Will a 2-year-old child experience psychological trauma from witnessing their parents arguing?

Good morning, my name is Lulu the Fat Tiger, and I was born in the year of the Tiger.

I am pleased to be able to assist you with this problem.

Firstly, I noted from your initial query that you are a parent who prioritises your child's mental wellbeing. Otherwise, you would not have posed such a question.

Let's examine the issue you raised. The child's mother has expressed discontent with you on a few occasions, which has led to your frustration. You informed the child's mother, "You rest, I'll watch the baby." It appears that your emotions are primarily annoyance, which has not yet manifested. Then, the baby woke up, and the mother went to comfort it, and you attempted to intervene.

Have you considered the underlying causes of your emotional response? Was it triggered by the child waking up and making noise, the mother going to comfort the child, or your intervention preventing her from going out?

Does this indicate a lack of maturity on your part?

Let's continue with the sequence of events. The child woke up, cried, and you and the child's mother engaged in a dispute over the child. You subsequently relocated the child to the living room. The child sought out his mother, so you initiated a physical embrace, but then released him. When the child requested his mother to embrace him, you exhibited heightened emotional distress, resulting in a verbal altercation with the child's mother. The specific reason for this outburst is unclear, but it may have been triggered by work-related stress or a personal disagreement with your wife. From the outset, it was evident that you lacked emotional control. Initially, you were able to express yourself rationally, instructing her to leave. However, your emotions were gradually becoming evident. Additionally, you demonstrated self-destructive tendencies.

Do you believe that the child's need for comfort at night may be a result of your actions?

You are now concerned that your child is almost three years old and that your relationship has had an impact.

It is also possible that the child's nocturnal distress is caused by their own circumstances. For instance, they may be experiencing fear themselves. It is likely that they have their own reasons for this behaviour.

I hope this information is useful to you. I am Lulu, the fat tiger.

Good day. I extend my support and understanding with a 360-degree hug.

From your straightforward inquiry, it is evident that you are profoundly invested in your child's well-being and also harbor profound regret over the disagreement that night. You are concerned about its potential long-term impact on your child, so I will gladly share my insights.

From a psychological standpoint, an individual's personality, character, and approach to life are influenced by experiences prior to the age of six. Some believe that children are too young to comprehend this and that it has no bearing on their development. However, a child's living environment and family atmosphere during their formative years directly shape their personality.

According to Sigmund Freud, personality is formed before the age of six, with subsequent behavior patterns emerging as a result of compulsive repetition. Consequently, individuals who have experienced trauma in childhood may develop patterns of behavior in adulthood, such as a tendency to encounter negative individuals or exhibit a proclivity for repeating mistakes.

However, this does not imply that repetition is inevitable. Even as an adult, it is possible to replace old experiences with new ones in order to facilitate self-change.

The essence of change is the replacement of old experiences with new ones, which in turn form new patterns of behavior.

You have recognized that your child may have been affected by your recent disagreement. Fortunately, you have identified this issue, and given your child's age, you have the opportunity to help him form new experiences by creating a safe family atmosphere through positive attention, modifying your own behavior patterns, and changing the way you communicate with each other.

The issue has reached a critical point, and it is imperative that your relationship be improved. The reason for the disagreement on the night in question is unclear, as are any subsequent incidents of a similar nature, such as the self-harm you have been engaging in. However, it is evident that you have some unresolved personal issues.

It is possible that these issues may have originated from your upbringing, but they have not been adequately addressed. They may be deeply embedded in your subconscious and triggered by specific words, events, and so on. It is important to note that this is not your fault.

I advise that you and your wife attend couples therapy sessions. Alternatively, you may wish to pursue individual counseling to address your own concerns and learn effective parenting skills.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a fluctuating outlook on life, oscillating between periods of depression and optimism.

Hello, question asker! I'm excited to hear more about your baby after reading your introduction.

Because of the conflicts between you and your partner, the noise caused the child to panic and sometimes cry at night, feeling extremely insecure. This is an amazing opportunity for you to work together to find solutions!

I'm so impressed by your awareness! It's fantastic that you're aware of the potential harm to your child's development.

Absolutely! Right now, your child is learning and growing in ways you never imagined. Their brain is developing rapidly, and they're taking in so much information from their surroundings. It's truly an amazing time!

Some memories will affect his later growth, and some will last a lifetime. This is what you are worried about, the shadow of your childhood. You mentioned that your child will hit himself on the head when he loses his temper. He has watched your actions when you are angry and taken you as a role model. He thinks this is a way to vent his emotions. But here's the good news! You can help him grow in a way that's healthy and positive.

It is actually a way of self-harm, which is something you can easily change!

Second, your marriage has a new adjustment period with the baby—and it's going to be great!

It's totally normal for young couples to argue. Once you've calmed down, it's time to figure out what caused the conflict and identify the triggers for your emotions. Then, you can find a better way to avoid conflicts in front of your children. Embrace your conflicts! They're an opportunity to adjust your relationship as a couple.

In fact, whenever you have a conflict, as long as one of you is calm, give the other a sign to stop arguing. Then you can both move on to more positive interactions!

You can absolutely agree on this tacit cooperation in your communication!

And the great news is that there are so many ways to deal with emotions!

There are so many ways to do this! It's up to you to figure out which one suits you best. Here are a few suggestions:

1. It's time to sort out your emotions! Take a moment to see what emotional backlogs you have recently, and resolve them as soon as possible. This will help you avoid sudden outbursts when there is too much built up.

