Why is everyone around you constantly trying to take advantage of you?

Hello, I'm Zi Ding Ya Xiang, and I'm thrilled to meet you! I'm here to help you solve your problems!

After reading the questioner's confessions carefully, your boss wants you to work overtime, your wife wants you to surprise her, your child wants you to buy some toys, your mother is tired of your complaints, your friend wants to borrow some money from you, and your old classmates only call when they need something... It's time for a change! You need to ask for help when you're tired, and you need to let your friends know when they can help you.

And when you think about these issues, think about the other positive side of things!

I followed my boss's instructions and worked overtime, and guess what? I got a high salary, a chance for a promotion, and a pay rise!

And your wife surprises you from time to time with delicious meals and asks after your well-being?

Your children have brought you so much joy! Their childlike laughter has helped you forget the hardships of the day!

Your mother has worked hard for many years to raise you and your siblings, and has listened to your nagging and complaints without complaint!

Have your friends ever lent a helping hand when you were in the most difficult times? It would be so great if they also were unswerving when help was needed!

Absolutely! Your classmates are there for you when you need them and are always ready to lend a hand.

There are two sides to every coin! Look at things from a positive perspective and you'll see the bright side.

First, learn to talk and also learn to listen! Talk to your family and communicate with each other to exchange ideas.

Let's drain out the negative energy and fill it with positive energy! And we'll do it gradually.

Absorb more and more positive energy and watch your confidence soar!

Second, when you're tired, take a break and learn to relieve stress!

After work, find your new passion! Stick with it and make it a part of your life.

And finally, adjust your mentality, be optimistic, and positive! Use a positive mindset to establish the right values.

And remember, you can do it! Adjust your mood and greet each day with a positive attitude. Love your family and friends—they are your strongest support!

I really hope these tips will help and inspire you!

Hello! I can tell you're really tired. It's not easy for you.

Let's look at your question.

You feel like everyone wants to take advantage of you. Your husband wants you to work overtime. Your wife wants you to surprise her. Your child wants you to buy him toys. Your mother doesn't want you to listen to her complaints. Your friends want to borrow money from you. Your old classmates don't usually contact you.

Do you feel like a piece of cake? You came into this world to be sweet. When you're alone in the car after work, listening to cold jokes, you feel like yourself and can relax.

What will change if you live like this? Will it continue forever?

You seem to be a very responsible person. You take the initiative to help others and make life easier for them. Otherwise, they wouldn't rely on you. You're reliable, and everyone can wait for you to do your job. Then, you can all share the joy of success and enjoy the cake.

If you're tired, you can take a few days off. No matter how bad the company is, you can't stop people from taking time off. You can wait until the company has a holiday or take a few days off to relax. Then you can go back to work when you're ready.

There is a book called "How Others Treat You Is What You Teach Them." If you can take a vacation, read this book. It may help you.

Topic author, I hope this helps! The world and I love you!

She was anxiety/efforts-made-yet-still-unhappy-no-longer-want-to-heal-an-unhappy-childhood-12859.html" target="_blank">happy, depression/always-in-a-sad-mood-unable-to-let-go-of-the-past-unable-to-erase-the-past-hurts-23191.html" target="_blank">sad, and angry.

People care about you, but they won't know unless you tell them.

Stay strong.

I had a similar experience.

My best friend from junior high was in

In the first year of high school, my best friend from junior high was in the same class and had the same desk partner as me. She didn't say much, but she came to me for help when she had a problem.

In the second year of high school, she was my classmate from the first year. She had anxiety or depression. She was mean to me during evening self-study. I cried. My friends comforted me.

The teacher called our parents, and she dropped out of school in her senior year.

In my third year of high school, I got a new desk mate. She was strange. She talked to herself, scolded people, and asked for help.

I didn't tell anyone at first. I just cried in secret. My friends found out and said, "If you want to cry, tell us. We are friends." On the second day of my second year of high school, I told my mother.

