Why do I dislike money, spend without restraint, and exhibit addictive consumption behavior?

Hello! I see you!

It's so interesting how many external things, communication patterns, workplaces, relationships, money, etc., are like a mirror, reflecting some of our needs and emotions. Money is a great object for us to become aware of ourselves and our subconscious.

We often think of money as a very "rational" thing, but it also reflects many of our "irrational" desires and needs.

For instance, if we spend money without a plan, splurging at the start of the month, running out of cash in the middle, and borrowing at the end, it might seem a bit irrational. But this kind of irrationality could be due to some deep-seated needs that haven't been met, that is, the subconscious part.

1. Your relationship with money

I'd love to know your thoughts on money. What does it mean to you?

Take a moment to write down all the words that come to mind when you think about money. Are they positive words like "freedom, joy, abundance, contentment, happiness, generosity," or negative words like "scarcity, stinginess, arguments, hurt feelings, control, disapproval"?

I really think this brainstorming exercise could help you understand your relationship with money better.

2. Your relationship with your parents

It seems like you've just become independent, but you're still materially dependent on your parents. How do you get along with your parents?

I'd love to know how you felt when you were with them. And how do you feel now that you're living independently?

I'm guessing you're not used to it, which is totally understandable!

I'm just throwing this out there as a guess, but I wonder if you're expressing your dissatisfaction with your parents using an "irrational" view of money. Is it possible that you're continuing to maintain a close relationship with your parents in this way, and that you're somewhat resistant to leaving the family and becoming independent?

I really hope this perspective helps you. Sending you lots of love!

Hello. I can see you.

You want to know if spending without restraint is consumerism addiction.

Let's talk about this state of yours.

You said you spend half your parents' money in a day. So you live like this: "splendid at the beginning of the month, straitened in the middle, and borrowing money at the end."

1. What do you buy with your monthly living expenses?

2. What do you get from buying these things?

3. What makes you feel good about spending money?

No matter what we spend money on, it's because the item gives us a certain emotional value. For example, buying clothes can make us look better and feel more confident. Buying food can make us happy. And like you said, buying small things that don't have a practical use makes us feel good.

I understand what you want from spending money. It's a sense of security.

Money can bring a sense of security. But not everyone is good at managing money. So the things we get in exchange for spending money can make us feel more at ease. We shouldn't have an absolute preference for or dislike of money.

This might help ease your anxiety about spending money. You'll never have to wonder if you should spend money. You'll only have to decide if you need self-satisfaction.

Avoid complicating simple problems to make your life more fun.

Read Stop Internal Conflict: Live a Life Without Exhaustion by Wosugi.

Time's up. Take care of yourself.

Hello!

I'd like to offer some observations about the confusion about "hating money and spending without restraint."

The psychological experience you describe, "the feeling of destroying money makes me feel good, the feeling of spending myself until I'm penniless makes me feel good," may involve a variety of psychological mechanisms.

For instance, it might be linked to the reward system that's built into the human brain.

When you're just shopping for fun, it might trigger a reward in your brain, which releases neurotransmitters like dopamine to make you feel happy and satisfied.

Spending money without thinking may also lead to the release of dopamine, which produces a sense of pleasure.

It's also possible that you may have unconsciously released your inner anxiety and stress through spending money.

As you mentioned, you would buy a lot of small things without thinking, and even though you were spending money, it felt a bit uncomfortable.

When you've spent all your money, you might feel a bit of a relief and comfort.

You also asked if this could be a form of consumer addiction. Spending without restraint can also become a habit or an addictive behavior.

When you keep doing the same thing over and over and it starts to affect you, you feel like you're out of control.

However, as you've described it, "splurging at the beginning of the month, being short of money in the middle, and borrowing money at the end," excessive consumption and unrestrained spending can have a real negative impact on one's financial situation and quality of life.

In this case, we suggest trying some of the following specific methods and descriptions:

First, you need to set some financial goals for yourself and draw up a budget to match.

You can start by reading books, going to lectures, or taking online courses to learn the basics of financial management.

