Why did the reward make me instantly lose interest?

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia'ao Buxun, your Heart Exploration coach.

You have an interesting question. You call this "anti-human." You are willing to do things that interest you if you do them voluntarily, but if someone or some organization sets up rewards for these things, you will feel resentful. Why? Is this a strange mentality?

Why do rewards make you want to quit?

If you do something willingly, you'll try your best. If you do it for a purpose, you'll resist it. This may be rebellious.

This is common in society. Many institutions give rewards for completing tasks. You have to do it even if you don't want to. Is it anti-human? Not exactly. It's just practical, but it goes against your true will. It's normal to feel this way.

Why is an award demeaning?

"Down" is an Internet slang term used to describe someone who performs poorly or disappoints others. "Down for a second" means that someone or something makes another person feel disappointed or angry. Your rejection of the reward shows your disgust and disappointment.

☀️Rebellion: You may resent rewards if you feel they are stressful and require you to reach a certain standard. For example, if parents set exam targets as a reward, and if this is seen as pressure rather than encouragement, it may cause resentment. We all tried this kind of "pressure" when we were young, but that's not what we really want.

Practical considerations: Environmental factors can also lead to resentment towards rewards. You mentioned a certain institution that sets material or spiritual rewards for achieving goals. If the scholarship assessment process is unfair, it will favor well-connected students. Even if rewards such as scholarships are considered honors and encouragements, students will still resent them.

☀️Peace of mind: There are many side effects of rewards and excessive incentives can cause deviant behavior or public outrage. Is there still a need to set up incentives? I think it is more important to maintain a peaceful state of mind. This allows you to be unaffected by external factors. If you don't like being motivated by others, you can simply not pay attention to it or participate in it. Just stick to your own attitude and position. The willingness to motivate oneself comes from believing that you can do it. You just need to work hard.

There are social rules, but you should do what makes you happy.

"Cognitive Awakening" is a good book. It says that a good life is not about wealth, but about having a strong sense of self-awareness. Self-awareness is the beginning of mental maturity and a leap towards self-growth. I suggest you take a look. Exploring your inner world is also interesting. It helps you understand yourself better.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, you can follow me, choose the Heart Exploration service, and talk to me one-on-one. The world and I love you.

Hello,

It's definitely possible that what you described—where the reward made you want to do it right away—is what happened.

I've got a few thoughts for you to think about:

The reason why focusing on a task because "someone or an organization is offering a reward for completing it" directly affects one's interest and attention in the task itself, and produces a reaction of "making me immediately want to stop and not do it at all," may be due to the following psychological reasons:

One possible reason is that external motivation replaces internal motivation.

If you do something just to get a reward, especially a material one, you might lose sight of why you were interested in it in the first place.

This means you end up focusing more on the material rewards than on the fun and satisfaction of the activity itself.

So, the interest and motivation to give it a try naturally disappears.

The second possible reason is how we think about things.

External rewards, especially material rewards, can affect how we think about things.

As you said, it's an activity that you're either really interested in or not so much, but you can still give it a go. Doing something you're interested in will make you feel good about yourself.

However, if external rewards are involved, people may start using external standards to judge things instead of relying on their own interests and experiences.

Another reason could be stress and anxiety.

While external rewards and attention can get people moving, they can also lead to feelings of stress and anxiety.

In particular, when material rewards are closely linked to evaluation, people may feel pressure to avoid failure or expect rewards, which can affect their intrinsic motivation and interest.

So, even though there's a phenomenon of "rewards making me immediately do something," it's not "anti-human nature."

Based on what we've discussed, here are some positive steps you can take to manage the impact of this situation on yourself:

First, keep building up your intrinsic motivation.

Keep reminding yourself of the value and meaning of what you're doing.

You can remind yourself of the fun and personal value of getting involved in things, as well as aspects related to self-identification.

For instance, think about how your involvement in the activity fits with your long-term goals and values.

Or just set some internal goals related to the task at hand, rather than focusing on external rewards.