I thought my mother would only ask why this happened. She didn't. She said she was sorry and asked me to tell her if anything happened at school. Then she hugged me.

Her hugs are warm.

Your family will hug you too.

I've learned to say no, save kindness for the right people, and stay away from negative people.

Everything's fine now.

Hello, my dear friend! I'll give you a big, warm hug!

This issue reminds me of the view of Adler's individual psychology. The focus of interpersonal relationships is a sense of community. The so-called sense of community is to regard others as partners in our lives and feel that "we have a place" in the relationship.

In our lives, as long as there are two people, a community will emerge. And the best way to achieve a sense of community is to start with "you and me," which means turning our obsession with ourselves into care for others.

In your question, you mentioned all the different people in your life who have different expectations of you. Your boss expects you to work overtime, your wife expects you to provide surprises, your children expect you to buy them toys, your mother expects you not to complain, your friends expect you to lend them money, your old classmates expect you to help them, and so on. I don't know if you've been able to fulfill all of these expectations.

But, as you read these sentences, you'll notice that the word "you" is used a lot. In fact, it's the most common word in the question. On the other hand, you may be more concerned about "yourself." Adler believes that seeking recognition is actually self-centered. He says that anyone who is obsessed with "me" is self-centered. I know this point of view can be frustrating to hear.

It's so hard when you feel like other people can't see how tired you are or how sad you are, and that they won't help you solve your problems. It's natural to feel this way sometimes, but it's important to remember that we should also look for what we can gain from each other in relationships.

For the boss, asking you to work overtime means he pays you and you get paid. To put it simply, the workplace is about you being useful and him having money.

You work, and he pays you! It's as simple as that.

It's probably best not to look for too much emotion or friendship at work.

As a wife, she'd love it if you could surprise her now and then. Surprise her with a little gift, or with a thoughtful gesture, and she'll be sure to thank you with a smile and a hug.

For the little one, it's natural to want to buy toys. And that's okay! You're providing a gift that will bring joy to your child and to your family.

.

.

.

You give, and you also receive, but perhaps the gain is not something you can see right now, or something you want right now. But don't worry, there's still a gain there!

At the same time, it's also important to ask for the love and care of others, or to teach others how to love us. For example, you can make requests of your wife, you can give her surprises, she can accompany you to watch a movie, and so on.

You buy your child toys, and you can ask your child for a hug or a kiss, too!

When you make demands, the relationship cycle will run more smoothly. There is a cycle now, but it is relatively bumpy. Of course, some people can make demands and some cannot. For example, the boss is one of those who cannot make demands, because the relationship between the boss and the employee is more of an economic one, and the emotional value is not provided. What you need is emotional value, and I'm here to help!

You also have a place in your current relationship, but for some reason this position is relatively passive. It's totally understandable! You see yourself more as the one who is asked to give. You don't see that you also benefit from the relationship, perhaps in ways you don't want to.

Now, let's try to look at your gains from a different perspective. For the gains you want, mainly emotional value, you can directly ask the other person for what you want.

They say that children who cry get candy. It's true! People's joys and sorrows are not easy to understand. Others may not even know what we want. So, we must start talking and clarify what we want.

Of course, you also need to lower your expectations. We all have them! Some expectations will never be met, but if you don't say anything, they may never be met. If you do say something, there's still a chance they will be met.

You never know until you try!

I truly believe that relationships are all about communication. I firmly believe that anyone can build a harmonious relationship through communication, as long as they have a normal IQ and EQ.

It's so important to speak up and communicate. Don't let others guess — let's talk!

You know, you can also talk to a counselor if you want to.

I'm often a Buddhist and sometimes a positive counselor. I love the world and I love you!

Good day, my name is Erhu. I empathize with your predicament, as it is evident that numerous individuals are seeking assistance from you, yet they disregard your emotional well-being. Does this situation elicit feelings of exhaustion and despondency? If so, I wish to offer solace. Additionally, I inquire whether you have disclosed this matter to anyone.

