Working at a vocational college in the south, a single, older adult is contemplating returning to the north. Is it an impulsive decision, or is it feasible?

Hello.

You want to stay in the north, but you're not sure it'll work out. After you return, you'll find security in your work and relationship.

Your current job is making you anxious and insecure.

The constant changes, the anxiety of preparing for classes, and the living environment are exhausting and make you anxious.

A temporary delay will only give you a short break. When school starts, you will be anxious again.

Your body will feel unwell if you are exposed to this state for too long.

Your body is already telling you that you are not comfortable here and you don't like it.

You have not established any emotional connection with the environment, the people, or the events here.

You will be okay after you go back.

In your last job, you had to take turns participating in the skills competition, and then the pandemic hit, leaving you feeling tired and depressed. You're ready to try a new environment.

The fact is, pressure at work is everywhere. The key is to regulate it. Avoiding it is not a solution.

When you try to escape pressure, you only make things worse. You end up closer to that point in time when you will be under even more pressure.

You need to find your own motivation to act. Ask yourself: do you really like this job? Or is it just the next best choice?

You said you didn't want to be a counselor, so you chose to be a teacher. Even as a teacher, you have to prepare lessons and attend to your classes, so you can't separate work from life.

You may want to change jobs because the work environment is getting more and more stressful. But if you don't like the new one, you'll still feel tortured.

If you really like it, you'll want to spend energy on it even after work. This will make you more down-to-earth and more fulfilled.

Find a job you like, apply the 80/20 principle, and don't try to do everything perfectly. Focus on the essentials.

Find a sense of meaning in your work to motivate yourself.

Take some time for yourself, pursue your own interests, and focus on your personal growth. I understand you're concerned about relationship challenges. When you're in a positive headspace and fully engaged with life, you're more likely to encounter someone who truly aligns with your needs. When you're feeling depleted, it's challenging to recognize the potential in others.

You've got this!

A hug!

Your situation is complicated. You seem uncomfortable where you are now. Let's look at whether returning to the north is impulsive and feasible.

Impulse analysis:

Emotional problems: You describe emotional swings and stress, which can lead to bad decisions. Making big decisions when you're upset is often wrong.

2. Work environment issues: Your stress may have made you want to quit your job or move.

3. Age: You're almost 35, which might make you anxious about your career and make you make rash decisions.

Feasibility analysis:

4. Family and social factors: You have family and friends in the north, which is one reason you want to move back. If you think family and social relationships are important to your sense of well-being and quality of life, then moving back may be a good choice.

5. Career development: The north may offer more career development opportunities. If you think you can get better career opportunities in the north, then returning to the north may be advantageous.

6. Mental health: Life in the south has had a negative impact on your mental health. Returning to the north could improve your mental state and quality of life.

General advice:

7. Think it over: Before making a decision, take some time to think it over and make sure your choice is logical.

8. Think about the risks and benefits of returning to the north. Think about how your family and social network there can help you, as well as the job opportunities.

9. Get advice from a professional if you're confused.

10. Make a plan: If you decide to return to the north, make a plan, including jobs and moving.

11. Seek support. Family and friends can help you through this transition.

No matter what you choose, make sure your decision is based on logic, not emotion.

Hello.

You seem anxious and are having a hard time.

I understand your situation. For prefecture-level city schools, the more stable groups are locals and people who have formed new families locally.

People from outside the city who don't have families find it hard to feel at home.

The age of 35 is an important milestone. Many people feel anxious about their careers, relationships, and future living arrangements at this age. This makes it seem like we don't have much time to find ourselves or a lifestyle that suits us.

There's pressure to move on to the next stage of our lives.

This makes us feel stressed. We want to push ourselves more to counteract the pressure. From what you described, there is a sense of tension and anxiety in your work and life.

Working at a university is hard. You have to prepare classes, manage students, and do paperwork. But we think you might be putting too much pressure on yourself.

Do you want to leave this job for a reason?

I had a hard job at a bad location. My subconscious was less tolerant of the hardship.