Setting internal goals can help you become more self-sufficient and motivated, while also reducing your reliance on external rewards.

Second, try to make a habit of focusing on the process rather than the result.

Instead of focusing on external rewards or evaluations, focus on the process and experience of the thing itself.

You can get your interest and enthusiasm back for things themselves by really getting into and experiencing things.

Or look for specific activities or projects that offer chances to grow and realize your potential in things, without worrying too much about external rewards and attention.

Finally, work on developing your own sense of identity.

It's important to build a sense of self-identity based on your intrinsic values and interests, rather than relying too heavily on external evaluation and recognition.

For instance, at the end of the day, regardless of the result, you should give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate your achievements. Don't wait for external validation to feel good about what you've done.

This helps you recognize your value and grow, which enhances self-awareness and self-acceptance.

I hope this is helpful!

First of all, it's worth noting that it's uncommon for question askers to use their real names. I admire those who do so, as it takes courage.

Secondly, I have experienced this stage in the situation you describe. Around the time I was 12 years old, whenever my teacher said, "If you finish xx, you will get xx as a reward," I immediately resented the idea and would do it, but I would never ask for a reward.

Specific incidents include, but are not limited to, eating Western food once for every number of places you get on the exam, getting a snack for finishing your homework on time, etc.

I tried to recall what I felt at the time, and I am certain that a very important part of it was "autonomy."

I am free and I know what I want. "Motivation" is not a "temptation" to me. It's like when I was a child and my mother said to me, "If you behave well today, I'll buy you some candy." But I might not have been feeling well that day, or "behaving well" might mean that I need to sacrifice something. So I don't need a reward to act in a way that meets the conditions. I know what I want, and I know what I'm willing to do to get it.

You seem defensive and are defending yourself in a very broad-brush manner. I don't know if I would do something I don't want to do for the sake of so-called "benefits" under the "reward temptation" of the other party.

People will think I'm a puppet if I do something for a reward. They'll think I do it not because I like it, but because I want the reward.

If that is the case, it means that more people can manipulate me with rewards. If my self-control or sense of boundaries is not strong enough, I will end up being a puppet that can be manipulated at will with "rewards."

Listen, this is terrifying. I know it's completely understandable and very human to do such a thing before one's self has fully awakened or is not very clear.

I will make sure that I am whole first, that I am awake, that I have the ability to go in the direction I want, that I can control every detail of my attempts, and that I can allow myself to go at my own pace. I will not let anyone else control me. This is self-preservation. When a person is not strong enough, it is a beautiful and correct thing to choose to isolate yourself from external interference and believe in yourself unconditionally.

The above is my deduction at the time. If the questioner wants to explore it in depth, they should ask themselves: What do material rewards mean to me?

I want to know what my inner feeling is when I see a material reward. I also want to know if there is an incident where I did something for a reward, but the result was not satisfactory.

Tell me, what were your feelings at the time? And if it is explained that there will be no reward, will you resent being asked to do the same thing again?

You should ask more questions. The more you ask, the more answers you get, the clearer the answers become, and the closer you get to the truth.

Everyone's search for the truth is different, but one thing is for sure: existence is reasonable.

I am confident that the above will be helpful.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm thrilled to be here!

Thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us your problem so that we can get an answer! We're really excited to hear your question: "What is it about rewards that makes me want to do them right away?

"After reading your introduction, I'm really excited to share some thoughts with you."

1. Introduction

1️⃣, Purposefulness

You said, "I may be very interested in doing something, or I may have little interest in it, but I can still give it a try. However, if someone or an organization offers a reward, especially a material reward, for completing it, it will make me immediately lose interest and not want to do it anymore."

?? Motivation

It's clear that the questioner is driven by a desire to prove their value through interest and ability. This means that even if they're not initially interested in a task, they're still willing to give it a try!

And now for something really exciting! Purposefulness.

However, if the organizer or institution wants to motivate people to do things through material rewards, the questioner will lose interest in doing things.