It is not a simple expression such as "I am tired" or "It is challenging for me as well," but rather a comprehensive account of the difficulties being experienced, the underlying causes of the fatigue, and the manner in which these issues are affecting the individual.

Your description indicates that you experience a sense of happiness when you conclude your workday, proceed to your vehicle, and engage in the act of smoking a cigarette while listening to the radio, which, it should be noted, contains content that may be perceived as less than amusing. This sentence evokes the image of an individual who conceals their inner turmoil and is reluctant to reveal the challenges they are facing.

I would therefore be grateful if you could inform me whether you have ever disclosed your difficulties to another individual and, if so, what response you received.

If they do not, then it is incumbent upon the individual to take the initiative to inform them of their suffering.

The majority of individuals are disinclined to discuss their challenges. Those who are willing to do so can be broadly classified into three categories.

1. You have previously discussed your pain, but it was not taken seriously.

Some individuals may perceive one's distress as inconsequential, while others may view it as exaggerated. However, there are also those who can relate to the experience. The key is to identify a suitable outlet for sharing one's concerns.

2. They assume that their interlocutor will be unable to comprehend their situation, and thus refrain from disclosing it.

It is a common phenomenon that individuals with disparate occupational and domestic circumstances tend to assume that their circumstances are inaccessible to others. This can manifest as a belief that "you and I are different, so you can't understand my situation." However, it is possible to challenge this assumption by engaging in more communication and discussing the specifics of one's concerns. Over time, this can facilitate a deeper understanding of the situation.

3. The precise reason for this fatigue is unclear, but it is a significant factor.

In fact, this is the most common reason. When they reflect on the matter, they do not perceive it as a significant issue; they merely feel fatigued. If this is the case for you, it is advisable to convey your genuine sentiments.

Let us consider the issue of communicating one's distress in the absence of constructive feedback.

The initial step is to ascertain whether the matter has been fully elucidated. Responses such as "I'm tired enough as it is" or "I'm busy too, okay?" are insufficient for conveying the depth of one's feelings. To foster empathy and receive constructive guidance, it is essential to explicitly articulate the underlying emotions and the rationale behind them.

The second reason is whether the individual to whom one is directing a complaint possesses the capacity for empathic understanding.

For example, these issues can be discussed with one's spouse, who may be able to comprehend the nuances. However, when broaching the same topics with one's parents, it is essential to provide them with a comprehensive overview of one's professional and social context. This may prove challenging given the significant generational differences that exist in our country, which has been striving to align itself with the advancements of the Western world for over two centuries.

The third reason pertains to the question of whether an appropriate time and place has been selected for the communication in question.

In a public setting, it is inadvisable to engage in conflict with another individual, particularly when one or both parties are experiencing elevated levels of irritation. Similarly, when another person requests assistance and one declines, it is unwise to discuss the matter in question. Instead, it is preferable to identify an opportune moment when the atmosphere is relatively calm, during which one can convey the relevant information. This approach often results in a more receptive response from the other person.

It is a fallacy to assume that one can only give and help others without receiving help and care in return. The distinction lies in one's ability to master the method and the presence of individuals who can empathize with one's difficulties. Seeking an opportunity to discuss these challenges with such individuals will facilitate their understanding.

Good morning,

Host:

From what I can gather from reading the post, it seems that the poster is often left feeling drained by those around him. I empathise with the difficulties he is facing. At the same time, I admire the courage he has shown in facing his own heart, speaking these words bravely, and actively seeking help on the platform. This will undoubtedly help him to better understand others and himself, and thus adjust himself.

I hope that by sharing my observations and thoughts in the post, I can help you to view the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. Could I respectfully propose that we consider why people might expect others to satisfy them?

In the post, the poster mentions the various expectations of the boss, wife, children, mother, friends, and classmates, and these expectations make the poster feel drained. I can relate to the poster's feelings and difficulties to a certain extent. This may be a true portrayal of many adults!