Then, record your income and expenses in a budget table to get a handle on your financial situation and see where you might need to tighten your spending.

At the same time, you can set a savings goal and put a portion of your income into a savings account.

This will help you control the urge to spend and see the results of your savings.

Second, try to avoid impulse buying or buying items you don't really need.

When you're shopping, try to focus on what you really need and think about the long-term financial impact.

You can also focus on your family, friends, hobbies, health, and career development, which will help reduce the focus on spending money.

Once more, focus on building a positive lifestyle.

It's also important to focus on maintaining healthy habits like exercise, a balanced diet, good sleep, and time management. These can help improve self-esteem and self-confidence, which can help reduce the dependence on uncontrolled spending.

On this basis, you should also learn to accept and deal with your emotions, rather than trying to solve problems through consumption.

If you still feel like you can't control your spending, you might want to think about getting some professional help sooner rather than later. A psychotherapist, for instance, can offer more tailored advice and guidance.

I hope this is helpful!

Ocean Rhythm Analysis:

1. [Spending restraint] Generally speaking, if you dislike something, you tend to avoid accepting or using it. You accept your parents' money, spend it without restraint, and even need to borrow money, which could be perceived as an indication of your fondness for money.

Perhaps your behavior is not about hating money, but rather about liking it. As you mentioned, you enjoy the feeling of spending money and the pleasure that comes with it. There is nothing wrong with liking the pleasure of spending money, and many of us also enjoy the feeling of spending money.

Perhaps the issue is knowing how to spend money in moderation. Many people seem to have an innate understanding of this concept, perhaps because they spend their own hard-earned money and are aware that money is not easily obtained. This may contribute to their moderation in spending.

There is a common saying that goes, "A child doesn't mind selling his father's fields." This suggests that wealth that is easily obtained without one's own hard work may sometimes lead children and grandchildren to spend it without restraint or concern.

2. [Cognitive issues] With regard to feelings of anxiety, unease, the idea of destroying money, and the perception that one may have psychological issues, it is important to measure these judgments and perceptions against the perceptions shared by most people, rather than against one's own perceptions.

If I may respectfully inquire, why not give your money to others? If you dislike money, perhaps you could consider burning it instead of spending it and feeling good?

It would be helpful to consider whether your perception of psychological problems is accurate. There seems to be a discrepancy between your self-perception and the generally accepted perception. It's possible that your self-perception and self-feeling are different from the generally accepted perception and feeling, and the difference is significant. To address this, it might be beneficial to first examine your perception. Otherwise, it could lead to confusion and misunderstanding.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

You're doing great! You've realized that it's the subconscious mind that influences our behavior. But why does the subconscious mind work this way? To understand ourselves better, we can look back on our growth experiences and identify the thoughts and beliefs that are in our subconscious. When we make the subconscious mind conscious, it won't have such a big impact on us.

You'll become more aware and wise, and you'll learn how to be a rational consumer and establish a good relationship with money.

I really want to help you, so here's my advice to you:

1. Take a trip down memory lane and revisit your childhood to identify any limiting beliefs about money that may have formed during that time. This exercise will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your experiences.

The subconscious mind is an amazing thing. It's where all those beliefs we have about money are stored. And they're usually formed when we're young. So it's really important to understand them. Think about what you thought about money when you were younger. Was it a burden? Or did you feel pressure to have money?

Or maybe you thought that money would bring danger to you? It's so important to become aware of these beliefs, and you'll be amazed at how much they influence your behaviour. You'll discover that these beliefs are the voices and expressions you heard the most when you were a child, which you internalised unknowingly.

But as soon as you see them, they lose their power. So, seeing is the first step to healing!

Beliefs are just beliefs, thoughts are just thoughts, and they don't represent facts. The good news is that we can rewrite our beliefs and thoughts to establish positive beliefs about money and make ourselves happier!