2. Write down the points that are likely to cause emotional outbursts and find a solution—you can do it!

3. If you really can't control your emotions, get yourself out of the situation quickly, away from the environment where the emotions erupted. Your emotions will subside, and then you can sort out your emotional points. Either find a place where no one is around to vent, or go out for a run, do some strenuous activity, and shift your mood.

4. Find a psychologist to talk things over and discover which point makes you feel so strongly that your emotions just jump out!

Emotions are neither good nor bad in themselves. They simply represent the fact that one of your wishes has not been fulfilled, and we have promptly satisfied it!

Every family goes through this stage of adjustment, and it's totally normal! It's actually a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your partner and bring more happiness into your family. All you need to do is resolve any conflicts in a positive way, and you'll be amazed at the results!

I wish you all the best! Have an amazing day!

Dear questioner, I can tell from your question that you are a wonderful father who loves your child very much and always thinks of his or her best interests. I can also sense that you are a very powerful and responsible father.

Bringing up a child in early childhood is very hard work. It's so great to see that you're working hard for your child, that you're not tired even when your child cries in the middle of the night, and that you've stuck by your child and not abandoned him to his mother. You're doing a fantastic job, and I can see that you're a great and capable father.

Your question is a great one! It's so important to understand how arguments between husband and wife affect the child. I can tell you're already aware that the child may have been affected to some extent. You mentioned that when you're in a bad mood, you'll sometimes hit yourself, which is self-abusive behavior. It's so interesting how this can then affect the child, who will sometimes hit themselves when they're feeling emotional.

Our little ones learn by imitation, and their parents' words and actions have a big impact on them. They will imitate their parents' behavior, so it's important to recognize our own shortcomings in this regard. The good news is that we can all try to control ourselves and improve our behavior!

The good news is that the child's current psychological state and behavior habits can still be improved! All it takes is for parents to pay attention to their words and deeds and guide the child gently. They can change the child's small behavior habits. It won't affect future psychological problems, but if no improvement is made now, it will have a certain impact on the child over time.

If it's a big problem, it could even lead to some character defects in the child.

So, my dear friend, I kindly suggest that you adjust your state and behavior habits now.

1. Do your best to keep up your good habits! When you run into a problem, try not to get too stressed out. Instead, talk to the child's mom as calmly as you can.

If you feel your emotions are running high, take a deep breath and find some time to chat with each other.

2. Get to know each other. You can feel that you're both trying your best, but it's only natural that there will be some bumps along the way. That's why it's so important to try to understand each other's perspectives. When we do that, we can be more considerate of each other and avoid conflicts.

3. Try to regulate your emotions and choose appropriate ways to vent your negative emotions. When you're feeling irritable, try to calm down first, or choose other ways to vent, such as exercising, running, or going for a walk, or doing something else to distract yourself. It's important to remember that self-harm is never the answer.

4. If you're struggling to improve the situation on your own, I really recommend speaking to a professional counselor. They can help you work through these issues.

At the end of the day, we're all first-time parents and we don't get it right all the time. But that doesn't mean we don't love our kids! So try to understand each other as much as you can, communicate and express your feelings as much as you can, and set a good example for your children. You're such a responsible dad, and I think you'll become the ideal dad in your heart through your own efforts.

I love you, and I think the world loves you too!

From the text, it is evident that you have a strong bond with your child and are mindful of the impact your actions may have on them. Your sense of responsibility is commendable, particularly in comparison to other "widowed parenting" families.

Firstly, it is important to identify the issue at hand. You have expressed concern that your child's current age of three years old may result in him tapping his head when he becomes emotional. This is a valid concern, given the negative impact of your previous inappropriate emotional methods on your child and the potential harm they have caused to your child's inner heart.

Firstly, I would like to bring to your attention a commonly held view that it is unwise to overestimate one's influence on one's child, or to underestimate their capacity to cope.

It is unlikely that this one incident will have a negative impact on the child's life. Children have the capacity to recover from such incidents, provided that the overall parenting style of the parents does not deviate significantly. In such cases, the child will not be greatly harmed from one incident. The most effective way to support the child is through unconditional love.

Secondly, the child is only three years old and lacks experience in regulating his emotions. Consequently, he may express his emotions through relatively simple and inappropriate behaviors, which is a common developmental stage. Many children exhibit similar behaviors, so there is no need for concern.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to observe and learn some methods of emotional guidance, such as helping your child name their emotions. For example, you could ask, "Is Baby feeling angry when he hits his head?" This will help the child gain a better understanding of their emotions.

Additionally, engaging in physical activities such as rough-and-tumble games or sports can assist your child in releasing emotional stress. If your child typically engages in reading activities, you may also consider accompanying them in reading picture books, such as "Fifi is Angry," for instance.

I have provided this information in the hope of offering some psychological relief. However, I believe that your focus should be on your own feelings and emotions rather than on whether your child will be affected.

From the text, it is evident that when faced with emotional challenges, you tend to exhibit some aggressive behaviors. In this regard, have you experienced instances where you have lost control of your emotions? Have you ever attempted to gain insight into the underlying reasons for these intense feelings?

Please describe the underlying cause of your emotions.

We have provided a few suggestions for you to try, which may assist you in identifying the underlying causes of your emotions.

1. Please record the details of the event in question, including your actions, words, expressions, and attitude at the time. 2. Please use the "Iceberg Model" to explore the reasons behind your behavior.