2️⃣, excited

You said, "It's a bit anti-human, isn't it? So, what's going on?"

The questioner is curious to know why people consider motives and purposes when they don't know why they do things. They are excited to learn more about this fascinating phenomenon and are eager to understand if it is an anti-human approach.

They're eager to understand their own psychology!

2. I'd love to know why you hate rewards!

1️⃣, self-expression

Self-expression is an amazing thing!

Self-expression is the way we present ourselves to others through our words and actions. It's a fantastic way to manage our impression and show the world who we are!

and cannot reflect oneself

Self-realization is the exciting process of realizing your value in society! You can achieve this through active work and the creation of achievements that make you feel accomplished. This allows you to play your role and be proud of yourself. Rewards are another way to achieve this, but they're passive in nature and involve being told to do something. This means that if you fail, you'll lose the motivation and courage to continue.

2️⃣, Rewards have a negative impact

Now, let's talk about rewards!

Rewards are a fantastic form of affirmation that positively induce individuals to do something. External motivation can create an amazingly motivating effect in an individual's mind for the sake of benefits. Rewards can give people a wonderful sense of affirmation, achievement, and self-confidence.

There's no doubt about it, rewards have a negative impact.

It's undeniable that rewards have a positive effect on people. They can really inspire us to do more and achieve more! But, as the questioner mentioned, they can sometimes have a negative effect. They can sometimes make us lose interest and motivation in doing things.

The logic of rewards is: if you do what is "required," you can get what you "want." This mechanism causes many people to do something not because they like or want to do it, but because they want to get something in return.

This behavior can lead to a lack of internal motivation, doing things just for the sake of doing them. Therefore, there is no joy in the process of doing things, nor a sense of accomplishment or value. But there is so much more to life than that!

3️⃣, the impact of life in the original family

Let's talk about conditional love!

Parents show their children love in different ways. One way is conditional love, which is a wonderful way to show your child you care! This kind of love has preconditions, meaning your child needs to meet certain standards or conditions in order to receive love or approval from their parents.

The amazing influence of family life!

From the questioner's dislike of rewards as a way of doing things, we can see that the questioner's state of life in the original family was that more often than not, the questioner experienced his parents demanding that he reach a certain standard, accompanied by conditions that must be met. This shows us that the questioner has a strong sense of self and is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. In similar situations, the questioner will become disgusted and lose motivation, which is a great opportunity for growth and learning.

This is also the influence that the lifestyle of the original family has on the questioner's future work.

3. What to do

1️⃣, motivation conversion

?? Intrinsic motivation

Intrinsic motivation is all about the purpose of an individual's actions or the energy required to do something in a particular way. It's not fixed, and it doesn't matter if you enjoy doing it or not — as long as you're doing it!

Inner motivation conversion

If the questioner doesn't care about the reward part, but focuses on the content of the matter and its relationship to self-realization, thereby discovering points of interest and stimulating the internal motivation that interests them, doing things for hobbies and things they are good at is a kind of internal motivation conversion — and it's a great way to go about it!

2️⃣. Self-motivation Self-motivation is one of the most powerful tools you can use to achieve your goals. It's all about finding your own reasons to get up in the morning and pushing through the obstacles that come your way. When you're self-motivated, you're driven by a deep sense of purpose and a strong belief in your ability to succeed. It's a feeling of being in control of your destiny and having the power to make your dreams a reality. So, start today and start motivating yourself!

Self-motivation is the key to success!

Self-motivation is an amazing psychological characteristic that allows an individual to achieve set goals without needing external rewards or punishments.

Let's promote motivation!

The questioner looks at doing things from a higher perspective. We adjust our mentality, changing from being passive to being proactive, spontaneously stimulating our own willingness and motivation, so that we can better develop our personal potential and achieve personal and work goals. This can promote our motivation to do things, improve efficiency, and help us realize our self-worth—and it's an amazing feeling!

3️⃣, self-actualization

And now for the grand finale: self-actualization!