Your physical and emotional reactions may be a language. What is this language telling you?

My advice is to approach this job as if you're leaving your current job. This may help you relax. You can always go back to the north, and this experience in the south will be a valuable memory. You can also look at the recruitment in the north to see if it might suit you better.

Taking action can make us feel more down-to-earth and less anxious.

I hope this helps. Let's encourage each other!

1. Now, let's dive into the specific problems you currently have.

The working environment presents some challenges, including symptoms such as edema and headaches.

There's a gap between how I see myself and how I see the world around me. I'd love to bridge that gap and feel more connected to my work and home life.

I feel a bit ennui-like, similar to the anxiety I felt at the end of a long holiday when I was a student.

Work is an integral part of life, and preparing lessons is an exciting challenge!

The ever-changing landscape of work tasks and forms presents an exciting challenge for me to overcome!

Lack of security, often having work-related nightmares

I'm so excited to relax at the weekend, but I do worry about missing important notifications!

I'm filled with a longing to return to the north!

A fascinating confusion and resistance to relationships and love!

It's time for an exciting change! Consider impulsive career changes and seek new job opportunities.

2. Possible psychological problems Let's dive in and explore some possible psychological problems together!

Based on what you shared, there might be a few psychological issues at play.

1. Work-related stress and anxiety: It's important to be aware of the potential impact of stress and anxiety on our physical and mental health, especially in the context of our work environment. By recognizing the signs and symptoms, such as physical and mental discomfort, edema, and headaches, we can take steps to manage and improve our well-being.

2. The split between self-perception and reality: feeling a lack of connection between the two states of going to work and coming home from work, as well as a yearning for the north and a desire to return, reflect a split and conflict between the individual's self-perception and real life. This presents an exciting opportunity for growth and change!

3. Professional burnout and psychological fatigue: Feeling bored, similar to the anxiety at the end of a long holiday during school, not being able to separate work from life, and preparation for classes becoming a psychological burden may indicate professional burnout and psychological fatigue. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome these challenges and achieve a healthy work-life balance.

4. Work-related anxiety and avoidance: Frequent changes in work tasks and methods lead to new challenges, which can be overcome with the right mindset and adaptability.

5. Lack of emotional security: If you're feeling insecure at work, having nightmares about your job, struggling to relax at the weekends or worrying about missing important notifications, it might be time to take a step back and reassess your situation.

6. Emotional confusion and struggle: This is an exciting time of change and growth! It's normal to feel confused and resistant to romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships. It's also normal to consider impulsive career changes and seek new job opportunities. This is your chance to embrace new challenges and opportunities in your personal and professional life.

The great news is that these psychological problems can be easily addressed and alleviated through psychological counseling, psychotherapy, or other mental health interventions. It is highly recommended that you seek the timely support and assistance of professional mental health institutions to promote mental health and enhance adaptability.

3. Personal Choice Advice

It's time to dive deep and do a thorough self-analysis! This is the best way to gain clarity on your needs and expectations and make the best choices for you. We've got a fantastic model self-analysis plan that we're excited for you to try!

(1) Self-reflection It's time to take a good, long look at yourself!

Now for the fun part! Let's talk about your career development goals.

What are your career development goals? Are you thrilled with your current work and life situation?

Are you ready to take your career to the next level? Or do you want to find a balance between growth and comfort?

2. Personal Life Needs Now it's time to think about your personal life needs!

Now, let's talk about your expectations and needs in terms of social relationships, family, personal development, and more!

Are you thrilled with your current life situation?

3. Health and psychological state It's time to focus on your health and psychological state! This is an exciting part of your journey because you get to take control of your well-being.

It's time to take a good, hard look at your own state of health, both physical and mental. Ask yourself: is your current work situation having a negative impact on your health?

(2) Career Planning and Adjustment Now it's time to start planning and adjusting your career!

1. Career counseling and assessment

Seeking help from a professional career consultant or psychologist is a great way to make a comprehensive assessment and plan for your career development!