It's so important to remember that beliefs and thoughts are just that — they're not facts and they're not you. You are the master of your own thoughts, and you can choose your thoughts. Let's imagine how you feel when you have a negative belief about money. For example, when your thought is "money is annoying, and I can hardly have it," how do you feel? Symbolize it as a specific thing, such as a hard, smelly stone. Then take this stone out of your brain and throw it as hard as you can with your hand, throwing it as far away as possible. Now this thought does not belong to you anymore, and you're feeling a little bit relieved, right?

Then, continue to imagine, close your eyes, and choose a positive belief about money, such as "money is good, and I deserve to have enough wealth." Symbolize it as a specific thing, such as a sparkling gemstone. Place this gemstone in your mind. Now that you have this idea, feel some of the feelings of having this idea. Just relax and feel it for a while, until you really feel that you have this positive belief. Then, open your eyes.

You can repeat these exercises as often as you like to help you replace your original limiting beliefs with more reasonable ones and improve your relationship with money.

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!

The question is thought-provoking, but I believe the questioner may not have fully grasped the underlying message of their concern about spending and aversion to money. I will provide some insights for the questioner's consideration.

From the information provided, it can be seen that the individual in question activates their mobile phone in the early morning to shop, and then makes purchases regardless of whether they require the items. The early morning is still the time to sleep, but the individual is unable to sleep normally. It can be seen that the individual is under a lot of mental pressure, which seriously affects their sleep. Regardless of whether the items are needed or not, to put it bluntly, the individual makes purchases without consideration. Naturally, making purchases costs money, and if purchases are made without thought, the money will be spent quickly. This is the individual's own need, and it is also a cause and effect relationship.

Many individuals have been known to spend money on items that provide a sense of fulfillment, particularly in the context of addressing feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and unease. This can be viewed as a form of self-satisfaction.

The questioner has an aversion to money, which suggests that what the questioner truly requires is not financial resources. It is plausible that the questioner's parents are accustomed to providing the questioner with money on a regular basis and instructing the questioner to purchase items of their choosing. They also expect the questioner to inform them if they exhaust their financial resources. Money serves as a conduit for maintaining an emotional connection with the questioner. However, they may engage in infrequent communication, indicating that the questioner's underlying desire is for the attention, care, and concern of their parents.

However, parents are unable to refrain from providing financial assistance, as this is the only way they can demonstrate their concern and affection for the questioner. Despite this being a stark contrast to the questioner's desires, it is a preferable alternative.

In order to resolve this issue, it is essential that the questioner takes the initiative to communicate with their parents. This can be done in person or via WeChat on the phone. It is not necessary to provide a detailed account of one's thoughts; rather, it is sufficient to convey the key points on a regular basis. By doing so, parents will gain a deeper understanding of the situation and be better equipped to provide guidance.

Naturally, this will take time and cannot be achieved in a day or two with a few words.

Dear Questioner, I hope my reply will prove helpful and supportive.

From your description, you have a clear understanding of how to allocate financial resources. You demonstrated an ability to spend half of the living expenses your mother provided. When presented with money, you have a tendency to seek ways to reduce your expenditure. While spending money can provide a sense of satisfaction, it can also induce a degree of anxiety. It has a significant impact on your financial well-being.

I am seeking a platform where I can request assistance and make a positive impact.

Purchasing a multitude of inconsequential items without restraint may be a result of your parents' restrictive tendencies during your formative years. For how long has this pattern persisted? Have there been any notable shifts? It is evident that a greater degree of control often correlates with a heightened inclination towards temptation. Given your current concerns about the future, it is understandable that you may have reservations about your parents' spending habits. It is crucial to recognize that circumstances have evolved, and it is essential to navigate these changes with discernment.

The manner in which parents allocate financial resources has a significant impact on their children. If parents have consistently spent money in a particular manner for an extended period, it is important to understand how their actions have shaped their relationship with their children. Have parents provided for their children's needs in a satisfying manner, or have they exercised control and blamed their children for unsatisfied wants?

Money is also a form of energy. It is used and must be circulated. The era in which parents lived spurred economic growth, but there was still a relative scarcity of goods.

The majority of parents adopt a strategy of saving for a potential future downturn in circumstances.