The following steps should be taken:

Step 1: Document the event in question, including a detailed account of your actions, words, expressions, and attitude at the time.

Step 2: Examine your feelings and thoughts to identify underlying factors by analyzing your words and actions.

Step 3: Identify the source of our thoughts and determine their origin. What are our needs?

Step 4: Gain an objective understanding of the situation by determining the facts.

Step 5: Identify the discrepancies between your requirements and the reality of the situation. Evaluate the reasonability of your expectations of requirements. Adjust your ideas and coping strategies as necessary.

Secondly, it is important to accept yourself and let go of any self-accusation.

Your concerns about your child's future indicate that you are attributing some of the responsibility for your emotional behavior to yourself.

It is important to note that emotional responses are a normal part of human experience. By viewing these responses in a constructive and positive light, parents can convey a sense of calm and happiness to their children, fostering a relaxed and open environment for exploration and growth.

3. Initiate a personal development plan.

I believe you will seek external assistance. You are adept at requesting external support. Any parenting issue will ultimately be resolved by the parents themselves. I believe you will identify a solution that is right for you.

We encourage you to consider enrolling in the courses at One Psychology to facilitate your personal growth.

Parents have the greatest influence on their children, and their actions and words are the primary means of that influence. Let's work together to become better people and better parents.

Hello, question asker! I am Jia Ao, and I'm not looking for trouble.

I have taken the time to carefully read through the issues and confusion you have outlined on the platform. It seems that you are experiencing some challenges in your relationship with your child. I can see that there has been a difficult conflict with your child's mother. I am not sure of the typical dynamics of your relationship. You mentioned that due to your child's mother's complaints against you, you suddenly lost control of your emotions and reacted strongly in front of your child, displaying your own negative emotions: "yelling at your child's mother, hitting yourself, and slapping yourself first, which could be perceived as self-abuse." I can sense your distress even through the screen.

It is understandable that a child of this age may not fully comprehend the actions of adults. It is fortunate that you were able to recognize your child's emotions and behavior promptly following the incident, which demonstrates your responsible and caring parenting. However, it seems that you may require guidance in the area of emotional management. You are wondering whether your negative emotions might have an adverse effect on your child.

I would be grateful for any advice on how to help my child regulate the impact of this matter.

In response to your question, I will do my best to help you analyze and sort it out.

It would be helpful to know whether a two-year-old could potentially have psychological scars after witnessing their parents arguing.

It is possible that parents may inadvertently cause emotional distress to their children when they lose control of their emotions in front of them.

It is possible that children may experience psychological trauma after witnessing their parents arguing. It is important to remember that children's worlds are originally very simple and innocent. They may not fully understand the nuances of misunderstandings and conflicts between adults, or the reasons behind the intensity of communication between adults. It is not uncommon for children to suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and cry, or to engage in other emotional outbursts. As they grow older, children may also begin to bang their heads when they are emotionally overwhelmed. These behaviors can be a sign that the child's heart is still affected by witnessing your intense arguments. It is also possible that the child may not be very adept at expressing his emotions in a constructive manner. There could be other potential harms that you may not be aware of. It is essential to provide guidance and support to the child in a gradual and compassionate manner.

It would be beneficial to learn more about self-awareness and emotional management.

Psychologist Alfred Adler once observed that some people are fortunate enough to overcome the challenges of their childhood, while others spend their entire lives trying to heal from them.

It is worth noting that parents with unstable emotions can have a significant impact on their children. Children are often more sensitive and vulnerable on the inside. Children who receive sufficient care and attention will feel very secure and grow up with more courage and confidence to face anything.

It would be beneficial in the future to be aware of your emotions and to address or resolve them promptly when negative emotions arise. It is important to avoid expressing negative emotions in front of your child, as their psychology is not yet mature enough to cope with such feelings. Over time, this could potentially lead to the psychological problems you are concerned about. It is understandable that you vent your temper to feel better, but it is important to be mindful of the impact this could have on your child. It is crucial to create a positive and nurturing environment for your child, and expressing negative emotions in front of them could inadvertently leave a psychological shadow in their heart. This is something to be aware of and to strive to avoid.

[Love is a remarkable force]

It is my belief that love is the most powerful tool for soothing and healing children. When parents are emotionally stable, they can raise their children with a positive and optimistic attitude, which allows children to grow up healthily and have a happy and carefree childhood. Regardless of how challenging things may seem for you as adults, it is important to learn to control your emotions in front of your children. Even if you feel the urge to argue as much as you like after your children have fallen asleep, it is best to avoid arguing in front of them to avoid any negative impact on their physical and mental health. There is still time to make a difference. By paying closer attention to your child's emotions, giving them more love and companionship, and being patient, things will slowly but surely get better.

[Consider taking a moment to yourself to calm down and collect your thoughts]

When you encounter something annoying, it might help to take a deep breath, calm down, and take a few more deep breaths. If you really can't control your emotions, you might like to try doing something else to distract yourself. Perhaps you could walk away or avoid the situation for a while, go out of the house for a walk, or exercise. It might be best to avoid engaging in a head-on conflict, as it could make it more likely that your emotions will get out of control.

[Prompt and effective communication model]

It is always beneficial to communicate with the mother of your child, even when there are disagreements. After all, you are all part of the same family, and open communication can help to improve the relationship. Children are very perceptive, so it is important to ensure that they are being cared for and that there is a good, open dialogue between you. If you can improve your relationship with the mother of your child, it will have a positive impact on your child's situation. There is no need to worry unduly. It is always helpful to communicate and discuss together, and then educate and guide your child properly. I am sure that with a little effort, you will find that there are fewer problems. I wish you all the best!