Let's consider why people may expect others to meet their needs. When these expectations aren't met, it can lead to a range of emotions. I believe that, at its core, human nature has this aspect of control, which could be described as a form of "narcissism," or the hope that the world revolves around us.

It is perhaps understandable that we hope the world revolves according to our beliefs. After all, each of us is confined to our own small world.

It is only natural, then, to expect others to meet our needs. Conversely, when our needs are met, we feel good.

For instance, if someone else meets our needs, we may find ourselves living a simpler life on our own. In close relationships, if someone else meets our needs, we may feel understood and cared for, and supported in sharing the pain. In this way, we may avoid taking responsibility for our own lives, or at least not all of it.

It is therefore understandable that many people expect others to satisfy their needs, as this is beneficial to us all. As a result of our inherent human nature, we are all driven to seek profit and avoid harm.

2. It is also possible that how others treat us may reflect our own behavior.

There is a saying in psychology that goes, "How others treat us may be what we teach them." What is the meaning of this?

It could be perceived that if we do not express our feelings, fight back or show any emotion when someone treats us badly and crosses the line, this may give the other person the impression that they can treat us in this way.

This means that I can treat him in this way. From a psychological perspective, a relationship is something that involves two people, and it is a mutual matter.

It is not uncommon for others to have expectations of us. However, if these expectations cause us discomfort or exceed our personal boundaries, we have the right to decline.

It's important to remember that what others expect of us is not always within our control. However, we can take steps to guard our boundaries and protect ourselves. While we may not be able to control others, we can take measures to ensure our personal space is respected. If we feel our boundaries have been crossed, it's crucial to communicate that clearly and assertively.

It is likely that such a relationship would involve a great deal less consumption.

For the original poster, it may be necessary to decline in an appropriate manner. However, if we do not decline, there may be benefits to that as well.

3. Consider learning to nourish yourself.

In the post, the host mentioned that you feel happiest when you get off work every day, light a cigarette in the car, and slowly listen to that radio station with the bad signal and the bad jokes. This may be a sentiment shared by many men, so it would be interesting to understand why they feel happier at this time.

It may be the case that this is the only space in which they are unable to consume us.

In this space, we have the opportunity to be our own masters and to belong to ourselves. We can be ourselves, but when we go home, we may be a husband, a father, or a child.

In the workplace, we may find ourselves in roles such as leaders or subordinates. This can make it challenging to feel like we truly belong to ourselves.

It is therefore important to recognise that many relationships can sometimes drain us. On the one hand, it is possible to express our feelings and expectations to others and ask them to meet our needs. On the other hand, there are ways we can nourish ourselves.

How might we nourish ourselves?

It may be helpful to consider doing things that we enjoy and that make us feel at ease. These feelings of comfort can nourish us and help us grow stronger. In a relationship, it's important to recognize that needs are often shared. We can support others, and at the same time, we may sometimes need to allow ourselves to be "fragile" and ask others to meet our needs. This kind of relationship may be more fulfilling and beneficial for both parties.

I hope these words have been helpful and inspiring for you. I am Zeng Chen, a psychosynthesis coach. If you would like to continue the conversation, you can also click Find a Coach to communicate with me one-on-one.

Hello!

Take a deep breath. When you feel overwhelmed, you can do a quick relaxation exercise for your body and mind, just like lighting a cigarette on the train. But deep breathing is a healthier way to do it. It clears your mind, restores lost energy, and helps you rediscover your inner self, so that you can set a new direction and start again in a better state.

As life gets more and more stressful, it's important to take time to understand your own emotions and explore your inner self. This is especially true in big cities, where the pace of life is faster, the crowds are denser, and interpersonal relationships are under more pressure. It's crucial to invest time and energy in managing this pressure, as it can lead to excessive psychological friction and the loss of psychological energy.

So, constantly changing your work and how you work, as well as always adjusting your physical and mental state, can help you adapt to the demands of your current life. However, this can make you feel more helpless, lonely, and even strange. You'll feel less close to other people, and this will lead to more problems, including not being able to communicate, understanding the other person, and the quality of your relationship will get worse.