Self-actualization is the pinnacle of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It celebrates the individual's drive to pursue the highest achievements in the future, recognizing it as the ultimate human need.

This is the amazing process of helping individuals to unleash their full potential and achieve their personal goals in a supportive social environment.

And now for the big finale! What is the ultimate goal?

When the host regards self-realization as their ultimate goal, they are free to pursue whatever rewards the organizer or institution uses to obtain the results they need. It's all up to them! What you want is self-realization, contribution, and the embodiment of value.

As the saying goes, the higher you stand, the farther you can see! We can achieve the highest state of life, self-realization, by enhancing our self-awareness, pursuing the internal motivation that drives us to do things, enjoying the process of doing things, changing our perspective, and motivating ourselves.

And finally, I wish the poster a happy, happy life!

Hello!

I'm Si Menger. You said you'd stop doing something you like if someone gave you a reward for it.

You choose to refuse, but what? The activity? Unlikely, because you like it.

If doing something you like also has a bonus, why not take it?

It seems like you can refuse rewards, but you can't.

You can refuse to do it because you won't get the reward.

Consider rewards a good thing. You reject doing something you like to reject the reward.

You don't want to give up something you like just for a reward. When you do something you like, you don't need a reward to prove your interest. Your interest is simply your interest.

You like a porcelain cup. Someone says it's from a certain dynasty and valuable. You say, "I like it. It's valuable or not. I like it."

To deny that you like the cup because it is valuable, you might throw it away or give it away.

This seems to be a discussion between two goals: one for your own interest, and the other for rewards. If you have to give up rewards for your interest, or vice versa, is there a fourth possibility? You can have both.

You could do it just for fun and not care if you get a reward. Or you could do it just for fun and not want the reward even if you get it. You could give the reward to someone else.

If you can think of more possibilities, you won't give up easily. It's great to do something just because you're interested, but if there's a reward, you're doing it for more than just interest.

Some people do things for rewards, but you don't.

If you want to do something for fun, you have to do it with all your heart. If you stop, people will think you're not interested.

It would be wrong to say that you won't eat any fruit just because you don't like durian. Doing something can bring you joy and rewards.

You can't just give up on something just because you don't want material rewards.

If you don't like a cabinet in your house, do you have to throw away all your furniture? You could sell it or give it to someone in need.

To give up material rewards, do you have to stop doing things you like, or just learn to handle them better?

Good day, my name is Zeyu.

In response to the question "What is the reason that rewards prompt immediate action?," we endeavor to elucidate the issue from an alternative vantage point.

The topic speaker posited that interest is a primary motivator. Individuals are willing to engage in an activity for which they have a high level of interest, but the introduction of a reward often leads to a decline in interest. This phenomenon is analogous to the Aronson effect, a psychological phenomenon observed in experimental settings. The Aronson effect describes a gradual shift in attitudes as rewards are introduced or removed.

Such an introduction may, to some extent, explain the phenomenon.

If we comprehend the rationale behind our lack of interest in material rewards or our genuine lack of concern or desire for certain activities, this phenomenon is not inherently anti-human. It is simply a matter of personal preference. A deeper examination of this phenomenon may reveal its connection to moral standards. If we determine that our actions should not be influenced by material rewards or used as a form of self-motivation, the most appropriate course of action becomes evident.

The final possibility may be associated with the influence of competition and the pressure to fail. In the absence of rewards, individuals may feel more inclined to express their opinions freely. However, when rewards are present, they may experience a sense of hesitation or even timidity when engaging in certain activities, leading them to avoid such actions altogether.

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, and I'd like to talk about this topic with you.

Emotional perception is our ability to recognize, control, and regulate our own emotions. It's also a key aspect of emotional intelligence.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun notes that many people struggle to manage their emotions and reactions because they confuse feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

What are feelings? They're the physical and biological reactions of the body to external factors.

For instance, if someone stabs you with a needle, you feel pain. If it's cold outside, you feel cold. Feelings include reactions to things in the environment and things going on inside you.