I hope my answer is helpful. Best wishes to you and yours.

Hello.

I am Li Xuan today.

I'm glad you're confused, and I commend you for sharing.

As you can see from the text, you are concerned about how your child will be affected by the way you reacted when you lost control.

Children are a reflection of us, and they learn behaviors and habits from us. It has been almost a year since the incident, and when the child is emotional

And when he gets emotional, he hits his head. He handled it poorly, but it's not irreparable.

As role models for our children, we can and should do the following when we get emotional:

Take a deep breath.

Two, leave the scene.

And three, go to an empty place and yell.

Fourth, choose constructive outlets that do not harm others, yourself, or public property to vent, such as pillow-throwing, sports, etc.

We must first do it ourselves, and then tell our children that emotions are all normal and that there are just different ways to deal with them.

You are a responsible father who reflects on the impact of his actions on his child. The best education for a child is for his parents to love each other. In this environment, the child will develop good habits to face life positively.

I will provide you with a different perspective.

You can count on me. I will always be here for you.

I am confident that you will make a full recovery soon.

First, give the poster a 360° hug.

The baby was frightened by a conflict with his wife one night. For a while afterwards, the baby would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and cry, and it took a long time to calm him down. Now, at the age of 3, the child sometimes beats his head when he gets emotional. I can feel your remorse, worry, distress, and it seems, a little helplessness.

You have linked these events and believe the conflict when he was two years old had a significant impact on him, causing him to be easily awakened at night.

First, we must discuss the impact of that day's conflict on the child.

The most important thing for children under the age of two is to establish a sense of security.

Erikson's eight-stage personality development theory states that a child's basic sense of trust must be established before they are one and a half or two years old. This is achieved by meeting their needs, such as crying, with soothing and feeding. These needs are usually met by their mothers.

A child who feels secure will grow up with a sense of kindness and warmth towards the world. This is because they have known since childhood that someone loves them at this time of day. Conversely, a child who doesn't feel secure may grow up with a sense of hatred or skepticism towards the world. They will always worry whether their needs will be met.

From your first paragraph, it is clear that at the time, "the baby cried for his mother, and I held him tightly at first," meaning that you were unable to meet his needs right away. A baby that young cannot necessarily express his needs in words, but he can tell at once by the smell whether he is being held by his mother.

The baby cried a lot and then suddenly woke up at night and cried a lot for a while afterwards. These two things are related.

However, it is crucial to understand that security is not established in one go or over a few days. It is built up little by little over a long period of time. Even if there are a few destructive episodes, security can be re-established if the situation is dealt with promptly afterwards or if the child is otherwise made to feel loved.

If you say that the child was woken up at night for a short period of time, then it's clear that the duration was not long. The sense of security that is still there now should have been made up for.

Let's talk about emotional release.

There are many ways to deal with emotions.

Your writing shows me that you love your children, your wife, and your family very much.

But when you're in a state of emotional turmoil, you don't know how to deal with it. You say, "During that time, I did nothing but yell, and I also hit and slapped myself, and engaged in similar self-abusive behavior." I can sense your pain, helplessness, and self-blame from this sentence.

When you're feeling emotional, the first thing you must do is deal with your emotions. When you're emotional, you're not rational and you can't return to a calm state to rationally look at the problem and solve it.

Once you've cooled down, you'll often find that the issue was actually quite minor. If you communicate and understand each other, you can put it behind you.

Tell me exactly what I should do when I calm down.

I prefer the following methods:

Breathe in deeply, and then breathe out slowly a few more times. This will slow down your breathing, which will help calm you down. You'll find that you're not as angry as you thought you were.

Do something you enjoy to release excess emotions. I like to go cycling by the lake.

Find a natural environment. Listen quietly to the sound of the wind and rain. Talk to yourself. Hug the injured part of you. Then, you'll understand why you reacted so strongly.

Once you've calmed down, analyze the situation and communicate with your wife or other people.

Other answers have already covered this topic in great detail.

Marriage is the closest relationship in the world, and communication requires openness and honesty. Explain the situation, talk about your understanding and feelings at the time, and allow the other person to express their understanding and feelings.

If you look at it from a different perspective, you'll see that many problems are caused by misunderstandings because what you think is different from what she thinks.

Finally, I'm going to talk about the problem of the child banging his head when he's emotional.

When a child is emotional, the first thing you must do is empathize with them and help them identify their emotions.

Do not tell the child that he is not allowed to hit his head. Instead, hug him when he is having a tantrum or pull him over and sit down with him to talk to him calmly.

Give me an example.

Dad/Mom: The other child just took your toy, and you felt angry, didn't you?

Baby: Yes.

Dad/Mom: Children who take toys without asking make people angry.

Let's go get it back from him.

If you keep banging your head, it's going to hurt and make you angry. Listen, he's already not feeling well. Use his personal experience to make him understand that banging his head will make it hurt and make him angry. The more anthropomorphic, the more effective it is.

Parents must let their children feel love.

Hello, question asker!

As a father, you are quite concerned about your child's development. Now that your child is almost 3 years old, he will tap his head when he gets emotional. You are worried that your previous arguments with your wife in front of your child may have caused your child to act this way. You are quite worried and anxious inside, and you are afraid that it will affect your child's future personality and life.