2. Adjust your work status

You can absolutely make changes to your current work status, communicate with your leader or colleagues, and find a way to work and pace that suits you better!

(3) Find support and solutions It's time to find the support and solutions you need!

Let's talk about social support!

Don't be afraid to talk to your friends and family! They're there for you and they'll be happy to give you advice and support.

2. Find solutions!

Think about and explore other job opportunities, including those in the north, to see if there are any that suit you better – you never know what amazing things might be waiting for you!

Now it's time to put all that great thinking to good use! Consider the above factors and develop an action plan, including looking for new job opportunities, adjusting your work status, or other possible options. And remember, you can do this! Stay positive, believe in yourself, and work hard for the best possible outcome.

I'm so excited for you! I really hope that through all this self-analysis and adjusting, you'll find a job and lifestyle that suits you better and achieve a better work-life balance.

Dear questioner, Please accept my sincerest condolences for your predicament. I empathize with your feelings of disorientation and distress regarding the challenges you have faced in your professional and personal endeavors in the south.

It is important to note that you are not alone in this process. There are others who are here to support you.

Your sentiments are understandable and deserving of consideration. Your experiences in the south have instilled a sense of unease, whether it be the lack of adaptability or the work pressure, which has led to feelings of physical and mental exhaustion.

There is no objective moral judgement to be made in this situation. Each individual is entitled to pursue a lifestyle that is in accordance with their own personal preferences. At the same time, I am aware of the feelings of nostalgia and longing that you have for the north, where you have established a network of personal relationships, family, and a familiarity with the cultural norms and way of life.

This sense of belonging is of significant value and should be considered as a crucial factor when contemplating a return to the north.

In psychology, this strong desire for a particular environment or situation is referred to as a "sense of belonging." A sense of belonging is considered one of the fundamental needs of human beings, as it fosters feelings of acceptance, recognition, and security.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a profound sense of belonging to the north. This sentiment is not merely a transient inclination; rather, it emanates from a deep-seated aspiration and necessity within your being.

Nevertheless, the viability of returning to the north is contingent upon a thorough weighing and consideration of the relevant factors. Initially, it would be prudent to maintain closer contact with friends and relatives in the north to gain insight into their lives and work.

Communication with them will facilitate a more comprehensive understanding of the actual situation in the north, including the working environment, cost of living, interpersonal relationships, and other aspects. This will assist in gaining a clearer perspective on the challenges and opportunities that may be encountered upon returning to the north.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to utilise your allocated vacation time to undertake a personal visit to the north. This will afford you the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the pace of life and environment there, which is arguably the most effective way to gain insight into a place.

A return visit to the north allows for a more intuitive understanding of the changes and developments that have occurred there, as well as the opportunity to meet with and communicate with friends and relatives to gain insight into their recent experiences and sentiments. This experience can facilitate a deeper comprehension of the north, thereby providing a more robust foundation for decision-making.

It is also important to note that, regardless of whether one opts to remain in the south or return to the north, careful consideration and planning of one's future is essential. Goals and needs can be considered in terms of career development and personal life.

Subsequently, one can compare the probability of attaining these objectives in the south and the north. This can assist in discerning a more precise future trajectory and provide more explicit direction for decision-making.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to return to the north is one that must be made by the individual in question. It is hoped that the aforementioned considerations will be given due attention, in addition to the individual's physical and mental health.

Regardless of whether you opt to remain in the south or return to the north, I am confident that you will be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life. I wish you the best of luck in your decision-making process.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

A single older person who works at a university in the south wants to return to the north. Is this impulsive? Is it feasible?

"Let's talk about attitudes.

Reality: Mature individuals consider the idea's rationality, purpose, and feasibility. They also think about the circumstances under which the idea was proposed. From the description, the questioner has already described your work experience and feelings about your work.

We're not giving advice here. The questioner is logical and knows what they want. We need to consider whether we're willing to take this step to achieve our plans.