So, how do you deal with the pressure of life when faced with something that cannot be changed?

There's a story about a scholar who followed a "high person" to learn how to move mountains. The high person set a date and was ready to go. Everyone was curious about what the high person would do next, but things didn't develop in an extraordinary way. All they saw was the high person strike a pose and shout a few words at the mountain.

"Daxian, come here~"... The mountain stayed put.

The scholar asked, "What should I do if the mountain doesn't move?"

The wise man looked at him and nodded, saying, "Yes, that's right. But never mind, since he's not moving, I'll just go over there."

This is a simple philosophy to grasp, but in real life, when we face challenges like "the big mountain," we often try to change the other person. We get frustrated when they don't change, and eventually, we leave in anger and frustration.

For instance, when you're stuck in traffic, when you have a conflict with another table at a restaurant, when you encounter unreasonable people...and also with people close to us, parents only want to hear good news from their children, bosses most want to improve their performance, family members long to be superheroes, etc. All the pressure is inadvertently focused on ourselves. How do we solve it?

You can also look at the story of "Big Mountain." This doesn't mean you have to take on all the pressure yourself, even though you're already overwhelmed. Instead, learn to see the truth of things. Once you understand that the pressure from people around you comes from their high expectations, which are based on their inability to assess reality clearly, you can start to decompress the pressure brought on by others' high expectations. This is the way to remove the pressure of the "big mountain" on your shoulders.

Take the division of household chores, for example. Everyone in a family has to do their share of chores, so if one person does more or less than their fair share, it can cause problems. Generally speaking, if you have more energy, you can take on more chores, but you can't use the excuse of having no energy at all to avoid your responsibilities and refuse to do the housework. This can lead to a loss of trust between the two parties. So, it's best to think about the other person, understand their point of view, be tolerant, and be considerate of each other. This is the best way to manage a relationship, and it can help reduce the sense of pressure.

It's important to remember that relationships are mutual, and the quality of a relationship always depends on the person managing it, not external pressures. When people in a relationship can give the necessary understanding and tolerance in a timely manner, they'll truly feel respected, and their sense of injustice towards the other person will disappear.

If you understand that you're the most important factor in solving problems, you can change your passive acceptance, speak your mind to those around you, achieve true reconciliation, and believe that those who love you will always be on your side, not deliberately creating conflicts just to make things difficult for others.

I wish you all the best.

The questioner has listed so many events in life that require giving, as if they were all surrounding you, constantly feeding you, making you feel that life is not easy and that you are full of fatigue. In response, you even use a sense of mission to explain this constant output, otherwise you would not be able to reasonably deal with yourself. It's so understandable! We all have to give to our loved ones and to the world around us. It's just that sometimes it can feel like there's too much to do and not enough time to do it all.

It's so hard when you're feeling lonely and you really hope that someone can offer you comfort, that your efforts will be noticed. Unfortunately, the only company you have is a radio and a few cigarettes.

From how helpless the questioner seems, I can probably see that there are two channels that could use a little more smoothness.

Communication is key! If you express yourself in an appropriate and reasonable way, listing facts and feelings, you'll get the result you need.

For example, to the boss: I've been working so hard! I've been putting in overtime for so many days in a row, I've already completed so many tasks this week, and I really don't have enough energy today. I'd love to go home early and rest. If you don't complain or accuse, the boss will generally not refuse.

I don't think the wife needs surprises every day. So, what are her real needs?

It's probably just emotional pacification. She might have complained that you spend less time with the kids, don't do the housework anymore, and there's no sense of ritual on birthdays and wedding anniversaries. This shows that your wife also wants you to see more of her dedication and hard work. So, you can sincerely communicate your expectations of each other and express your need to be cared for.

It's so great that you can talk over a meal with old classmates and colleagues about anything and everything!

It takes courage to speak up about these things. I admire the person who did that.