After that argument, do you and your wife still argue in front of the child, or do you engage in self-abusive behavior in front of the child when you are emotional? Children imitate the behavior of their parents, but if it only happened once, and the child was more than two years old, it generally will not have a profound impact on the child. Don't worry!

I'm just wondering if you ever got so excited that you hit yourself or lost control of your emotions before you got married? Or was it just that one night when you got into an argument?

It might be helpful to consider whether this is something that could have a genetic factor. It could be that the questioner just needs to work on their emotional management a little bit, and if they feel like it's necessary, they can talk to a counselor.

Have you noticed that your little one tends to bang their head when they get emotional? It's a common thing for kids to do! Have you ever asked your child why they do that? If not, you might want to. You can even share with them some great picture books about emotions to help them understand how to manage their feelings. And it's not just their head they bang, is it? Let's think about some other ways they might express themselves when they're feeling emotional. There are so many ways to let out our feelings, and your child is no exception!

If you're still feeling concerned about your child's situation, it might be helpful to speak with a child psychologist. Raising a child is a rewarding but challenging journey, and as parents, we naturally want the best for our kids. It's normal to feel anxious about their mental health, but remember, there's no need to worry too much. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

You seem distressed, guilty-and-remorseful-what-should-i-do-6164.html" target="_blank">remorseful, and guilty. You're afraid you'll negatively impact your child.

First, don't be too anxious.

Parents' behavior affects their children. Parents should manage their emotions and relationships, especially in front of their children. It's normal for a child to be startled when awakened by a parent's quarrel and to cry at night. You can take your child to see a doctor for medication. However, occasional quarrels and emotional outbursts don't affect children's futures.

Children may face challenges on their path to growth, but a single argument with parents won't have a significant impact. As long as the environment is mostly harmonious and parents show love and attention, children will grow up healthy. From your description, I can tell you love your child and may have trouble controlling emotions.

2. Try to grow, understand yourself better, and control your emotions.

Everyone has their own emotional response patterns. If you feel your patterns are extreme, you can sort through your experiences to understand why. This will help you solve emotional problems.

If you need help, you can also seek help from professionals.

Don't dwell on the past, focus on the present.

It's good to feel this and think about yourself.

Don't dwell on bad emotions. Focus on the present.

Show your child more love and pay attention to what he does and says. If he taps his head when he's emotional, it's a normal way for him to express himself. Young children don't always have the words to express themselves, so they do it through actions. This is normal. If your child is acting normally, don't worry.

Best wishes!

I hope Hongyu's reply helps. Thanks for your question!

Hello, I am Yan Shiqi, and I am grateful for the chance to address your question.

From what you have written, I believe there may be a few areas that could benefit from some improvement.

If I may, I would like to discuss your emotions.

In the future, when you encounter your own emotional instability, you may wish to consider finding a suitable way to release it.

For instance, activities such as sports and singing can be effective ways to relieve emotions, provided they are not harmful to others.

I believe it would be helpful for you to try to identify the underlying cause of your emotions, whether it is physical fatigue or something else.

Finding the root cause is the key to truly solving the problem.

There's no need to rush. Perhaps it would be helpful to start by learning to control your emotions.

Perhaps we could also discuss children.

It is possible that children may also be affected, to a certain extent.

He may observe instances of self-abuse and temper tantrums, which could potentially contribute to a lack of security.

In addition to a lack of security, it seems that he also receives a great deal of attention from you or his mother.

There is still room for improvement.

It is also important to be mindful of your actions and words in front of your children. Your children will learn from your actions and words, so it is crucial to ensure that your actions align with your intentions.

It is often said that children will grow up to be like their parents.

It might be helpful to consider spending more time with your child, communicating with him more, and showing him that you love and value him. This could potentially lead to an improvement in his situation.

If I might finally address your marriage, I would like to suggest that we do so delicately and with the utmost respect for your feelings.

If you feel there may be some issues in your marriage, it might be helpful to try communicating with each other.

If you feel that communication is not working, you might consider trying a different approach that is more acceptable to both of you.

It is not uncommon for the feeling of love in a marriage to be affected by the presence of children and the demands of daily life. However, with patience and effort, it is possible to rekindle this feeling.

You might find it helpful to read "The Seven Stages of a Happy Relationship" and "The Five Languages of Love" to identify the communication style that resonates with you and your partner.

I believe you can, because it is clear that you love your child and are willing to give him a warm home.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

It is evident that you are experiencing significant distress, self-blame, and anxiety regarding your child's future. Would you like to receive an analysis? We can ascertain whether the issue you are concerned about is present or if you would prefer to learn how to prevent similar occurrences in the future. It is reasonable to assume that your child was frightened at the time, but children are remarkably resilient. Their young hearts are vulnerable but also possess great adaptability. However, the underlying issue lies within your own emotional state.

Indeed, it is not in one's best interest to act in such a manner. However, at the moment in question, it appears as though a young child has taken control of your actions, causing you to lose your composure. Have you previously experienced similar fears during your childhood? Have you or similar wounds been left in the muscle memory of your body? When the situation arises, you will unconsciously act in this manner. The child is now expressing a multitude of emotions that you are unable to perceive. Therefore, it is my experience that if you can heal yourself, the child will feel relieved. Children under the age of two or three do not possess a great deal of emotional capacity on their own. Children are often the scapegoats of the family. I have a profound understanding of this phenomenon. They unconsciously desire to save their parents, and they will suffer, experience failure, or even become ill in order to take the blame for their parents. The solution is for you to heal yourself first. You can find a counselor, rather than worrying about whether you should find a counselor for your child 20 years from now. When you heal yourself, you will be the most effective counselor for him. Your love can heal all his fears!