Knowing what we want and what we expect helps us make better decisions. We can also listen to our family members' opinions about returning to the north. They may not have all the answers, but they can support and encourage us. If we can't decide, imagine your best friend is asking for help with a problem. What would you say?

We can also look for similar experiences or ask for advice. Then, we can choose the answer that seems best and try it out. We can decide whether to do it based on the results.

Good day. I am Bai Li Yina, the respondent to your inquiry. I hope my reply provides you with the warmth and assistance you seek.

The questioner revealed that, as a native of the north, he had attempted to work in the south due to emotional issues caused by the pandemic. However, he had not anticipated encountering a multitude of challenges, including physical difficulties resulting from climate change and psychological distress caused by demanding work. He expressed a strong desire to return to the north to resume his duties. Was this decision impulsive or prudent?

[Situation analysis]

From the details you have provided, I can also discern the various efforts you have made in the south over the past few years, the sense of helplessness in trying to adapt, and the increasingly strong sense of rejection that is a source of significant distress. You have experienced a challenging situation, and I would like to extend my support and offer a sense of warmth and understanding.

Let us identify the root causes of your discomfort.

1. Physical discomfort caused by the change in climate

2. Psychological discomfort caused by work intensity

3. Mental discomfort caused by poor living conditions

[Further questions for consideration]

1. Given the difficulties you have experienced with your current position, why did you remain in that role for two years before deciding to change jobs? What factors influenced your decision to stay in that role for so long?

Have you reconsidered your desire to change jobs?

2. If the previous job had not been affected by the epidemic, how long do you believe you would have remained in that position? Did you enjoy your previous role?

3. How do you cope with pressure and high intensity at work? Do you avoid these situations, or do you find ways to relieve your anxiety?

4. Please indicate whether you are satisfied with your career and your work.

Please describe the aspects of the position that you find most appealing.

[Recommended methods to try]

1. It is important to identify ways to relieve stress. Over the past two years, you have been experiencing high work intensity and the mental pressure associated with tedious work. While I am not aware of your personal stress management techniques, I have observed that you tend to avoid or even compartmentalize the pain. It is beneficial to engage in activities that align with your interests and promote happiness. When faced with challenges, utilizing your preferences and finding ways to relax may be more effective than avoidance.

2. Individuals have disparate perceptions of work. Some find it enjoyable, some pursue it for financial remuneration, some view it as challenging, and some seek stability. What are your expectations? If you desire stability but select a demanding role that requires significant effort, you may experience gradual discomfort, regardless of your location. The issue is not the nature of the work itself, but the discrepancy between your expectations and the reality of the role.

Naturally, high-intensity income and stable income are compatible, so it is essential to first ascertain your genuine expectations and then seek a position that aligns with them.

3. There is no correct or incorrect decision. Changing jobs or not will have both advantages and disadvantages. In fact, through your analysis, you have already made a decision. You just need to identify the real reason for your hesitation and consider it carefully. Only by firmly believing that your decision is the right one can you improve your future and deserve better.

I hope these methods will prove useful to you.

Please be aware that change takes time and patience. There is no need to worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems.

You have my support and that of the wider organization. I hope we can find a solution to the problem you're facing soon and that you're able to find a way forward that works for you.

I would like to express my gratitude to those who have liked and responded to my messages. I wish you peace and joy.

Hello. If you want to, you can answer your questions. I hope some suggestions can help you.

We need to sort out two major problems.

One is our emotional state.

This is the most important thing. When we experience burnout, cultural shock, or social changes, it can affect our health.

We need to see a psychologist to help us cope.

The second part is our career planning.

We don't want to change fields or industries and switch jobs. We want to settle in a different region.

We may want to change our work, but we also need to change where we work.

We're not used to the work or the social environment here.

Our work situation may also affect us. We may want to return to our hometown or move back north. This is not an impulse. It is a result of our physical and mental health.

We need to plan our work and career development based on our physical and mental health.

We hope you can find a job and home that suit you.

The world loves you!