What are emotions? They're how we react to feelings.

For instance, if it's a hot day and you're feeling annoyed or excited because your palms are sweaty and your heart's racing, that's an emotional response. Emotions and feelings generally respond through the peripheral nervous system of the nervous system.

Thoughts are how we make sense of our feelings and emotions.

Since thoughts involve understanding and interpretation, they generally originate in the central nervous system, not the peripheral nervous system.

As the questioner wrote, a person may be interested in doing something, or may be willing to try it. However, if someone offers a material reward, then I will immediately give up and have no desire to do it at all.

Next, we'll take another look at this process to see if we can understand how our emotions change and then manage and express our emotions to solve this problem of emotional perception.

What are my feelings and thoughts when someone or an organization offers a specific reward, especially a material reward, after I have taken on a task or project? This is something that matches my interests and hobbies, so I am willing to do it.

This task isn't particularly exciting, but it might help me learn a new skill, so I'm willing to give it a shot. However, I'm not interested in being motivated by a reward, especially not a material one.

We can also ask ourselves what we value in doing things and being rewarded. How does our heart explain this?

We can also ask ourselves what we're avoiding because it's not what we truly want. If there's no emotional or mental block, what's our reaction?

We can also think back to our childhood, when we were toddlers or trying to eat with chopsticks, and were interrupted and stopped countless times by our mothers because they were worried and anxious about bad consequences. Over time, we'll judge ourselves about things we don't know, like "I can't do it well." This will gradually become a problem for our sense of self-efficacy, and we'll lose interest in new things or tasks.

And have our parents ever used material rewards to get us to study, draw, play the piano, etc.? Over time, we may feel like what we do is for our parents, not out of our own interests, and we may even resent it. This is known in psychology as the "Deseo effect."

Our feelings, emotions, and thoughts are actually the result of a smooth relationship and coordination between our nervous system and brain. When this relationship is harmonious, it brings peace to the mind.

It's always a good idea to be aware of our emotions and to try to record what we're feeling in the moment. Your writing is just for yourself, so feel free to write about your feelings honestly. This will help us understand the causes and effects of emotions and also help us clarify the root of the problem.

It's also important to understand the underlying needs that drive our emotions. What are we truly seeking? Identifying our genuine desires helps us distinguish between what we really want and what we think we want.

What do others want me to want? As Winnicott said, healing happens when your true self begins to emerge.

We need to get to know ourselves and face the real us.

If this is an issue for you, it can be tough to overcome it straight away. It's a good idea to find a family member or friend you trust who you can talk to. If you need to, you can also look for a counselor. It's important to have someone you can talk to about your feelings.

We also need to keep exploring ways to improve ourselves and become more aware of ourselves. Over time, we'll learn our own unique value and create a system for assessing ourselves. You'll be able to face life with confidence and make choices with confidence.

I'd also suggest reading "The Plastic Me."

Hello, your reaction to material rewards shows a complex psychological dynamic. When someone is interested in or willing to try something, but then material rewards are involved, interest disappears. This may involve a complex interaction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

Intrinsic motivation is doing something for the sake of doing it. It's about personal autonomy, competence, and achievement.

External motivation is driven by external factors like rewards, punishments, or the approval of others. Sometimes, when external rewards are introduced, they can make a person less motivated internally. This is called the "overjustification effect."

Material rewards can make you feel like you're being controlled. If the reward seems too big or doesn't match your values, you might resist it.

Also, how you see the reward can affect you. If you think it shows you're not good at something or challenges your values, it can make you feel bad about yourself.

This emotional reaction may make you feel uncomfortable and resentful.

Understanding these psychological mechanisms is crucial to solving the problem you are facing. Recognizing that this reaction is normal can help you understand your feelings and find ways to adjust your response to rewards.

Here are some reasons and explanations:

1. People are driven by two types of motivation: intrinsic (to satisfy personal interests, grow, or feel satisfaction) and extrinsic (to obtain rewards or avoid punishment). When external rewards are introduced, they may sometimes weaken intrinsic motivation, causing people to lose interest in activities that they were originally interested in.