Hello. It's clear from your description that you're worried about your baby. Before we discuss the problem, I'd like to give you a big hug to show you I'm here for you.

You said that after one of your nighttime arguments, your baby would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and cry, and it would take a long time to calm him down. I need to know how long this situation lasted after the argument and how long it was before the baby started "slapping his head" when he got emotional.

A child who is frightened at night will usually wake up for a period of time. Once reassured by family members, they will typically get better on their own. Most children do not require further intervention. However, a small number of children may experience chronic conditions.

The duration and severity are the main factors here.

You will undoubtedly become a better father in the future, seeing that you are so worried about your child and want to find ways to help him better.

If you are very worried, you should go to the hospital for a professional assessment. If necessary, follow the doctor's advice to receive the corresponding treatment. You can also listen to the doctor's opinions and suggestions about whether you need psychological counseling.

This is just my personal opinion, for reference only. Take care of yourself.

Dear questioner,

Hi, I'm Kelly. Your words really touched me. It's so inspiring to see a father who reflects on himself.

I also get the feeling that the questioner is feeling pretty guilty and self-blaming.

Being a new parent can be a little overwhelming, right? It's hard to tell what happened from the short text, but I can sense that the questioner is going through a tough time.

I just wanted to check in and see if the questioner's emotions have been stable since the incident when the baby was two years old. Is this conflict with his wife the first time?

If it happens just now and then, there's no need to worry. Take a deep breath and try to figure out what's really going on.

I'm wondering if the questioner's parents had these kinds of arguments when he was a child?

If the questioner's childhood was also filled with similar experiences, it's likely that he will act similarly now. It's possible that this pattern has been passed down through the generations. Emotions can be felt through awareness. It's important to understand what happened in the past.

If the questioner and his wife often have conflicts, it would be really helpful for them to also observe his wife's mood, as her mood will also affect the child. Parents are role models for their children, and if we are aware of this, we can think about it. If this is the case over the long term, will the child learn?

It's so important to remember that parents still have a huge impact on their children at this stage, especially when it comes to attachment. Children who feel loved and secure will be so much happier!

Assuming it's only once, there's no need for the questioner to be overly nervous. You can show your wife how much you care. If there are any unresolved emotions or conflicts between you, I suggest seeing a psychologist or learning more about developmental psychology to understand children's stages of growth and explore yourself.

I really hope my answer helps you think about things.

I wish you all the very best and lots of happiness and joy!

Hello, question asker!

From your description, it seems like you might be feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. I'm here to listen and support you.

So, what happened?

My wife had a few complaints about me, and I got a little upset. I guess I lost control of my emotions for a second. I told my wife to go sleep somewhere else, that I would take care of the baby. Then the baby seemed to wake up, so my wife went to comfort it, but I stopped her like a crazy person.

Then the sweet baby woke up and started crying, so I had a little tiff with my wife over the baby and took him to the living room. The poor little munchkin cried for his mother, so I held him tightly at first, but then I let go when I felt better. The baby wanted to be held by his mother, but I was still feeling a bit emotional, so I told my wife what I thought. She then took the baby and went to the corner, where the baby cried loudly.

During this time, I also hit myself and slapped myself, and did other things that I know were not very nice.

I'll give you a big hug from afar ? I really hope my answer will help you!

It's so important to remember that our emotions have nothing to do with what actually happened. They're all about how we perceive it.

I'd love to know what you thought when you heard your wife nag.

Let's think about what we can do if we find it difficult to control our emotions.

In life, people can generally be divided into two types when it comes to dealing with emotions. Some people are ruled by their emotions. They can only let themselves be reduced to weaklings and let life slip into the abyss.

The other type is the person who can control their emotions. They're the ones who can stay calm and at peace with the world, even when faced with gossip and rumors.

You can change yourself and manage your emotions by starting with these three simple points.

1. Give yourself a little time to calm down before you react. If you feel your temper rising, take a deep breath and wait 12 seconds before you respond.

Dr. Ronald, an American emotion management expert, once said something really interesting:

We all get angry sometimes. It's only natural. But did you know that a storm of anger usually lasts no more than 12 seconds? That's right! So, if you can control these 12 seconds, you can resolve negative emotions. If we can calm down for 12 seconds before losing our temper, the urge to explode will be much weaker.

You'll be so happy you were able to exercise self-control and avoid those losses!

2. Get your body moving with 30 minutes of exercise!

It's so great to see all the scientific studies showing how exercise can really help us to regulate our moods!

The lovely folks over at The Huffington Post have put together a handy dandy "emotion-exercise table." It's got some great tips! Like, when you're feeling stressed, yoga is a great way to relax. And when you're feeling blue, taking a swim can really help you feel better.

When you're feeling anxious, why not dance to some music? It'll help you feel better!

After a good workout, you'll find that any negative emotions you had have disappeared along with the sweat!

3. Write for 60 minutes.

The wonderful writer Shen Congwen was known for his "good temper." He was simple-minded, kind, and tolerant, and no matter what bad mood he was in, it could not affect him. He especially liked to write, and was a prolific writer. He called his writing "emotional gymnastics," which I think is a great way of putting it!

No matter what kind of emotion he feels, he can incorporate it into his writing and cleverly lock it in the text. So when you can't hold back your emotions, you might as well learn from Shen Congwen!

