is initially disinclined to undertake a task but subsequently acquiesces, this indicates that one has heeded one's inner voice and not succumbed to external pressure. Instead, one has engaged in a process of comprehension, learning, and assimilation, thereby facilitating the evolution of one's heart and the adoption of a more tranquil disposition.

It is also a process of emotional development and change, progressing from a state of resistance to one of acceptance.

The question thus arises as to how this may be cultivated.

First, when one is reluctant to engage in a particular task, it is beneficial to inquire within oneself as to the underlying causes of this reluctance. Are there external factors, such as a lack of time or motivation, that are contributing to this state of mind?

Secondly, it is important to respect one's emotions and acknowledge the full spectrum of mental states. It is essential to allow oneself to experience negative emotional feelings, to remain with them, to allow emotions to flow, and to permit a natural transition in one's state of mind.

Thirdly, it is important to enhance one's own capabilities and quality. This entails not only the ability to refrain from action when one is disinclined to do so, but also the capacity to succeed when one is motivated to act. This can be achieved by bolstering one's sense of accomplishment, fortifying one's self-assurance, and accumulating a greater number of successful experiences.

Greetings.

The question thus arises as to why there are certain actions that are perceived as disagreeable, and conversely, which actions are desired.

Although the question is somewhat vague, it is evident that the questioner has reflected on life and attempted to draw conclusions based on his observations. However, the conclusions drawn lack persuasiveness, or he seeks to resolve the fluctuations in life through further investigation. How does this fluctuation affect our emotions, thereby influencing our behavior and trajectory in life?

All human actions originate from cognitive processes and emotional states. In other words, our actions are not directly influenced by immediate feelings. The underlying motives for our actions are complex and shaped by habits, perceptions, emotions, and external stimuli (environmental influences). The reasons behind an infant's actions are not discernible since they lack the capacity to communicate. Consequently, we can only perceive and empathize with the feelings and thoughts that the infant is attempting to convey. Similarly, the underlying motives behind the actions of first- and second-grade students in the initial instance of distress are not readily discernible. This is akin to a mother facing a child in pain, where the cause of the child's distress and suffering may not be immediately apparent. This is because children's cognitive abilities are not yet fully developed, they are susceptible to external influences, and they lack the capacity to perceive and regulate their own emotions. Consequently, the underlying motives behind children's actions are diverse. Is it easier to perceive or judge the underlying motives behind adults' actions?

The behavior of adults is still influenced by a variety of emotions and environmental pressures. The causes of behavior are also changeable and complex. Only individuals who possess a clear understanding of themselves and a high ability to perceive their emotions can determine the causes of their behavior in the first place. Consequently, they can effectively eliminate negative interference through their own willpower, adjust their emotions in a timely manner, and make the most beneficial choices for themselves.

For example, an individual who is capable of reflecting on their actions with regularity and one who is not particularly perceptive of their own feelings and emotions will encounter the same issue. Even if the problem is not inherently complex, it can still cause a certain degree of distress. In such a scenario, the former individual is often able to improve their emotional state through self-regulation, whereas the latter is more prone to becoming distracted by external factors and experiencing heightened distress due to emotional disturbances.

In light of the above, it can be concluded that the most significant factors influencing human behavior can be distilled into the following categories: cognitive ability, concepts (life outlook, values, world outlook), habits (living habits), personality, and temperament. Among these, perception, values, and personality are particularly influential in shaping behavior.

What methods can be employed to enhance one's initiative?

1. Enhance cognitive abilities and expand one's self-perceived limitations.

The question of how to deal with a bad attitude has recently become a topic of interest. This problem can be attributed to the anxiety and helplessness that many individuals experience in the face of the current situation. It is important to acknowledge that a persistent bad attitude is a state of low mood and loss of self-emotional regulation ability. In order to improve persistent negative emotions and avoid extreme thinking, it is necessary to constantly improve our inner energy.

In other words, it is imperative that we become adept at regulating our emotions and enhancing our capacity to examine problems. When a problem is subjected to a more thorough analysis, the likelihood of making decisions that are advantageous to us increases. Conversely, we are inclined to adhere to preconceived notions and engage in behaviors that are characterized by paranoia.

2. The process of growth occurs at varying stages, therefore it is essential to maintain a level of composure.

Individuals who experience elevated levels of positive affect in response to positive outcomes and elevated levels of negative affect in response to negative outcomes may benefit from raising their inner alarm, as this tendency to think in dualistic terms may impede mental growth. When faced with challenges, individuals may unconsciously adopt absolutist thinking patterns, such as "If I can't do it, it means I'm not good enough, I don't deserve it," and "I'm too depressed to do anything well, and good luck goes to others." This negative mentality may be attributed to the influence of emotional fluctuations. When outcomes deviate from expectations, it is crucial to avoid adopting absolutist and obligatory thinking patterns.

At different stages of life, individuals encounter different problems and grow in different ways. It is essential to focus on the present and address the immediate challenges before us. In doing so, we can respond to the complexities of the world with an open and accepting heart. By embracing a more gentle approach, providing encouragement, limiting disappointment, and extending kindness, we can regain the ability to perceive and experience happiness.

3. Assume responsibility for the problem and accept oneself.

"Willingness" or "unwillingness" is a consequence of a decision, yet the underlying genuine requirements remain unidentified. It is unattainable for any individual to accomplish everything in an optimal manner; however, there is a collective aspiration to become an enhanced version of ourselves. In the context of sentiments and emotions, it is often not feasible to select the option that aligns with one's genuine aspirations. Nevertheless, it is crucial to refrain from excessive self-blame or feelings of culpability. One should cultivate the ability to accept oneself, confront the distress caused by challenges, and simultaneously strive to transcend these obstacles and innovate. Our emotional states are not easily influenced by external forces; they reside within our own control.

I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to persevere.

You have expressed confusion regarding your willingness to engage in certain activities. You have indicated a discrepancy between your willingness to perform certain tasks and your reluctance to do so. Additionally, you have highlighted a discrepancy between your willingness to act in the present and your reluctance to act in the future. In light of these observations, it is essential to define precisely what is meant by the term "willingness." Is it an attitude, an emotion, or a feeling?

Please describe the circumstances that led to this situation. What are the established guidelines, and how can we foster a culture of willingness within our organization?

I believe that willingness is an attitude, perception, and emotion.

For instance, if an individual believes that engaging in speculation or breaking the law is unacceptable, they are less likely to do so. In this case, willingness can be defined as a perception or attitude.

When an individual is in a negative emotional state, they are less inclined to take action. However, once they regain a sense of calm, they may feel motivated to pursue the same course of action. In this context, willingness can be defined as a emotional state.

As a general rule, people's perceptions tend to be relatively fixed. Our caregivers influence our perceptions, and it often takes a significant amount of time for us to form these perceptions and put them into practice.

Individuals in a negative emotional state may exhibit impulsivity and a tendency to abandon tasks. Conversely, those in a positive emotional state tend to approach tasks with objectivity and rationality.

What is the best method for cultivating willingness?

I believe the most effective approach is to continue learning and growing, expanding your knowledge base to recognize the broader possibilities and potential of the world.

Secondly, it is essential to consistently reinforce your inner fortitude, acknowledge the natural ebb and flow of negative emotions, and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

Should you require assistance in coping with the situation, you are encouraged to seek the guidance of a counselor.

Best wishes for success!