It can be tough to talk about the little things that bother us in life, especially when it's a man doing the talking. This is often because of the way men are seen in our society, or because there's a feeling that it's not the done thing.

We're here for you, too! In addition to your friends and family, you can always count on us, your professional psychological staff.

I'd like to suggest a book that I think you'll really enjoy. It's called "Nonviolent Communication," and it's all about how to communicate in a way that's respectful and constructive. Even if there are some differences, you can still find common ground.

I wish you a happy, joyful life!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun.

You feel exhausted and lonely in the face of the various complicated matters in life. It's like there are a lot of people around you who are reaching out to you for things, but you don't feel like anyone is sharing your burden or asking after your well-being.

The quiet years, the poetry, and the distance are drowned out by the "meager existence in front of you." There is a vast difference between living and life.

Everyone has experienced dark moments. There is no shame in feeling lonely. It is only when you are so miserable that even the person lying next to you has no one to confide in that you should feel ashamed.

Hug each other from a distance. Life is not easy, so cherish every moment. These are not words of comfort for others, but words of self-comfort and self-motivation.

People of different ages suffer in different ways, and suffering is something that everyone will experience.

Like children, they are under academic pressure, confused by their self-exploration during adolescence, encountering peer competition and confused about interpersonal relationships. Like young partners, they face the pain of turning from love to indifference, or the pain of breaking up, or the trivial matters of life after marriage. Like a midlife crisis, the death of a spouse, workplace, or loved one... "Who isn't confused in life?"

Life is forward motion. We understand the meaning of life by experiencing it. Work hard for those you love and who love you.

This is why we feel the richness of life. When we give, we enjoy the gifts of life. The boss asking you to work overtime shows you can create greater value for him. Your wife wanting a surprise shows she is still in a passionate state of being in love with her marriage and with you. Your mother being impatient with your complaints shows she is both physically and mentally healthy and has not yet become forgetful.

❤️ After a hard day's work, take some time for yourself. It's okay to feel sad and to feel sorry for yourself. We need the understanding and support of others, but we also need to stay connected to ourselves.

Listen to a song and find some fun for yourself.

It's okay to fantasize, even if it's just daydreaming or imagining things. Take a break from reality when you need it.

Family and friends are our social support systems. Many people agree with the saying "men don't cry," but I strongly disagree.

Fang Yuan from "Bottom Line" broke down in the bathroom that day, and his wife's hug made him cry like a child. "In the future, tell me if you have something on your mind. It's worrying when you don't."

Intimacy means not being afraid. Remove your armor in front of your loved one and communicate with your family.

Home is our warmest harbor.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Good morning,

Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude to you for sharing your experience. I believe that many individuals in midlife can relate to the challenges you have outlined. It is not uncommon to feel that the responsibilities and demands placed upon us are greater than the support and contributions we receive. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm in the midst of these challenges.

From the attention and empathy you have received in response to your question, it is evident that your decision to bring this hidden struggle and pain into the light was a valuable one. By doing so, you have created a safe space of support and flow for us all to work within.

It is not uncommon to encounter such a situation. Despite the considerable responsibility and pressure, it is possible to create sufficient personal space and time for yourself. You have my utmost respect, and I would first encourage you to continue exploring yourself and setting aside your own space whenever possible.

I would like to offer some solutions to improve and solve your problems from the perspective of interpersonal boundaries. I encourage you to explore the possibility of maintaining healthy boundaries with others.

From your description, it is evident that there are individuals in your life who are consistently seeking your attention, and they appear to be a source of stress for you. As you have mentioned, there is a constant demand for your time and attention from various sources, which is causing you to feel overwhelmed.

It is crucial to establish and maintain reasonable boundaries with others, even with those in close relationships such as family members, in order to preserve mental health and functioning.

The key to establishing this boundary is striking a balance between needs and giving. This entails determining the extent to which you can provide for the other person's needs while also safeguarding your own energy and mental space. It is essential to ensure that your needs are met while maintaining a healthy boundary.