It's always a good idea to save your energy for things that are more worthwhile. Use that extra time to do something that'll make you a better person!

I've got two simple rules for emotional management that I'd love to share with you.

Rule 1: Everything is going to be okay! All losses are just minor hiccups in the grand scheme of things.

And remember, don't waste your precious energy on trivial matters!

It's totally normal to feel unsatisfied with nine out of ten things in life. But if you let negative emotions build up, they can really take a toll on your health and mood.

We are the masters of our emotions, not the other way around. We can do this!

When we can't change the outside world, the best thing we can do is change our inner selves. Try to overcome your bad mood and become a better version of yourself!

I just wanted to let you know that the above content comes from the Internet.

Later on, for a while there, my little guy would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and cry, and it took a long time to calm him down.

My little guy is almost three, and sometimes when he gets emotional, he'll bang his head against the wall. Is this normal, or have I done something to cause it or left a psychological impact on him?

I've always been a little worried about how this might affect him, his future character, how he deals with things, and even his future life and marriage.

Psychologically speaking, the "kicking a cat effect" occurs when we pass on our dissatisfaction to those around us, which sets off a series of vicious chain reactions that wound both the other person and ourselves. It's so easy to get caught up in this, isn't it?

It's totally normal to lose control of your emotions sometimes. We've all been there! It sounds like your wife's words reminded you of a bad experience, which can trigger a strong reaction. I wonder if we've ever thought about what the underlying reason is.

I know how important it is for you to know whether the children have been affected by this row. I can understand your anxiety and worries, and I'm here to help.

So, what should we do next? I've shared some tips above that you can try to slowly correct. We should give ourselves some time to become a good father and husband. It's important to learn to manage our emotions.

Of course, a 60-point dad is also great! It's so important to have an outlet for your emotions. This incident has really helped us all to be more aware, so I just want to say well done for being so aware!

Even when they're sleeping, young babies can feel their parents' arguments. But it's not enough to affect our whole life. We can manage our emotions and give our children better compensation. If we really consider the children, we should learn to love the children and their mothers. Of course, our emotions are also very important. The first thing to do is to ask ourselves what our inner needs are and how we can cope better. We can set up a safe corner at home to let our emotions vent better, so as not to hurt other innocent people. When we're angry, we can hit pillows or some soft things. What's the point of self-abuse?

I can see that you want your wife to see you and your efforts, so that she can give you more encouragement and understanding. I think you are also lacking love and a sense of security, which is totally understandable!

Secondly, it's great that you're thinking about how this will affect your child. It's so important to take care of yourself. It's good that you're considering how to give yourself better love, while also thinking about how to deal with emotions, emotional stability, and non-violent communication.

Wishing you all the best, my friend. I love you. I'm sorry I'm late.

Hello, question owner. You are a loving and attentive father who cares deeply for your child and is aware of the impact of your past experiences on your child.

Children are like blank paper. Parents are like photocopiers. Whatever parents copy out will appear on the blank paper.

A two-year-old child may not be able to express himself clearly in words and may not understand what is going on between adults, but one thing is for sure: the way parents get along with each other and their behavior patterns will affect their child for the rest of his life, ever since he was born.

Your child currently feels insecure and that there is disharmony in your relationship with your spouse. There is no doubt that the relationship between husband and wife is the cornerstone of family relationships. It is a simple fact that a good relationship between husband and wife will raise a child who is also full of love, confident, and secure.

Don't blame yourself. You're an ordinary person with the right to vent. Accept it. Don't fall into a spiral of regret.

The psychological state of your child is closely related to the psychological state of your marriage. Follow these tips to help you and your family:

1. Recall all the wonderful experiences and moments from when you first met, got to know each other, and fell in love. Write these moments in black and white.

2. Communicate thoroughly with yourself and write down 20 reasons for getting along well with your other half.

3. Write a thank-you letter to your partner and read it to her in a beautiful environment with a homely atmosphere.

3. Do one small thing for your loved one every day, whether it's cooking breakfast or watching a movie with your loved one, or even just a morning kiss. Do it every day for 30 consecutive days.

4. Every morning when your baby wakes up and every night before your baby goes to sleep, you and your spouse kiss and hug your baby. You tell your baby, "Mommy and Daddy love you so much, XX (your baby's nickname).

"I wish you a happy and blessed family, and I also wish your baby a healthy and happy growth."

I am certain that you will have a happy and harmonious family, and I am equally certain that your baby will have a healthy and happy growth.

I'm Chen Jia, and the world loves you.

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

From the information provided, it is evident that the child's current behavior is a source of concern for the questioner. Specifically, it has been observed that when the child is emotionally agitated, he will slap his head. This has prompted the questioner to reflect on an incident that occurred the night before. It is unclear whether this incident may have had a negative influence on the child or left a psychological impact.

From the questioner's recollection, that night, the child's mother voiced several concerns to you. Were these issues accurately presented? Was the situation beyond your capacity to resolve?

After hearing her complaints, why did you become so emotional? You were unable to maintain control and reacted by yelling and hitting yourself.

It is important to be able to recognize your emotions in order to manage them effectively.

It is not typical to become emotionally distressed over a few words. At the time in question, my wife was expressing her frustration. In normal circumstances, the question owner may have regarded her complaints as trivial. However, that night, before my wife voiced her concerns, the question owner was experiencing significant pressure. You were bearing the burden of this pressure silently. Your wife's complaints were the final straw that led to your emotional breakdown. While this was not the primary cause, at that moment, you could no longer tolerate the situation and knew you had to release your emotions.