2. **Perception of rewards**: People may resist rewards if they feel controlled or pressured. They may feel their freedom is restricted or feel they must do something to get a reward, which may reduce enjoyment.

3. The type and size of a reward can also affect how people respond. If a reward is seen as fake or not good enough, it may not encourage positive behavior.

4. Personal values affect how we react to rewards. If you value autonomy and personal choice, you may be more sensitive to forced actions.

5. Past experiences can also affect how we see rewards. If we've had a bad experience with rewards before, we might not want them.

6. Doubts about one's own abilities: Material rewards can make people think that without them, they won't be able to do something.

To cope, try:

Think about why you do things. Are you doing them for yourself or for other people?

- Think about if the reward is right for you.

- See rewards as recognition of your efforts, not as control or pressure.

Enjoy the process, not just the reward.

If you don't like a reward, tell the person or organization offering it.

Everyone responds to rewards differently. It's important to find the right motivation and incentives. By understanding your values and motivations, you can decide which rewards are positive for you.

Hello, I'm Li Di, and I'm so grateful for this amazing encounter!

It's so interesting how when you're still thinking about trying to do something, someone or an organization adds incentives, especially material incentives, to that thing. It immediately takes away all your motivation to do it! It's as if you're anti-human, that you don't understand what's wrong with you, that you are very confused, and that you want someone to give you a hug and explore why you are like this.

Your question is definitely worth pondering! When I want to try doing something, if someone suddenly adds a reward or material reward, I immediately lose interest. Is there a sense of being deprived of initiative and exploration? It seems like I can't control myself anymore. Did this happen a lot when I was growing up?

I want to do it, but I resent this approach. I want to show my personal initiative or internal drive more. Then, on the other hand, if I don't care about rewards or not, but instead ask myself before doing something what it means to me, why I want to try it, and whether it's worth trying, will I still focus on the reward?

In other words, I want to find a way to give meaning or value to this thing myself, rather than handing over the initiative to someone else or an institution.

When you say, "Rewards make me immediately subservient," it's clear you're on a journey to find your true self and live a life of fulfillment. This situation shows you have a deep awareness of the intrinsic value and meaning of things and a strong desire to act according to your own wishes and interests.

When external rewards are involved, you may feel a potential threat, worrying that this will affect your autonomy and make your actions no longer pure and driven from within. But there's no need to fret! This concern touches on your desire for free will and self-realization, which is very human. And there's nothing wrong with that!

In your expression, I also hear a delicate awareness of complex emotions – on the one hand, enthusiasm for something you are interested in, and on the other hand, a sense of caution about the possible negative effects of rewards. This caution may stem from a desire to maintain your self-worth and the purity of your actions – and I admire your desire to maintain your self-worth and the purity of your actions!

Material rewards can be a great motivator, but they can also make you feel like you're living for the approval of others rather than for yourself. This is something to watch out for because it touches on people's deep need for self-direction and authenticity.

On top of that, it might also show that you have a unique way of defining success. You may place a higher value on the experience and personal growth that come with the journey than on the material rewards that result from it.

When external rewards appear, they may inadvertently change your definition of success, but this is an exciting opportunity to discover new ways of achieving your goals!

Overall, your reaction reveals a deep psychological need: the pursuit of authentic self-expression and inner fulfillment. It is a search for depth and meaning in life, a commitment to self-identity and autonomy—and you're on the right track!

When external rewards are not aligned with this pursuit, a sense of resistance can arise. This is a very personal and worthy attitude, and you should be proud of it!

Facing this situation is an opportunity to find a balance that reflects your personal value and accepts a moderate amount of external motivation. This could mean re-examining your values or finding activities that not only stimulate your inner passion but also receive positive external feedback.

I really hope my answer is helpful! And please remember, there is only one you in the whole wide world, and you absolutely deserve all the good things in life!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. Reading your words is like seeing you in person.