It is evident that individuals are encroaching upon your personal space to an unacceptable degree, creating an environment that is both stifling and confusing. It is therefore necessary to identify the line that provides you with the necessary space.

It would be beneficial to take some time to consider where the boundary is likely to be drawn and what is acceptable. The next challenge may be that those around you have become accustomed to exploiting you over time, so they may initially be resistant to your attempts to draw the line and will likely continue to engage in previous boundary-crossing behaviour.

This is where establishing boundaries becomes crucial. It is essential to set and protect your boundaries with clear communication and actions, and to ensure the other person respects your boundaries and needs. This process can be lengthy, with challenges and setbacks, and a need for patience. However, for the sake of a healthy work environment and timely care and recovery, it is important to persevere.

Reasonable communication is also a key element in establishing clear boundaries and maintaining personal boundaries effectively. In response to the specific situation you outlined, let's consider two hypothetical scenarios:

1. Your mother has called to complain again. You can assist her to the best of your ability, depending on your circumstances, but when you feel tired and impatient, you might say something like this: "Mom, I understand your anxiety and distress, and thank you for finding me to talk to. However, I've been very busy with work/life today, and there are specific things that have made me very busy and tired. Could you listen to me talk about my emotions?" (If your mother lacks empathy, you could also simply say, "Let's stop here for today, and I'll call you next time.")

2. A friend requests another loan, and you are reluctant to provide it. You could explain that your financial situation is constrained and that you are experiencing anxiety about money. You could also clarify that, even if you had the resources, you do not intend to provide a loan.

In essence, you can proactively define and establish boundaries and principles in interpersonal relationships that align with your comfort level. You can then apply these same principles to navigate the challenges that arise in these relationships. From your description, I understand that you are a highly responsible individual who is adept at meeting the needs of others. However, you may also be experiencing a lack of self-care. This prolonged neglect of your own needs can lead to feelings of discontent and a sense of futility.

It is therefore recommended that you take care of your own needs as well as the needs of others, and that you take the initiative to tell others your needs and preferences. This will enable you to guide others to take care of you. Start by finding a reasonable boundary between self and others, and learn to take care of yourself. It is hoped that you will soon be able to find a comfortable life that freely navigates between your own needs and the needs of others.

Hello, thank you for inviting me. I am Shu Yaping, a psychological coach, and I am going to share a few feelings and thoughts with you. I am going to show you a better version of yourself.

Everyone is expressing their needs to you, and they're counting on you to take on some responsibility or give them some help and support. But who can do it all? When you need support and help, you need to be able to help yourself.

You feel lonely and exhausted, and you're facing conflicts and depletion.

Hug.

You have a stable job that requires overtime, and your friends and old classmates still need your help. You are more capable than they are of making your life better. You have your own ways of relieving your distress, and you can seek help and growth with the support of psychology. You are really great!

I am certain that most of our lives are like this, a mixture of bitter and sweet. We can make ourselves more comfortable through some acceptance and adjustment:

You need to learn to say no, stop being a pushover, and learn to allow yourself to let people down.

If your career is in a period of development, you must work hard or re-plan it. If it is just the boss's harsh demands, refuse them clearly.

②, find your boundaries. Know what's yours, what's other people's, and what's God's. Take responsibility for your own affairs.

③ Love yourself well. When you do, the whole world will love you.

You must learn about psychology, grow yourself, see your inner feelings and needs, and try to express them honestly. Seek support and help rather than complaining to loved ones.

You must learn non-violent communication and the art of communication. Build a good intimate relationship, manage your marriage well, and cultivate common goals and hobbies with your wife.

You must put yourself first in all relationships. Only then can you prioritize the couple relationship.

You must develop your own hobbies and give yourself time to do the things you like, such as reading and exercising.

Read some psychology books on personal growth and family relationships. I recommend "When You Start Loving Yourself, the World Will Come to Love You," "The Courage to Be Disliked," "Nonviolent Communication," and "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."

The world and I love you, and I'm here to help.

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate with you one-on-one.