It is easy to imagine how frightened and helpless the questioner's wife and child felt at the time. One was witnessing the questioner lose his temper for the first time, and the other was seeing the questioner treat himself in such a way later on. When we feel stressed in our daily lives, it is important to pay attention to these feelings. They will not go away on their own. Only by solving the underlying problem can we relieve the pressure we are under.

The solution is to value yourself and maintain family harmony.

The child of the question owner is now three years old. The question owner has observed that when the child is emotionally agitated, he will hit his head. The child is like a blank piece of paper during the growth process. Whatever the parents draw on it, the child will become like it. While the child's current behavior cannot be said to be entirely caused by the question owner's behavior at the time, there is a clear correlation. In the child's perception, his father is emotional, and he is using this method to solve his own emotional problems.

It is of the utmost importance for parents to maintain emotional stability when raising a child. Some parents shower their children with excessive affection and attention, which can result in a lack of emotional regulation when they become overwhelmed. This can manifest as emotional outbursts and yelling, which can hinder children's ability to comprehend their parents' emotions. They may perceive their parents as intimidating when they lose their temper, leading to self-defense or self-destructive behaviors.

For instance, the child in question may strike his head when experiencing strong emotions. It is possible that you did not fully comprehend his attempts to convey his feelings. This form of anxiety stems from the desire to express oneself but being unable to do so. There is another type of anxiety, where the child seeks attention from his parents and a sense of fulfilment from their care. If you wish to gradually alter this behaviour, it is essential that parents set a positive example. It is beneficial for parents to prioritise their own wellbeing and recognise their own needs. When you identify an emotional issue, you can employ various techniques to manage it effectively. When parents maintain a harmonious relationship, children can flourish in a healthy and supportive environment.

Method: Learn to relieve yourself and improve the current situation.

It would be beneficial to communicate more. The root cause of the issue is that the child's mother expressed her concerns to the questioner on several occasions, which led to emotional responses from the questioner. In a positive environment, there is no need for constant complaints. Complaining indicates dissatisfaction with the current situation. It would be helpful to understand if the questioner typically engages in more communication with his wife, listens to each other, and engages in occasional conversation. Communication is an effective method to enhance relationships.

Relief: When we are emotionally distressed, whether it is ourselves or our family members, we can employ various methods to relieve ourselves, so that we can return to a good state to face the problem. Exercise is a method that I have found to be useful and relatively easy to implement. You can exercise indoors or outdoors, select your favorite sport, and allow yourself to perspire. In the process of exercising, we will gradually feel that our mood seems less depressed than before, because exercise produces dopamine, which gives us a sense of pleasure. Going on a trip with your family, seeing the scenery of nearby attractions, going into nature, and embracing nature are the most accommodating to all our bad emotions. In the process of relaxing, you can also have parent-child interaction time with your wife and children, which is the best of both worlds.

The questioner's use of the term "the mother of the child" in the description indicates that she views herself first, then her role as your wife, and finally as the mother of the child. When you chose to get married and have children, both of you have a responsibility in educating the child. While she may not be perfect, it is important to remember that a woman's happiness can be seen in her appearance. When she feels the love the questioner has for her, she will be motivated to work harder to maintain your family. When you as a couple can work together to educate the child, I believe you will find the right way to do it.

I suggest the book Parenting and Child Development by Hu Shenzhi as a resource for the questioner. It emphasizes the importance of providing care and love to raise children effectively and guides readers through the process of growth and development. I hope this information is useful for the questioner.

Hello!

I can definitely feel your fatherly love for your child in your writing!

If you want to help your child grow up, you can do it! All you have to do is slowly build a stable personality.

You mentioned self-abusive behavior, and it seems that you are easily emotional when your wife complains. This is something you can work on!

I can't help but feel that your teenage years may have been relatively difficult, but you've come so far!

Your father or mother may have been a bit of a whiner, and you became the recipient of their emotions. But you're not a passive person who attacks from within! You're a strong, decisive person who can make decisions and take action.

Complaining about family matters is sometimes a way to vent emotions, but it's also a way to find solutions! Everyone wants someone to help solve problems, and as a result, everyone will become empowered.

Be decisive and act!

You can feel the emotions behind the other person's words, but you can't let negative emotions get the better of you. You must persist in making decisions and taking action. This is a test, and it is also a requirement for a father, which is an amazing opportunity for you to grow!

Your current doubts are not entirely groundless, but you can overcome them! If you keep worrying about it, your child may notice your nervousness because they are very perceptive, but you can show them that you're confident and ready to take on the world.

When the rest of the family is racing through their days, you can take a deep breath and relax! Learn to unwind your body and mind, and use this to inspire your wife to be more optimistic and cheerful.

And the best part is, the child won't be affected by anxiety!

You can choose a book to read and make some notes; then, you can even invite your wife to read it together and ask her to recommend good books to you as well!

Encourage each other and create a wonderful, harmonious family atmosphere for reading!

You absolutely adore your baby and you're so excited for them to grow up healthy!

Then comes the fun part! You get to make a choice for yourself, understand the difficulties of life during past growth stages, perceive the emotions of sadness, sorrow, depression, and anger in the past pain, and use the power of your mind to guide yourself to change and completely overturn self-abusive behavior.

I hope you get to accompany your children as they grow up healthy and happy!