Although the description is concise, it still seems to highlight some confusion. I believe that the state you mentioned is simply an attitude and personal choice you make when facing things, which is perfectly normal.

Perhaps we could discuss this topic further?

You said, "One thing may be something you are very interested in doing, or it may not be. You can give it a try." However, you also mentioned that if someone or an organization offers a reward, especially a material reward, for completing a task, it might discourage people from pursuing it. This is an interesting perspective that we can explore further.

When something is first placed in front of us, it comes with no strings attached. And because it comes with no strings attached, we can do it without any burden. However, once a reward is added, it means that the thing has added value. And the pressure to complete a task for the sake of the added value may just make us feel stressed. So, in order to avoid this "pressure from rewards," our internal motivation for that thing may decrease.

It seems that this group of people tends to focus more on the process than the result when faced with a task. It's understandable that everyone has their own way of approaching things, and there's no absolute right or wrong.

Given the limited information provided in the description, this response and sharing may be somewhat simplified. It is my hope that it offers some insight into the direction and inspiration behind this idea.

Please take care of yourself. I hope we have the opportunity to meet again someday.

The phenomenon you describe touches on a number of complex and subtle psychological mechanisms in the field of psychology. It is not simply a manifestation of "anti-human nature." It is the result of a complex interaction between human motivation, self-awareness, internal drive, and external incentives. Let's explore the psychological mysteries behind this phenomenon together and analyze it in a creative way.

1. There is a clear conflict between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

First, we must understand the fundamental distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation stems from an individual's inherent interest in the activity itself, enjoyment, curiosity, or a sense of accomplishment. It propels us to pursue knowledge, enhance our skills, or simply for personal satisfaction.

External motivation is a driving force for action triggered by external factors such as rewards, punishments, and social approval. The situation you mentioned is a clear example of the conflict between these two types of motivation.

When you have a certain level of interest in something (no matter how small), it indicates the initial presence of intrinsic motivation. However, once external rewards are introduced, especially material rewards, they will inevitably weaken or even replace the original intrinsic motivation.

This phenomenon is known as the "Overjustification Effect," as proposed by American psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. It states that when external rewards are used to reinforce behavior originally driven by intrinsic interest, people will attribute their behavior to external factors rather than their inner passion or interest. This reduces the intrinsic appeal of the behavior itself.

2. From the perspective of Self-Determination Theory.

From the perspective of Self-Determination Theory (SDT), human mental health and happiness depend on whether we can satisfy three basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and a sense of belonging. Autonomy is particularly critical. It refers to the ability of an individual to act according to their own wishes and values, rather than being driven by external pressure or rewards.

When you feel that external rewards are the sole or main driving force for accomplishing something, your autonomy is threatened. This generates resistance because it goes against your deep-seated desire for free choice.

3. Defend and reinvent intrinsic value.

(1) The beacon effect of intrinsic value

Your internal motivation is a bright lighthouse, guiding your way in the sea of your mind. External rewards are like sudden fog that temporarily obscures the light of the lighthouse, leaving you feeling lost and uneasy.

You have the power to dispel this fog and rediscover your inner beacon. Realize that true satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment often come from the love and exploration of things themselves, not external rewards.

(2) The garden of motivation and the weeds

Your psychological motives are like a carefully cultivated garden. Intrinsic motives are the flowers that thrive and grow, exuding a natural fragrance that attracts bees and butterflies. External rewards are sometimes like weeds that are inadvertently introduced. They grow quickly and may threaten the flowers' living space.

As a gardener, you must identify and remove these weeds while nourishing and caring for the flowers that represent your internal motivation. This process not only maintains the garden's ecological balance but also deepens your understanding of self-worth and motivation.

4. Coping strategies

You can take the following steps to balance internal and external motivation and maintain enthusiasm and motivation when facing this situation:

(1) Self-reflection: Examine your motives regularly to determine which actions are truly driven from within and which may be influenced by external rewards.