Parents are typically concerned about the future and are reluctant to spend money even when they have it. Money is often limited, and thinking is often inflexible. In contrast, you in the new era live in the present and enjoy the moment, which leads to differences in your views on money. Parents often have no personal needs and ignore the needs of their children, making the children feel undeserving. As a result, the children only buy expensive things to package themselves.

Purchasing items is a way to demonstrate affection, which motivates some parents to consistently fulfill their children's desires, preventing them from falling behind in the initial stages. This phenomenon is also prevalent in numerous families, where individuals engage in comparisons and become dependent on financial resources.

This can result in individuals taking risks due to their insatiable desires, willing to take the risk of a gamble. Once they have acquired wealth, it is easy for them to become complacent and lose sight of their goals, living in the past and losing themselves.

Money can have a significant impact on an individual's life. The desire to spend money is influenced by various factors, including the influence of family and past experiences. It is essential to understand the underlying reasons for this desire. Factors such as parents' values, past experiences within the family, subconscious fears related to others' involvement in one's finances, and the feeling of losing control can all play a role in shaping this desire.

It is essential to exercise wise financial management and resist temptation. Treat money as a subordinate and handle it easily, regardless of whether you own it or not. You should be able to spend boldly and have the confidence to handle wealth.

Master the art of financial management and leverage money to your advantage. Human nature is inherently greedy, and we tend to desire constant possession of it. What is the sentiment when one is given money after it has been spent?

How do you plan to navigate the days ahead? We encourage you to experience what it's like to have no money and to explore the option of borrowing from others.

Life is about experience. You have already experienced the feeling of running out of money, and you will also experience the feeling of having money to spare, of being at ease, and of breaking free from the control of others and their judgments.

I wish you the best of luck.

Dear Question Asker, It is encouraging to see you here.

It appears that you are concerned and engaged in introspective reflection regarding your spending habits. This is an encouraging initial step.

The act of spending may have become a routine behavior, or it may be associated with underlying psychological factors. It is recommended to engage in self-reflection to ascertain whether there is a sense of regret associated with the purchase of these items.

Moreover, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether the subject in question experiences a sense of satisfaction when they have spent all their money. Conversely, it would be helpful to determine whether they feel uneasy when they have to borrow money because they have spent all their money.

It is reasonable to posit that few individuals derive pleasure from the sensation of financial abundance at the outset of the month, followed by periods of financial constraint and the necessity to borrow money towards the end of the month. It would be interesting to ascertain whether the individual in question has fallen into a repetitive cycle of compulsive behaviour.

The term "obsessive repetition" is used to describe a psychological phenomenon whereby an individual engages in unconscious repetition of past behaviors, emotions, or relationship patterns, even when these patterns are maladaptive or unhealthy. This phenomenon may be influenced by a range of factors, including childhood experiences, unresolved subconscious issues, and emotional trauma.

It may be an unconscious attempt to resolve past issues or to achieve a sense of familiarity. One might consider whether spending one's entire financial resources evokes a sense of familiarity.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to ascertain when this sensation was previously experienced.

In addition, the following suggestions may prove helpful in addressing this issue:

1. Establish a budget: Formulate a monthly budget that encompasses essential living expenses, discretionary spending, and other necessary outlays. This will provide a more comprehensive understanding of your financial commitments and facilitate conscious and deliberate control over your spending.

2. Reflect on the underlying motives for spending. Prior to making a purchase, it is essential to consider whether the item is truly necessary and whether it will offer long-term value.

It is important to be able to distinguish between genuine necessities and those purchases that are made on impulse.

3. Modify your spending habits. Avoid uncontrolled online shopping. Set a time limit for shopping or create a shopping list before shopping to prevent the purchase of unnecessary items at random. A study has indicated that staying up late is associated with the desire to shop. Consider gradually adjusting your rest and work habits and attempt to avoid impulsive spending at night.

4. Identify alternative methods for managing anxiety. If spending money is a means of alleviating anxiety, explore other healthier avenues, such as engaging in physical activity, immersing oneself in reading material, or engaging in meaningful conversations with friends.