Set personal goals. Shift your focus from external rewards to personal growth and achievement. Set goals that will inspire intrinsic motivation.

(3) Cultivate a deeper interest. Do so by immersing yourself in in-depth study, practice, and exploration. This will enhance your understanding and interest in things, and make intrinsic motivation more stable.

(4) Establish a sense of autonomy. Demand more autonomy and choice. Demand to feel a sense of freedom and control in the pursuit of your goals.

In short, the phenomenon you describe is a microcosm of the complex motivational system in human nature. It is a clear reminder that we must value and protect the precious value of intrinsic motivation. By understanding and applying psychological knowledge, we can harness our motivations better and make life and work full of true joy and satisfaction.

We don't need to label ourselves because of this situation. It's not "anti-human." Our personalities, preferences, and habits are different. This reward mechanism doesn't suit us.

Second, we can learn about human nature. Human nature is a neutral term. Our first reaction is usually positive, but some people react negatively.

No matter how it's understood, it expresses a common essence. People have good and bad, good and evil natures. One person can have multiple natures because people are contradictory and changeable.

We love peace but kill. We love animals but eat meat.

So, you don't have to define or categorize human nature. Just explore and be aware of your character and preferences. Then, live and deal with things by following the law. For example, I like to eat meat, but I won't harm protected animals or eat illegally farmed species.

Finally, it is about accepting yourself and integrating into the group when your habits are different.

Everyone has their own habits. For example, reward and punishment mechanisms. Some people like them, some don't. If you set them, I will lose interest and it will have the opposite effect.

The first situation is true for most people. This is how schools, workplaces, and national awards are set up. If we are like this, it can improve our motivation.

The second type is common. The expression "Buddhist-style" describes this. It is not beneficial or harmful. People just need to be themselves, do what they want, and get rewards. They can also choose not to do something. It will not hurt them. They just need to find their own balance.

The third way is to adjust your feelings and negotiate with your superiors. For example, self-acceptance does not involve self-doubt or self-denial. Finally, in appropriate circumstances, there is the physical "separation."

For example, there is a school rule that says you can get a little red flower. We just need to listen to it, and the rest can be learned by focusing on "doing your own thing" and "calming your emotions in a timely manner."

If the teacher asks, we can tell them our habits and how we can solve them. For example, I don't like the reward and punishment model because it makes me lose interest. But I also know that the teacher wants to regulate our behavior and improve learning. So I want to learn in my own way without disturbing other students. I hope the teacher will give me space to learn my own way without affecting other students.

The same applies to work, but don't break the rules. For example, a little red flower is a trivial matter, but if we raise it to school, company, or even legal levels, we must still prioritize compliance and adjust our feelings.

Of course, most situations are not as extreme as that. The most important thing in our daily lives is how we feel. We can seek the assistance of psychological counseling as appropriate to soothe.

I hope you can learn, work, and live better by getting to know yourself better and using methods that suit you.

This is pretty normal, and it's not really anti-human.

This might be because when there's a material reward involved, you feel like the motivation for the task isn't as pure as it could be. You might have originally been motivated by an internal interest or a desire to improve yourself, but the presence of a reward makes you feel like you're being driven by external factors, which reduces your sense of autonomy and internal motivation for the task.

It might also be that, subconsciously, you have some kind of resistance or distrust towards this reward mechanism, worrying that there are excessive requirements or unfair conditions behind the reward.

On top of that, your personal values might be a factor. If you place more value on the fun and meaning of something than on material rewards, then material rewards might actually reduce your motivation.

It's good that you're aware of this unique reaction of yours. Do you think this situation has a relatively large impact on your life?

If it's a big deal, let's figure out how to handle it together.

You could try ignoring the reward when you're faced with something that comes with a reward and focusing on the thing itself. Think about the inner gains and satisfaction it can bring you.

You might also want to think about why rewards make you feel so resistant, and whether it's because of similar bad experiences in the past.

Or when you're deciding what to do, try to avoid those with obvious material rewards and look for activities that are more in line with your inner interests and values.