5. Gain an understanding of the value of money. One can learn about money management and the value of money in order to better treat their finances.

In the event that one's spending habits have a significantly detrimental impact on one's life, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a professional counselor. Such a professional can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of one's psychological state and in devising effective solutions.

It is my hope that these insights will be put into practice, and that all of us will enjoy long and fulfilling lives.

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor in the Transactional Analysis school.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're feeling a bit confused and maybe even a little disgusted and disapproving of money. It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! We all have our own relationship with money and it can be tricky to navigate. It might be helpful to think about whether your feelings towards money are related to some other things going on in your life, like anxiety or stress.

You're not alone! Many people have had similar feelings, so there's no need to be hard on yourself.

From a different angle, it's possible that your reluctance to spend money stems from a lack of confidence in your relationships. If you felt loved and secure as a child but then experienced difficulties in your relationships as you grew up, you might have developed a fear of relying on money too much. This could lead you to believe that having too much money makes you feel insecure and that you shouldn't have acquired so much wealth.

From another angle, this could be a way of honoring your parents from your original family.

I'm really sorry, but since the question was asked on a platform, we can't discuss it in depth. All I can do is give you some simple analysis and suggestions:

Self-reflection is a great way to understand your emotions and motives behind spending money. It's totally normal to use shopping as a way to escape certain feelings.

Or is it about seeking excitement and satisfaction through spending money? It's so important to be able to recognize whether this is your own feeling about money, your relationship with the person behind the money, or an avoidance of the complicated relationships behind the money.

It might be really helpful for you to write down your feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper. This will help us to see the problem more clearly together.

It's a great idea to set up a budget and savings plan. This will help you to be more in control of your finances. You can divide your living expenses into daily or weekly amounts and stick to them.

This is a great way to keep your spending in check, avoid those pesky overspending issues at the beginning of the month, and make sure your spending aligns with your income. Set a savings goal and save a portion of your income in a savings account for when you need it.

This can really help you gain more control over your spending and develop some great savings habits!

It's so important to understand money. It's not just a number on a screen or a piece of paper. It's a resource that can help us achieve our goals and improve our quality of life. But it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. So let's try to understand it better.

It's so important to understand the basics of financial management. Once you know how to plan your money reasonably, you'll be able to understand the value of money and use it responsibly.

It's so important to make sure you understand your own money concepts so you can manage it better.

It's always a good idea to look for alternatives! Try to find other healthy ways to cope with anxiety and stress, such as exercise, meditation, and communicating with friends. These methods can help you relieve stress and anxiety and reduce excessive consumption.

There are also lots of other fun, free activities you can do instead of spending money on shopping. You could try sports, reading, or learning a new skill. These activities can be really rewarding and don't cost anything!

It's so important to have a support network you can turn to when you need it. You can share your concerns with family, friends, or professionals. Your friends and family will be there for you, offering support, advice, and encouragement to help you cope better with the problem.

Sometimes, it can be really helpful to get an outside perspective on things. Someone who isn't involved in the situation can often see it more clearly and offer a different point of view.

If you're struggling, it's okay to ask for help. You can always reach out to a professional. A counselor can help you understand the deeper reasons behind your spending and provide strategies to improve your behavior.

We really think that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) could be a great fit for you. It's a really helpful therapy that can help you identify and change bad thinking patterns and habits. And the great thing is that you can learn how to better manage your spending behavior and money concepts by working with a professional CBT therapist.

Of course, long-term fine analysis can also help. You can find the root cause behind your behavior patterns and identify where the problem lies. Once you've found the root cause and made amends for the relevant regrets, you'll be amazed at how much your spending behavior will improve!

It's totally normal to have setbacks and to try different things when you're trying to change your relationship with money. Don't expect to gain complete control over your spending habits immediately. Instead, celebrate every small improvement!

You've got this! The key is to stay determined, keep trying new strategies, and learn from each experience. Give yourself some time and patience to gradually change your spending behavior and money concepts. You've got this!

I really hope my answer helps the person who asked the question.

Hello, my name is Coach Yu from Xin Tan, and I would love to chat with you about this topic.

As the saying goes, "Money isn't everything, but it's everything we don't have." So, money becomes the love of our lives...

The original poster mentioned spending without restraint, often living a carefree life at the beginning of the month, being short of money in the middle of the month, and borrowing money at the end of the month. It seems to me that I saw my younger self, who also had addictive spending behavior. Looking back at that time, there may have been several factors:

It might be that we're lacking a sense of security. In Maslow's theory, he explains that a sense of security is a feeling of confidence, safety, and freedom from fear and anxiety. It's also about feeling satisfied with your needs in the present and the future.

When we think back to our childhood, we might remember times when we felt insecure, unloved, blamed, or neglected. These experiences can stick with us as we grow up, making us worry that our relationships are full of insecurity and hostility.

Let's say, for instance, that we feel like we're not good enough. It's easy to get caught up in worrying and feeling like other people don't like us. It's natural to feel nervous and worried about being seen by others. At times like this, it's only natural to feel like the relationships around us aren't safe. When we don't have the chance to express these feelings, it can make us feel really uneasy. But here's a helpful tip: when we spend money, we can feel in control and let go of that inner anxiety or uneasiness.

It might be a way to express resistance and aggression. Our childhood may have been marked by strict parenting, and we were unable to resist our parents' excessive control. We could only obey, and so we lost our own space and freedom. Deep down, we are angry, and our vitality and emotions cannot be released.

So, some behaviors as adults might be a way of releasing this energy in a hidden way, as a kind of rebellion and aggression.

It might also be that our body and mind are tired and fed up. We often don't want to admit this feeling, but our behavior shows what's really going on.

We often find ourselves caught in a cycle of spending money to feel good and borrowing money to feel at ease. This can lead to our bodies and minds becoming tired and irritable. As the original poster said, "Maybe I hate money, and its existence gives me pressure."

The questioner has a wonderful awareness of life! Psychology talks about how "seeing is healing."

We can try to adjust our mindset. First, let's get rid of labels like "spending without restraint" and "addicted to consumption." It's time to let go of our expectations of perfection and accept our own inadequacies and true selves.

It can be really helpful to look back at what we spent last month and make a list of all the things we bought. Then we can check whether they were useful to us or not. Once we've done that, we can start planning what we're going to buy next month. This can help us to feel more in control of our spending and boost our confidence. It can also help us to feel more accomplished and happy. And when we look back at our spending record again, we can give ourselves a little treat! We could have a nice meal or buy a small gift. This can help us to feel good about spending money and to feel more positive about our spending habits.

We can also seek help because this thing has been bothering you and causing anxiety in your life, so it is not easy to overcome it immediately. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor because emotions must have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And of course, we must also try to enrich our inner selves and discover our unique value. When your core is strong, your thinking patterns will change accordingly, and you can confidently look at life!

I'd like to suggest a book I think you'll really enjoy: "Be Myself."

Let me be clear: spending money without restraint does not necessarily mean you have psychological problems or hate money. This behavior may be affected by many factors, such as personal character, lifestyle, consumption environment, etc.

If you feel this behavior is negatively affecting your life and finances, you need to make a change.

Take control of your spending and solve your psychological money problems with these tips.

You must recognize the problem. There is a problem with your spending habits and attitude towards money. You can only take positive steps to solve it once you are aware of the problem.

Make a budget and plan. Control your spending by clearly defining your monthly income and expenses and sticking to the budget. This is the best way to take control of your finances and avoid overspending.

Understand your own spending behavior. Know why you spend without restraint. Is it due to emotional needs or other reasons? Understand your spending motives. This will help you control your spending behavior.

Seek support. If you can't solve the problem alone, get help from a professional, like a counselor or financial advisor. They'll help you understand the problem better and provide effective solutions.

Change your money mindset. See money as a tool or resource, not a burden or stress. Understand the value and role of money to gain better control of your finances.

Finally, remember that changing your spending habits and money attitudes takes time and effort. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take positive steps gradually and believe that you can overcome this problem.